What is up, people! It is Sunday and sadly since all the movies (except ‘Surfs Up’ which I heard was pretty good) sucked it dry this weekend there will sadly be no Master Chief Captain Chachi Goes Hollywood this week. However, next week I will be in the theater to see Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. I really….don’t know why, but I will be there. I for some reason am interested to see whole quasi-Super-Skrull plotline is going to work. Rather than just USING the damn Super-Skrull. But hey, to each their own.
Now that I have calmed down about the job situation (things worked out and it is what it is for everything else) it is time to do something that I have wanted to do for a long time. I have been receiving a lot of questions and several things have come up that I am SO going to comment on as I bring to you the FIRST OF…like…two, maybe three…
PASSION OF CHACHI OMNIBUS!
Ahh, ‘Ask A Ninja’. Is there anything you can’t do? Of course not, he is a fucking NIN-JA! Can I get a blang-blang?! So let’s get this party started right!
Why do you hate bros so much?
Because they suck. Seriously, in real time and each other. They ruined Axe Body Spray, polo shirts and visors for the rest of us. By the way, what in the fuck is the point of wearing a visor upside down, anyway? Black people did it for like a week after Serena and Venus Williams took off and then bros just took it and ran with that bitch. Oh, and ‘shaaaa!’ isn’t a FUCKING WORD YOU ASSHOLES! God, I despise them. Oh, and Halo doesn’t kick that much ass. Curb the hard-ons, save them for the all night Jack Johnson listening/ass rape sessions.
What is with the Yuna Ito obsession?
She is fucking hot, that’s why. I mean these women are devaluing themselves at an alarming rate much like those dumb females that are supporting Paris Hilton right now. She broke the law, she was given a sentence and she needs to deal with it. The end. That bitch couldn’t give two shits about your copy-cat ass, anyway. Anyway, back to Miss Ito. She can:
• Sing (Which 90% of her American competition can’t do. Looking at Christina, Jennifer Hudson…um…Kelly Clarkson and….um…that’s about it. Wow, the state of female pop is worse than R&B as a fucking whole)
• Dance (Which 95% of her American competition can’t do…without looking like strippers anyway. Rhianna, I am looking at your funny nosed, steroid using ass)
• Speak three languages (Japanese, Korean and English. Oh and Hawaiian but I don’t consider that a laungage. Guess what...YOU ARE FUCKING AMERICANS! DEAL WITH IT! Just kidding, I respect your culture and blah-blah-blah yakkity smackity)
• Look HAWT in an evening gown (Okay, I will give a little higher nod to Mandy Moore. Because….I love her and she WILL LOVE ME. Wow, Jen is right. I am kind of creepy)
• Look HAWTER in regular clothes (Watch the ‘Losin’ video. Just watch it and keep your hands on the keyboard)
To top it all off, she is Asian. And as you know, it goes Asian, Latina, every other race and then right under the green bitches that Captain Kirk wrecked is Black woman. It’s just better for both of us that way. Which brings me to my next question I have been asked a few times.
Do You REALLY Hate Black Women?
The quick answer is ‘no’. I have nothing against Black women at all, they’s cool. The long answer is that my experiences have been less than stellar with Black women (and…well, women in general for that matter) both casually and relationship wise. Yes, I make jokes about how much I don’t like them and there is truth in that humor. They really DON’T like me because I am not ‘real’ or a ‘thug’ and that is fine. A total personal preference. At the same time, they bitch and comlain about not wanting a ‘strong, Black woman’ because the majority of my friends are white (about 4 of the 9) and most importantly I am never seen with a Black woman. Well, I was in college (she was cool, too) but SHE was dating a WHITE MAN! How is THAT for in your face?! See, life can be Shakespeare. The simple fact is that I don’t ‘hate’ Black women because I am not around them enough to say so. I am not a fan of my past (and few current) interactions with Black women and from that is where my humor and comments come from. That and I have been called ‘uppity’ by more than three Black women (people still USE THAT WORD?) and I still hold a grudge. Eh, thems the breaks. Keep your hands inside the Chachi-mobile at all times because we are rolling on!
What Do You Feel About The War?
It’s still going on?! Wow…Paris Hilton really IS dominating the news. I guess when it all breaks down….I’m for the war and against the troops. That way, everyone is pissed off! Did you pack your lunch? Because we are going to SCHOOL, BITCHES!
What Is Your Stance On Abortion?
Hell, it’s easier than toddler murder. FREE HAT! FREE HAT! Too far? I have not yet begun to offend! Just kidding, I really don’t care. I can’t pop out babies, not do I want to. All I can say is that I chose life for Kandice and my children and it was the WORST FUCKING MISTAKE I EVER MADE! They ruined my figure, she left me for someone else and those fuckers have been a thorn in my side ever since! Killing kids and it not being considered 1st degree murder? Fan-fricking-tastic! Again, kidding. Don’t believe those Focus on the Family commercials about abortion being murder because the fetus is living. People don’t have souls until they are 12 years old. It’s fucking science. Until then, they are fair game. You know, I believe that abortion is a low-grade version of manifest destiny. Ye without a flag and cannot speak the language of those in power have no choice in what happens. Apply that to abortion…I’m just saying it makes perfect sense, okay?! Geez, let’s keep this party MOVIN, MOVIN!
Is Your Luck With Women Really That Bad?
Rick? Zach? Kandice? Griff? Anyone want to speak up about this? The answer is yes and no. Yes because I am born to undo myself. Hell, I am in the SAME situation now that I was in a year ago at this time. Which means my life sucks ‘teh balls’ but at the same time…I have to say no. I mean I am TOTALLY oblivious to my surroundings despite my genius. Odds are that I am missing on women hitting on me because there is no way in FUCK I could be this unpopular. I mean, people like me? Kind of. It’s not like high school where I was just kind there. I mean I’m rather social (no matter what women have said about me being anti-social) and personable. I don’t call women ‘bitch’ or ‘whore’ unless they are. I shower everyday and try to dress like I don’t pattern myself after a Young Jeezy video. I have a rather extensive vocabulary and since I do get more that 4 readers to my blog a day I would have to say I’m rather funny. So why in the hell do the a-holes get the chicks?! Eh, I don’t know but I have my theories. Doesn’t matter, none of this matters. However, at the end of the day I haven’t been hit with mace in a few months and I have only had two…three girls cry on me in the last 9 months so I am doing pretty damn sweet on the lady side! Aim low, never disappointed. Commercial break!
Poison and Crossfire? Fuck yeah! Now for a question that has been asked A LOT over the last six months that I addressed earlier but niggas don’t read…
Chachi, Are You ‘Teh Gay’?
No. Flat out, no. What I enjoy may be in line with what people associate with behavior and the lifestyle of the gay community (grooming, theater, complete sentences, etc.) but a major component of what makes you ‘gay’ is gay sex. Not sure about you, but that doesn’t appeal to me no matter HOW hawt Bi is, and he is Pompeii if you get my drift. Hell, straight sex is a conundrum to me and I have the manuals! I like what I like and I talk about what I talk about. Seeing as how I have been asked no less than twelve times (that I remember so it was probably more, but as people can attest to I was a total lush last year so 2006 was a fucking mish mash montage set to ‘Bad Day’ by Daniel Powter’) whether I am gay or not in a public, social or professional atmosphere I am beginning to see that what I do and how I act aren’t perceived as ‘normal’ for a man, especially at my age and single. You know what? I don’t care. Never really have but it gets annoying to have to hear the question every other day. I mean I joke about it all the time but it has gotten to the point that I am so far from the male norm that if I were bust out of the closet like Kool-Aid no one would bat an eye. To which I say ‘suck it dry’ because Wicked was FUCKING AWESOME, I like Garnier Fructis (does wonders for your ends!), Matthew McConaughey is FUCKING HAWT and SoulDecision is one of the best pop bands of our time!
