Okay, there is a blizzard outside but it is HOT RIGHT HERE! So let’s get started because it is time for the…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let’s start with a long running video looking at its last week!
20. Joe Inoue – Closer (Last Week #17)
We begin this week with what looks like the last week of Joe Inoue! I am wondering exactly where exactly he goes from here because I needs me a new video.
19. Dev Parade – Bachikoi!! (New Entry)
HELLS YEAH! I have been waiting for this video for a long ass time! Dev Parade is a group I really didn’t pay attention to…UNTIL THEY BROUGHT IT! This song kicks ass, the video has FUCKING PARA PARA and it made Naruto tolerable. For a while, anyway. BRING IT!
18. Namie Amuro - WILD (Last Week #20)
Miss Namie moves up a subtle two spots this week. You know, she is always around in some way shape or form recently. There was like…a year where I thought she fell off the face of the earth.
17. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #15, One Week at #1)
RSP x BGB are STILL HANGING ON! My god, these guys really don’t want to give up. They have been on since NOVEMBER, man! But it IS Tha Bubblegum Brothers so…yeah, it’s worth it.
16. NERD – Sooner or Later (Last Week #13)
NERD falls three spots this week as we wonder when it will all come falling down. Or when Mystikal gets out of prison. SHAKE YA ASS! I like that song.
15. YA-KYIM respects SEAMO - SA IKOU! (Last Week #12, Two Weeks at #1)
YA-KYIM falls this week as well as their first quarter dominance has come to an end. It is an interesting question of when am I going to get more from them because a year like this doesn’t come along very often.
14. Jesse McCartney featuring Ludacris – How Do You Sleep (Last Week #16)
J-Mac and Luda move up this week as Jesse continues his bid to fill the void of Justin Timberlake and Rain. Big shoes to fill, homie. But keep on trying.
13. BoA featuring Sean Garrett – I Did It For Love (Last Week #18, Biggest Mover)
Yeah, you know it. I STILL HAVENT FOUND A FULL VERSION OF THIS VIDEO YET AND IT IS PISSING ME OFF! I needs me my BoA! And I can’t find the album either! Pissing me off!
12. B.o.B. – I’ll Be In The Sky (Last Week #10)
Well, it looks like B.o.B. has officially changed his name to Bobby Ray. Well…welcome to country music because with a name like that…it’s where you are heading.
11. Hikaru Utada – Come Back To Me (Last Week #14)
So Hikaru Utada…with all her awesomeness and blatant hawtness…has never been in the Top 10. Looks like that is about to change because she moves up three big spots this week. My baby boo!
10. BoA - Eien (Last Week #7)
We begin the upper echelon with BoA falling three spots. You know, in this short year she has had three videos on the Countdown and a pretty good album. I will give a full review at some point because I have some things I am upset about with it.
9. Lil Wayne – Prom Queen (Last Week #11)
Young Weezy is in the Top 10 on his own! He made it up here with Game last year but he brings his rock effort this week. I am kind of looking forward to it now but…is he on EVERY-DAMN-SONG OUT THERE? The answer is yes.
8. Jesse McCartney – It’s Over (Last Week #6)
J-Mac falls two spots this week and looks to be having a pretty good 2009. He came within a hair of taking the top spot a few weeks ago and has a new video moving up. That’ll do, J-Mac.
7. Abingdon Boys School - STRENGTH (Last Week #9)
ABS moves up this week as they look to recapture the the glory of “HOWLING” in 2006. Can TM bring ABS back to the top of the Countdown?
6. UVERworld – 99/100 Damashi no Tetsu (Last Week #4)
UVERworld falls two big spots this week after once again falling short of taking the top spot. One has to wonder now when this streak will ever end. Been a while since they ran the ship.
5. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #8)
We are into the Top Five and we have a newcomer! Shion Tsuji moves up three big spots and continues the trend of Bleach themes near the top. I am beginning to put this song up there with some of my favorite Bleach endings (Including “Thank You” by Home Made Kazoku) which is quite a feat. Can she keep up the success?
4. BACK-ON – flyaway (Last Week #2, Two Weeks at #1)
After two weeks on top and looking like they may move back, BACK-ON falls back two spots this week. I am really looking forward to their next single because I really dug their last album. I hope its like “Flower.” We are down to three!
3. John Legend – Everybody Knows (Last Week #1, One Week at #1)
In a shocker, John Legend falls after only one week on top! This makes the second straight time he hasn’t been able to hold on to the number one spot. Is he losing his edge? Nah, don’t believe the hype.
2. T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake – Dead and Gone (Last Week #3)
T.I. and J-Tim are back in the runner up spot! Two years ago they hit number two for two weeks but were unable to take the top spot. Can they do it this time around? We will have to see because this week we have a new number one video!
1. Yuna Ito – Trust You (Last Week #5, One Week at #1)
Yuna Ito is back on top! After almost TWO YEARS, Yuna Ito recaptures her throne. She hops up a huge four spots this week to take over from BACK-ON. I LOVE THIS VIDEO AND I LOVE YUNA ITO. That is all you need to know.
That is all for this Friday! Tune in next week to see of Yuna Ito can make it two straight weeks on top! Or will T.I. and Justin be the new dynamic duo on top? Or will John Legend rebound to get his swagger back? See you in seven to find out!
Well, I will be heading up to Animeland Wasabi in a bit despite the shitty weather. I will have pics up and a slideshow on Sunday. Anyone down to ride can BRING IT! Stay up, ya'll. I will have updates over the weekend.
Chachi Out.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Man, This Was A Scary Week...
Once again it is about that time! It is time for…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with the return of a star after almost two years of waiting!
20. Namie Amuro - WILD (New Entry)
We begin this week with the return of Namie Amuro! It has been a while since she has been on here (She had a short stint with “Funky Town” in 2006) and it is good to see her back with a little bit of dancing. Although I still think she is a tad bit robotic, I can’t deny the song is catchy as hell.
19. YA-KYIM respects KOME KOME CLUB – Kimi Ga Iru Dake De (Last Week #16, Four Weeks at #1)It looks like my baby boos are about to fall off! They have been on here for a LOOOOONG time and it will be a shame to see them go. Still love this video.
18. BoA featuring Sean Garrett – I Did It For Love (New Entry)
HELLS YES! Now I feel bad because I have yet to see the full version of this video. But let’s face it…a minute and a half of BoA is better than anything else I will see all year so I am fine with it. She brings along Sean Garrett who I don’t have anything against but it is all about BoA right now. AND BUY THE ALBUM! If you can find it, I mean…
17. Joe Inoue – Closer (Last Week #15)
You know, Joe Inoue has been on the Countdown just as long as YA-KYIM has? I know, I am shocked too! But he is still hanging on, moving down two spots this week.
16. Jesse McCartney featuring Ludacris – How Do You Sleep (Last Week #19)
J-Mac and Luda move up three big spots this week. Its hard to believe that this is Ludacris’s first time ever on the Countdown. I thought I liked him more.
15. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #13, One Week at #1)
RSP x BGB is still hanging on! They fall two spots this week and as of right now are the longest running artists on the Countdown ever! They just passed Yuna Ito’s “I’m Here” and I have to say that is a big accomplishment.
14. Hikaru Utada – Come Back To Me Last Week #17)
Miss Utada is moving on up this week! She moves up three spots this week as I find out her English album isnt due out until fricking MAY. Aint that bout a bitch?
13. NERD – Sooner or Later (Last Week #11)
Pharrell and Co. move down two spots this week. We don’t see enough of these guys lately. After being everywhere for about two years I mean.
12. YA-KYIM respects SEAMO - SA IKOU! (Last Week #9, Two Weeks at #1)
YA-KYIM’s second video finally falls from the Top 10 this week as we move on. It has already been a huge year for these ladies…and it’s only MARCH. I am hoping they get more stuff out to me soon or I will go thorugh withdeawl.
11. Lil Wayne – Prom Queen (Last Week #14)
Weezy moves up three spots this week as he has once again pushed back his rock album. I believe it has been pushed out to June but I could be wrong about that. This song is really growing on me and although I am not home enough to see the video I like what I have seen so far.
10. B.o.B. – I’ll Be In The Sky (Last Week #6)
B.o.B. falls four huge spots this week as we begin the Top Ten! I think 2009 is going to be a big year for this guy as long as we don’t have more 50 Cent dumbfuckery. Which…we will.
9. Abingdon Boys School - STRENGTH (Last Week #12)
ABS is back in the Top Ten! TM leads his crew up three spots this wee and I am PRAYING that this gives us a new album by November. ABS vs. UVERworld for Album of the Year? SIGN ME UP!
8. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #10)
NO! More filler for Bleach after the Pendulum Arc? GOD DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!
7. BoA - Eien (Last Week #7)
BoA stalls a spot this week at number seven with the debut of her latest video and of course her BAD ASS ALBUM! Full review on Sunday.
6. Jesse McCartney – It’s Over (Last Week #4)
J-Mac falls two spots this week as he fell just short from the top spot two weeks ago. He has a new video and a re-release of his last album in stores now. Pick it up!
5. Yuna Ito – Trust You (Last Week #8)
Miss Ito is back! She moves into the Top Five for the first time in over a year with her latest video. I do have to say…I loves me some Yuna Ito. If you don’t know then you don’t know me and I am hurt.
4. UVERworld – 99/100 Damashi no Tetsu (Last Week #3)
The World falls back one spot this week as we inch closer to the top. It has been a huge year album wise for UVERworld as they have released their best album since Timeless after two lackluster efforts. The rock is back! We are down to three…
3. T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake – Dead and Gone (Last Week #5)
T.I. and J-Tim are back together in the Top Three! They move up two big spots this week at T.I. looks for his FIFTH number one video! Can he make it happen? His job just got easier because we have a new champ!
2. BACK-ON – flyaway (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
BACK-ON falls from the top spot after two weeks of holding it down! It has been a great run as they achieved their first number one video but all good things must end sometime. Great job guys but we have a new reigning king!
1. John Legend – Everybody Knows (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
A LEGENDARY KING! John Legend is back on top! This is his second number one video from his album Evolver and I have to say that it may not be as good as Once Again but it has its moments. This video being one of them. This also gives him his fifth number one video to boot! Hells yeah!
Well, that is all for this Friday! Tune in next week to see if John Legend can make it two weeks on top! Or if BACK-ON can get back on their throne and make it three weeks? Or will T.I. and J-Tim finally take the championship as a duo? See you in seven to find out!
Well, I think I have dinner tonight with Zach (Who is leaving for Japan for a year this week. Big ups, homie!) and then maybe Sodo’s depending on how I am feeling. Until next time, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with the return of a star after almost two years of waiting!
20. Namie Amuro - WILD (New Entry)
We begin this week with the return of Namie Amuro! It has been a while since she has been on here (She had a short stint with “Funky Town” in 2006) and it is good to see her back with a little bit of dancing. Although I still think she is a tad bit robotic, I can’t deny the song is catchy as hell.
19. YA-KYIM respects KOME KOME CLUB – Kimi Ga Iru Dake De (Last Week #16, Four Weeks at #1)It looks like my baby boos are about to fall off! They have been on here for a LOOOOONG time and it will be a shame to see them go. Still love this video.
18. BoA featuring Sean Garrett – I Did It For Love (New Entry)
HELLS YES! Now I feel bad because I have yet to see the full version of this video. But let’s face it…a minute and a half of BoA is better than anything else I will see all year so I am fine with it. She brings along Sean Garrett who I don’t have anything against but it is all about BoA right now. AND BUY THE ALBUM! If you can find it, I mean…
17. Joe Inoue – Closer (Last Week #15)
You know, Joe Inoue has been on the Countdown just as long as YA-KYIM has? I know, I am shocked too! But he is still hanging on, moving down two spots this week.
16. Jesse McCartney featuring Ludacris – How Do You Sleep (Last Week #19)
J-Mac and Luda move up three big spots this week. Its hard to believe that this is Ludacris’s first time ever on the Countdown. I thought I liked him more.
15. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #13, One Week at #1)
RSP x BGB is still hanging on! They fall two spots this week and as of right now are the longest running artists on the Countdown ever! They just passed Yuna Ito’s “I’m Here” and I have to say that is a big accomplishment.
14. Hikaru Utada – Come Back To Me Last Week #17)
Miss Utada is moving on up this week! She moves up three spots this week as I find out her English album isnt due out until fricking MAY. Aint that bout a bitch?
13. NERD – Sooner or Later (Last Week #11)
Pharrell and Co. move down two spots this week. We don’t see enough of these guys lately. After being everywhere for about two years I mean.
12. YA-KYIM respects SEAMO - SA IKOU! (Last Week #9, Two Weeks at #1)
YA-KYIM’s second video finally falls from the Top 10 this week as we move on. It has already been a huge year for these ladies…and it’s only MARCH. I am hoping they get more stuff out to me soon or I will go thorugh withdeawl.
11. Lil Wayne – Prom Queen (Last Week #14)
Weezy moves up three spots this week as he has once again pushed back his rock album. I believe it has been pushed out to June but I could be wrong about that. This song is really growing on me and although I am not home enough to see the video I like what I have seen so far.
10. B.o.B. – I’ll Be In The Sky (Last Week #6)
B.o.B. falls four huge spots this week as we begin the Top Ten! I think 2009 is going to be a big year for this guy as long as we don’t have more 50 Cent dumbfuckery. Which…we will.
9. Abingdon Boys School - STRENGTH (Last Week #12)
ABS is back in the Top Ten! TM leads his crew up three spots this wee and I am PRAYING that this gives us a new album by November. ABS vs. UVERworld for Album of the Year? SIGN ME UP!
8. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #10)
NO! More filler for Bleach after the Pendulum Arc? GOD DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!
7. BoA - Eien (Last Week #7)
BoA stalls a spot this week at number seven with the debut of her latest video and of course her BAD ASS ALBUM! Full review on Sunday.
6. Jesse McCartney – It’s Over (Last Week #4)
J-Mac falls two spots this week as he fell just short from the top spot two weeks ago. He has a new video and a re-release of his last album in stores now. Pick it up!
5. Yuna Ito – Trust You (Last Week #8)
Miss Ito is back! She moves into the Top Five for the first time in over a year with her latest video. I do have to say…I loves me some Yuna Ito. If you don’t know then you don’t know me and I am hurt.
4. UVERworld – 99/100 Damashi no Tetsu (Last Week #3)
The World falls back one spot this week as we inch closer to the top. It has been a huge year album wise for UVERworld as they have released their best album since Timeless after two lackluster efforts. The rock is back! We are down to three…
3. T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake – Dead and Gone (Last Week #5)
T.I. and J-Tim are back together in the Top Three! They move up two big spots this week at T.I. looks for his FIFTH number one video! Can he make it happen? His job just got easier because we have a new champ!
2. BACK-ON – flyaway (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
BACK-ON falls from the top spot after two weeks of holding it down! It has been a great run as they achieved their first number one video but all good things must end sometime. Great job guys but we have a new reigning king!
1. John Legend – Everybody Knows (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
A LEGENDARY KING! John Legend is back on top! This is his second number one video from his album Evolver and I have to say that it may not be as good as Once Again but it has its moments. This video being one of them. This also gives him his fifth number one video to boot! Hells yeah!
Well, that is all for this Friday! Tune in next week to see if John Legend can make it two weeks on top! Or if BACK-ON can get back on their throne and make it three weeks? Or will T.I. and J-Tim finally take the championship as a duo? See you in seven to find out!
Well, I think I have dinner tonight with Zach (Who is leaving for Japan for a year this week. Big ups, homie!) and then maybe Sodo’s depending on how I am feeling. Until next time, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
We Are A First World Country And Yet We Still Cut People For Surgery? BULLSHIT, SCIENCE SUCKS ASS.
What is up, peeps? I am back for a quick Tuesday update (Don’t ask why. I’m random like that) and for the last three years I have always had a post about new vernacular I was going to bring to the forefront every year. Now some got jacked (Like Downey. I want to slap the motherfucker that said that at Mint last year) while some just never really caught on (F2T did, but not in the circles I wanted. I DON’T want to take a seat over there) but I think it is about time to bring it back for the 2009! Yeah, at some point I am going to do a post on the new Linguistics of 2009! That will be up sometime this week depending on what the doctors say on Wednesday. God, I don’t want to get cut up.
SHITFUCKCUNTASSBITCHWHORERICKROSSCOCKTITTAMPON!
Sorry, had to get that out. I fear surgery, no matter how minor and shit. Oh, and no more using the word “swag.” Seriously, just say “swagger” or shut the fuck up. Asshats.
AND BUY BOA’S ALBUM TOMORROW! I am just going to buy it on iTunes and get it over with. Odds are finding it around Denver is going to be a bitch and a half. Once I get it I will review it for the peeps. Until then, ya'll stay up. (Update: HOLY FUCKBALLS, BLOGGER DOES SPELL CHECK?! News to me!)
Chachi Out.
