Doucheology 201

Good evening, peeps! There won't be an update tomorrow (CAN YOU FIND IT IN YOUR HEART TO FORGIVE ME?!) so I wanted to get the updates out. Here it is, hot off the presses...

DOUCHEOLOGY!!!

Yeah, it's time for the second week of rankings to set up the event of 2007! There has been some movement this week, it sets up for some Douche Madness in Feburary!! Let's get started!

The 50 Cent Musicians Region

1, Bono (Last Week #1)
2. Diddy (Last Week #2)
3. Clay Aiken (Last Week #3)
4. Eminem (Last Week #4)
5. Toby Keith (Last Week #5)
6. Nelly (Last Week #6)
7. Fall Out Boy (Last Week #7)
8. The Fray (Last Week #8)
9. Dave Matthews Band (Last Year #9)
10. Fergie (Last Week #13)
11. James Blount (Last Week #10)
12. Snoop Dogg (Last Week #12)
13. Akon (Last Week # 11)
14. Gwen Stefani (Last Week #14)
15. Usher (Last Week #15)
16. Cowboy Troy (Last Week: Unranked)

Out: Carrie Underwood

No real changes in the Musician Region. Cowboy Troy is in unless the peeps give me a reason not to have him on here. Trust me, listen to his work and you will know his crapitude. Aside from that, Snoop moved ahead of Akon because I REALLY LIKE Sweet Escape. But ‘I Wanna Luv U’ sucks. Prince called, he wants you to use full words. Oh, and Fergie moves up in the seeding because she is a fucking man. Look at her and tell me I’m wrong. Ugly face makes my penis soft

The George Lucas Actor/Actress Region

1. Mel Gibson (Last Week #1)
2. Ashton Kutcher (Last Week #2)
3. George Clooney (Last Week #3)
4. Nick Cage (Last Week #4)
5. Ben Affleck (Last Week #5)
6. Jack Black (Last Week #6)
7. Leonardo DiCaprio (Last Week # 7)
8. Colin Farrel (Last Week # 8)
9. Heath Ledger (Last Week #9)
10. Hayden Christensen (Last Week #10)
11. Russell Crowe (Last Week #11)
12. Paul Walker (Last Week #12)
13. Julia Roberts (Last Week #13)
14. Benicio Del Toro (Last Week #14)
15. Brad Pitt (Last Week #15)
16. Vin Diesel (Last Week #16)

(Outs: None)
No changes in the Actor/Actress Region. This is all dependent on how Ghost Rider is. If Nick Cage screws this up (which is looking quite possible) he may move into the Top Three seeds. Aside from that, things look pretty much set.

The Heather Graham Trollop Whore Region

1. Paris Hilton (Last Week #2)
2. Tara Reid (Last Week #1)
3. Britney Spears (Last Week #4)
4. Angelina Jolie (Last Week #3)
5. Nicole Ritchie (Last Week #12)
6. Lindsay Lohan (Last Week #7)
7. Cameron Diaz (Last Week #5)
8. Jessica Simpson (Last Week #6)
9. Tyra Banks (Last Week: Unranked)
10. Pamela Anderson (Last Week #8)
11. Janet Jackson (Last Week #9)
12. Kumi Koda (Last Week #10)
13. Jennifer Lopez (Last Week #11)
14. Katie Holmes (Last Week: Unranked)
15. Drew Barrymore (Last Week #14)
16. Paula Abdul (Last Week: Unranked)

(Outs: Sarah Jessica Parker, Courtney Love, Pussycat Dolls)
Okay, major shake up here. First of, Paris is officially a whore (TOTALLY NSFW! BEWARE KIDS!). I don’t toss that around a lot and I feel bad for calling the women in here that word. But…she really is. Partying is one thing, being a braindead trollop is another. Oh, and Nicole Ritchie makes a huge jump. COCAINE?! What the fuck? If its true, what would Lionel say? Hello? Is it DEATH YOU’RE LOOKING FOR?! Nolan would laugh. Tyra jumps in to the mix, not because she’s gained weight (I kind of digs that actually. I would hit that if Nick Cannon hadn’t) but because she is all pissy about it. And she is a bitch on two confessions (Jen and my sister BOTH said she was a two faced uber-bitch and I kind of trust them). Katie Holmes jumps in this week after showing her fucking gully-hole (NSFW. Yeah, I was scared) to the world. Sad…just sad. At least we all know that we saw her tang before Tom did. WHOA! Oh, and Paula Abdul just pisses me off. To think I used to be in love with you.

The Andy Dick Fucktard Region

1. Kevin Federline (Last Week #1)
2. Nick Cannon (Last Week #2)
3. Terrell Owens (Last Week #3)
4. Quentin Tarrentino (Last Week #4)
5. Wilmer Valderrama (Last Week #5)
6. Flavor Flav (Last Week #6)
7. Ryan Seacrest (Last Week #7)
8. Bill O’Rielly (Last Week #10)
9. Verizon Guy (Last Week #8)
10. David Spade (Last Week #9)
11. Alec Baldwin (Last Week #11)
12. John Cena (Last Week #12)
13. Carson Daly (Last Week #13)
14. Ray J (Last Week: Unranked)
15. Peyton Manning (Last Week #15)
16. Jimmy Kimmel (Last Week #16)

Okay, not much here. Bill O’Rielly moves up after going on The Colbert Report and making a fool of himself. Here is the thing: Stephen Colbert is funny. Humor isn’t your thing, Bill. It’s crushing the spirit of the Left. Leave the jokes (and real news) to Stephen. Oh, and Ray J gets in for dating Whitney Houston and banging Paris V.2 Kim Kardashian on film. More jealousy on my part, but I still hate him because like Nick Cannon, is famous with no real talent to show for it while John Ritter and Marvin Gaye are dead. I fucking hate you.

Those are the ranking for this week. Any suggestions or votes let me know. I will be back Friday for the Chachi Top 20 Countdown so until then, stay up peeps! Oh wait, one thing. Look at this video and tell me whats wrong:

WHY IN THE FUCK WOULD YOU TRANSFORM INTO A MOTORCYCLE OR CAR WHEN YOU CAN FUCKING FLY?! God, the Go-Bots sucked it so damn dry. Anyway, be back on Friday with the Countdown.