Singing SoulDecision with another man on the way to get Chinese is not gay. Quit hating.
Well, that is all for the Passion of Chachi Omnibus! I will do some here and there, depending on the questions that come my way. The majority of these were addressed last year on my Blogger site but I redid them for the peeps that just got into this thing…all five of you. Welcome to the site! Come for the offensive humor, stay for the punch and pie! I will try to be up before Friday’s Countdown but until then stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Friday, June 08, 2007
The Pack is a Mother Fucker! A DAMN MOTHER FUCKER!
Hey peeps. New blog/Countdown up today. I know you love it (or not so much).
So why in the hell would someone go through three interviews to be told 'We decided to go with someone with more (fill in blank here) experience.'
At what point during THREE interviews do you say 'This nigga just doesnt have it! I mean he answered all the questions correctly but...sprinkle some crack on him and lets hire the white guy that went to Dartmouth!' I swear if I dont have the credentials, dont interview me. It's that fucking simple. If you are looking for something that isnt on the job description PUT IN THE FUCK IN THERE, A-HOLES! If your job description is vague, you are going to get a LOT of people applying for the job that have no fucking idea what it is.
Albeit I DID know what the job is and I DO have compensation and sales operations experience but that is beside the point. I guess I shouldnt have answered the 'where do you see your self with the company in five years' with 'not fucking with it, bitch! i'll be ballin out of control!' To all the under 21 crowd that read this...not the best answer to give. I'm just saying.
Oh, and if I am the 'token negro' interview just tell me. I wont get mad, I will be rather flattered. There are a lot of unqualified darkies out there and I would be glad you chose me. Ungrateful little pink monkeys! I swear, the only thing more racist than NOT hiring someone because they are black and qualified is to interview them when they are black and UN-FUCKING-QUALIFIED. This isnt what affirmative action is for, fucktards. Gawd I am so pissed off I cant think straight.
Well, I have to head back to work. I came home because I was ready to grab my Manasume and go on a rampage, Sephiroth style.
Hell, I have the fucking 'One Winged Angel' on CD in my car somewhere. I knew I had that shit for a reason. Eh, I've calmed down a bit. Be back with a blog this Sunday hopefully.
Working is for chumps!
So why in the hell would someone go through three interviews to be told 'We decided to go with someone with more (fill in blank here) experience.'
At what point during THREE interviews do you say 'This nigga just doesnt have it! I mean he answered all the questions correctly but...sprinkle some crack on him and lets hire the white guy that went to Dartmouth!' I swear if I dont have the credentials, dont interview me. It's that fucking simple. If you are looking for something that isnt on the job description PUT IN THE FUCK IN THERE, A-HOLES! If your job description is vague, you are going to get a LOT of people applying for the job that have no fucking idea what it is.
Albeit I DID know what the job is and I DO have compensation and sales operations experience but that is beside the point. I guess I shouldnt have answered the 'where do you see your self with the company in five years' with 'not fucking with it, bitch! i'll be ballin out of control!' To all the under 21 crowd that read this...not the best answer to give. I'm just saying.
Oh, and if I am the 'token negro' interview just tell me. I wont get mad, I will be rather flattered. There are a lot of unqualified darkies out there and I would be glad you chose me. Ungrateful little pink monkeys! I swear, the only thing more racist than NOT hiring someone because they are black and qualified is to interview them when they are black and UN-FUCKING-QUALIFIED. This isnt what affirmative action is for, fucktards. Gawd I am so pissed off I cant think straight.
Well, I have to head back to work. I came home because I was ready to grab my Manasume and go on a rampage, Sephiroth style.
Hell, I have the fucking 'One Winged Angel' on CD in my car somewhere. I knew I had that shit for a reason. Eh, I've calmed down a bit. Be back with a blog this Sunday hopefully.
Working is for chumps!
Thursday, June 07, 2007
My Mom Says I'm A Catch!
What is up people?! It is so Friday and it is SO PAY DAY! You know what that means? Possible DENVER PAR-TEEEEEE! YEAH! But before I blow all my money on rum, pool, rum and maybe some trivia at D&B’s I have to bring you the Friday staple...
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let’s get started with a new entry this week!
20. Enrique Iglesias – Do You Know (New Entry)
ENRIQUE GOT RID OF THE MOLE! Man, now he looks more like Ricky Martin. It was the only way I could tell them apart. Anyway, welcome back to the pop world! Not going to lie to you, I like Enrique and I think this video is rather funny. That and this song kicks ass! Welcome to the Countdown!
19. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (Last Week #16)
So it looks like UVERworlds 4th video on the Countdown is on its way out. It was their first video not to make it to #1, but that is nothing to be disappointed about.
18. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (New Entry)
Unh, Sweet Jones! UGK is back on the scene and they decided to bring Outkast with them! This song has been on my playlist since I first heard it (Andre Three Stacks spoken word may be the verse of the year) and the video has Pimp C dressed as a pimp…hence his name. That alone puts it on here. Add in Bun B (UNDERRATED) and Big Boi (ditto!) and you have a surprising hip-hop classic! And welcome back to Big Boi (‘Margaritas’ with Sleepy Brown and Pharrell went to #1 last year)
17. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #15, four weeks at #1)
Looks like Mr. Legend’s days are numbered on the Countdown. Hopefully, with Kanye going on tour soon to support his new album he will be on the road again since I missed him in April.
16. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (Last Week #19)
Just got Daddy Yankee’s new album! Aaaaaaand I don’t understand a word. However, just like Rebelde it is fucking awesome. Music is the universal language, peeps! Also, this video moves up three big places. It must be hard, seeing as how Daddy is lugging around another man in Fergie. But I digress.
15. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #17)
So the classic j-rockers (If you consider 18 years or so classic) move up two spots this week with their truly weird video. Here is to hoping for a new album from these guys soon!
14. Kumi Koda – Get Up & Move! (Last Week #11)
NEW VIDEO FROM KUMI KODA! And…I am shocked. It is called ‘FREAKY’ and there is nothing freaky about it! BOOOOO! I’m just saying; if you name the song ‘FREAKY’ you should give us what you advertise dammit! She has another video for ‘Run For Your Life’ which according to the preview looks ‘Birthday Eve’ like which means it will be damn awesome. Stay tuned!
13. M-Flo feat. Crystal Kay – Love Don’t Cry (Last Week #13)
For the THIRD WEEK M-Flo and Crystal Kay are staying put at #13. M-Flo just released his album but any word on Crystal Kay? I am waiting for that bad boy because her last album was pretty damn good. GIMME SOME CRYSTAL!
12. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #14)
So The King of the South heads north two spaces this week as he looks for his third #1 video with this one. Well, I am still waiting for the album and hopefully it will be a ‘two singles at once’ thing. With Fiddy pushing his shitty album back the summer could belong to TI!
11. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #9, one week at #1)
We are one step from the Top 10 and we have Yui outside for the first time since Valentine’s Day! That was a pretty lengthy stay in the upper half and even though she has a new video I still love this video and song. Much like Bi before her she suffers the wrath of my attachment to a song. Now, into the Top 10!
10. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #12)
And what a way to start! The ladies of Foxxi MisQ have their first Top 10 video after only three weeks! I don’t care, these ladies are quite the nice. AND THEY HAVE A NEW VIDEO WHICH IS JUST AS HOT! Oh, and their album is out at the end of this month! Daughtry may have some competition for the Best New Artist Chachi Award!