SHITFUCKCUNTASSBITCHWHORERICKROSSCOCKTITTAMPON!
Sorry, had to get that out. I fear surgery, no matter how minor and shit. Oh, and no more using the word “swag.” Seriously, just say “swagger” or shut the fuck up. Asshats.
AND BUY BOA’S ALBUM TOMORROW! I am just going to buy it on iTunes and get it over with. Odds are finding it around Denver is going to be a bitch and a half. Once I get it I will review it for the peeps. Until then, ya'll stay up. (Update: HOLY FUCKBALLS, BLOGGER DOES SPELL CHECK?! News to me!)
Chachi Out.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Wow...This Has A Chance To Be Epic...
So I just read this article on 411Mania:
It pretty much states:
Steve Austin (WWE) has joined the cast of Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables. Austin joins a cast that already includes Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler) as well as Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Forest Whitaker and Charisma Carpenter.
The film is about a team of mercenaries who attempt to overthrow a South American dictator.
Credit: Variety
Let me get this straight...
HE-MAN + THE RATTLESNAKE + THE TRANSPORTER + RANDY THE RAM + GHOST DOG + THE DUDE FROM FEARLESS + THE CHICK FROM BUFFY THAT WASNT BUFFY OR WILLOW + JUDGE DREDD?!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT SIGN ME UP RIGHT NOW OR ELSE!
I will get in line for the tickets on Monday. WHO IS COMING WITH ME?!
Chachi Out
It pretty much states:
Steve Austin (WWE) has joined the cast of Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables. Austin joins a cast that already includes Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler) as well as Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Forest Whitaker and Charisma Carpenter.
The film is about a team of mercenaries who attempt to overthrow a South American dictator.
Credit: Variety
Let me get this straight...
HE-MAN + THE RATTLESNAKE + THE TRANSPORTER + RANDY THE RAM + GHOST DOG + THE DUDE FROM FEARLESS + THE CHICK FROM BUFFY THAT WASNT BUFFY OR WILLOW + JUDGE DREDD?!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT SIGN ME UP RIGHT NOW OR ELSE!
I will get in line for the tickets on Monday. WHO IS COMING WITH ME?!
Chachi Out
Friday, March 13, 2009
Well, Everything Looks Up From The Bottom I Guess. Sweet!
Well, after a pretty jacked up week I am back on the scene for the Friday staple! I give to you…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Young Jeezy and Nas are no longer with us, so let’s get started with a video that looks to be on its way out as well!
20. Kanye West – Heartless (Last Week #17)
Looks like Mr. West’s run of 5 months with a video on the Countdown is looking to end this week. Great run for him despite his reportedly HORRIBLE performance on American Idol which I didn’t watch because I haven’t watched in like three seasons.
19. Jesse McCartney featuring Ludacris – How Do You Sleep (New Entry)
J-Mac is back! Jesse McCartney brings Luda on the Countdown for the first time with his latest! This video reminds me of that commercial for Rock Band minus the frat boy feel. You know what I mean, people.
18. Aqua Timez - Velonica (Last Week # 16)
NEW AQUA TIMEZ ALBUM! GET IT NOW OR DIE, BITCHES!
17. Hikaru Utada – Come Back To Me Last Week #20)
With BoA’s English album coming next Tuesday (PRE-ORDER, BITCHES!) Miss Utada needs to hurry up and give me something more. Although I am all about this video right now (Just got it on the phone, fool!) you need to give me something to get ready for! I demand it!
16. YA-KYIM respects KOME KOME CLUB – Kimi Ga Iru Dake De (Last Week #15, Four Weeks at #1)
YA-KYIM falls one spot this week and seems to be gaining some reverse momentum and maybe even moving back up. Could we see a return to greatness?
15. Joe Inoue – Closer (Last Week #13)
Joe falls two spots and I wonder where exactly this guy came from? Catching tune and his second video is pretty good too. Just curious.
14. Lil Wayne – Prom Queen (Last Week #18)
Young Weezy moves up four big spots this week as I await his rock album later on this Spring. I like the fact that hip hop artists are branching out even though some of you are being asshats about it. You know who you are.
13. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #10, One Week at #1)
RSP falls from the Top 10 this week as they look to hold on and be the longest running video on the Countdown’s history. They are three weeks short, let’s see if they can hold on! Vote or die!
12. Abingdon Boys School - STRENGTH (Last Week #14)
ABS is slowly moving up this week as they look to return to J-Rock greatness. Could this possibly mean…another Abingdon Boys School album in 2009. I just came hard.
11. NERD – Sooner or Later (Last Week #7)
NERD falls four huge spots this week as they failed to take the top spot a few weeks back. Remember when you heard a Neptunes beat every two minutes? Those days are over! I kind of miss the “bing-boop” sounds.
10. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #11)
We are in the Top 10 and start with Shion Tsuji! She moves up one spot with the ending to Bleach and all I have to say is that seeing the Pendulum Arc in animated form is AWESOME. The manga is beginning to drag with the Ichigo fight but I think it ends at 361 (Confirm? Anyone?) so it should wrap up soon.
9. YA-KYIM respects SEAMO - SA IKOU! (Last Week #3, Two Weeks at #1)[Plunge of the Week]
YA-KYIM is back again and they fall a HUGE six spots this week out of the Top Three. Big year for these young ladies and I have to say if I don’t get more from them I may have to flip the hell out.
8. Yuna Ito – Trust You (Last Week #12)
MY BABY BOO IS BACK! For the fourth time, Yuna Ito has entered the Top Ten! It has been over two years since she hit number one with “I’m Here” but this video looks like it could end the streak. Nothing like a kick ass ballad to pass the time.
7. BoA - Eien (Last Week #8)
MARCH 17TH YOU BETTER PICK UP HER DAMN ALBUM OR I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE CUNT! OR PENIS! That is all. Oh, and she moves up a spot.
6. B.o.B. – I’ll Be In The Sky (Last Week #4)
After making it into the sky, B.o.B. looks to be falling from it. He falls two big spots after looking like he hit his peak. Hopefully we will have something new from him soon.
5. T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake – Dead and Gone (Last Week #9)
T.I. and J-Tim are back again in the Top Five! They dynamic duo tie with Lil Wayne and Yuna Ito for the biggest moves this week as they jump four spots. T.I. goes into the pen in like two weeks but can he hit number one before he gets on lockdown?
4. Jesse McCartney – It’s Over (Last Week #2)
With a new video debuting this week, he shouldn’t feel too bad but J-Mac falls from the runner up spot this week. He has been on the Countdown for quite a while and it was bound to happen but it is still a shock. But we are down to three! Including two legends of the Countdown!
3. UVERworld – 99/100 Damashi no Tetsu (Last Week #6)
AAAWWW SNAP! The World is back in the Top Three! Their latest video is in the bronze medal spot after hopping up three spots and they are right behind a certain someone that they have battled several times over the last three years…
2. John Legend – Everybody Knows (Last Week #5)
…and his name is John Legend! He now has his record breaking SEVENTH Top Three video and he is looking to get his fifth number one video to boot! However, UVERworld is back on his heels and to get the top he has to knock off the reigning champ!
1. BACK-ON – flyaway (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
The upstarts of BACK-ON hold on to number one for the second straight week! They held off John Legend and UVERworld for at least a week and that is something to be VERY proud of. I have been listening to this song all week, especially after the horrible Wednesday I had. Great song and great video.
Well, that is all for this week! Tune in next Friday to see of BACK-ON can continue to hold off the lions for a third week in a row! Or can John Legend capture his elusive fifth number one video? Will UVERworld capture their fourth number one and hold off John Legend? See you in seven to find out!
Well, I have to go back to the clinic for more work and more antibiotics today so wish me luck. After that, I may go out but odds are I won’t because I am not supposed to be drinking with them in my system so more than likely I will pick up Resident Evil 5 and play that this weekend while my wound evacuates. I really, really am hating everything right now. Peace, ya’ll.
Chachi Out.
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Young Jeezy and Nas are no longer with us, so let’s get started with a video that looks to be on its way out as well!
20. Kanye West – Heartless (Last Week #17)
Looks like Mr. West’s run of 5 months with a video on the Countdown is looking to end this week. Great run for him despite his reportedly HORRIBLE performance on American Idol which I didn’t watch because I haven’t watched in like three seasons.
19. Jesse McCartney featuring Ludacris – How Do You Sleep (New Entry)
J-Mac is back! Jesse McCartney brings Luda on the Countdown for the first time with his latest! This video reminds me of that commercial for Rock Band minus the frat boy feel. You know what I mean, people.
18. Aqua Timez - Velonica (Last Week # 16)
NEW AQUA TIMEZ ALBUM! GET IT NOW OR DIE, BITCHES!
17. Hikaru Utada – Come Back To Me Last Week #20)
With BoA’s English album coming next Tuesday (PRE-ORDER, BITCHES!) Miss Utada needs to hurry up and give me something more. Although I am all about this video right now (Just got it on the phone, fool!) you need to give me something to get ready for! I demand it!
16. YA-KYIM respects KOME KOME CLUB – Kimi Ga Iru Dake De (Last Week #15, Four Weeks at #1)
YA-KYIM falls one spot this week and seems to be gaining some reverse momentum and maybe even moving back up. Could we see a return to greatness?
15. Joe Inoue – Closer (Last Week #13)
Joe falls two spots and I wonder where exactly this guy came from? Catching tune and his second video is pretty good too. Just curious.
14. Lil Wayne – Prom Queen (Last Week #18)
Young Weezy moves up four big spots this week as I await his rock album later on this Spring. I like the fact that hip hop artists are branching out even though some of you are being asshats about it. You know who you are.
13. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #10, One Week at #1)
RSP falls from the Top 10 this week as they look to hold on and be the longest running video on the Countdown’s history. They are three weeks short, let’s see if they can hold on! Vote or die!
12. Abingdon Boys School - STRENGTH (Last Week #14)
ABS is slowly moving up this week as they look to return to J-Rock greatness. Could this possibly mean…another Abingdon Boys School album in 2009. I just came hard.
11. NERD – Sooner or Later (Last Week #7)
NERD falls four huge spots this week as they failed to take the top spot a few weeks back. Remember when you heard a Neptunes beat every two minutes? Those days are over! I kind of miss the “bing-boop” sounds.
10. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #11)
We are in the Top 10 and start with Shion Tsuji! She moves up one spot with the ending to Bleach and all I have to say is that seeing the Pendulum Arc in animated form is AWESOME. The manga is beginning to drag with the Ichigo fight but I think it ends at 361 (Confirm? Anyone?) so it should wrap up soon.
9. YA-KYIM respects SEAMO - SA IKOU! (Last Week #3, Two Weeks at #1)[Plunge of the Week]
YA-KYIM is back again and they fall a HUGE six spots this week out of the Top Three. Big year for these young ladies and I have to say if I don’t get more from them I may have to flip the hell out.
8. Yuna Ito – Trust You (Last Week #12)
Watch more Dailymotion videos on AOL Video
MY BABY BOO IS BACK! For the fourth time, Yuna Ito has entered the Top Ten! It has been over two years since she hit number one with “I’m Here” but this video looks like it could end the streak. Nothing like a kick ass ballad to pass the time.
7. BoA - Eien (Last Week #8)
MARCH 17TH YOU BETTER PICK UP HER DAMN ALBUM OR I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE CUNT! OR PENIS! That is all. Oh, and she moves up a spot.
6. B.o.B. – I’ll Be In The Sky (Last Week #4)
After making it into the sky, B.o.B. looks to be falling from it. He falls two big spots after looking like he hit his peak. Hopefully we will have something new from him soon.
5. T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake – Dead and Gone (Last Week #9)
T.I. and J-Tim are back again in the Top Five! They dynamic duo tie with Lil Wayne and Yuna Ito for the biggest moves this week as they jump four spots. T.I. goes into the pen in like two weeks but can he hit number one before he gets on lockdown?
4. Jesse McCartney – It’s Over (Last Week #2)
With a new video debuting this week, he shouldn’t feel too bad but J-Mac falls from the runner up spot this week. He has been on the Countdown for quite a while and it was bound to happen but it is still a shock. But we are down to three! Including two legends of the Countdown!
3. UVERworld – 99/100 Damashi no Tetsu (Last Week #6)
AAAWWW SNAP! The World is back in the Top Three! Their latest video is in the bronze medal spot after hopping up three spots and they are right behind a certain someone that they have battled several times over the last three years…
2. John Legend – Everybody Knows (Last Week #5)
…and his name is John Legend! He now has his record breaking SEVENTH Top Three video and he is looking to get his fifth number one video to boot! However, UVERworld is back on his heels and to get the top he has to knock off the reigning champ!
1. BACK-ON – flyaway (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
The upstarts of BACK-ON hold on to number one for the second straight week! They held off John Legend and UVERworld for at least a week and that is something to be VERY proud of. I have been listening to this song all week, especially after the horrible Wednesday I had. Great song and great video.
Well, that is all for this week! Tune in next Friday to see of BACK-ON can continue to hold off the lions for a third week in a row! Or can John Legend capture his elusive fifth number one video? Will UVERworld capture their fourth number one and hold off John Legend? See you in seven to find out!
Well, I have to go back to the clinic for more work and more antibiotics today so wish me luck. After that, I may go out but odds are I won’t because I am not supposed to be drinking with them in my system so more than likely I will pick up Resident Evil 5 and play that this weekend while my wound evacuates. I really, really am hating everything right now. Peace, ya’ll.
Chachi Out.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Men: Making Me Hate Being A Man Since...When Was The First UFC?
So Joey Joe Joe Shabadoo showed me an article today…and I think if my boil hadn’t ALREADY ruptured, it would have after reading this shit:
8 Things Guys Say They Hate about Women But Secretly Love
Man…I am so about to have fun with THIS SHIT.
"I hate when my girlfriend works late, but I secretly love how motivated she is and how much she cares about everything she does."
—Alex, 24
Okay, first off woman should not work! Unless work involve mouth love or cooking! Okay, I kid about that but seriously. A while back I posted a rant about this same statement except if it was a MAN staying late and working hard then either he:
1. Isn’t paying enough attention to you and you should leave his ass
2. He is spending time away to be with another woman at work and you should leave his ass
3. His job is more important to him than you so you should leave his ass
Now don’t get me wrong, all of those are valid arguments if you are an attention whore or a moron. However, the fact is that there is nothing wrong with working long hours whether you are male or a female as long as the other partner is okay with it and it doesn’t hamper the relationship. Fuck motivation, women only care about themselves as do EVERYONE ELSE. Aint nothing wrong with that, either. The only selfless person on Earth is Peter Parker and it took him losing his uncle to his own douchery to make that happen. Think about that for a moment. Anyway, this quote is obviously from a fucktard.
"I tell her I hate it when she whines, but it's actually cute. It makes me feel needed and important and manly — like I can provide for her and that will stop her whining. I should add that it's a once-in-a-while pleasure."
—Matt, 27
Um…is it just me or is that a slight BURN? I mean my providing for her will stop her whining? That could be seen as a nice thing but at the end of the day should she be whining to start off with? There is a big difference between whining and legitimate concerns. You provide resolutions for legitimate concerns. You ignore the shit out of whining. Homie needs to learn the difference or he will end up…well, like me. You don’t want that!
"I would be bummed out if she canceled her Us Weekly subscription. I hate having to see Spencer Pratt's ugly mug all the time, but it turns out to be the perfect magazine to read in the bathroom."
—Scott, 33
….FUCK NO. Personally, I either read manga or Wizard Magazine in the bathroom but that is just me. Shows my interest and my geekdom. But this dude sucks and needs to be shot because WHAT IN THE FUCK IS A SPENCER PRATT?
"I'm around a lot of women who are very worried. It seems as if everything you do is followed by a question: Why did you do that? Are you all right? You sure you're not hungry? I always talk about how I hate these incessant questions, but I know deep down if they stopped I would feel less important. It's good to know that people care about you enough to ask those questions, even though they might be annoying."
—Ben, 25
First off, women don’t care about you. They care that you THINK that they care about you. Really put that line in motion and think about it and you will understand and if you didn’t already know it will BLOW YOUR MIND. That and much like cats, they know that in some way shape or form you are their provider whether it be of food, attention or changing of the litter box (Although I am not sure women are too keen on pooping in a box because ladies don’t poop! Amirite, ladies?) so they HAVE to let you pet them or show you some attention to act like they give a shit. But in the end, a cat would sell you out for a squeak toy and some salmon if they knew it would always be there. Just like a woman will leave you if she sees a bigger and better deal. Nothing wrong with that at all; I know I would. That’s because I am a golddigger. Can’t be hanging with no broke bitches:
Oh, I say it and I’m an asshole. WHATEVA, BITCH…I needs to get paid.
"I always complain about how my girlfriend expects me to do all of the 'man stuff' around the house, like replacing light bulbs and taking out the trash, but I secretly like it."
