We Are Running On A Slight Tape Delay...

Okay, so the awards are running late. Billy Crystal backed out so I had to do the honors myself. So America, Canada, Japan and any other country that is cool enough to read this, I present to you...

THE 2007 CHACHI AWARDS!!!

Yeah, you know you like it. I want to give a quick thank you to Neil Diamond and Jebus because without them there is no me. I also want to thank Pootie Tang and The Big Lebowski. No real reason, those two movies just kick ass. Let's get this shindig started. First up, we have the Individual Awards!

Let's start with the First Annual Gackt Bishie of the Year (Hottest Male) Award! The nominees are....

Johnny Depp
Chris Leak
Matthew McConaughey
Bi (Rain)
T.I.
Justin Timberlake

Stiff competition. Let's find out who the best peice of mancake is. The Winner Is…

Matthew McConaughey!!! Yes, the Too Hot Texan takes home the first Bishie Award! He made us cry in We Are Marshall and made us swoon in Failure To Launch. All around, a hot year for Matt. Now to the next award, the Salma Hayek Hawt Tottie of the Year (Hottest Lady) Award. Ooohhh, my favorite. The nominees are...

Shakira
Esther Baxter
Hyori Lee
Vida Guerra
Kelly Hu
Dulce Maria

Seriously, can we go wrong with any of these, peeps? Hells no. But there has to be a winner. And The Winner Is…

Vida Guerra!!! Yeah, I likes the me some Vida. It was close (there was a vote for Hyori and a vote for Kelly Hu) but Vida takes the Hawt Tottie Award. Well deserved, as she was looking quite nice in 2006. Too bad she got naked and ruined my illusion. Eh, thems the breaks. The next award is a little controversial but its OH SO RIGHT! The nominees for the You + Me = Jailtime Award are...

Jojo
Hayden Panettiere
Alyson Michalka
Hinoi Team

Yeah, that's 5-10 per lady. And The Winner Is…

Hayden Panettiere!!! This is less from Heroes and more from Bring It On: All Or Nothing. Greatest movie ever. Yes, I know she's not 18 but look at her. She knows she ist taunting me with her hotness. It's not fair! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! Well, congratulations. Hayden, you will be getting love notes from me soon. Now for the best award ever. The nominees for the Sigh…I’d Hit That Award are...

Kumi Koda
Christina Milian
Scarlett Johanssen
Lindsay Lohan

And The Winner Is….

Scarlett Johanssen/Kumi Koda!!! Yes, a tie. Scarlett is the 1B compared to Kumi Koda's 1A. Despite the hittability factor of Kumi Koda (and it is HIGH, just look at the Won't Be Long video with EXILE) I could not in goot conscious leave Scarlett out. So, they will share this award, much like I wish they would share me. OH, I'm naughty!

Next on the Chachi's we have the Movie Awards! They will be up later on tonight!