9. Fall Out Boy – Thnks Fr Th Mmrs (Last Week #10)
FOB moves up a spot this week with this overblown Tag Body Spray ad. Man….I hate body spray commercials. Love the song, love the video, hate the product.
8. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (Last Week #5)
NOOOOO! I still love you, Avril! Sadly, your video falls three places this week and out of the Top Five. I wonder when her next single is coming out. Hell, I didn’t even really see or hear about any promotion for the album itself. Hoping for something new soon…
7. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #8)
But until then, this will totally fill my rawking out quota! This video is where it is at! Where in the hell is the Abingdon Boys School album?! GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE NOW! Oh, and I have no idea what ‘Darker Than Black’ is about after two episodes. Then again, after three episodes I hated Bleach and thought Peach Girl was going to suck after four. I was totally fucking wrong on both counts so I will give it a longer look.
6. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #7)
So we blink and Yui is on the verge of her third Top 5 video of the YEAR. Its only fricking JUNE! She is putting in mad work this year! She may be the frontrunner for the Artist of the Year Chachi Award! I love this song and I can’t wait for the single!
5. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #6)
Welcome to the Top Five! We begin with Orange Range, who with their massive body of work and list of cool videos have never had an official video this high before! This song is one of the best from them in a long time and the video, sans cheesy effects is great. On to #4….
4. nobodyknows+ - Hero’s Come Back! (Last Week #2, Four weeks at #1)
Looks like nobodyknows+ will not be pulling an UVERworld and recapturing the #1 spot! After a month long run at the top, they fall two more spots to #4 this week in a slight shocker. Oh, and Naruto: Shippuuden rawks your face. All of it. I guarantee if you liked the first two seasons of Naruto (my hand is up) you will LOVE the new series. Make some noise!
3. Rascal Flats – Stand (Last Week #4)
We are into the Top Three! Look who we have here! Rascal Flatts is looking to capture their second #1 video after cracking the Big Three this week! With no John Legend or UVERworld to deal with, can they finally take the throne? We will just have to see! We are down to two videos…
2. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (Last Week #1, one week at #1)
And after a week at #1, Yuna Ito falls down a spot! Yuna has a new video with Micro from Def Tech (POWER IN THE MUSIC! HELPS TO GO UNDERSTANDING! Yes, broken English rules) and while the video is simple…she is looking quite fine in them shorts. I’m just saying she’s hawt. Sue me. We may see that video on here soon. With Yuna in the runner up position, we have a new #1 video…
1. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #3, One week at #1)
….and it is about time! After a pretty lengthy trek, Maroon 5 captures their first #1 video on the Top 20 Video Countdown! This is probably my third favorite song (behind ‘International Players Anthem’ and ‘Howling’) and my new favorite album to boot! Oh, congratulations on the new baby! And you have a #1 video to go along with it!
That is all for now. Tune in next Friday to see if Maroon 5 can hold on for a second week. Or can Yuna Ito pull ‘the UVERworld’ and take top spot a second time? Look out, Rascal Flatts is looking to toss their names in the hat for ‘Kings of the Countdown’ and capture their second #1 video. Make sure to be back next week and find out where your favorite video lies! And if it isn’t on here, let me know! I may put it on and give you a shout out! Just no T-Pain or R. Kelly.
Oh shit, what is gonna happen when the ‘Same Girl’ video is released?! It has Usher (YAAAAY!) but it also has The King of R&Pee (BOOOOO!). I’ll cross that bridge when it gets here. Until next time, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let’s get started with a new entry this week!
20. Enrique Iglesias – Do You Know (New Entry)
ENRIQUE GOT RID OF THE MOLE! Man, now he looks more like Ricky Martin. It was the only way I could tell them apart. Anyway, welcome back to the pop world! Not going to lie to you, I like Enrique and I think this video is rather funny. That and this song kicks ass! Welcome to the Countdown!
19. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (Last Week #16)
So it looks like UVERworlds 4th video on the Countdown is on its way out. It was their first video not to make it to #1, but that is nothing to be disappointed about.
18. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (New Entry)
Unh, Sweet Jones! UGK is back on the scene and they decided to bring Outkast with them! This song has been on my playlist since I first heard it (Andre Three Stacks spoken word may be the verse of the year) and the video has Pimp C dressed as a pimp…hence his name. That alone puts it on here. Add in Bun B (UNDERRATED) and Big Boi (ditto!) and you have a surprising hip-hop classic! And welcome back to Big Boi (‘Margaritas’ with Sleepy Brown and Pharrell went to #1 last year)
17. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #15, four weeks at #1)
Looks like Mr. Legend’s days are numbered on the Countdown. Hopefully, with Kanye going on tour soon to support his new album he will be on the road again since I missed him in April.
16. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (Last Week #19)
Just got Daddy Yankee’s new album! Aaaaaaand I don’t understand a word. However, just like Rebelde it is fucking awesome. Music is the universal language, peeps! Also, this video moves up three big places. It must be hard, seeing as how Daddy is lugging around another man in Fergie. But I digress.
15. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #17)
So the classic j-rockers (If you consider 18 years or so classic) move up two spots this week with their truly weird video. Here is to hoping for a new album from these guys soon!
14. Kumi Koda – Get Up & Move! (Last Week #11)
NEW VIDEO FROM KUMI KODA! And…I am shocked. It is called ‘FREAKY’ and there is nothing freaky about it! BOOOOO! I’m just saying; if you name the song ‘FREAKY’ you should give us what you advertise dammit! She has another video for ‘Run For Your Life’ which according to the preview looks ‘Birthday Eve’ like which means it will be damn awesome. Stay tuned!
13. M-Flo feat. Crystal Kay – Love Don’t Cry (Last Week #13)
For the THIRD WEEK M-Flo and Crystal Kay are staying put at #13. M-Flo just released his album but any word on Crystal Kay? I am waiting for that bad boy because her last album was pretty damn good. GIMME SOME CRYSTAL!
12. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #14)
So The King of the South heads north two spaces this week as he looks for his third #1 video with this one. Well, I am still waiting for the album and hopefully it will be a ‘two singles at once’ thing. With Fiddy pushing his shitty album back the summer could belong to TI!
11. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #9, one week at #1)
We are one step from the Top 10 and we have Yui outside for the first time since Valentine’s Day! That was a pretty lengthy stay in the upper half and even though she has a new video I still love this video and song. Much like Bi before her she suffers the wrath of my attachment to a song. Now, into the Top 10!
10. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #12)
And what a way to start! The ladies of Foxxi MisQ have their first Top 10 video after only three weeks! I don’t care, these ladies are quite the nice. AND THEY HAVE A NEW VIDEO WHICH IS JUST AS HOT! Oh, and their album is out at the end of this month! Daughtry may have some competition for the Best New Artist Chachi Award!
9. Fall Out Boy – Thnks Fr Th Mmrs (Last Week #10)
FOB moves up a spot this week with this overblown Tag Body Spray ad. Man….I hate body spray commercials. Love the song, love the video, hate the product.
8. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (Last Week #5)
NOOOOO! I still love you, Avril! Sadly, your video falls three places this week and out of the Top Five. I wonder when her next single is coming out. Hell, I didn’t even really see or hear about any promotion for the album itself. Hoping for something new soon…
7. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #8)
But until then, this will totally fill my rawking out quota! This video is where it is at! Where in the hell is the Abingdon Boys School album?! GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE NOW! Oh, and I have no idea what ‘Darker Than Black’ is about after two episodes. Then again, after three episodes I hated Bleach and thought Peach Girl was going to suck after four. I was totally fucking wrong on both counts so I will give it a longer look.
6. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #7)
So we blink and Yui is on the verge of her third Top 5 video of the YEAR. Its only fricking JUNE! She is putting in mad work this year! She may be the frontrunner for the Artist of the Year Chachi Award! I love this song and I can’t wait for the single!
5. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #6)
Welcome to the Top Five! We begin with Orange Range, who with their massive body of work and list of cool videos have never had an official video this high before! This song is one of the best from them in a long time and the video, sans cheesy effects is great. On to #4….
4. nobodyknows+ - Hero’s Come Back! (Last Week #2, Four weeks at #1)
Looks like nobodyknows+ will not be pulling an UVERworld and recapturing the #1 spot! After a month long run at the top, they fall two more spots to #4 this week in a slight shocker. Oh, and Naruto: Shippuuden rawks your face. All of it. I guarantee if you liked the first two seasons of Naruto (my hand is up) you will LOVE the new series. Make some noise!
3. Rascal Flats – Stand (Last Week #4)
We are into the Top Three! Look who we have here! Rascal Flatts is looking to capture their second #1 video after cracking the Big Three this week! With no John Legend or UVERworld to deal with, can they finally take the throne? We will just have to see! We are down to two videos…
2. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (Last Week #1, one week at #1)
And after a week at #1, Yuna Ito falls down a spot! Yuna has a new video with Micro from Def Tech (POWER IN THE MUSIC! HELPS TO GO UNDERSTANDING! Yes, broken English rules) and while the video is simple…she is looking quite fine in them shorts. I’m just saying she’s hawt. Sue me. We may see that video on here soon. With Yuna in the runner up position, we have a new #1 video…
1. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #3, One week at #1)
….and it is about time! After a pretty lengthy trek, Maroon 5 captures their first #1 video on the Top 20 Video Countdown! This is probably my third favorite song (behind ‘International Players Anthem’ and ‘Howling’) and my new favorite album to boot! Oh, congratulations on the new baby! And you have a #1 video to go along with it!
That is all for now. Tune in next Friday to see if Maroon 5 can hold on for a second week. Or can Yuna Ito pull ‘the UVERworld’ and take top spot a second time? Look out, Rascal Flatts is looking to toss their names in the hat for ‘Kings of the Countdown’ and capture their second #1 video. Make sure to be back next week and find out where your favorite video lies! And if it isn’t on here, let me know! I may put it on and give you a shout out! Just no T-Pain or R. Kelly.
Oh shit, what is gonna happen when the ‘Same Girl’ video is released?! It has Usher (YAAAAY!) but it also has The King of R&Pee (BOOOOO!). I’ll cross that bridge when it gets here. Until next time, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Fresh! For 2007...You, SUCKAZ!
Hear ye, hear ye! I’m back, fishes! You know, I stopped saying that after college (I called women that pissed me off ‘fishes’ in place of ‘bitches’ in the AWARE Group and I ran with it for a bit until the takeoff of ‘teh gay’) and I’m bringing it back like Sugar Smacks. Oh, snap (bringing that back, too) its time for something new! I give to you a new installment on The Passion of Chachi! Here are the funky fresh new phrases for the summer of 2007! So I give to you…
Chachi’s Summer Slang Spectacular!
Yeah, you know you need it. So these are either words I have been saying for a few months, testing out or getting ready to unleash on the masses. Get ready to be linguistically inclined! First off, I am bringing back…
Instead of (sigh...) ‘Whore’: Skeezer
Now I only use whore to describe (whorish behavior, whorish dress, a really whorish cookie) unless I really mean it or are referencing those in Douchebrawl or I truly mean it (or it is preceded by the word ‘attention’ or ‘crack’). However…I don’t like the word. It is mean and rather excessive. Sometimes the word needs to be used and that is why I am going with a classic. I remember in 10th grade when Griff yelled out ‘SHE’S A SKEEZER, DON’T BELIEVE HER!’ for a reason I am not sure of but man that resonates to this day. Not only that, as my respect for women rises (albeit SLOWLY) I am toning down my verbiage toward them. Unlike Black people, who are a Nelly album away from being called ‘darkies’. Next is a word that I have been using for a few days in a test run and it is kind of going over, especially with the whole Pirates of the Caribbean kick…
Instead of Wreck or Smack That (ugh…): Plunder
First off, let me say I WOULD PLUNDER THE BOOTY OF FOXXI MISQ! My god…hell yeah. Now I know plunder has negative connotations because it is ‘by force’ but the simple fact is…very few people know what the word means anyway. Face it, people don’t have extensive vocabularies. Besides, it is actually a lot more inventive than anything I have heard people say over the last few years (Get low? Stick that thing out? I wanna wine you?) AND it is rather tame (and sadly more respectful) compared to the nastiness I have heard recently. R. Kelly, I am looking at your nasty ass.
Instead of Drunk or FUCKED UP: Downey
Okay, I have been debating this one for a while. Mainly because Robert Downey Jr (I love his work!) is drunk by 10 am at a MINIUMUM. I’m kidding, I love the guy. The fact is that getting Downey, for those that know anything about anything, is funny and gets right to the point. Getting downy means that you are ready to party to the point that you end up in the Valley in a little girls’ bed wearing someone else’s clothes. Yeah, I’ve been there. Here is one I actually thought up yesterday…
Instead of Jailbait: F2T
Why? Your ass will get ‘Five to Ten’. Think about it, that shit is funny as hell. This next one is just one I am thinking about, not official…
Instead of Dream Girl or Unicorn (What in the fuck, Kandice?): A Ritchie
What? I will tell you. You ever seen a woman so perfect, that is a combination of everything you find ideal, that whenever you see her or she talks to you all you hear is ‘Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?’
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now THAT is funny as hell. Seriously, now I HAVE to run with that. It would be a waste not to! Now this one is courtesy of Zach which I try to bring back now and then but just never takes off. Because people suck ass…
Instead of Bling or Shining: Mr. Sparkle
See, originally I thought about doing it in a stereotypical derogatory Asian voice (Oh, you necklace is Mee-ster Spar-kullllll-oooooo!) but that well past cat raping on the fucked up scale. In all seriousness, that was one of the best ideas I’ve ever heard. Sadly, most people don’t watch The Simpsons and most importantly people don’t know funny! Yet people will bring back ‘fly’ every three weeks. See, this is why no advances have been made since Shrinky Dinks. People are afraid to embrace the new. This is one that I have used since high school because Griff is an asshole.
Instead of Every Innuendo for the Female Anatomy: Yak
This started because of my attraction to an Asian girl in high school that he referred to as ‘Yakitori’. He would always say ‘You want some of that yak, don’t you?’ Since then, it has become the standard word that we use to describe the…lower regions of a woman. Now I got some shit over that word in college because it was offensive, so I wrote a short paper about how many other more offensive words were being used and this is the least offensive of the lot. I wish I could find that paper, much like my paper on how America needs racism (It was ORIGINALLY called Racism: It’s Good and Good For You. Yeah, I don’t know how I graduated from college either) it was offensive goodness. Anyway, before you sit back and say “its just as offensive!’ take a look at these:
Beaver (Don’t beavers have teeth and build dams? Where does that comparison come in?!)
Cooter (From Dukes of Hazzard? Wow, that’s a reach)
Snatch (Wow, I just thought this was a frat boy movie)
Honey Pot (Uh, what?! What is this, Pooh Bear?!)
Pussy (A classic, yet vulgar and stupid)
Cunt (I have used this word….twice maybe? Ever? Who outside of the United Kingdom does?)