—Mat, 25
See, this is the crap I am talking about when I say women and men are both fucking idiots. Doing things around the house isn’t “man’s work” or “wo-man’s work.” IT IS JUST FUCKING WORK. Maybe I am looking at this wrong and that is why every relationship I have had has crashed and burned like the Saudi Arabian pilots (Too soon? Naaaaaah!) but I honestly think that roles in a relationship should be done by whose qualified, not by who is gender specific. Just me, I guess.
"I would be bummed if my girlfriend stopped planning out our evenings several days in advance. It makes it easy for me because I don't have to plan anything, but it is annoying sometimes how organized a person can be."
—Brian, 24
WHAT ARE YOU, TEN?! Now I have noticed that I stopped making plans because the things I like to do (Go to the theater, museums and the whatnot) are areas of entertainment usually frequented by gay men and older women which…is why my life has become increasingly rougher from 24 until now. But thems the breaks. This guy reminds me of an old man that calls his wife “mom” and has her lay out his clothes and pills. Don’t be that man, peeps. Be Chris Brown for all I care, but DON’T BE THAT MAN.
"My girlfriend has a tendency of stating the obvious. What I mean is that she will tell me to do something that I am clearly either in the process of doing or going to do. See, you girls always assume that we are eventually going to screw up and do something stupid, so you feel obliged to remind us at every opportunity.
It drives me nuts, but I guarantee that the moment she stops paying attention to what I'm doing or to if I'm doing it the way it should be done, I start feeling like she just doesn't care! So after a grunt or two, I go and fetch her to ask her opinion. Go figure!"
—James, 25
Yeah, this will get you popped in your whore mouth! With this, I am not joking. Women screw up a hell of a lot more than men it’s just men’s screw ups are a lot more publicized. A woman screw up is being dumb enough to get knocked up by her jump off. A man’s screw up is…the Holocaust. Come on, that shit is funny!
In all seriousness, I don’t get how this can be seen as “cute” or anything other than annoying. If I ever ask anyone about their opinion about anything you know either I am drunk or on the verge of death because I could give a fuck what anyone thinks that aint my mom, my dog or David Motherfucking Bowie. Not even in that damn order. If I have learned nothing in my days on this Earth, I have learned that you ain’t trying to help Ike with all that talking. Now shut up and put some stank on it!
"I hate when my girlfriend watches shows like The Hills and The City, but recently I find myself secretly loving Monday TV nights."
—Jake, 26
Fuck you. Monday Nights are made for one thing and one thing only: RANDY MOTHERFUCKING ORTON!
If you watch anything else on Monday Night aside from Randy Orton punting a McMahon in the head a week, you are wasting your time. That is all.
Countdown up tomorrow. Then more fricking time at the doctor’s office. All worth it, though.
Chachi Out
8 Things Guys Say They Hate about Women But Secretly Love
Man…I am so about to have fun with THIS SHIT.
"I hate when my girlfriend works late, but I secretly love how motivated she is and how much she cares about everything she does."
—Alex, 24
Okay, first off woman should not work! Unless work involve mouth love or cooking! Okay, I kid about that but seriously. A while back I posted a rant about this same statement except if it was a MAN staying late and working hard then either he:
1. Isn’t paying enough attention to you and you should leave his ass
2. He is spending time away to be with another woman at work and you should leave his ass
3. His job is more important to him than you so you should leave his ass
Now don’t get me wrong, all of those are valid arguments if you are an attention whore or a moron. However, the fact is that there is nothing wrong with working long hours whether you are male or a female as long as the other partner is okay with it and it doesn’t hamper the relationship. Fuck motivation, women only care about themselves as do EVERYONE ELSE. Aint nothing wrong with that, either. The only selfless person on Earth is Peter Parker and it took him losing his uncle to his own douchery to make that happen. Think about that for a moment. Anyway, this quote is obviously from a fucktard.
"I tell her I hate it when she whines, but it's actually cute. It makes me feel needed and important and manly — like I can provide for her and that will stop her whining. I should add that it's a once-in-a-while pleasure."
—Matt, 27
Um…is it just me or is that a slight BURN? I mean my providing for her will stop her whining? That could be seen as a nice thing but at the end of the day should she be whining to start off with? There is a big difference between whining and legitimate concerns. You provide resolutions for legitimate concerns. You ignore the shit out of whining. Homie needs to learn the difference or he will end up…well, like me. You don’t want that!
"I would be bummed out if she canceled her Us Weekly subscription. I hate having to see Spencer Pratt's ugly mug all the time, but it turns out to be the perfect magazine to read in the bathroom."
—Scott, 33
….FUCK NO. Personally, I either read manga or Wizard Magazine in the bathroom but that is just me. Shows my interest and my geekdom. But this dude sucks and needs to be shot because WHAT IN THE FUCK IS A SPENCER PRATT?
"I'm around a lot of women who are very worried. It seems as if everything you do is followed by a question: Why did you do that? Are you all right? You sure you're not hungry? I always talk about how I hate these incessant questions, but I know deep down if they stopped I would feel less important. It's good to know that people care about you enough to ask those questions, even though they might be annoying."
—Ben, 25
First off, women don’t care about you. They care that you THINK that they care about you. Really put that line in motion and think about it and you will understand and if you didn’t already know it will BLOW YOUR MIND. That and much like cats, they know that in some way shape or form you are their provider whether it be of food, attention or changing of the litter box (Although I am not sure women are too keen on pooping in a box because ladies don’t poop! Amirite, ladies?) so they HAVE to let you pet them or show you some attention to act like they give a shit. But in the end, a cat would sell you out for a squeak toy and some salmon if they knew it would always be there. Just like a woman will leave you if she sees a bigger and better deal. Nothing wrong with that at all; I know I would. That’s because I am a golddigger. Can’t be hanging with no broke bitches:
Oh, I say it and I’m an asshole. WHATEVA, BITCH…I needs to get paid.
"I always complain about how my girlfriend expects me to do all of the 'man stuff' around the house, like replacing light bulbs and taking out the trash, but I secretly like it."
—Mat, 25
See, this is the crap I am talking about when I say women and men are both fucking idiots. Doing things around the house isn’t “man’s work” or “wo-man’s work.” IT IS JUST FUCKING WORK. Maybe I am looking at this wrong and that is why every relationship I have had has crashed and burned like the Saudi Arabian pilots (Too soon? Naaaaaah!) but I honestly think that roles in a relationship should be done by whose qualified, not by who is gender specific. Just me, I guess.
"I would be bummed if my girlfriend stopped planning out our evenings several days in advance. It makes it easy for me because I don't have to plan anything, but it is annoying sometimes how organized a person can be."
—Brian, 24
WHAT ARE YOU, TEN?! Now I have noticed that I stopped making plans because the things I like to do (Go to the theater, museums and the whatnot) are areas of entertainment usually frequented by gay men and older women which…is why my life has become increasingly rougher from 24 until now. But thems the breaks. This guy reminds me of an old man that calls his wife “mom” and has her lay out his clothes and pills. Don’t be that man, peeps. Be Chris Brown for all I care, but DON’T BE THAT MAN.
"My girlfriend has a tendency of stating the obvious. What I mean is that she will tell me to do something that I am clearly either in the process of doing or going to do. See, you girls always assume that we are eventually going to screw up and do something stupid, so you feel obliged to remind us at every opportunity.
It drives me nuts, but I guarantee that the moment she stops paying attention to what I'm doing or to if I'm doing it the way it should be done, I start feeling like she just doesn't care! So after a grunt or two, I go and fetch her to ask her opinion. Go figure!"
—James, 25
Yeah, this will get you popped in your whore mouth! With this, I am not joking. Women screw up a hell of a lot more than men it’s just men’s screw ups are a lot more publicized. A woman screw up is being dumb enough to get knocked up by her jump off. A man’s screw up is…the Holocaust. Come on, that shit is funny!
In all seriousness, I don’t get how this can be seen as “cute” or anything other than annoying. If I ever ask anyone about their opinion about anything you know either I am drunk or on the verge of death because I could give a fuck what anyone thinks that aint my mom, my dog or David Motherfucking Bowie. Not even in that damn order. If I have learned nothing in my days on this Earth, I have learned that you ain’t trying to help Ike with all that talking. Now shut up and put some stank on it!
"I hate when my girlfriend watches shows like The Hills and The City, but recently I find myself secretly loving Monday TV nights."
—Jake, 26
Fuck you. Monday Nights are made for one thing and one thing only: RANDY MOTHERFUCKING ORTON!
If you watch anything else on Monday Night aside from Randy Orton punting a McMahon in the head a week, you are wasting your time. That is all.
Countdown up tomorrow. Then more fricking time at the doctor’s office. All worth it, though.
Chachi Out
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Today...I Finally Understood What It Meant To Be Emo.
What is up, peeps?! I am back for the first time in a few days and man…these few days have been a doozy. This was 10 times worse than the spider bite on my leg debacle. I think I was injected with the last of the G-Virus last night because a small bump under my arm grew an eye and began giving me orders to destroy Raccoon City. Yeah, IT WAS THAT FUCKING HUGE. So I went to the doctor and was told that it was a boil (FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!) and the area would have to be “evacuated” which meant “drained” which meant they were going to have to pop that mofo. That…is where the WORST DAY EVER BEGINS.
So as I am being prepped and the situation is being explained I am coming to grips with my utter and complete fear of hospitals. I mean a death fear, people. When I think hospitals I think zombies and other horrible acts. Name ONE GOOD THING that comes from hospitals? Those crazy fucking nurses from Silent Hill?:
Not I said the cat. So as that is going on I get my arm into position (Which hurt like hell because at that point this thing was the size of Snickers bar and I was NOT satisfied) and all of a sudden it stopped hurting. Now this is the point for the squimish people that you may just want to watch this video right now and leave. Something to NOT make you have nightmares:
You can leave now. That was kind of cute.
Well, I was relieved I had a momentary break in the earth-shattering pain that had been plaguing me since Monday when I looked over and realized WHY it had stopped hurting. My boil had FALCON PAWNCH!-ed itself from the damn inside:
I swear to the Wolven it looked like a scene from “You Can’t Do That On Television” and you people who have seen the show know what I mean and are just as disgusted as I am. My god…it was so damn horrible. I ruined a very good undershirt and one of my favorite casual shirts so I needless to say am kind of pissed off fashion wise but…that’s life. So the I laid on my side for about an hour as they tried to numb the area but the more they injected me…the more puss came out so it wouldn’t numb the area. So I got jabbed with a needle 13 times under my armpit today and I wont lie to you, it kind of sucked ass. Then the doctor cleaned out the wound (It was small and only needed a Band-Aid but after an ordeal like that…it was best to just go for the full Rain-X wash too) and gave me enough gauze to patch up Mick Foley after a Japanese Death Match (Look it up…or not if you want to hold down your lunch. But it has exploding tables because HE’S FUCKING HARDCORE!) which I think I am going to need because I have had to switch this bad boy already and it has only been four hours or so. So I have to go back Friday to see if the antibiotics ended up killing me (Which should be easy to tell…because I would be dead and all) and to get the cut checked on. Great people and a great job but…damn today was NOT FUN.
Well, that is all for now. I am probably going to curl up in the fetal position and cry for a while for the next few days but I will be back for the Countdown. Until then, PRE-ORDER BOA’S ENGLISH ALBUM RIGHT NOW! RIGHT THE HELL NOW!
Damn it, that song is catchy as all hell. Oh, and to Sarah Palin: join us in welcoming your daughter to BABYDADDY-VILLE!
Who dat is?! I’ll be back soon.
Chachi Out
So as I am being prepped and the situation is being explained I am coming to grips with my utter and complete fear of hospitals. I mean a death fear, people. When I think hospitals I think zombies and other horrible acts. Name ONE GOOD THING that comes from hospitals? Those crazy fucking nurses from Silent Hill?:
Not I said the cat. So as that is going on I get my arm into position (Which hurt like hell because at that point this thing was the size of Snickers bar and I was NOT satisfied) and all of a sudden it stopped hurting. Now this is the point for the squimish people that you may just want to watch this video right now and leave. Something to NOT make you have nightmares:
You can leave now. That was kind of cute.
Well, I was relieved I had a momentary break in the earth-shattering pain that had been plaguing me since Monday when I looked over and realized WHY it had stopped hurting. My boil had FALCON PAWNCH!-ed itself from the damn inside:
I swear to the Wolven it looked like a scene from “You Can’t Do That On Television” and you people who have seen the show know what I mean and are just as disgusted as I am. My god…it was so damn horrible. I ruined a very good undershirt and one of my favorite casual shirts so I needless to say am kind of pissed off fashion wise but…that’s life. So the I laid on my side for about an hour as they tried to numb the area but the more they injected me…the more puss came out so it wouldn’t numb the area. So I got jabbed with a needle 13 times under my armpit today and I wont lie to you, it kind of sucked ass. Then the doctor cleaned out the wound (It was small and only needed a Band-Aid but after an ordeal like that…it was best to just go for the full Rain-X wash too) and gave me enough gauze to patch up Mick Foley after a Japanese Death Match (Look it up…or not if you want to hold down your lunch. But it has exploding tables because HE’S FUCKING HARDCORE!) which I think I am going to need because I have had to switch this bad boy already and it has only been four hours or so. So I have to go back Friday to see if the antibiotics ended up killing me (Which should be easy to tell…because I would be dead and all) and to get the cut checked on. Great people and a great job but…damn today was NOT FUN.
Well, that is all for now. I am probably going to curl up in the fetal position and cry for a while for the next few days but I will be back for the Countdown. Until then, PRE-ORDER BOA’S ENGLISH ALBUM RIGHT NOW! RIGHT THE HELL NOW!
Damn it, that song is catchy as all hell. Oh, and to Sarah Palin: join us in welcoming your daughter to BABYDADDY-VILLE!
Who dat is?! I’ll be back soon.
Chachi Out
Friday, March 06, 2009
Watchmen: GO FUCKING WATCH IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING READING?! GO NOW!!
Okay, Watchmen is out today and it is nine hours long so I have to get started so I can make it to work on time on Monday once it gets out…on Monday. It’s time for…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
First, we have Falling Out:
Ikimonogakari – Kimagure Romanteikku (Peaked at #2)
Nana Mizuki – TRICKSTER (Peaked at #2)
Two videos that came close to taking the top spot. Oddly enough: both stopped by YA-KYIM. Irony at its finest. Let’s begin with a J-Pop princess making her return!
20. Hikaru Utada – Come Back To Me(New Entry)
Come Back To Me - Utada
We start off with the return of arguably the biggest J-Pop artist not named Ayumi Hamasaki! Miss Utada has been gone for quite a while and she returns with an English track of all things! I have to say it has a good R&B vibe to it and it is good to see her and BoA coming stateside. Bout damn time!
19. Young Jeezy featuring Nas – My President Is Black (Last Week #16)
Jeezy and Nas fall three spots this week and look to be falling out of the Countdown after a long but disappointing run. Can Young Jeezy rebound after two lackluster videos?
18. Lil Wayne – Prom Queen (New Entry)
Prom Queen - Lil Wayne
Young Weezy is on the Countdown! He was on here with Game a few months ago but this is his first time on here solo. I have been playing this song NON-STOP for the last few weeks and am kind of looking forward to his rock album. Hopefully it will be like Kanye’s out of the box experiment.
17. Kanye West – Heartless (Last Week #14)
Mr. West falls three more spots this week as it looks like his dominance may be over for a spell. “Welcome to Heartbreak” premiered and I love that video so…expect to see it soon.
16. Aqua Timez - Velonica (Last Week # 13)
Speaking of falling, Aqua Timez is also falling this week and they have TWO NEW VIDEOS to back this one up. See, this is how you do things!
15. YA-KYIM respects KOME KOME CLUB – Kimi Ga Iru Dake De (Last Week #9, Four Weeks at #1)
YA-KYIM falls from the Top Ten for the first time since 2008! This is one of the biggest videos of the year and it is only 3 months old! Can they keep the streak up?
14. Abingdon Boys School - STRENGTH (Last Week #18)
ABS moves up four spots this week as they look to overtake UVERworld as the biggest rock band on the Countdown. Although if you toss in Paramore…they may be number three. Maybe even number four…IF YOU WANT A SPOILER!
13. Joe Inoue – Closer (Last Week #11)
Joe falls two spots this week and slows down his descent. What the hell?! I kind of miss Naruto! Damn, I never thought I would say that but you don’t know what you got till it aint subbed I guess…
12. Yuna Ito – Trust You (Last Week #19, Biggest Mover)
My baby boo moves up a HUGE seven spots this week! That is the second biggest jump EVER! I just realized this song samples “No One” by Alicia Keys in arguably the biggest “AH-HA” moment of 2009. Just so you know, that video went to number one for five weeks on the Countdown. Just saying.
11. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #15)
Speaking of moving up, Shion Tsuji moves up four big ones and is just short of the Top Ten! For her first time out, she is kind of rocking the box! Love this song, btw.
10. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #6. One Week at #1)
We begin the Top 10 with a former number one! It is also the longest running video on the Countdown this year and is closing in on May J’s record for the longest running video on the Countdown ever as it has been here since NOVEMBER. Now that’s big pimpin.
9. T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake – Dead and Gone (Last Week #12)
Another day, another T.I. video in the Top Ten! TIP and J-Tim are back together again almost three years exactly when they were in the Top 10 last time with “My Love” man…that was three years ago? Shit, The Q is miles away at this point.
8. BoA - Eien (Last Week #10)
BoA moves up two spots this week as I wait for her fricking English album that WILL NEVER COME. Between her and Se7en I am giving up on the K-Pop invasion.
7. NERD – Sooner or Later (Last Week #4)
After coming so close to taking the number one spot, NERD falls from the Top Five this week. I wonder when in the hell the CRS album is coming…if ever.
6. UVERworld – 99/100 Damashi no Tetsu (Last Week #8)
UVERworld is creeping ever so close to ending the streak! They move up two spots this week as they inch ever closer to that elusive fourth number one video. Also…GET THEIR ALBUM NOW!
5. John Legend – Everybody Knows (Last Week #7)
Mr. Legend is back in the Top Five! His latest video (And clean shaven, might I ad) has moved up two spots this week and he has officially become the most dominant artist in the three year history of the Countdown. Damn right!
4. B.o.B. – I’ll Be In The Sky (Last Week #5)
B.o.B. moves up a single spot this week as he looks to maybe make a big splash for himself. He has gotten higher than I was expecting, I will tell you that much. Even still, can he pull the upset of the year and make it to the top? Not now because we are down to three!
3. YA-KYIM respects SEAMO - SA IKOU! (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
YA-KYIM’s second number one video falls two spots this week! After dominating the countdown for a combined six weeks, they are in the bronze medal spot this week. I hope they bring me something new soon because if so this could be the biggest year for one artist ever!
2. Jesse McCartney – It’s Over (Last Week #3)
Jesse McCartney is shocking the world! He has moved up another spot to the runner up position! Yes, I like Jesse McCartney as he filled a pop void in my playlist and in my heart. Also, the remix for “How Do You Sleep?” with Ludacris should be out any day now. But until then, we have a new number one video!
1. BACK-ON – flyaway (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
BACK-ON is on top! For the first time officially, BACK-ON has captured the crown and is officially the biggest band in the land! I have to say it is about time but at the same time they kind of don’t RELEASE ENOUGH FOR MY LIKING but that is a moot point. They are here now and they are rocking the top spot!
That is all for this week! Tune in next week to see if BACK-ON can hold on to number one for a second week! Or will Jesse McCartney shock the world and take over the top spot? Or can YA-KYIM rebound and make it a third week with the crown? See you in seven to find out!
GO. SEE. WATCHMEN. THAT IS ALL.
Chachi Out
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
First, we have Falling Out:
Ikimonogakari – Kimagure Romanteikku (Peaked at #2)
Nana Mizuki – TRICKSTER (Peaked at #2)
Two videos that came close to taking the top spot. Oddly enough: both stopped by YA-KYIM. Irony at its finest. Let’s begin with a J-Pop princess making her return!
20. Hikaru Utada – Come Back To Me(New Entry)
Come Back To Me - Utada
We start off with the return of arguably the biggest J-Pop artist not named Ayumi Hamasaki! Miss Utada has been gone for quite a while and she returns with an English track of all things! I have to say it has a good R&B vibe to it and it is good to see her and BoA coming stateside. Bout damn time!
19. Young Jeezy featuring Nas – My President Is Black (Last Week #16)
Jeezy and Nas fall three spots this week and look to be falling out of the Countdown after a long but disappointing run. Can Young Jeezy rebound after two lackluster videos?
18. Lil Wayne – Prom Queen (New Entry)
Prom Queen - Lil Wayne
Young Weezy is on the Countdown! He was on here with Game a few months ago but this is his first time on here solo. I have been playing this song NON-STOP for the last few weeks and am kind of looking forward to his rock album. Hopefully it will be like Kanye’s out of the box experiment.
17. Kanye West – Heartless (Last Week #14)
Mr. West falls three more spots this week as it looks like his dominance may be over for a spell. “Welcome to Heartbreak” premiered and I love that video so…expect to see it soon.
16. Aqua Timez - Velonica (Last Week # 13)
Speaking of falling, Aqua Timez is also falling this week and they have TWO NEW VIDEOS to back this one up. See, this is how you do things!
15. YA-KYIM respects KOME KOME CLUB – Kimi Ga Iru Dake De (Last Week #9, Four Weeks at #1)
YA-KYIM falls from the Top Ten for the first time since 2008! This is one of the biggest videos of the year and it is only 3 months old! Can they keep the streak up?
14. Abingdon Boys School - STRENGTH (Last Week #18)
ABS moves up four spots this week as they look to overtake UVERworld as the biggest rock band on the Countdown. Although if you toss in Paramore…they may be number three. Maybe even number four…IF YOU WANT A SPOILER!
13. Joe Inoue – Closer (Last Week #11)
Joe falls two spots this week and slows down his descent. What the hell?! I kind of miss Naruto! Damn, I never thought I would say that but you don’t know what you got till it aint subbed I guess…
12. Yuna Ito – Trust You (Last Week #19, Biggest Mover)
My baby boo moves up a HUGE seven spots this week! That is the second biggest jump EVER! I just realized this song samples “No One” by Alicia Keys in arguably the biggest “AH-HA” moment of 2009. Just so you know, that video went to number one for five weeks on the Countdown. Just saying.
11. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #15)
Speaking of moving up, Shion Tsuji moves up four big ones and is just short of the Top Ten! For her first time out, she is kind of rocking the box! Love this song, btw.
10. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #6. One Week at #1)
We begin the Top 10 with a former number one! It is also the longest running video on the Countdown this year and is closing in on May J’s record for the longest running video on the Countdown ever as it has been here since NOVEMBER. Now that’s big pimpin.
9. T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake – Dead and Gone (Last Week #12)
Another day, another T.I. video in the Top Ten! TIP and J-Tim are back together again almost three years exactly when they were in the Top 10 last time with “My Love” man…that was three years ago? Shit, The Q is miles away at this point.
8. BoA - Eien (Last Week #10)
BoA moves up two spots this week as I wait for her fricking English album that WILL NEVER COME. Between her and Se7en I am giving up on the K-Pop invasion.
7. NERD – Sooner or Later (Last Week #4)
After coming so close to taking the number one spot, NERD falls from the Top Five this week. I wonder when in the hell the CRS album is coming…if ever.
6. UVERworld – 99/100 Damashi no Tetsu (Last Week #8)
UVERworld is creeping ever so close to ending the streak! They move up two spots this week as they inch ever closer to that elusive fourth number one video. Also…GET THEIR ALBUM NOW!
5. John Legend – Everybody Knows (Last Week #7)
Mr. Legend is back in the Top Five! His latest video (And clean shaven, might I ad) has moved up two spots this week and he has officially become the most dominant artist in the three year history of the Countdown. Damn right!
4. B.o.B. – I’ll Be In The Sky (Last Week #5)
B.o.B. moves up a single spot this week as he looks to maybe make a big splash for himself. He has gotten higher than I was expecting, I will tell you that much. Even still, can he pull the upset of the year and make it to the top? Not now because we are down to three!
3. YA-KYIM respects SEAMO - SA IKOU! (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
YA-KYIM’s second number one video falls two spots this week! After dominating the countdown for a combined six weeks, they are in the bronze medal spot this week. I hope they bring me something new soon because if so this could be the biggest year for one artist ever!
2. Jesse McCartney – It’s Over (Last Week #3)
Jesse McCartney is shocking the world! He has moved up another spot to the runner up position! Yes, I like Jesse McCartney as he filled a pop void in my playlist and in my heart. Also, the remix for “How Do You Sleep?” with Ludacris should be out any day now. But until then, we have a new number one video!
1. BACK-ON – flyaway (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
BACK-ON is on top! For the first time officially, BACK-ON has captured the crown and is officially the biggest band in the land! I have to say it is about time but at the same time they kind of don’t RELEASE ENOUGH FOR MY LIKING but that is a moot point. They are here now and they are rocking the top spot!
That is all for this week! Tune in next week to see if BACK-ON can hold on to number one for a second week! Or will Jesse McCartney shock the world and take over the top spot? Or can YA-KYIM rebound and make it a third week with the crown? See you in seven to find out!
GO. SEE. WATCHMEN. THAT IS ALL.
Chachi Out
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Blatant Plug! GO SEE WATCHMEN, BITCHES!
What is up, peeps? I have to say it right now: there is nothing weirder than the bond a cat creates when you groom it. It is just…godless. You know that at some point, no matter how calm she is, she is going to kill you. After she gets her nails did and her eyes cleaned, of course. Selfish bitch.
So who is down for some Watchmen tomorrow? I am hearing mixed things about the movie (WAAAAY too long, good story, hit or miss when reenacting the graphic novel, not enough ninjas) but for the most part I couldn’t give a rats ass because I will be there anyway. IT IS THE FUCKING WATCHMEN:
You look at that and tell me that won’t kick your face in with the awesomeness. Be there on Friday, people. It is not to be missed. Also, I CANNOT wait for Resident Evil 5. Hopefully I CAN FUCKING RUN AND SHOOT AT THE SAME TIME IN THIS ONE! What the hell, man.
Shockingly, that is all I have for now. Hella tired and the whatnot. I’ll be back for the Countdown on Friday before Watchmen. Peace out ya’ll!
Chachi Out
So who is down for some Watchmen tomorrow? I am hearing mixed things about the movie (WAAAAY too long, good story, hit or miss when reenacting the graphic novel, not enough ninjas) but for the most part I couldn’t give a rats ass because I will be there anyway. IT IS THE FUCKING WATCHMEN:
You look at that and tell me that won’t kick your face in with the awesomeness. Be there on Friday, people. It is not to be missed. Also, I CANNOT wait for Resident Evil 5. Hopefully I CAN FUCKING RUN AND SHOOT AT THE SAME TIME IN THIS ONE! What the hell, man.
Shockingly, that is all I have for now. Hella tired and the whatnot. I’ll be back for the Countdown on Friday before Watchmen. Peace out ya’ll!
Chachi Out
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
In A Mad World Only The Mad Are Sane - Akira Kurosawa
What be up, people? As you can tell, yesterday I was a little vexed (Preceded by blinding rage at the ineptitude of some people) with my current situation and I felt like maybe it was time to just do the flip out I have always wanted to do.I was dead set on pulling a Jerry McGuire meets Dave Chappelle when he knocked up Oprah moment when today started off even WORSE. I couldn’t get out of bed (Which is hella sad because I got up at 5:30am ANY-DAMN-WAY) after making up good time on my way to Denver (BOOOO!) and realizing I just don’t want to put up with the bullshit anymore…I got stuck in a 15 mile traffic jam because of an accident. So I turned on the radio to find out what the hell was going on but there was no signal in Larkspur because it sucks ass so I couldn’t find a radio station. That and I don’t listen to the radio anymore because I hate hearing Taylor Swift and Plies all fucking day. So I searched and searched until I FINALLY GOT A STATION and guess what song it finally stopped on? Wilson Phillip’s “Hold On”:
I wasn’t sure if this was my sign to hold on and just fight like a drunken ferret or snap and kill everyone on the highway due to the ultimate irony. Either way, I just decided to call Young Copper because if anyone knows about irony kicking you in the balls but giving you the Contra code at the same time…it’s YC.
Okay, I have asked this once and now I will ask this again: WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THE STANKY LEGG?!:
Seriously?! Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on around here?! I mean…WHAT THE HELL, MAN?! Is this what we have come to? Is this what Public Enemy fought the power for?! Is this what Tribe Called Quest went to El Segundo for?! IS THIS WHY HAMMER COULDN’T HURT EM?! God, just when I think hip hop has turned the corner to respectability they come out with this kind of shit. At least I still have Yuna Ito to keep me happy. No, seriously WHAT IN THE HELL IS THE STANKY LEGG SUPPOSED TO BE?! This is going to bug me until I find something else to dumbfound me. Little help?
Well, I am out. Just got some news from Griff that is stunning but at the same time…not so stunning. I’m gonna lay down for a bit. I will be back Friday, maybe on Thursday depending on how I feel. I am just disgusted and disappointed a great deal by how…some people just don’t change. Makes me want to holler:
Sad part: THIS ISN’T THE DAMN INNER CITY. People need to act like they have some sense, damn it.
Live, Laugh, Learn & Love
(Kicking it a bit old school, peeps)
I wasn’t sure if this was my sign to hold on and just fight like a drunken ferret or snap and kill everyone on the highway due to the ultimate irony. Either way, I just decided to call Young Copper because if anyone knows about irony kicking you in the balls but giving you the Contra code at the same time…it’s YC.
Okay, I have asked this once and now I will ask this again: WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THE STANKY LEGG?!:
Seriously?! Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on around here?! I mean…WHAT THE HELL, MAN?! Is this what we have come to? Is this what Public Enemy fought the power for?! Is this what Tribe Called Quest went to El Segundo for?! IS THIS WHY HAMMER COULDN’T HURT EM?! God, just when I think hip hop has turned the corner to respectability they come out with this kind of shit. At least I still have Yuna Ito to keep me happy. No, seriously WHAT IN THE HELL IS THE STANKY LEGG SUPPOSED TO BE?! This is going to bug me until I find something else to dumbfound me. Little help?
Well, I am out. Just got some news from Griff that is stunning but at the same time…not so stunning. I’m gonna lay down for a bit. I will be back Friday, maybe on Thursday depending on how I feel. I am just disgusted and disappointed a great deal by how…some people just don’t change. Makes me want to holler:
Sad part: THIS ISN’T THE DAMN INNER CITY. People need to act like they have some sense, damn it.
Live, Laugh, Learn & Love
(Kicking it a bit old school, peeps)
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
The Zebra Theory: It Works In The Wild, Yet It Is Ignored In The Club. Cosmic.
Okay, I am reposting this (I believe for the third time) because it seems like this little theory TO THIS DAY is ignored no matter how often it is proven to be correct. Which is fine by me but you don't see zebras complain about being harassed in the club for grinding on a lion...because they get eating. Let me just say, fellas: cannibal acts are not cool. Ladies love to be eaten, but not in that way. AW SNAP! And away we go!
First off, today there will be a rant. It will be offensive to some, but I really think this needs to be said. I got this idea after in-depth conversations with some friends (both male and female) over the last few days. I also was sent the link for the new Pink video for 'Stupid Girls' and I must say, it's actually pretty good. Of the 2000 pop explosion, she's the only one I could really tolerate.
Okay, I remember being an a women's rights club in college (rather interesting story, I will tell it someday) and was always on the opposite side of debates with the other members. They were always talking about how hard it is in today's world to be a woman. How the odds are stacked against them and how they aren't protected. Not wanting to be in a 13-on-1 battle of attrition, I would just sit there and take it at first. After a while, I began to realize something: the concept of reality is LOST on women.
Now for the two or three women that read this blog, I will explain my words. The members would always say that the media (which meant men) create a false standard for women to achieve in terms of beauty and style. And I will agree to that statement as it is still true today. Maxim doesn't sell because the articles are insightful and music videos don't get airplay for the musical content. They are both successful due to the 'objectification' of women that are quite the opposite of the ideal look. All women don't look like Vida Guerra. Here is a picture:
There is a simple reason why women that look like her are put into videos and magazines, and its not the grand conspiracy to keep women down as much as 'neo-feminists' try to push that on us. The reason these women are pushed to the forefront is the exact same reason anything gets pushed to the forefront: they aren't the norm. If every woman looked like Vida Guerra (giggidy-giggidy), then something else would be pushed by the media. It's the male equivalent of Mike Vick in 2002. The man DID bring something totally new to the quarterback position in the NFL, and they pushed him to the moon. Was it justified? Hell no, and I am as big a Mike Vick fan as there is. He was unproven, erratic and unpolished in the basic skills of...well throwing a screen pass. Was the push of J-Lo warranted? Hell no, she's a piss-poor singer, and average dancer and I have seen better acting in porn. But she had the look, and that is all that matters. It all comes down to money and marketing people. No more, no less.
Oh, and about the way women are portrayed in the media. Ladies, as a black man I can say this and be completely justified because of what I have seen in the last ten years from my people. You undo any progress you make almost the EXACT second you make it. Women want to be respected for their actions and valued for their worth. Completely valid, so does everyone. However, you need to do a serious gut check about your role models. To be seen as respectable, your LEADERS must be respectable. Take black men for example. Gone are the days of Garvey, King, Evers and Little (Malcolm X for the non-readers) and they have been replaced by 50 Cent, Jay Z, Nelly and Snoop. Not exactly the ones on the forefront if you are trying to fight for respectability, are they? Now when you think about women with popularity, aside from Oprah (who you need to latch on to and not let go if you want to make this thing work) and Hillary name the female icons. None, really. When people think of popular women they think of who?
Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. As sad as it is, it is very true. And their claim to fame? Banging on camera and being a drug addict. Oh, and Lindsay did 'Mean Girls' which was highly underrated. I'm sorry, but the whole 'Sex in the City' live like men this is stupid and it is hurting your stock and credibility. You know why? Because living like men is FUCKING STUPID. Drinking till you pass out and getting teabagged is living like men. Is that what you want? Nothing is wrong with drinking and having a good time. I am all for that. I am not for stupidity and a lack of common sense. And alcohol plus women equals exactly that.
Now this is a touchy subject, and I debated on whether or not to go here because this view hasn't gone over very well with people in the past. I honestly don't care anymore about the feelings anymore. Let me preface this by saying that I believe rape is wrong. It is a crime and it is disgusting. You know what else is wrong? Going into a situation where you know 'shit can happen' and regretting it afterward. Ladies, I never want to defend the actions of the attacker of downplay the emotions of the victim. I also don't want to portray men as uncontrollable animals that cant think straight when they see boobies.
Let's look at this with a little bit of logic. Black men and white women don't hold hands in Alabama when possible. Gay college students stay away from frat parties wearing rainbows. White people stay out of New Orleans, D.C. and Detroit after midnight. Why? Because it is just logical and good common sense. In the jungle, how many times have you seen a zebra walk up to a lion and give it a kiss like Bugs Bunny gave Elmer Fudd? Never. Why? Because it's not good common sense. Are women smarter than zebras? Of course they are. So why do things that aren't safe for you?
Thats not a fair comparison, you say? You should be able to drink whenever and not have to worry about being groped or worse sexually assaulted? You say you should be able to have a good time without fearing for your safety? You know what? You are correct. You know what else? I don't like having to say this but tough shit. It's sad, but its the way things are. I'm a grown man but I was scared when I was in Mississippi. I was literally scared because of how people looked at me and the artifacts of racism that were in gas stations and restaurants (confederate flags, sambo statues, etc). Is that fair? That I should be afraid of being assaulted? No. But you know what, tough shit for me. It hurts me to say that, but at the same time, I want to live to be 30.
Women can always used the defense 'men should change and learn to respect us' but hey, respect yourself and then we will talk. Wear a full set of clothing that actually has seams and then talk about perception. Try not to sound like giggling, dumb as a bag of stones stereotyical dumb girl and then get back to me about being respected. I know Dave Chappelle talked about the 'ho's uniform' and that's a fine analogy. I agree that just because a woman is dressed a certain way doesn't make her a whore. Now lets use common sense again here. If you see a guy in bummy shoes with bad hair, do you think he's eccentric? Or a dirty bum? When you see a Allen Iverson, do you see a savvy businessman worth 17 million a year? Or a thug that may take your wallet? I learned a long time ago that fair or not, perception is reality. No matter how intelligent I am or how well I present myself, if I dress a certain way I will be perceived that way. Take note a realize that. As judgmental as women are sometimes, I cant understand why shit like that doesn't sink in.
You know, Huey from the Boondocks said it best. This line works for everyone from women to blacks to Muslims (don't think you are getting off easy. I will get with you guys later) to Right Wing Christians: Act like you've got some goddamn sense. Really THINK before you act. Don't get into situations that could end up bad if you can avoid them and if you can't your ass better master the FALCON PAWNCH:
See, a hell of a lot more effective than doing the stanky leg or whatever. I am out, be back on Wednesday I think. If not, definitly Friday.
Chachi Out.
First off, today there will be a rant. It will be offensive to some, but I really think this needs to be said. I got this idea after in-depth conversations with some friends (both male and female) over the last few days. I also was sent the link for the new Pink video for 'Stupid Girls' and I must say, it's actually pretty good. Of the 2000 pop explosion, she's the only one I could really tolerate.
Okay, I remember being an a women's rights club in college (rather interesting story, I will tell it someday) and was always on the opposite side of debates with the other members. They were always talking about how hard it is in today's world to be a woman. How the odds are stacked against them and how they aren't protected. Not wanting to be in a 13-on-1 battle of attrition, I would just sit there and take it at first. After a while, I began to realize something: the concept of reality is LOST on women.
Now for the two or three women that read this blog, I will explain my words. The members would always say that the media (which meant men) create a false standard for women to achieve in terms of beauty and style. And I will agree to that statement as it is still true today. Maxim doesn't sell because the articles are insightful and music videos don't get airplay for the musical content. They are both successful due to the 'objectification' of women that are quite the opposite of the ideal look. All women don't look like Vida Guerra. Here is a picture:
There is a simple reason why women that look like her are put into videos and magazines, and its not the grand conspiracy to keep women down as much as 'neo-feminists' try to push that on us. The reason these women are pushed to the forefront is the exact same reason anything gets pushed to the forefront: they aren't the norm. If every woman looked like Vida Guerra (giggidy-giggidy), then something else would be pushed by the media. It's the male equivalent of Mike Vick in 2002. The man DID bring something totally new to the quarterback position in the NFL, and they pushed him to the moon. Was it justified? Hell no, and I am as big a Mike Vick fan as there is. He was unproven, erratic and unpolished in the basic skills of...well throwing a screen pass. Was the push of J-Lo warranted? Hell no, she's a piss-poor singer, and average dancer and I have seen better acting in porn. But she had the look, and that is all that matters. It all comes down to money and marketing people. No more, no less.
Oh, and about the way women are portrayed in the media. Ladies, as a black man I can say this and be completely justified because of what I have seen in the last ten years from my people. You undo any progress you make almost the EXACT second you make it. Women want to be respected for their actions and valued for their worth. Completely valid, so does everyone. However, you need to do a serious gut check about your role models. To be seen as respectable, your LEADERS must be respectable. Take black men for example. Gone are the days of Garvey, King, Evers and Little (Malcolm X for the non-readers) and they have been replaced by 50 Cent, Jay Z, Nelly and Snoop. Not exactly the ones on the forefront if you are trying to fight for respectability, are they? Now when you think about women with popularity, aside from Oprah (who you need to latch on to and not let go if you want to make this thing work) and Hillary name the female icons. None, really. When people think of popular women they think of who?
Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. As sad as it is, it is very true. And their claim to fame? Banging on camera and being a drug addict. Oh, and Lindsay did 'Mean Girls' which was highly underrated. I'm sorry, but the whole 'Sex in the City' live like men this is stupid and it is hurting your stock and credibility. You know why? Because living like men is FUCKING STUPID. Drinking till you pass out and getting teabagged is living like men. Is that what you want? Nothing is wrong with drinking and having a good time. I am all for that. I am not for stupidity and a lack of common sense. And alcohol plus women equals exactly that.
Now this is a touchy subject, and I debated on whether or not to go here because this view hasn't gone over very well with people in the past. I honestly don't care anymore about the feelings anymore. Let me preface this by saying that I believe rape is wrong. It is a crime and it is disgusting. You know what else is wrong? Going into a situation where you know 'shit can happen' and regretting it afterward. Ladies, I never want to defend the actions of the attacker of downplay the emotions of the victim. I also don't want to portray men as uncontrollable animals that cant think straight when they see boobies.
Let's look at this with a little bit of logic. Black men and white women don't hold hands in Alabama when possible. Gay college students stay away from frat parties wearing rainbows. White people stay out of New Orleans, D.C. and Detroit after midnight. Why? Because it is just logical and good common sense. In the jungle, how many times have you seen a zebra walk up to a lion and give it a kiss like Bugs Bunny gave Elmer Fudd? Never. Why? Because it's not good common sense. Are women smarter than zebras? Of course they are. So why do things that aren't safe for you?
Thats not a fair comparison, you say? You should be able to drink whenever and not have to worry about being groped or worse sexually assaulted? You say you should be able to have a good time without fearing for your safety? You know what? You are correct. You know what else? I don't like having to say this but tough shit. It's sad, but its the way things are. I'm a grown man but I was scared when I was in Mississippi. I was literally scared because of how people looked at me and the artifacts of racism that were in gas stations and restaurants (confederate flags, sambo statues, etc). Is that fair? That I should be afraid of being assaulted? No. But you know what, tough shit for me. It hurts me to say that, but at the same time, I want to live to be 30.
Women can always used the defense 'men should change and learn to respect us' but hey, respect yourself and then we will talk. Wear a full set of clothing that actually has seams and then talk about perception. Try not to sound like giggling, dumb as a bag of stones stereotyical dumb girl and then get back to me about being respected. I know Dave Chappelle talked about the 'ho's uniform' and that's a fine analogy. I agree that just because a woman is dressed a certain way doesn't make her a whore. Now lets use common sense again here. If you see a guy in bummy shoes with bad hair, do you think he's eccentric? Or a dirty bum? When you see a Allen Iverson, do you see a savvy businessman worth 17 million a year? Or a thug that may take your wallet? I learned a long time ago that fair or not, perception is reality. No matter how intelligent I am or how well I present myself, if I dress a certain way I will be perceived that way. Take note a realize that. As judgmental as women are sometimes, I cant understand why shit like that doesn't sink in.
You know, Huey from the Boondocks said it best. This line works for everyone from women to blacks to Muslims (don't think you are getting off easy. I will get with you guys later) to Right Wing Christians: Act like you've got some goddamn sense. Really THINK before you act. Don't get into situations that could end up bad if you can avoid them and if you can't your ass better master the FALCON PAWNCH:
See, a hell of a lot more effective than doing the stanky leg or whatever. I am out, be back on Wednesday I think. If not, definitly Friday.
Chachi Out.
Monday, March 02, 2009
Anger: Making This Blog What It Is Since...When Did It Start?
I am saying this right here and right now: I am never going to make fun of Rihanna again…because I AM HER. God, maybe he really WILL CHANGE this time.
So with that being said, you know what I hate? People who gleefully know that what they do isn’t working and rather than fix it, get upset when you point out a fix. I mean seriously? Are you that happy to be wrong just because you can “learn” from it? You know, just because you CAN make a mistake doesn’t mean you have to. I am living proof! Like that time I got kicked out of G-Wiz:
Man, I totally could have been part of a somewhat successful mid-90’s new jack swing group with a modest R&B hit that only seven people remember. Dammit all to hell! Anyway, today was one of the most fury inducing days I have had in a long ass time. Here are a few things that people need to learn about me real quick:
1. NEVER ASK MY OPINION IF YOU AREN’T READY FOR WHAT YOU WILL HEAR: Listen, I give stories and I rant but how often to I actually give my REAL OPINION on shit? NEVER because what I feel about what your dumb ass just asked will turn your world asunder. So if you ask me and I give it…don’t get upset because your ideas aren’t working. Half of my ideas never work and the other half piss people off so I know what it feels like to be told you have a bad idea but take the advice and run with it. Or don’t fucking ask…jackass.
2. If You Give Leadership To Several With No Ability To Lead, Then You Have No Leadership: Leadership by committee only works if someone knows what they are doing. It is kind of like Dr. Spock to Captian Kirk. Or to a lesser extent, Kiff to Zapp Brannigan. If you don’t have someone behind you smarter than you running the ship then YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. There, I said it. It is like having Pinky, Gilligan and Betty Boop running a cookie factory. Yes, comedy would ensue but many people would die and all the cookies would be fucked up.
3. I Don’t Fucking Like Coffee: It won’t wake me up so quit telling me to have some. Anything you have to spruce up with 19 flavors to make it tolerable really shouldn’t be drank. Soju tastes like pain but god damn IT DOES ITS FUCKING JOB. Coffee is just nasty and if you need it to be awake then you need help. Try crack!
4. It Is None Of Your Business What I Am Doing: My family hasn’t asked me what I was doing since I was like 12. You know why? They know the less they know about what I do, the less they can tell the cops when something bad happens. “Officer, I think I would know if he was selling Cambodian sex slaves via Ebay. And I tell you, I saw nothing out of the ordinary! Except for a shitload of Cambodians but who DOESN’T have them now-a-days?” So if they don’t ask, who in the fuck are you to ask? Seriously, unless I am downloading loli porn (In which case I would need a bigger monitor because lolis are small) don’t ask so many fucking questions.
5. I Really Don’t Care: So stop asking. Seriously, how many ways can I say I don’t give a fuck?
Also, I was talking to a friend of mine about being shallow and we just thought of the most awesome line EVAR:
“I’m so shallow I don’t care about how you look, I care about how you DON’T look.”
Ladies and gentlemen…that is the most awesomely horrible thing I have said in a long while. Not my personal opinion (I am to indifferent to be shallow personally, mostly because no one will ever love me without money involved) but youhave to admit that shit is funny. You know, a few of you have said that my anger has gotten out of control lately. I need something to calm me down…
Aaaahhh, that makes me feel better. Well, I am out for now. Zebra theory up soon.
Chachi Out
So with that being said, you know what I hate? People who gleefully know that what they do isn’t working and rather than fix it, get upset when you point out a fix. I mean seriously? Are you that happy to be wrong just because you can “learn” from it? You know, just because you CAN make a mistake doesn’t mean you have to. I am living proof! Like that time I got kicked out of G-Wiz:
Man, I totally could have been part of a somewhat successful mid-90’s new jack swing group with a modest R&B hit that only seven people remember. Dammit all to hell! Anyway, today was one of the most fury inducing days I have had in a long ass time. Here are a few things that people need to learn about me real quick:
1. NEVER ASK MY OPINION IF YOU AREN’T READY FOR WHAT YOU WILL HEAR: Listen, I give stories and I rant but how often to I actually give my REAL OPINION on shit? NEVER because what I feel about what your dumb ass just asked will turn your world asunder. So if you ask me and I give it…don’t get upset because your ideas aren’t working. Half of my ideas never work and the other half piss people off so I know what it feels like to be told you have a bad idea but take the advice and run with it. Or don’t fucking ask…jackass.
2. If You Give Leadership To Several With No Ability To Lead, Then You Have No Leadership: Leadership by committee only works if someone knows what they are doing. It is kind of like Dr. Spock to Captian Kirk. Or to a lesser extent, Kiff to Zapp Brannigan. If you don’t have someone behind you smarter than you running the ship then YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. There, I said it. It is like having Pinky, Gilligan and Betty Boop running a cookie factory. Yes, comedy would ensue but many people would die and all the cookies would be fucked up.
3. I Don’t Fucking Like Coffee: It won’t wake me up so quit telling me to have some. Anything you have to spruce up with 19 flavors to make it tolerable really shouldn’t be drank. Soju tastes like pain but god damn IT DOES ITS FUCKING JOB. Coffee is just nasty and if you need it to be awake then you need help. Try crack!
4. It Is None Of Your Business What I Am Doing: My family hasn’t asked me what I was doing since I was like 12. You know why? They know the less they know about what I do, the less they can tell the cops when something bad happens. “Officer, I think I would know if he was selling Cambodian sex slaves via Ebay. And I tell you, I saw nothing out of the ordinary! Except for a shitload of Cambodians but who DOESN’T have them now-a-days?” So if they don’t ask, who in the fuck are you to ask? Seriously, unless I am downloading loli porn (In which case I would need a bigger monitor because lolis are small) don’t ask so many fucking questions.
5. I Really Don’t Care: So stop asking. Seriously, how many ways can I say I don’t give a fuck?
Also, I was talking to a friend of mine about being shallow and we just thought of the most awesome line EVAR:
“I’m so shallow I don’t care about how you look, I care about how you DON’T look.”
Ladies and gentlemen…that is the most awesomely horrible thing I have said in a long while. Not my personal opinion (I am to indifferent to be shallow personally, mostly because no one will ever love me without money involved) but youhave to admit that shit is funny. You know, a few of you have said that my anger has gotten out of control lately. I need something to calm me down…
Aaaahhh, that makes me feel better. Well, I am out for now. Zebra theory up soon.
Chachi Out
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Question: Has Not Hitting A Bitch Worked For Me? Answer: Sadly A Pimp Named Slickback...No.
Griff was right…
Ya Gotta Beat ’Em To Keep ‘Em
Just like Flavor Flav killed the Civil Rights movement for ALL RACES (Even Koreans. Yes, you too. Trust me, your country is one more season of Flavor of Love away from wearing clocks and Viking hats for no fucking reason), Rihanna has just put women back in the kitchen and out of the voting booth. Now you can say all you want to about “love” and it being “her choice” but in the end this is about logic and principle. The logic is this man beat you like you raped his kitten. Now don’t get it twisted, I have slightly more respect for women than I do for Michael Vick because at least women haven’t destroyed a football franchise (Albeit short term it seems) but there was no reason for this. I will reiterate it is her choice and it isn’t my business to judge her on her merit and intentions but I can judge her on her actions. And her actions are of those that I have said for years that women need to let the fuck go of:
"Just because you have the right to MAKE a decision doesn’t excuse you from making a BAD decision."
