Are You Ready For Some Football? Seriously, We Need Full Participation Here!

Good afternoon, peeps! ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!!! I know I am! I SO want Peyton Manning to get his ass whooped on, but there is way too much hype on the guy. Although the Bears defense is TEN TIMES BETTER (even without Tommie Harris and Mike Brown) and their special teams is better (if Devin Hester returns a punt/kickoff for a TD, the Bears win BIG) and their running backs are top notch if not totally underrated (and don’t get me wrong, Joseph Addai is a stud) I think that the Colts have the CBS doesn’t what a moment like 2001 with Ray Lewis winning the MVP Award thing going for them. The Colts have a average defense (that gave up a SHITLOAD of yards and points to New England and played two one-dimensional teams in Baltimore and Kansas City so all they had to do was put 7 in the box) and we all know that their offense is very good, although they are struggling. Despite that, Viniteri is clutch and will give them points if they cross mid-field in any way shape or form. With all that being said its time for the FIRST EVER INSTALLMENT OF…

CHACHI’S SPORTS TODAY!!

Yeah, I started this last year but that didn’t work out so well (even though I DID pick Florida to win the NCAA's…and that’s all I got right) but now I have a name for it. Which means it will RULE! So today I will give you my pick for the biggest Super Bowl since the one before the last one because that game SUCKED. So did the commercials. Anyway, here we go.

Super Bowl XLI

Chicago Bears Vs. Indianapolis Colts

Okay, I have told you the set up so here it goes. Although the Bears have the better defense and the Colts have maybe the best offense in the league (aside from maybe the Cincinnati Bengals) it is going to come down to two things: special teams and turnovers. The kicking game is a wash with Robbie Gould and Adam Viniteri both kicking clutch kicks during the playoffs. It comes down to Devin Hester. He has been really quiet, going against good special teams defenses and being the cold of Chicago. The guy went to Tha U and is familiar with Joe Robbie/Pro Player so he is the turning point in this game. Give Rex Grossman a short field and it reduces his chances for mistakes. However, the Colts offense creates issues for the Bears unless Brian Urlacher covers EVERYONE. The Colts can score points, but the Bears proved they can too. The difference is they score them at the EXPENSE of the other team with big defensive and special teams play. Peyton has proven he will give the ball up and they Bears prove they will take it. With Reggie Wayne and Marvin Harrison being rather small I can see two to three fumbles from strips and hard ass hits. Quite simply, if the Bears want to win, their defense has to score and their offense needs to kill the clock with the run and get points when they can. For the Colts to win….the fix has to work. Or their offense needs to keep the Bears D on the field. The way I look at it, the more they throw, the more likely the Bears will get a big turnover so expect to see a shitload of running from both teams. In the end, I have two picks. And here they are…

What I THINK Will Happen:

I think the Bears D keeps the Colts out of the endzone for the most part and plays field position, much like the Ravens did earlier. However, the Bears have more weapons on offense and THE BEST special teams in the NFL and that becomes the difference. Hester returns a short punt for a touchdown while the defense plays stout enough to get a 10 point lead late, and in the end Peyton is forced to throw and gas a big INT retuned for a TD to seal it.

Bears 23
Colts 13
MVP: Thomas Jones or Devin Hester

What Is GOING To Happen:

The Colts have everything to lose in this. So many years of almost getting there is great drama and CBS needs a BIG GAME after the last two Super Bowls being poorly rated and received (remember Janet’s titty? I know I do! Still got it on tape!). Not only that, the Bears DO have their weaknesses (hit or miss rushing defense, Rex Grossman is the football version of Bruce Banner) and those play to the Colts strengths. But let’s face it here; it is about Peyton Manning. America loves that horse-faced fucker. What is going to happen is a close game early and then to big plays to Dallas Clark change the face of the game. All of a sudden the Bears are forced to play catch-up and the game is put in to Rex Grossman’s hands. And you know what? HE ALMOST DOES IT. Rex leads a furious comeback and the Bears defense tightens up at the end to make it tied after a long touchdown drive in the 4th…leaving Peyton with 2:18 to lead the Colts down the field for the winning field goal. Peyton gets the sooooo close and then A.V. comes out for a 51 yarder at the gun….and hits it. It hurts, but CBS needs suspense with the commercials sucking. Peyton gets the monkey off his back with big close wins over the Patriots and Bears.

Colts 34
Beas 31
MVP: Peyton ‘Seabiscuit’ Manning
GOD I HATE HIM!!!

So yeah, those are my picks. The last one is what is gonna happen and that pisses me off. Eh, thems the breaks.

Okay, something real quick. As you all know, I like manga. Minus yaoi because that’s the devils reading. However….since when did Avril Lavigne need a fucking manga?! Manga needs ninjas, giant robots, half dressed school girl and demons! Or just a book about giant robot ninjas piloted by half dressed school girls that fight demons! Whoa…I may have created the greatest manga EVER. Anyway, manga does NOT need s8ter bois! NO ONE NEEDS SK8TER BOIS!! THEY NEED TO BE BEAT WITH MOON ROCKS!! I am so sick of everything being manga. The day Paris Hilton gets a manga is the day that…oh shit a Jessica Simpson commercial. Why wont she just go away. What was I saying? Leave manga where it belongs. With nerds, otaku and perverts. Which…I am all three. *Sigh* I am so teh lame.

So I have heard some shit about my affinity (Yeah, I will use that word for now) for the Hinoi Team and them being under the Mason-Dixon line of age. I’m not stupid, I know it’s not legal. HERE anyway. You know who else I have a liking for? Ann Curry and Katie Couric.

Oh yeah, That is a pumpernickel rye swirl news sandwich I want to be the roast beef in. If you don’t get that joke then you don’t know funny. Seriously, it’s over for you. And yes I KNOW they are literally twice my age! I don't care, they's HAWT. I’m a man of extremes, peeps. That and I don’t know where all the women my age are. Oh, yeah THEY ARE WITH OTHER GUYS NOT ME BECAUSE I AM AN ASSHOLE. No falsity in that previous statement. Eh, time to do whenever I feel sad. No, not drink. WATCH KORIKKI!!


Then I drink. Well, enjoy the game everyone and I will be up this week for the new Doucheology rankings and the Countdown on Friday! Stay up, peeps.

Chachi Out.