Snooch (Oh, that IS what that meant. How many times have I seen the View Askew series?)
Twat (Same as cunt. Never used it but man…just sounds like a variation of the gout)
The Y (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I’m sorry, that is very humorous to me)
Snapper (I LOVE tempura snapper, but now I can’t say it without a frat boy laughing)
Bearded Clam (Uhhhhh…ew?)
Muff (Heh, I have actually only heard lesbians use this word. Special)
Pink Taco (Now that’s just NASTY)
Meat Curtains (Oh, wow. That is just W.R.O.N.G.)
Gootch (I never knew that! I learned something today!)
Punani (Um…yeah that’s just stupid)
Minge (Until that South Park episode and Patrick, I had actually never heard of this one)
Poon Tang (Okay, I laugh at this one. Never let poon tang come between you and your friends!)
Fur Burger (Yeah, that is about enough of that. What in the hell is wrong with people?!)
Okay, the point of this is that there are a lot worse words out there to describe the va-jing-ah so back off the yak. Besides, it is barely used because only Griff and I use it, and I sure am not getting it. Heh, thems the breaks.
Well, that is all for the Chachi Summer Slang Spectacular! I may have a few more up over the next two months so stay tuned! Feel free to send your own Summer Slanguistics to the Passion of Chachi! I may be back tomorrow (I have a rant building up) but if not, I will definitely be back on Friday for the Countdown! Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Chachi’s Summer Slang Spectacular!
Yeah, you know you need it. So these are either words I have been saying for a few months, testing out or getting ready to unleash on the masses. Get ready to be linguistically inclined! First off, I am bringing back…
Instead of (sigh...) ‘Whore’: Skeezer
Now I only use whore to describe (whorish behavior, whorish dress, a really whorish cookie) unless I really mean it or are referencing those in Douchebrawl or I truly mean it (or it is preceded by the word ‘attention’ or ‘crack’). However…I don’t like the word. It is mean and rather excessive. Sometimes the word needs to be used and that is why I am going with a classic. I remember in 10th grade when Griff yelled out ‘SHE’S A SKEEZER, DON’T BELIEVE HER!’ for a reason I am not sure of but man that resonates to this day. Not only that, as my respect for women rises (albeit SLOWLY) I am toning down my verbiage toward them. Unlike Black people, who are a Nelly album away from being called ‘darkies’. Next is a word that I have been using for a few days in a test run and it is kind of going over, especially with the whole Pirates of the Caribbean kick…
Instead of Wreck or Smack That (ugh…): Plunder
First off, let me say I WOULD PLUNDER THE BOOTY OF FOXXI MISQ! My god…hell yeah. Now I know plunder has negative connotations because it is ‘by force’ but the simple fact is…very few people know what the word means anyway. Face it, people don’t have extensive vocabularies. Besides, it is actually a lot more inventive than anything I have heard people say over the last few years (Get low? Stick that thing out? I wanna wine you?) AND it is rather tame (and sadly more respectful) compared to the nastiness I have heard recently. R. Kelly, I am looking at your nasty ass.
Instead of Drunk or FUCKED UP: Downey
Okay, I have been debating this one for a while. Mainly because Robert Downey Jr (I love his work!) is drunk by 10 am at a MINIUMUM. I’m kidding, I love the guy. The fact is that getting Downey, for those that know anything about anything, is funny and gets right to the point. Getting downy means that you are ready to party to the point that you end up in the Valley in a little girls’ bed wearing someone else’s clothes. Yeah, I’ve been there. Here is one I actually thought up yesterday…
Instead of Jailbait: F2T
Why? Your ass will get ‘Five to Ten’. Think about it, that shit is funny as hell. This next one is just one I am thinking about, not official…
Instead of Dream Girl or Unicorn (What in the fuck, Kandice?): A Ritchie
What? I will tell you. You ever seen a woman so perfect, that is a combination of everything you find ideal, that whenever you see her or she talks to you all you hear is ‘Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?’
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now THAT is funny as hell. Seriously, now I HAVE to run with that. It would be a waste not to! Now this one is courtesy of Zach which I try to bring back now and then but just never takes off. Because people suck ass…
Instead of Bling or Shining: Mr. Sparkle
See, originally I thought about doing it in a stereotypical derogatory Asian voice (Oh, you necklace is Mee-ster Spar-kullllll-oooooo!) but that well past cat raping on the fucked up scale. In all seriousness, that was one of the best ideas I’ve ever heard. Sadly, most people don’t watch The Simpsons and most importantly people don’t know funny! Yet people will bring back ‘fly’ every three weeks. See, this is why no advances have been made since Shrinky Dinks. People are afraid to embrace the new. This is one that I have used since high school because Griff is an asshole.
Instead of Every Innuendo for the Female Anatomy: Yak
This started because of my attraction to an Asian girl in high school that he referred to as ‘Yakitori’. He would always say ‘You want some of that yak, don’t you?’ Since then, it has become the standard word that we use to describe the…lower regions of a woman. Now I got some shit over that word in college because it was offensive, so I wrote a short paper about how many other more offensive words were being used and this is the least offensive of the lot. I wish I could find that paper, much like my paper on how America needs racism (It was ORIGINALLY called Racism: It’s Good and Good For You. Yeah, I don’t know how I graduated from college either) it was offensive goodness. Anyway, before you sit back and say “its just as offensive!’ take a look at these:
Beaver (Don’t beavers have teeth and build dams? Where does that comparison come in?!)
Cooter (From Dukes of Hazzard? Wow, that’s a reach)
Snatch (Wow, I just thought this was a frat boy movie)
Honey Pot (Uh, what?! What is this, Pooh Bear?!)
Pussy (A classic, yet vulgar and stupid)
Cunt (I have used this word….twice maybe? Ever? Who outside of the United Kingdom does?)
Snooch (Oh, that IS what that meant. How many times have I seen the View Askew series?)
Twat (Same as cunt. Never used it but man…just sounds like a variation of the gout)
The Y (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I’m sorry, that is very humorous to me)
Snapper (I LOVE tempura snapper, but now I can’t say it without a frat boy laughing)
Bearded Clam (Uhhhhh…ew?)
Muff (Heh, I have actually only heard lesbians use this word. Special)
Pink Taco (Now that’s just NASTY)
Meat Curtains (Oh, wow. That is just W.R.O.N.G.)
Gootch (I never knew that! I learned something today!)
Punani (Um…yeah that’s just stupid)
Minge (Until that South Park episode and Patrick, I had actually never heard of this one)
Poon Tang (Okay, I laugh at this one. Never let poon tang come between you and your friends!)
Fur Burger (Yeah, that is about enough of that. What in the hell is wrong with people?!)
Okay, the point of this is that there are a lot worse words out there to describe the va-jing-ah so back off the yak. Besides, it is barely used because only Griff and I use it, and I sure am not getting it. Heh, thems the breaks.
Well, that is all for the Chachi Summer Slang Spectacular! I may have a few more up over the next two months so stay tuned! Feel free to send your own Summer Slanguistics to the Passion of Chachi! I may be back tomorrow (I have a rant building up) but if not, I will definitely be back on Friday for the Countdown! Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Finally The Chachi Has Come Back...To His Blog!
Back in effect, fishes! Can I get a ‘laffy taffy’? Can I? No? Eh, that’s cool. So I am back at work and all I can say is…Siebel licks balls. If you have never used it, don’t. It doesn’t fucking work and when it does, it works poorly. Never have I despised a CRM tool as much as this. If you don’t know what that means (which I am guessing only Rick, Kandice and Porter do) look it up. Aaaaaaaaaaaaand it locked up again. Great.