There, I said it. You see, you have the right to do whatever you want to because we as Americans hold certain truths to be self evident and all that other blah-blah-blah-yakkity-smackity. One big thing that comes with rights and freedoms of choice the responsibility to be held accountable for your ACTIONS, not necessarily your motives. Just like SWIMMING WITH STINGRAYS. Asshole. We will never know why Chris Brown delivered the most awesome beating ever documented since the San Francisco vs. Denver Broncos second Super Bowl and it really isn’t our place to judge his motives because I firmly disagree in the “it is never RIGHT hit a woman” bullshit because EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING has done something worthy of a swift ass-kicking but you SHOULDN’T hit a woman. Big difference, ladies because some people aren’t going to abide by that so if you don’t put yourself in a situation to get lit up like an early Roy Jones Jr. fight then odds are you won’t. However, we can judge Chris Brown by his ACTIONS and as one who is against the term “domestic violence” as much as I am against the term “hate crime” I honestly believe this issue is he assaulted someone, not the fact he assaulted his girlfriend. Had he done the exact same thing to T-Pain or some random nigga on the street I would feel the exact same way: he broke the law and if the parties want to pursue legal action then he should be held under the same legal ramifications and subject to the same legal standards whether he HIT A MAN OR A WOMAN. However, since Rihanna’s dumb ass doesn’t seem to be pressing charges either there is more to the story or she is in love with a beater. Better than being in love with a stripper but still.
So at the end of the day of the biggest “nigga news” story since Lil Wayne/Baby’s Thuggin-Love-Lip-Lock-Gate, what have we learned? Not a god damn thing. This happens so often on a non-public and smaller scale that anyone who says “she was so stupid!” or “I can’t believe he is getting away with it!” is being naïve and is rather a fucking asshat and your asshatery has no place in a society where people know that there are just some people that are going to do what they feel is best even if you think it is self-destructive because they don’t believe they are being harmful to themselves or others. This is a perfect case of that theory. Stop saying that Chris Brown isn’t sorry and that Rihanna is stupid but also stop saying that Chris Brown is “brave for admitting what he did” and that Rihanna is a brave soul and a “survivor” (Not being able to dodge a punch doesn’t make you a survivor. BEING SURVIVOR MAKES YOU A SURVIVOR!):
They are two people who are barely old enough to vote and drink that did something stupid. The end. She forgave him and so should you (Yeah, I feel the same way about slavery. Christopher Titus apologized for it! It’s cool now!). Too bad the public had to see their dipshittery but that is life. So this is the last I will speak on this unless Chris Brown relapses because Rihanna aint putting enough stank on the track. I BEEN DONE TOLD YOU, ADE MAY! YOU CAN’T SEE BREEZY CUZ HE UP IN…HE-YAH! You see? Just like rape, racism, Pedo Bear and the occasional non-consensual anal sex…domestic violence can be funny.
Now if you excuse me, I am out. Classic Chachi tomorrow as I really think some of you bitches need to know what the Zebra Theory is once again. Until then, one word: MOFABO!
Chachi Out
Ya Gotta Beat ’Em To Keep ‘Em
Just like Flavor Flav killed the Civil Rights movement for ALL RACES (Even Koreans. Yes, you too. Trust me, your country is one more season of Flavor of Love away from wearing clocks and Viking hats for no fucking reason), Rihanna has just put women back in the kitchen and out of the voting booth. Now you can say all you want to about “love” and it being “her choice” but in the end this is about logic and principle. The logic is this man beat you like you raped his kitten. Now don’t get it twisted, I have slightly more respect for women than I do for Michael Vick because at least women haven’t destroyed a football franchise (Albeit short term it seems) but there was no reason for this. I will reiterate it is her choice and it isn’t my business to judge her on her merit and intentions but I can judge her on her actions. And her actions are of those that I have said for years that women need to let the fuck go of:
"Just because you have the right to MAKE a decision doesn’t excuse you from making a BAD decision."
There, I said it. You see, you have the right to do whatever you want to because we as Americans hold certain truths to be self evident and all that other blah-blah-blah-yakkity-smackity. One big thing that comes with rights and freedoms of choice the responsibility to be held accountable for your ACTIONS, not necessarily your motives. Just like SWIMMING WITH STINGRAYS. Asshole. We will never know why Chris Brown delivered the most awesome beating ever documented since the San Francisco vs. Denver Broncos second Super Bowl and it really isn’t our place to judge his motives because I firmly disagree in the “it is never RIGHT hit a woman” bullshit because EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING has done something worthy of a swift ass-kicking but you SHOULDN’T hit a woman. Big difference, ladies because some people aren’t going to abide by that so if you don’t put yourself in a situation to get lit up like an early Roy Jones Jr. fight then odds are you won’t. However, we can judge Chris Brown by his ACTIONS and as one who is against the term “domestic violence” as much as I am against the term “hate crime” I honestly believe this issue is he assaulted someone, not the fact he assaulted his girlfriend. Had he done the exact same thing to T-Pain or some random nigga on the street I would feel the exact same way: he broke the law and if the parties want to pursue legal action then he should be held under the same legal ramifications and subject to the same legal standards whether he HIT A MAN OR A WOMAN. However, since Rihanna’s dumb ass doesn’t seem to be pressing charges either there is more to the story or she is in love with a beater. Better than being in love with a stripper but still.
So at the end of the day of the biggest “nigga news” story since Lil Wayne/Baby’s Thuggin-Love-Lip-Lock-Gate, what have we learned? Not a god damn thing. This happens so often on a non-public and smaller scale that anyone who says “she was so stupid!” or “I can’t believe he is getting away with it!” is being naïve and is rather a fucking asshat and your asshatery has no place in a society where people know that there are just some people that are going to do what they feel is best even if you think it is self-destructive because they don’t believe they are being harmful to themselves or others. This is a perfect case of that theory. Stop saying that Chris Brown isn’t sorry and that Rihanna is stupid but also stop saying that Chris Brown is “brave for admitting what he did” and that Rihanna is a brave soul and a “survivor” (Not being able to dodge a punch doesn’t make you a survivor. BEING SURVIVOR MAKES YOU A SURVIVOR!):
They are two people who are barely old enough to vote and drink that did something stupid. The end. She forgave him and so should you (Yeah, I feel the same way about slavery. Christopher Titus apologized for it! It’s cool now!). Too bad the public had to see their dipshittery but that is life. So this is the last I will speak on this unless Chris Brown relapses because Rihanna aint putting enough stank on the track. I BEEN DONE TOLD YOU, ADE MAY! YOU CAN’T SEE BREEZY CUZ HE UP IN…HE-YAH! You see? Just like rape, racism, Pedo Bear and the occasional non-consensual anal sex…domestic violence can be funny.
Now if you excuse me, I am out. Classic Chachi tomorrow as I really think some of you bitches need to know what the Zebra Theory is once again. Until then, one word: MOFABO!
Chachi Out
Friday, February 27, 2009
Yeah, I Have A Road Rage Issue. Time For Some Music!
Well, it is about that time! It is time for why you come here every Friday!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Falling Out:
BoA – Eat You Up [Korean Version] (Peaked at #1 for Four Weeks)
NOOOOO! NOT BOA! Man, I don’t know how I am going to live. Well, let’s get started!
20. Ikimonogakari – Kimagure Romanteikku (Last Week #16)
It looks like the end for Ikimonogakari this week as they fall four spots to number twenty. Can they rebound with a new video soon?
19. Yuna Ito – Trust You (New Entry)
YES! YES YES! YES! YES YES! YES! Yuna Ito is back with a ballad and looking damn fine! If you hear this song and you don’t love it then there is no hope for your ass because she is fucking awesome and I LOVE HER. AND SHE IS BACK!
18. Abingdon Boys School - STRENGTH (Last Week #20)
ABS moves up two spots this week as they return to the world after a recent solo return from TM. Could we see a new album by the end of 2009? HELLS YEAH!
17. Nana Mizuki – TRICKSTER (Last Week #14)
Nana falls three spots this week as it looks like she is spending her last days on the Countdown. She had a great run for a first timer, though.
16. Young Jeezy featuring Nas – My President Is Black (Last Week #15)
Jeezy and Nas fall a spot this week as it looks like the Snowman has hit kind of a slump Countdown wise. Maybe he can make a comeback…
15. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #17)
BLEACH IS ROCKING YOUR FACE! This arc plays the manga perfectly and combine that with a kickass intro and my favorite opening since Home Made Kazoku’s in the second arc. I so love this song.
14. Kanye West – Heartless (Last Week #12)
Kanye falls two spots this week as he has a new video out with one Kid CuDi who has grown on me even more lately. Hip hop may truly be back.
13. Aqua Timez - Velonica (Last Week # 10)
Aqua Timez falls this week but they HAVE A NEW FRICKING VIDEO! That is what I am talking about, people. Give me what I want and you shall be rewarded.
12. T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake – Dead and Gone (Last Week #18, Biggest Mover)
T.I. and J-Tim move up a huge six spots this week as T.I. looks for his fourth straight Top Ten video! J-Tim meanwhile hasn’t been in the Top Ten since 2006…with T.I. so it’s good to see things go full circle.
11. Joe Inoue – Closer (Last Week #8)
Joe Inoue falls from the Top Ten after coming so close to the top spot. A new video is out and it is a ballad. I have been in a ballad mood lately.
10. BoA - Eien (Last Week #13)
We have entered the Top 10 and BoA is back! This time in Japanese to boot! Just got the single and I must say it is quite worth the listen. Especially with Crystal Kay and Verbal on it. Mmm…Crystal Kay. Me like.
9. YA-KYIM respects KOME KOME CLUB – Kimi Ga Iru Dake De (Last Week #6, Four Weeks at #1)
YA-KYIM falls another three spots this week after a dominant run on top. I wonder if the tribute single is all we will hear from them for a while? I hope not; I miss my baby boos already!
8. UVERworld – 99/100 Damashi no Tetsu (Last Week #11)
UVERworld is back in the Top Ten! The question is: can they end the streak? It has been over two years since their last number one video and they have been close more times then they care to remember. Is this the video to end the drought?
7. John Legend – Everybody Knows (Last Week #9)
John Legend moves up two spots this week in what is kind of a subtle move. He has been quiet with his latest album, not causing the huge splash of Once Again that just ruled all.
6. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #3. One Week at #1)
RSP falls from the Top Five for the first time in two months despite being at number one for only a week. That is a feat in itself. I also got the single for their new video and it is totally growing on me.
5. B.o.B. – I’ll Be In The Sky (Last Week #7)
We are in the Top Five as B.o.B. moves up! He is looking good right now and I have to say that “Don’t Break My Heart” is one of my favorite songs right now. I want that to be the next single. And put Andre 3000 and Jim Jones on the remix! MAKE IT HAPPEN!
4. NERD – Sooner or Later (Last Week #2)
NERD came so close last week but this week they fall from the runner up spot! It has been a slow run for Pharrell and Co as their last album didn’t dominate like I expected it to. However, they came close and there is still time. We are down to three!
3. Jesse McCartney – It’s Over (Last Week #4)
J-Mac is STILL shocking the world as he moves into the Top Three! This song has been out for a minute and he currently has a new video so this video may be in trouble. Until then, enjoy yourselves.
2. BACK-ON – flyaway (Last Week #5)
BACK-ON is one step away! The bump up a huge three spots this week and land just short of their first official number one video! Great stuff from these guys and I have to say I am liking this more than the UVERworld song…BARELY. But if they want #1, they have to wait a week!
1. YA-KYIM respects SEAMO - SA IKOU! (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
For the second straight week, YA-KYIM holds the number one spot. I believe that this group has been at number one for officially HALF of the current year of 2009. Now that is dominance! I am so about this song (Makes the drive to Denver ALMOST tolerable) and I will be PISSED if they disappear for a long time. Until that day, they are number one again!
That is all for this Friday! Tune in next week to see if YA-KYIM can hold on to the top spot for a third week! Or can BACK-ON finally take the crown that has eluded them for three years? Or can Jesse McCartney pull another underdog upset and take the crown? See you in seven to find out!
Well, tomorrow it is supposed to rape the city of Denver in the evening with snow which is becoming common place so odds are there wont be an update until Sunday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Falling Out:
BoA – Eat You Up [Korean Version] (Peaked at #1 for Four Weeks)
NOOOOO! NOT BOA! Man, I don’t know how I am going to live. Well, let’s get started!
20. Ikimonogakari – Kimagure Romanteikku (Last Week #16)
It looks like the end for Ikimonogakari this week as they fall four spots to number twenty. Can they rebound with a new video soon?
19. Yuna Ito – Trust You (New Entry)
YES! YES YES! YES! YES YES! YES! Yuna Ito is back with a ballad and looking damn fine! If you hear this song and you don’t love it then there is no hope for your ass because she is fucking awesome and I LOVE HER. AND SHE IS BACK!
18. Abingdon Boys School - STRENGTH (Last Week #20)
ABS moves up two spots this week as they return to the world after a recent solo return from TM. Could we see a new album by the end of 2009? HELLS YEAH!
17. Nana Mizuki – TRICKSTER (Last Week #14)
Nana falls three spots this week as it looks like she is spending her last days on the Countdown. She had a great run for a first timer, though.
16. Young Jeezy featuring Nas – My President Is Black (Last Week #15)
Jeezy and Nas fall a spot this week as it looks like the Snowman has hit kind of a slump Countdown wise. Maybe he can make a comeback…
15. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #17)
BLEACH IS ROCKING YOUR FACE! This arc plays the manga perfectly and combine that with a kickass intro and my favorite opening since Home Made Kazoku’s in the second arc. I so love this song.
14. Kanye West – Heartless (Last Week #12)
Kanye falls two spots this week as he has a new video out with one Kid CuDi who has grown on me even more lately. Hip hop may truly be back.
13. Aqua Timez - Velonica (Last Week # 10)
Aqua Timez falls this week but they HAVE A NEW FRICKING VIDEO! That is what I am talking about, people. Give me what I want and you shall be rewarded.
12. T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake – Dead and Gone (Last Week #18, Biggest Mover)
T.I. and J-Tim move up a huge six spots this week as T.I. looks for his fourth straight Top Ten video! J-Tim meanwhile hasn’t been in the Top Ten since 2006…with T.I. so it’s good to see things go full circle.
11. Joe Inoue – Closer (Last Week #8)
Joe Inoue falls from the Top Ten after coming so close to the top spot. A new video is out and it is a ballad. I have been in a ballad mood lately.
10. BoA - Eien (Last Week #13)
We have entered the Top 10 and BoA is back! This time in Japanese to boot! Just got the single and I must say it is quite worth the listen. Especially with Crystal Kay and Verbal on it. Mmm…Crystal Kay. Me like.
9. YA-KYIM respects KOME KOME CLUB – Kimi Ga Iru Dake De (Last Week #6, Four Weeks at #1)
YA-KYIM falls another three spots this week after a dominant run on top. I wonder if the tribute single is all we will hear from them for a while? I hope not; I miss my baby boos already!
8. UVERworld – 99/100 Damashi no Tetsu (Last Week #11)
UVERworld is back in the Top Ten! The question is: can they end the streak? It has been over two years since their last number one video and they have been close more times then they care to remember. Is this the video to end the drought?
7. John Legend – Everybody Knows (Last Week #9)
John Legend moves up two spots this week in what is kind of a subtle move. He has been quiet with his latest album, not causing the huge splash of Once Again that just ruled all.
6. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #3. One Week at #1)
RSP falls from the Top Five for the first time in two months despite being at number one for only a week. That is a feat in itself. I also got the single for their new video and it is totally growing on me.
5. B.o.B. – I’ll Be In The Sky (Last Week #7)
We are in the Top Five as B.o.B. moves up! He is looking good right now and I have to say that “Don’t Break My Heart” is one of my favorite songs right now. I want that to be the next single. And put Andre 3000 and Jim Jones on the remix! MAKE IT HAPPEN!
4. NERD – Sooner or Later (Last Week #2)
NERD came so close last week but this week they fall from the runner up spot! It has been a slow run for Pharrell and Co as their last album didn’t dominate like I expected it to. However, they came close and there is still time. We are down to three!
3. Jesse McCartney – It’s Over (Last Week #4)
J-Mac is STILL shocking the world as he moves into the Top Three! This song has been out for a minute and he currently has a new video so this video may be in trouble. Until then, enjoy yourselves.
2. BACK-ON – flyaway (Last Week #5)
BACK-ON is one step away! The bump up a huge three spots this week and land just short of their first official number one video! Great stuff from these guys and I have to say I am liking this more than the UVERworld song…BARELY. But if they want #1, they have to wait a week!
1. YA-KYIM respects SEAMO - SA IKOU! (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
For the second straight week, YA-KYIM holds the number one spot. I believe that this group has been at number one for officially HALF of the current year of 2009. Now that is dominance! I am so about this song (Makes the drive to Denver ALMOST tolerable) and I will be PISSED if they disappear for a long time. Until that day, they are number one again!
