The Day The Santa Saved Us From Jesus. Or Something Like That...

Merry Christmas, peeps! Hope everyone is enjoying the day with their families. Kind of a chilly day outside, even still it’s the norm for the CSP so get out and enjoy it! I am going to in a bit. First I wanted to talk about a little something that has been pissing me off.

Booty-Shaking

Now don’t get me wrong. I am ALL ABOUT the booty. As anyone that knows me can attest to, my interests in the ‘fairer’ sex goes:

1. Eyes
2. Personality
3. Booty
4. Sanity (This SHOULD be #1 but yeah, all women are crazy so it gets difficult)

See, I’m not that complex a guy. However, women (and Jamaican dudes) need to learn that the booty is a gift. It is a privilege, not a right. To just shake it in wanton fashion is dangerous to not only you but to AMERICA. Ok, not really but it is getting on my nerves. I mean first off, if you don’t have an ass, don’t do the ‘booty shake’ or ‘booty drop’ or whatever the hell it is called. It’s just bad for everyone involved from those watching to the one doing. Take this for example:

Crazy dancing making my penis soft. Secondly, for what reason is that considered dancing?! Since when was shaking your ass like a dog covered in snow or considered dancing? I know you have seen it if you are over the age of 21 or ever watched a music video. I complain about this a lot but now it has gotten out of hand.

When I was at Sing-Sing last Friday, there were middle-aged women doing the booty shake. Now I reiterate, I love the ass and it is your own personal business. That being said, the booty shake is the dumbest….and I MEAN DUMBEST dance ever. What exactly are you showing off, ladies? Are you showing your dance prowess? Congratulations you can move your hips like Paola Rey. For the love of god, kids don’t look that name up. This isn’t a family blog. For the adult males, GOOD STUFF. I’m just saying. All that is is sexual innuendo. Now if that is the vibe you are trying to give off that’s cool. However don’t think that anyone is impressed with your dancing skills if that is the only move you know. BET UnCut has been cancelled so your ass cant get a job in a music video. Except for maybe an Akon video.

Good god, if it wasn’t for T-Pain he would be the king of all ugly. Since when is sexually accosting a chair dancing? WHEN?! Who in the fuck let this happen?! Remember back when Bobby Brown, Oaktown 357 and Janet Jackson actually danced? Even now, Janet is the best DANCER of any female (and to a certain extent male) artist out. Dancing has now become Caligula to a pop beat. Oh, back to the booty shaking issue. I guess my main issue is the fact that people are trying to legitimize this as a movement for women with curves. Well, I am all for curvy women (I hate skinny bitches except Mandy Moore)but I am against stupidity.

Women saying that shaking it like you are trying to break it is empowering is like those that say taking bitch back takes away its power. No, it’s not ‘porch monkey’ peeps. Shaking your ass like they do in the videos isn’t vindication. It’s slutty. What is even worse is that much like thongs, women think that just because they are women that they have the ability (or right) to do the dance. Well, I have the RIGHT to wear a wifebeater shirt as clothing. However, I know it isn’t an article of clothing and I respect my fellow human being (too much in my opinion since they don’t respect their fucking selves) enough to not wear one outside without covering it. Remember, it is an UNDERSHIRT. If you don’t have rhythm or an ass, don’t do the dance. If you have rhythm and an ass, do the dance but don’t expect to see someone look at you as more than an object. Because by doing the dance, you objectify the area and then become faceless. So you are objectifying YOURSELF and if a man stares (or records and posts on YouTube which seems to be the thing as of late) at your ass then it is your own fault and you lose the right to be upset. That peeps is logic. Consider it my Christmas gift to you. Oh, and wearing any kind of writing on your ass draws attention. Do you look at billboards? Use the same logic.

My next rant will be on…

THUGS!

Yeah, they have had it coming for a while. Until then, enjoy your Christmas Day! Even the Jews….


Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, Peeps!