Well, today I am going back to something I had planned last month but got behind on it due to some busy weekends and some drama in the workplace. However, I am here to announce the next inductee into…
The Passion of Chachi Atrium of Awesomeness!
Today, I bring to you one of the greatest speakers in the history of time. If Martin Luther King Jr. was as bad ass as this gentleman, instead of getting shot he would have went into that warehouse, grabbed that sniper rifle, turned that sumbitch sideways and stuck it straight up James Earl Ray’s candy ass. Had Ronald Reagan followed this mans’ lead, he would have checked Old Timers disease into the Smackdown Hotel. This man is the MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN TO EVER HOLD A MICROPHONE. Yeah, you smell what he is cooking; he is cooking an entry into the Hall of Badassitude. The second inductee into the Atrium of Awesomeness is…
THE ROCK!!
The man revolutionized the art of the promo in wrestling, looked good doing it (I can’t front, The Rock was hawt) and most importantly…just brought it. Every night. Hell, the man made BILLY FUCKING GUNN look like he was functionally retarded as opposed to being the below average talent he really is. The list of wrestlers The Rock made look like they actually had two brain cells to rub together is endless. From 1997-2001 he WAS wrestling. Austin supplied the brawling, Benoit/Angle brought the wrestling, Undertaker brought the pain, Triple H brought his nose and The Rock brought the excitement:
You may totally despise wrestling, but tell me you didn’t watch The Rock and I will call you a bold faced jabroni liar. We have all seen ‘The Rundown’ which defied science by not creating a rip in the vortex that is our dimension by having Christopher Walken and The Rock in the same spot at the same time. All logic states that the sheer force of that combination would have thrown the Earth off its axis and into the sun. Well, sometimes science is wrong, but the greatness of Dwayne Johnson is not. The man is truly…The Great One. Congratulations, Rock. You will now go down in history as one of the Inaugural Class of The Passion of Chachi Atrium of Awesomeness!
Well, that is all for now. I will try to be up tomorrow or Thursday before the Countdown on Friday. Until then, stay up.
Chachi Out
Well, today I am going back to something I had planned last month but got behind on it due to some busy weekends and some drama in the workplace. However, I am here to announce the next inductee into…
The Passion of Chachi Atrium of Awesomeness!
Today, I bring to you one of the greatest speakers in the history of time. If Martin Luther King Jr. was as bad ass as this gentleman, instead of getting shot he would have went into that warehouse, grabbed that sniper rifle, turned that sumbitch sideways and stuck it straight up James Earl Ray’s candy ass. Had Ronald Reagan followed this mans’ lead, he would have checked Old Timers disease into the Smackdown Hotel. This man is the MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN TO EVER HOLD A MICROPHONE. Yeah, you smell what he is cooking; he is cooking an entry into the Hall of Badassitude. The second inductee into the Atrium of Awesomeness is…
THE ROCK!!
The man revolutionized the art of the promo in wrestling, looked good doing it (I can’t front, The Rock was hawt) and most importantly…just brought it. Every night. Hell, the man made BILLY FUCKING GUNN look like he was functionally retarded as opposed to being the below average talent he really is. The list of wrestlers The Rock made look like they actually had two brain cells to rub together is endless. From 1997-2001 he WAS wrestling. Austin supplied the brawling, Benoit/Angle brought the wrestling, Undertaker brought the pain, Triple H brought his nose and The Rock brought the excitement:
You may totally despise wrestling, but tell me you didn’t watch The Rock and I will call you a bold faced jabroni liar. We have all seen ‘The Rundown’ which defied science by not creating a rip in the vortex that is our dimension by having Christopher Walken and The Rock in the same spot at the same time. All logic states that the sheer force of that combination would have thrown the Earth off its axis and into the sun. Well, sometimes science is wrong, but the greatness of Dwayne Johnson is not. The man is truly…The Great One. Congratulations, Rock. You will now go down in history as one of the Inaugural Class of The Passion of Chachi Atrium of Awesomeness!
Well, that is all for now. I will try to be up tomorrow or Thursday before the Countdown on Friday. Until then, stay up.
Chachi Out
Sunday, June 03, 2007
So Gloriousus!
What is up peeps?! It’s another Sunday and if you are in Colorado odds are you are asking yourself ‘why am I here?’ Needless to say, the weather outside rather sucks. Eh, thems the breaks.
So last night, I went to ‘A Funny Thing Happened’ and I must say only one word to describe the seating:
BALLIN!
First row, first two seats. Right behind the conductor. I even asked him to play ‘Rock You Like A Hurricane’ by The Scorpions. He didn’t, but it was worth it. The acting was awesome, especially the eunuchs. Yes, you heard me. Great stuff. Oh, and Gloriosus was….well…glorious. I mean he wasn’t Bi in the manliness department but he was pretty epic in scope if you get my drift. The only bad part of the evening is that house vodka makes me hella sleepy. Needless to say it kicked the ass. Up next: The Little Mermaid in August and then maybe Spamalot in September if I don’t go to Vegas for my birthday. If I do, I am SO going to see David Cassidy!
Also this weekend I went to see ‘Knocked Up’ which marked the second time in a calendar year that I went to see a date movie with a dude (I saw ‘The Break-Up’ last year with Rick in what I call the ‘Summer of Pain’ not only for the dumbass shit I did but the day we saw Nacho Libre, Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift, The Omen and An Inconvenient Truth and STILL felt ripped the fuck off) and not with a saucy lady. Eh, thems the breaks. I like having to share my Reese’s Pieces. So today I give you another edition of….
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD!
This Week: Knocked Up
Well, all I can say about this movie is that…well…if was fricking good. Unlike ‘The Break-Up’ last year in which Vince Vaughun played a total fucktard with no redeeming qualities this movie showed that both men AND women are totally irrational beings when it comes to…well everything. The humor from Seth Rogan and Katherine Heigl was hilarious and there wasn’t an unfunny character in the cast. Each person was relevant to the plot in their own way (unlike every movie I have seen over the last 10 years since Pootie Tang) and the movie didn’t seem to at all, even though it was two hours.
Unlike every other movie this year (minus 300 and ATHFCMFFT) there was no glaring problem in this film. Some would say language but it was fucking rated ‘R’ if you went and you were offended by the language, eat a fucking dick. Don’t pay the money and go see ‘Balto’ at home or some shit. The movie also had crowning. And that cost it a point. I have seen births on TV so I wasn’t disgusted, as much as I just was shocked that they put that in a movie. Should have expected it, being about pregnancy and all. But 300 was about Spartans and I didn’t see ONE BIT of gay sex for which I am thankful, but they could have kept true to the Spartans man-loving roots. Just saying.
All in all, this movie is well worth the watch. Not the big budget fare you expect from the summer blockbuster season, but neither was 40-Year Old Virgin or Accepted and those both kicked ass. Loses a full point for the crowning scene, though. No crowning in summer movies. Not on my watch! So ‘Knocked Up’ gets…
9 out of 10 Stars!
(Actually a kick ass movie! No glaring faults and does what it does very well. Is one of the funniest movies of the year so far! Check it out!)
Well, that is all for now. Another work week coming up so I will try to be up either Wednesday or Thursday. Short update today, but I am running low on sleep over the last few days. Thanks, Kandice. You officially have ruined my sleep cycle. Just kidding. Until next time, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
So last night, I went to ‘A Funny Thing Happened’ and I must say only one word to describe the seating:
BALLIN!