That is all for this Friday! Tune in next week to see if YA-KYIM can hold on to the top spot for a third week! Or can BACK-ON finally take the crown that has eluded them for three years? Or can Jesse McCartney pull another underdog upset and take the crown? See you in seven to find out!
Well, tomorrow it is supposed to rape the city of Denver in the evening with snow which is becoming common place so odds are there wont be an update until Sunday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Friends: Making Me Do A Six Page Post Since...Today.
Alright people! It has been a while since I have done an Omnibus based off of the people. Mostly because…I hate the people. Today, I will give the people what they ask for…nay…what they DEMAND of the Passion of Chachi: half-assed answers to your dumb fucking questions. Yeah, you know you love it! So sit back and get ready for…
Passion of Chachi Omnibus Presents: The People’s Choice Part II: What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Answer, not a god damn thing. Anyway, these are all questions based off of people asking me in real life that I either didn’t answer fully or didn’t answer at all. So, if you see a question and it looks like you asked it of me then odds are you did. And awaaaaaaaaaaaay we go!
Question #1: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?/Why Don’t Nice Guys Exist?
You see, I COMBINE these questions because I want to illustrate the logical disconnect between men, women and FUCKING REALITY. You see, the concept of the “nice guy” was actually created by women to justify their dumb ass actions of dating men that fucked their sisters, lied to them as often as they greased their hair and treated them like overall crap. Rather than just saying “I picked an asshole because I was dumb as shit and should accept my dumbashittery” they place the blame on a “bad boy” and claim they can’t control their “emotions” because of them. When you lay it all down scientifically, it makes you sound dumb as shit, don’t it?
Now the “nice guy” phenomenon got started by dudes that were to chickenshit to actually approach women and do anything more than be their “platonic friend” in hopes she would see how great of a guy you were after realizing how poorly all the men she let invade her gullyhole were to her because she was just going after the wrong man. You would be the knight in shining armor to take her in after she had been used up like so many tissues after a screening of “Grave of the Fireflies” and you would live happily ever after. Not realizing you are just a FUCKING DOUCHEBAG WITHOUT THE BALLS TO BE A DOUCHEBAG BECAUSE YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON. Combine women who refuse to accept they like being treated like shit and wanting what they deem unattainable and men that are too much of a pussy to confront them on that and tell them what kind of person they are and how they will treat them and instead just play the three point line hoping for a John Paxton moment…and you have why nice guys finish last and don’t exist. Write it down, fuckers:
Women are fucking stupid and nice guys are fucking lying pussies.
There you go. It is simple really:
Women CRAVE attention
Nice guys GIVE attention
Therefore, a woman doesn’t WANT a nice guy because he gives her the attention she craves.
WAIT you say? Well, women are like cats. They want attention, but what happens when you go to pet a cat? It doesn’t want to be petted. However, act like you don’t NOTICE that cat and what happens? IT DEMANDS YOUR TIME AND YOU WILL ACKNOWLEDGE ITS PRESENCE:
Same with a woman. If you give her the attention she wants by either her dress, attitude or actions then she will most likely ignore you or not be interested in you because there is no challenge or desire. You automatically are interested in what she is giving. You see, as far as I am concerned all “nice guys” are just stalkers without the mad skills of espionage, deception and lock-picking (RESIDENT EVIL, FOOLS. LIVE IT). They put themselves in a role and kind of stay there in hopes of expecting a woman to see them for how they WANT to be seen on HER accord rather than letting her know how you SHOULD be seen on YOUR accord. Quite simply, nice guys expect women to show appreciation to them for being there for them when in essence…that makes you worse than a douchebag. OH, I SO WENT THERE. At least a douchebag is upfront with their douchebaggery. “Nice guys” expect women to fawn on them because they are the “anti-jerk” when actually you are a bigger jerk because that is the most out of control attitude when it comes to an ego since Dr. Doom’s speaking in the third person. Nice guys aren’t nice, they just aren’t overt douchebags and they think that equates “nice” but that is like someone who is a blatant racist and doesn’t call Asians “slant-eyed rice wine swillers to their face ISN’T A RACIST. You still are, you are just going about it in a less standoffish way which is worse than someone who is willing to go all out in their racism and wear a shirt that says “I Heart Honkeys” while singing “Good Old Boys” by Waylon Jennings and blogging about how Martin Luther King Jr. was a “rabble-rousing coon.” Now THAT’S racist.
Now I am not going to blame men for all of this because it shockingly isn’t all the man’s fault here. You see, women are fucking crazy. The Greeks knew it, the Carthaginians knew it, the Romans knew it, Ike Turner knew it and now you know it. Being crazy, women don’t know what they want or why they want it at any given time which is why a day like Valentine’s Day was created: to give their crazy asses focus. The folly with nice guys is that they made the mistake of listening to what a woman SAID (When will they learn! Women only speak in clicks and whistles and no one understands them!) rather than what they DID. They listened to women say they wanted a guy that listened to them and cared about their thoughts and just overall respected them. They took that and went “I can do that! If I do that I will get more Tang than a Chinese Triad member that loves orange drink!” So they changed their style to meet what women said…and were dead wrong. Women STILL went after douchebags, which were women’s ACTIONS. I can’t say they were lies, but I can say that for the age range you see this at (16-26 I will average) with the nice guy phenomenon vs. the douchebag phenomenon…douches win hands down because they may not be smart, but sometimes being dumb is the most effective strategy you can use when it comes to women because they are crazy.
I will end it like this in a way hopefully nice guys can understand and women can comprehend. Nice guys are like a Street Fighter 4 player that knows all the combos and strategies. They read the books and know all the juggles and strings and every move by heart. A douchebag…is a button masher. They just pick a character and wail away at the buttons until something happens that resembles a move. The don’t believe in blocking because they play Halo and Gears of War and health regenerates so they go all out. You ever seen a button masher against a person that knows all the moves? Not nescesarily a SKILLED player, but one that knows all the strategies? They usually win. Why? At the end of the day, the game is just six buttons and a joystick. Over thinking it just wastes time and leaves you vulnerable for a series of kicks to the face. How is THAT for kicking that knowledge?
As for women, the reason there are no nice guys left is the exact same reason why chivalry is dead: YOU FUCKING KILLED THEM ALL WITH YOUR CRAZINESS. You see, there is such thing as a “nice guy” but the problem is that a while back you probably dated him and treated him like shit for no reason. Or for a reason, who knows but the point is that the new nice guy is the jerk. You have met them. They usually don’t care about your presence and that pisses you off? They usually challenge you and prove you wrong on the things you say that nice guys say “you are so smart and/or funny!” to and douchebags just tell you how hot your tits look in that top. And that SO PISSES YOU OFF? Those were the guys that got pissed on in the late 90’s to mid 2000’s and decided they had enough. The guys you say are “rude” or “mean” or “insensitive” are the original nice guys back when it was NOT COOL to be the nice guy. Not nice to women, but nice to everyone in general…and they were considered gay. So now they don’t go to clubs and find women’s’ actions rather irritating so they just hang out with their friends and now all you are left with are borderline stalkers and fuckwit McGee’s and you complain why you can’t just find a nice guy. You broke them all, just like a kid that breaks all of their favorite toys for fun and realize all they have left are Go-Bots and Duplos. Hope you’re happy! And let’s keep this bus on track, shall we?
Question #2: Why Do People Expect Me To Be Married By Now? I Don’t NEED To Be Taken Care Of!
Well, people are stupid. That’s the cop out answer I gave you but let’s go a little more in depth. You see, I wager a large majority of people see love as something tangible. It has either a financial value or a material value to it. Love is based off what one person can provide and give first, then what they can give that is not quantifiable LATER. Now I may be wrong on this as a whole but I can only base this off of what I have seen and know of so take that into account. You see, I have yet to figure out how people can date for five years and then…just…stop. I mean what were you doing in those five years? Getting to know the person? Well, I don’t buy that excuse because there are people that get divorced over “irreconcilable differences” and I say to myself WHAT WERE YOU DOING WHILE YOU WERE DATING BECAUSE YOU SURE WEREN’T GETTING TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER?! I mean before you get married you should KNOW what things this person has going wrong with them and you should address that prior and decide if it is something that could cause your union to end. People DON’T do that or maybe they do and people just go batshit when they get married but if you get divorced because of something that isn’t an ass kicking or another person banging your mate then you didn’t do your job in the first place.
To answer the question, people expect you to be married because as The Joker said…it’s all part of the plan. Whether you think it’s God’s plan or whatever, the end goal of human beings has been ingrained in them since the beginning of time:
1. Grow up
2. Get Married
3. Have Babies
4. Die
That is pretty much it. As far as I am concerned, you have to actually GROW UP before you get married. Most people never pass that first part and some of you just skip to step three because you were stupid. You can hate if you want to but if you passed 7th grade health class and you still got pregnant and called it a surprise or a shock…you need to be put down like a feral dog. I’m sorry, but you cannot be allowed to be here anymore because you are a fucking moron. You know where babies come from and you took the risk so there is no being shocked. I think that is what it all boils down to and until recently I never thought about it like this.
I was watching The Amazing Athiest and he was talking about sacrifice when it came to working moms. Now I like The Amazing Atheist and agree with him and disagree with him but this was something that made me think. You see, people who are single are seen as selfish and not willing to sacrifice. They won’t settle down with one person and they won’t make more children so in essence they are going against the plan that makes them FREAKS. Really think about this, though. Who really sacrifices anymore? We as human being in the basic aspects try for figure out ways to mitigate sacrifice and work from the bottom rung. Look at a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Three parts: bread, peanut butter and jelly. Well we couldn’t put up with ALL THAT WORK so we made PBJ in one jar. Down to two steps. Then we said “FUCK THAT, I WANT IT NOW!” and we put the PBJ in a fucking premade pocket. How is THAT FOR SACRIFICE.
Now some of you will say that is petty and irrelevant. If you are then you are missing the big picture. Part of life is putting things together; building something if you will. You need a base and a foundation before you can build any house and that in my opinion is what growing up is. Finding yourself and who you are is the most important aspect of building a relationship because if you can’t help yourself, how can you help someone else? Most people will rush into a marriage without being fully aware of themselves just to get married and then they end up finding out about themselves (And the other person) in the process and realizing “maybe I rushed into this” when IF YOUWOULD HAVE DONE THE FUCKING RESEARCH YOU WOULDN’T HAVE HAD TO RETHINK ANYTHING IN THE FIRST PLACE. Like I stated before, some go directly into step three and that is the dumbest shit ever (YES, I SAID IT) because if you don’t know yourself and you can’t help another person how can you RAISE another person? A lot can be said for learning on the fly but you can’t fuck up raising a kid. We have seen several times what messing up a childhood can do to a kid. Now I am not saying that knowing yourself and knowing your partner makes you a better parent because life is dynamic, but it sure does help to run the offense if you know what plays you can run and where your receivers will be on third down.
In the end, you are dead on. You don’t need to be taken care of and you don’t need to be married. People want that because they think that is what everyone SHOULD want. I can honestly say that I know that I may or may not want kids. Depends on what my partner (Once I get enough money to by young Sun Hee from the catalog. We are in love!) wants and we will discuss that. However, marriage isn’t for some people. Kids aren’t for some people. That is what makes us who we are: our individuality. You find someone that closely resembles what you want out of life once you find out what you want and then you make a life together. That is what makes you happy, so you do that. If your parents love you, as long as you are living your life to its fullest, they shouldn’t have a problem with that. If they do, the its kind of the James Van Der Beek moment of I DON’T WANT YOUR LIFE:
You got to say it all Texas like, too. Complete the illusion. Home that helps.
Question #3: How Come No One Loves Me For Me?
Everyone wants to be loved for who they are. Shit aint gonna happen though.
Okay, I take that back. RARELY is that going to happen. That is kind of what love is: never having to say I didn’t mean to put it there. In all seriousness it is VERY RARE you will find someone that will love you for exactly how you are. People who say that are really just lying. Not in a bad way, they just love each other from what they KNOW about each other. If everyone knew everything about the person they were with, odds are they would never have dated or married them. That’s just life and it is normal. Have you ever bought a car and loved EVERYTHING about it? Have you ever had a job and loved EVERYTHING about it? You even had an experience with a stripper and loved EVERYTHING about it? NO, and that is okay! One thing about love is embracing the differences between you and your mate…as long as its…constitutional. Case in point: I love J-Pop and K-Pop. LOVE IT. I have withdrawals when I don’t watch some everyday. Hell, I don’t even know a lot of Japanese or Korean but I listen to it like Usher was singing it. Every woman (Save for one who…fuuuuuuuuuck, we won’t go into that right now) who I have been involved with HATED IT. I mean some of them got kind of pissy and indignant about it, too. If there is something in your life that you like and your partner doesn’t, that’s life. It is how you address your differences that determines the love that is there. Another case in point: back in college a girl I was dating LOVED Temptation Island. She just kept talking about it to the point it was like “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” but instead I thought:
If something interests her that much, I would like to know why”
Now I was young and stupid and know aware to the evil ways of women yet so I was open to this kind of thing. Later on I found out that nothing a woman does is worth doing ever (And the stuff I want to do she usually thinks is lame, illegal or “immoral”) but still. I sat back one day after class and we watched the show and you know what? I WAS FUCKING HOOKED. It was a great show and it was a great way to spend quality time (Again, I was young a stupid. Later I found out that women are the devil). However, she still hated EVERYTHING I did (Including Big Trouble In Little China which was kind of the deal breaker) but that is to be expected because what I like only like 12 people in the country like because I am kind of an odd duck. If I could find a girl that liked anime, pro wrestling, college football, musicals, vampire hunters, sock puppets, Bath and Body Works, applesauce, Zac Efron (HE IS SO DREAMY!), talking Milkshakes and of course disco I would be the happiest man alive. That shit aint gonna happen, nor do I want it to happen because odds are my head would explode from the awesomeness. That and I am sure I named off the traits of a gay man in Hartford which makes me want to cry. Not in the good way, in the bad way like after non-consensual anal sex. Wouldn’t it be a so much easier if I were a homosexual? Geez, I am kind of down on myself. Last one, people! Let’s make it count!
Question #4: Why Are You So Apathetic About Love All The Time?
It’s called a DEFENSE MECHANISM. You see, my goal is to take all the happiness I may feel out of a situation before it starts. It was like someone once told me:
“I live a life of total apathy. Yes, you miss out on the few ground-breaking and ecstatic highs, but you avoid the more plentiful earth-shattering and soul-crushing lows. It’s a fair trade I think.”
And how. I know it sounds like a bad way to look at things but let’s look at this logically here: a woman would have to be out of her fucking mind to think about dating me. I’m crazy in the head! Did you know that I am scared of dogs with floppy ears? Those fuckers are evil! How can you tell if a dog is listening to you if it’s ears aren’t up?! Odds are that little fucker is ignoring you! You cant tell if its surprised or anything! Just one day it gnaws your face off and the police ask you “well, didn’t you see his ears turn up?!” and all you can say is no!
Secondly, and most importantly I have learned that placing stock in people is the worst place to put it. You need to find a pet or an investment firm or some shit because putting emotional stock in another person is the easiest way to fuck your shit up. Then I need an emotional bailout from the Bank of Soju and Karaoke and the only person that was good for was Jinro. Someone will get that joke and if you do you are fucking AWESOME. I guess the biggest reason…wait, this is a monumental moment here. This needs a soundtrack:
FUCK YES. Okay, here is the answer to the eternal question: why am I such a fucking jerk. The reason is…I let it happen. You see, there comes a point when you have to hold yourself accountable for the shit that has happened to you. Women, please take note of that and quit yer bitchin about how men do you wrong when you put yourself right in that situation all the time. Just saying. I can sit back and say “FUCK YOU BITCH! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT I’M UNHAPPY!” but I don’t because:
1. I’m Not Unhappy: People take my humor and logic for anger and distrust. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. I love women and think they are great. I don’t trust them or take anything they say at face value but I follow that rule with everyone. People suck, woman or man.
2. It’s My Own Fool Fault: It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. If you listen to it and believe it when you know it aint true, you are more at fault than the liar. Marinate on that.
3. I’m No Walk In The Park: Ask my friends whether I am easy to deal with. I know damn well I am a DIFFICULT person to get along with a lot of times so how can I be mad because a person was difficult to deal with as well. I was no victim; I was just as much of an asshole most of the time. Hard to believe, I will admit.
4. It’s Life: E-40 once said you gotta chalk it up as a loss and charge it to the game. The Bank of Chachi accepts those loans and pays them every month, plus principle.
In the end, this isn’t much of an answer but I don’t believe I am down on love as much as I try to use situational logic as often as possible. I notice not a lot of people do that (Like, none of you but I can’t complain because I have been there) but at the same time, I was once told that everyone believes what they are doing is logical but it usually is never rational. Just because you are in “love” doesn’t mean you suspend common sense. Maybe I rely on rational thought too often and that is why I seem so down. It is like the Tick said about sanity:
“And, isn't sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you're good and crazy, oooh, oooh, oooh, the sky is the limit.”
Now that’s a quote to live your life by. If you want to follow the musings of a 7-foot tall invulnerable superhero that may or may not have eight legs. Which I DO.
Well, that is all for now. Countdown tomorrow! Four words…YUNA ITO IS BACK! Until then, stay up.
Chachi Out
Passion of Chachi Omnibus Presents: The People’s Choice Part II: What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Answer, not a god damn thing. Anyway, these are all questions based off of people asking me in real life that I either didn’t answer fully or didn’t answer at all. So, if you see a question and it looks like you asked it of me then odds are you did. And awaaaaaaaaaaaay we go!
Question #1: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?/Why Don’t Nice Guys Exist?
You see, I COMBINE these questions because I want to illustrate the logical disconnect between men, women and FUCKING REALITY. You see, the concept of the “nice guy” was actually created by women to justify their dumb ass actions of dating men that fucked their sisters, lied to them as often as they greased their hair and treated them like overall crap. Rather than just saying “I picked an asshole because I was dumb as shit and should accept my dumbashittery” they place the blame on a “bad boy” and claim they can’t control their “emotions” because of them. When you lay it all down scientifically, it makes you sound dumb as shit, don’t it?
Now the “nice guy” phenomenon got started by dudes that were to chickenshit to actually approach women and do anything more than be their “platonic friend” in hopes she would see how great of a guy you were after realizing how poorly all the men she let invade her gullyhole were to her because she was just going after the wrong man. You would be the knight in shining armor to take her in after she had been used up like so many tissues after a screening of “Grave of the Fireflies” and you would live happily ever after. Not realizing you are just a FUCKING DOUCHEBAG WITHOUT THE BALLS TO BE A DOUCHEBAG BECAUSE YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON. Combine women who refuse to accept they like being treated like shit and wanting what they deem unattainable and men that are too much of a pussy to confront them on that and tell them what kind of person they are and how they will treat them and instead just play the three point line hoping for a John Paxton moment…and you have why nice guys finish last and don’t exist. Write it down, fuckers:
Women are fucking stupid and nice guys are fucking lying pussies.
There you go. It is simple really:
Women CRAVE attention
Nice guys GIVE attention
Therefore, a woman doesn’t WANT a nice guy because he gives her the attention she craves.
WAIT you say? Well, women are like cats. They want attention, but what happens when you go to pet a cat? It doesn’t want to be petted. However, act like you don’t NOTICE that cat and what happens? IT DEMANDS YOUR TIME AND YOU WILL ACKNOWLEDGE ITS PRESENCE:
Same with a woman. If you give her the attention she wants by either her dress, attitude or actions then she will most likely ignore you or not be interested in you because there is no challenge or desire. You automatically are interested in what she is giving. You see, as far as I am concerned all “nice guys” are just stalkers without the mad skills of espionage, deception and lock-picking (RESIDENT EVIL, FOOLS. LIVE IT). They put themselves in a role and kind of stay there in hopes of expecting a woman to see them for how they WANT to be seen on HER accord rather than letting her know how you SHOULD be seen on YOUR accord. Quite simply, nice guys expect women to show appreciation to them for being there for them when in essence…that makes you worse than a douchebag. OH, I SO WENT THERE. At least a douchebag is upfront with their douchebaggery. “Nice guys” expect women to fawn on them because they are the “anti-jerk” when actually you are a bigger jerk because that is the most out of control attitude when it comes to an ego since Dr. Doom’s speaking in the third person. Nice guys aren’t nice, they just aren’t overt douchebags and they think that equates “nice” but that is like someone who is a blatant racist and doesn’t call Asians “slant-eyed rice wine swillers to their face ISN’T A RACIST. You still are, you are just going about it in a less standoffish way which is worse than someone who is willing to go all out in their racism and wear a shirt that says “I Heart Honkeys” while singing “Good Old Boys” by Waylon Jennings and blogging about how Martin Luther King Jr. was a “rabble-rousing coon.” Now THAT’S racist.
Now I am not going to blame men for all of this because it shockingly isn’t all the man’s fault here. You see, women are fucking crazy. The Greeks knew it, the Carthaginians knew it, the Romans knew it, Ike Turner knew it and now you know it. Being crazy, women don’t know what they want or why they want it at any given time which is why a day like Valentine’s Day was created: to give their crazy asses focus. The folly with nice guys is that they made the mistake of listening to what a woman SAID (When will they learn! Women only speak in clicks and whistles and no one understands them!) rather than what they DID. They listened to women say they wanted a guy that listened to them and cared about their thoughts and just overall respected them. They took that and went “I can do that! If I do that I will get more Tang than a Chinese Triad member that loves orange drink!” So they changed their style to meet what women said…and were dead wrong. Women STILL went after douchebags, which were women’s ACTIONS. I can’t say they were lies, but I can say that for the age range you see this at (16-26 I will average) with the nice guy phenomenon vs. the douchebag phenomenon…douches win hands down because they may not be smart, but sometimes being dumb is the most effective strategy you can use when it comes to women because they are crazy.
I will end it like this in a way hopefully nice guys can understand and women can comprehend. Nice guys are like a Street Fighter 4 player that knows all the combos and strategies. They read the books and know all the juggles and strings and every move by heart. A douchebag…is a button masher. They just pick a character and wail away at the buttons until something happens that resembles a move. The don’t believe in blocking because they play Halo and Gears of War and health regenerates so they go all out. You ever seen a button masher against a person that knows all the moves? Not nescesarily a SKILLED player, but one that knows all the strategies? They usually win. Why? At the end of the day, the game is just six buttons and a joystick. Over thinking it just wastes time and leaves you vulnerable for a series of kicks to the face. How is THAT for kicking that knowledge?
As for women, the reason there are no nice guys left is the exact same reason why chivalry is dead: YOU FUCKING KILLED THEM ALL WITH YOUR CRAZINESS. You see, there is such thing as a “nice guy” but the problem is that a while back you probably dated him and treated him like shit for no reason. Or for a reason, who knows but the point is that the new nice guy is the jerk. You have met them. They usually don’t care about your presence and that pisses you off? They usually challenge you and prove you wrong on the things you say that nice guys say “you are so smart and/or funny!” to and douchebags just tell you how hot your tits look in that top. And that SO PISSES YOU OFF? Those were the guys that got pissed on in the late 90’s to mid 2000’s and decided they had enough. The guys you say are “rude” or “mean” or “insensitive” are the original nice guys back when it was NOT COOL to be the nice guy. Not nice to women, but nice to everyone in general…and they were considered gay. So now they don’t go to clubs and find women’s’ actions rather irritating so they just hang out with their friends and now all you are left with are borderline stalkers and fuckwit McGee’s and you complain why you can’t just find a nice guy. You broke them all, just like a kid that breaks all of their favorite toys for fun and realize all they have left are Go-Bots and Duplos. Hope you’re happy! And let’s keep this bus on track, shall we?
Question #2: Why Do People Expect Me To Be Married By Now? I Don’t NEED To Be Taken Care Of!
Well, people are stupid. That’s the cop out answer I gave you but let’s go a little more in depth. You see, I wager a large majority of people see love as something tangible. It has either a financial value or a material value to it. Love is based off what one person can provide and give first, then what they can give that is not quantifiable LATER. Now I may be wrong on this as a whole but I can only base this off of what I have seen and know of so take that into account. You see, I have yet to figure out how people can date for five years and then…just…stop. I mean what were you doing in those five years? Getting to know the person? Well, I don’t buy that excuse because there are people that get divorced over “irreconcilable differences” and I say to myself WHAT WERE YOU DOING WHILE YOU WERE DATING BECAUSE YOU SURE WEREN’T GETTING TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER?! I mean before you get married you should KNOW what things this person has going wrong with them and you should address that prior and decide if it is something that could cause your union to end. People DON’T do that or maybe they do and people just go batshit when they get married but if you get divorced because of something that isn’t an ass kicking or another person banging your mate then you didn’t do your job in the first place.
To answer the question, people expect you to be married because as The Joker said…it’s all part of the plan. Whether you think it’s God’s plan or whatever, the end goal of human beings has been ingrained in them since the beginning of time:
1. Grow up
2. Get Married
3. Have Babies
4. Die
That is pretty much it. As far as I am concerned, you have to actually GROW UP before you get married. Most people never pass that first part and some of you just skip to step three because you were stupid. You can hate if you want to but if you passed 7th grade health class and you still got pregnant and called it a surprise or a shock…you need to be put down like a feral dog. I’m sorry, but you cannot be allowed to be here anymore because you are a fucking moron. You know where babies come from and you took the risk so there is no being shocked. I think that is what it all boils down to and until recently I never thought about it like this.
I was watching The Amazing Athiest and he was talking about sacrifice when it came to working moms. Now I like The Amazing Atheist and agree with him and disagree with him but this was something that made me think. You see, people who are single are seen as selfish and not willing to sacrifice. They won’t settle down with one person and they won’t make more children so in essence they are going against the plan that makes them FREAKS. Really think about this, though. Who really sacrifices anymore? We as human being in the basic aspects try for figure out ways to mitigate sacrifice and work from the bottom rung. Look at a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Three parts: bread, peanut butter and jelly. Well we couldn’t put up with ALL THAT WORK so we made PBJ in one jar. Down to two steps. Then we said “FUCK THAT, I WANT IT NOW!” and we put the PBJ in a fucking premade pocket. How is THAT FOR SACRIFICE.
Now some of you will say that is petty and irrelevant. If you are then you are missing the big picture. Part of life is putting things together; building something if you will. You need a base and a foundation before you can build any house and that in my opinion is what growing up is. Finding yourself and who you are is the most important aspect of building a relationship because if you can’t help yourself, how can you help someone else? Most people will rush into a marriage without being fully aware of themselves just to get married and then they end up finding out about themselves (And the other person) in the process and realizing “maybe I rushed into this” when IF YOUWOULD HAVE DONE THE FUCKING RESEARCH YOU WOULDN’T HAVE HAD TO RETHINK ANYTHING IN THE FIRST PLACE. Like I stated before, some go directly into step three and that is the dumbest shit ever (YES, I SAID IT) because if you don’t know yourself and you can’t help another person how can you RAISE another person? A lot can be said for learning on the fly but you can’t fuck up raising a kid. We have seen several times what messing up a childhood can do to a kid. Now I am not saying that knowing yourself and knowing your partner makes you a better parent because life is dynamic, but it sure does help to run the offense if you know what plays you can run and where your receivers will be on third down.
In the end, you are dead on. You don’t need to be taken care of and you don’t need to be married. People want that because they think that is what everyone SHOULD want. I can honestly say that I know that I may or may not want kids. Depends on what my partner (Once I get enough money to by young Sun Hee from the catalog. We are in love!) wants and we will discuss that. However, marriage isn’t for some people. Kids aren’t for some people. That is what makes us who we are: our individuality. You find someone that closely resembles what you want out of life once you find out what you want and then you make a life together. That is what makes you happy, so you do that. If your parents love you, as long as you are living your life to its fullest, they shouldn’t have a problem with that. If they do, the its kind of the James Van Der Beek moment of I DON’T WANT YOUR LIFE:
You got to say it all Texas like, too. Complete the illusion. Home that helps.
Question #3: How Come No One Loves Me For Me?
Everyone wants to be loved for who they are. Shit aint gonna happen though.
Okay, I take that back. RARELY is that going to happen. That is kind of what love is: never having to say I didn’t mean to put it there. In all seriousness it is VERY RARE you will find someone that will love you for exactly how you are. People who say that are really just lying. Not in a bad way, they just love each other from what they KNOW about each other. If everyone knew everything about the person they were with, odds are they would never have dated or married them. That’s just life and it is normal. Have you ever bought a car and loved EVERYTHING about it? Have you ever had a job and loved EVERYTHING about it? You even had an experience with a stripper and loved EVERYTHING about it? NO, and that is okay! One thing about love is embracing the differences between you and your mate…as long as its…constitutional. Case in point: I love J-Pop and K-Pop. LOVE IT. I have withdrawals when I don’t watch some everyday. Hell, I don’t even know a lot of Japanese or Korean but I listen to it like Usher was singing it. Every woman (Save for one who…fuuuuuuuuuck, we won’t go into that right now) who I have been involved with HATED IT. I mean some of them got kind of pissy and indignant about it, too. If there is something in your life that you like and your partner doesn’t, that’s life. It is how you address your differences that determines the love that is there. Another case in point: back in college a girl I was dating LOVED Temptation Island. She just kept talking about it to the point it was like “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” but instead I thought:
If something interests her that much, I would like to know why”
Now I was young and stupid and know aware to the evil ways of women yet so I was open to this kind of thing. Later on I found out that nothing a woman does is worth doing ever (And the stuff I want to do she usually thinks is lame, illegal or “immoral”) but still. I sat back one day after class and we watched the show and you know what? I WAS FUCKING HOOKED. It was a great show and it was a great way to spend quality time (Again, I was young a stupid. Later I found out that women are the devil). However, she still hated EVERYTHING I did (Including Big Trouble In Little China which was kind of the deal breaker) but that is to be expected because what I like only like 12 people in the country like because I am kind of an odd duck. If I could find a girl that liked anime, pro wrestling, college football, musicals, vampire hunters, sock puppets, Bath and Body Works, applesauce, Zac Efron (HE IS SO DREAMY!), talking Milkshakes and of course disco I would be the happiest man alive. That shit aint gonna happen, nor do I want it to happen because odds are my head would explode from the awesomeness. That and I am sure I named off the traits of a gay man in Hartford which makes me want to cry. Not in the good way, in the bad way like after non-consensual anal sex. Wouldn’t it be a so much easier if I were a homosexual? Geez, I am kind of down on myself. Last one, people! Let’s make it count!
Question #4: Why Are You So Apathetic About Love All The Time?
It’s called a DEFENSE MECHANISM. You see, my goal is to take all the happiness I may feel out of a situation before it starts. It was like someone once told me:
“I live a life of total apathy. Yes, you miss out on the few ground-breaking and ecstatic highs, but you avoid the more plentiful earth-shattering and soul-crushing lows. It’s a fair trade I think.”
And how. I know it sounds like a bad way to look at things but let’s look at this logically here: a woman would have to be out of her fucking mind to think about dating me. I’m crazy in the head! Did you know that I am scared of dogs with floppy ears? Those fuckers are evil! How can you tell if a dog is listening to you if it’s ears aren’t up?! Odds are that little fucker is ignoring you! You cant tell if its surprised or anything! Just one day it gnaws your face off and the police ask you “well, didn’t you see his ears turn up?!” and all you can say is no!
Secondly, and most importantly I have learned that placing stock in people is the worst place to put it. You need to find a pet or an investment firm or some shit because putting emotional stock in another person is the easiest way to fuck your shit up. Then I need an emotional bailout from the Bank of Soju and Karaoke and the only person that was good for was Jinro. Someone will get that joke and if you do you are fucking AWESOME. I guess the biggest reason…wait, this is a monumental moment here. This needs a soundtrack:
FUCK YES. Okay, here is the answer to the eternal question: why am I such a fucking jerk. The reason is…I let it happen. You see, there comes a point when you have to hold yourself accountable for the shit that has happened to you. Women, please take note of that and quit yer bitchin about how men do you wrong when you put yourself right in that situation all the time. Just saying. I can sit back and say “FUCK YOU BITCH! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT I’M UNHAPPY!” but I don’t because:
1. I’m Not Unhappy: People take my humor and logic for anger and distrust. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. I love women and think they are great. I don’t trust them or take anything they say at face value but I follow that rule with everyone. People suck, woman or man.
2. It’s My Own Fool Fault: It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. If you listen to it and believe it when you know it aint true, you are more at fault than the liar. Marinate on that.
3. I’m No Walk In The Park: Ask my friends whether I am easy to deal with. I know damn well I am a DIFFICULT person to get along with a lot of times so how can I be mad because a person was difficult to deal with as well. I was no victim; I was just as much of an asshole most of the time. Hard to believe, I will admit.
4. It’s Life: E-40 once said you gotta chalk it up as a loss and charge it to the game. The Bank of Chachi accepts those loans and pays them every month, plus principle.
In the end, this isn’t much of an answer but I don’t believe I am down on love as much as I try to use situational logic as often as possible. I notice not a lot of people do that (Like, none of you but I can’t complain because I have been there) but at the same time, I was once told that everyone believes what they are doing is logical but it usually is never rational. Just because you are in “love” doesn’t mean you suspend common sense. Maybe I rely on rational thought too often and that is why I seem so down. It is like the Tick said about sanity:
“And, isn't sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you're good and crazy, oooh, oooh, oooh, the sky is the limit.”
Now that’s a quote to live your life by. If you want to follow the musings of a 7-foot tall invulnerable superhero that may or may not have eight legs. Which I DO.
Well, that is all for now. Countdown tomorrow! Four words…YUNA ITO IS BACK! Until then, stay up.
Chachi Out
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)