First row, first two seats. Right behind the conductor. I even asked him to play ‘Rock You Like A Hurricane’ by The Scorpions. He didn’t, but it was worth it. The acting was awesome, especially the eunuchs. Yes, you heard me. Great stuff. Oh, and Gloriosus was….well…glorious. I mean he wasn’t Bi in the manliness department but he was pretty epic in scope if you get my drift. The only bad part of the evening is that house vodka makes me hella sleepy. Needless to say it kicked the ass. Up next: The Little Mermaid in August and then maybe Spamalot in September if I don’t go to Vegas for my birthday. If I do, I am SO going to see David Cassidy!
Also this weekend I went to see ‘Knocked Up’ which marked the second time in a calendar year that I went to see a date movie with a dude (I saw ‘The Break-Up’ last year with Rick in what I call the ‘Summer of Pain’ not only for the dumbass shit I did but the day we saw Nacho Libre, Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift, The Omen and An Inconvenient Truth and STILL felt ripped the fuck off) and not with a saucy lady. Eh, thems the breaks. I like having to share my Reese’s Pieces. So today I give you another edition of….
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD!
This Week: Knocked Up
Well, all I can say about this movie is that…well…if was fricking good. Unlike ‘The Break-Up’ last year in which Vince Vaughun played a total fucktard with no redeeming qualities this movie showed that both men AND women are totally irrational beings when it comes to…well everything. The humor from Seth Rogan and Katherine Heigl was hilarious and there wasn’t an unfunny character in the cast. Each person was relevant to the plot in their own way (unlike every movie I have seen over the last 10 years since Pootie Tang) and the movie didn’t seem to at all, even though it was two hours.
Unlike every other movie this year (minus 300 and ATHFCMFFT) there was no glaring problem in this film. Some would say language but it was fucking rated ‘R’ if you went and you were offended by the language, eat a fucking dick. Don’t pay the money and go see ‘Balto’ at home or some shit. The movie also had crowning. And that cost it a point. I have seen births on TV so I wasn’t disgusted, as much as I just was shocked that they put that in a movie. Should have expected it, being about pregnancy and all. But 300 was about Spartans and I didn’t see ONE BIT of gay sex for which I am thankful, but they could have kept true to the Spartans man-loving roots. Just saying.
All in all, this movie is well worth the watch. Not the big budget fare you expect from the summer blockbuster season, but neither was 40-Year Old Virgin or Accepted and those both kicked ass. Loses a full point for the crowning scene, though. No crowning in summer movies. Not on my watch! So ‘Knocked Up’ gets…
9 out of 10 Stars!
(Actually a kick ass movie! No glaring faults and does what it does very well. Is one of the funniest movies of the year so far! Check it out!)
Well, that is all for now. Another work week coming up so I will try to be up either Wednesday or Thursday. Short update today, but I am running low on sleep over the last few days. Thanks, Kandice. You officially have ruined my sleep cycle. Just kidding. Until next time, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Let Me Stretch Out...
Okay, a full update on Sunday but now for a quick synopsis of what I learned this week.
I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY…
1) Women are still pretty weird. Doesn’t ever really change; just have to kind of roll with their weirdness. Getting the hang of it, though.
2) There is nothing more ballin’ than making your own spring rolls. That was some good fucking eatin’. Saigon Café, peeps. Good stuff.
3) I may be manic depressive. No joke, it is beginning to freak me out. I went all over the place about having to go to work on Monday from unbelievable joy to wanting to murder my waitress at the Broadmoor. BTW….waaaaaay too many white people up there. Only other black dude was holding the door open for me. Dare I say…that shit is racist.
4) So ‘Knocked Up” was pretty damn funny. Katherine Heigl is fricking HAWT (ever since that one movie with that chick from ‘On The Line’ with one of the N’SYNC-ers) and it had Jonah from ‘Grandma’s Boy’ and ‘Accepted’ in it! Although it did have crowning….yeah, I wasn’t ready for that.
5) Even though I get my rant on about how my life sucks it dry…it’s really not so bad. I like where I am at right now. Except the being single thing, but thems the breaks on that. Women may be stupid sometimes, but I have to give them a lot of credit. I mean, they don’t date me just jerks that fuck them over for years at a time. Maybe it isn’t all that deep. It’s the Riley Pissing Theory. I see piss, I move. Some women see piss….they stay. Can’t win them all. This plays more on the first thing I learned yesterday but eh, I’m full circle.
6) Rebelde: Greatest TV show ever:
Giggidy giggidy, giggidy goo. I’ll be back tomorrow for a full round-up at some point.
I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY…
1) Women are still pretty weird. Doesn’t ever really change; just have to kind of roll with their weirdness. Getting the hang of it, though.
2) There is nothing more ballin’ than making your own spring rolls. That was some good fucking eatin’. Saigon Café, peeps. Good stuff.
3) I may be manic depressive. No joke, it is beginning to freak me out. I went all over the place about having to go to work on Monday from unbelievable joy to wanting to murder my waitress at the Broadmoor. BTW….waaaaaay too many white people up there. Only other black dude was holding the door open for me. Dare I say…that shit is racist.
4) So ‘Knocked Up” was pretty damn funny. Katherine Heigl is fricking HAWT (ever since that one movie with that chick from ‘On The Line’ with one of the N’SYNC-ers) and it had Jonah from ‘Grandma’s Boy’ and ‘Accepted’ in it! Although it did have crowning….yeah, I wasn’t ready for that.
5) Even though I get my rant on about how my life sucks it dry…it’s really not so bad. I like where I am at right now. Except the being single thing, but thems the breaks on that. Women may be stupid sometimes, but I have to give them a lot of credit. I mean, they don’t date me just jerks that fuck them over for years at a time. Maybe it isn’t all that deep. It’s the Riley Pissing Theory. I see piss, I move. Some women see piss….they stay. Can’t win them all. This plays more on the first thing I learned yesterday but eh, I’m full circle.
6) Rebelde: Greatest TV show ever:
Giggidy giggidy, giggidy goo. I’ll be back tomorrow for a full round-up at some point.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Long Live The Queen! Not Me, You A-Hole!
Hells yes! It is Friday and it is a half day for the Chachi! Can I get a hells yeah?! Tomorrow is ‘A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum’ so you know what that means. DENVER PAR-TEEEEE! But before I get all crazy Prince style, it is time for the Friday staple!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We start this week with a hip hop video that looks to be saying goodbye to the Top 20…
20. K-OS – Sunday Morning (Last Week #17)
It seems the run is over for K-OS after a pretty good stay. This video made it all the way to the Top Ten which is pretty good for a first time out. Here is to hoping for a new video very soon!
19. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (New Entry)
Reggaeton! Very few people know this, but I am totally down for Daddy Yankee. He is the mad notes! Sadly, Fergie is a man and had the audacity to call out Nelly Furtado (OH NO SHE DI-ENT!) but that doesn’t take away from the kickassedness of this video. Oh, and Fergie looks like she is on roids. Ladies, you don’t have to look like fucking Triple H to be attractive. I likes some softness.
18. Three Days Grace – Never Too Late (Last Week #16)
Another video on the verge of falling off the Countdown after falling one spot short of the Top Five. Do we still get MuchMusic on Comcast? I don’t think we do. That sucks because it was the only place I could see these guys.
17. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #20)
When in the hell are they going to be on the On Demand Bento Box?! They have TM Revolution (which don’t get me wrong, rawk your fucking face) on every damn week! Give me some Hyde and the crew!
16. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (Last Week #14)
Just got the single for ‘endscape’ and it totally kicks the ass! Meanwhile, this video falls two more spots. UVERworld hasn’t done much on the live front, either. Can’t find any videos of tour footage which kind of sucks. You know, UVERworld almost has this Countdown on lock if not for this next person…
15. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #12, four weeks at #1)
Can John officially be called ‘King of the Countdown’? Three #1 videos ties him with UVERworld (although T.I. and Yui have a chance to tie them) and he has Album of the Year to his credit. Sounds like credentials to me.
14. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week 18)
Suck emcees can call him sire! T.I. moves up four big spots with this video! I am looking forward to “T.I.P. vs. T.I.” more than any album this year including Common’s “Finding Forever”, Kanye’s “Graduation” and Usher’s coming LP. Hopefully the R.Kelly and T-Pain cameos will be kept to a minimum. God, let the R.Kelly and T-Pan cameos be kept to a minimum.
13. M-Flo feat. Crystal Kay – Love Don’t Cry (Last Week #13)
So this video stands at #13 this week. Any word on a Crystal Kay album? I needs my hawtie fix since Yuna Ito is playing hard to get. Even better, Sowelu is back! MY GOD, SOWELU IS BACK! Mmm…how I missed her so. If I could find a way to get both her and Mandy Moore to marry me…I would so die happy.
12. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #15)
Screw that, give me these three ladies. Not going to lie, these ladies aren’t my ideal but there is something about funky fresh dance moves and Japanese women. It’s….a thing I have. Oh, and that’s a nice car that lady is sitting in. Is that a straight six? Heh, I have a straight six right now watching this video.
11. Kumi Koda – Get Up & Move! (Last Week #8)
Well it looks like Kumi Koda is falling like…she did on that bottle in the ‘Juicy’ video. I wonder where that bottle is now. Probably traumatized. THE BOTTLE SAID NO! Anyway, we are into the Top 10!
10. Fall Out Boy – Thnks Fr Th Mmrs (Last Week #11)
We have made it to the upper regions and we start with a little Fall Out Boy! God…I really hate Tag body spray. I really do. But this song kicks ass and that holds precedent over everything else. Makes up for the 4 minute ad of a video.
9. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #6, one week at #1)
And the citizens cry due to sorrow. Yui looks to be falling out of the Top 10 after a run as the #1 video. Could Yui be the ‘Queen of the Countdown’? Well, aside from Nelly Furtado and Namie Amuro (and maybe Amy Lee from Evanescence) she really is by herself on top with that one. Oh, that and she is hella hot.
8. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #10)
RAWKING ALL UP ON YOUR FACE! Abingdon Boys School moves up two spots this week and dare I say hell yeah. This song is on my profile and as soon as I re-find my software for clipping music it is SO the next ring tone!
7. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #9)
Yay! More Yui! Back to the ‘Queen of the Countdown’ comment. What ever happened to A.I.?! After ‘I Wanna Know’ I haven’t heard from her since! While you are at it, give me some more Jamosa. That is some nice, saucy woman right there. Hell, give me some new Halcali and May J (I’m not really feeling ‘Dear…’)! Let the ladies have some time!
6. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #7)
One step away from the Top Five and we have Orange Range! Been a while since they have been up this high! They had some lackluster work recently *ahem* ‘UnRockstar’ but this video is making up for it. Here is to a follow up album soon!
5. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (Last Week #3)
Hey! Hey! You! You! Okay, I still like this video but let’s face it: it’s Avril Lavigne. Yeah, I must say I would wreck that (if I completely knew how, my knowledge of wrecking is spotty at best) but at the end of the day she made ‘SK8TR BOI’ and for that I can never forgive. Although she DID make ‘Falling Down’ so it kind of evens out.
4. Rascal Flats – Stand (Last Week #5)
You know…Rascal Flats could lay claim to ‘Kings of the Countdown’. Before Nelly Furtado’s ‘Say It Right’ they had the longest running unofficial video in the Top 20 with ‘What Hurts The Most’ last year. Hell, it even made it to #1! With ‘Stand’ they have their second Top 5 and are making a run for the top to boot! Pretty good for some guys from Ohio.
3. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #4)
We are in the Top 3 and Marron 5 makes their first trip up here ever! I just got their album and it is actually pretty good! It is not as single laden as their first album but the songs are good on their own merit. Oh, that and this video kicks the ass. Especially the unedited version. The song sounds like my life for the most part. Only two remain…
2. nobodyknows+ - Hero’s Come Back! (Last Week #1, four weeks at #1)
UPSET OF THE YEAR! After a month long stranglehold on the Top Spot, nobodyknows+ falls a spot to Number 2! This song SO kicks the ass and I really wonder if they can follow this up. I mean it is DIFFICULT to follow up your first video with another bad ass one. UVERworld did with ‘Shamrock’ after ‘Chance!’ but those are rare. We will have to see! Well…this means we have a new King
1. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (Last Week #2, one week at #1)
…or shall I say QUEEN! After a LOOOOOOONG 3 month wait Yuna Ito finally captures the throne! Did you see her at the MTV Japan VMA’s? Can you say ‘teh hawt’ peeps because that is what she was! Can’t believe ‘Truth’ didn’t win a VMA at ALL. I love Kumi Koda as much as the next j-pop fan but didn’t she win LAST YEAR? And the video she won for this year wasn’t all that damn good! Doesn’t matter, because Yuna is #1 on the Chachi Top 20 Video Countdown and that is all that matters!
Well, that is all for this Friday! Tune in next week to see if Yuna can hang on to #1 for a second week! Or can nobodyknows+ not only capture the Top Spot TWICE with the same song but be the first video since T.I’.’s “What You Know” to stay at #1 for more than a month? Or can Maroon 5 leapfrog BOTH for the crown? Tune in next week to find out!
Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We start this week with a hip hop video that looks to be saying goodbye to the Top 20…
20. K-OS – Sunday Morning (Last Week #17)
It seems the run is over for K-OS after a pretty good stay. This video made it all the way to the Top Ten which is pretty good for a first time out. Here is to hoping for a new video very soon!
19. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (New Entry)
Reggaeton! Very few people know this, but I am totally down for Daddy Yankee. He is the mad notes! Sadly, Fergie is a man and had the audacity to call out Nelly Furtado (OH NO SHE DI-ENT!) but that doesn’t take away from the kickassedness of this video. Oh, and Fergie looks like she is on roids. Ladies, you don’t have to look like fucking Triple H to be attractive. I likes some softness.
18. Three Days Grace – Never Too Late (Last Week #16)
Another video on the verge of falling off the Countdown after falling one spot short of the Top Five. Do we still get MuchMusic on Comcast? I don’t think we do. That sucks because it was the only place I could see these guys.
17. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #20)
When in the hell are they going to be on the On Demand Bento Box?! They have TM Revolution (which don’t get me wrong, rawk your fucking face) on every damn week! Give me some Hyde and the crew!
16. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (Last Week #14)
Just got the single for ‘endscape’ and it totally kicks the ass! Meanwhile, this video falls two more spots. UVERworld hasn’t done much on the live front, either. Can’t find any videos of tour footage which kind of sucks. You know, UVERworld almost has this Countdown on lock if not for this next person…
15. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #12, four weeks at #1)
Can John officially be called ‘King of the Countdown’? Three #1 videos ties him with UVERworld (although T.I. and Yui have a chance to tie them) and he has Album of the Year to his credit. Sounds like credentials to me.
14. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week 18)
Suck emcees can call him sire! T.I. moves up four big spots with this video! I am looking forward to “T.I.P. vs. T.I.” more than any album this year including Common’s “Finding Forever”, Kanye’s “Graduation” and Usher’s coming LP. Hopefully the R.Kelly and T-Pain cameos will be kept to a minimum. God, let the R.Kelly and T-Pan cameos be kept to a minimum.
13. M-Flo feat. Crystal Kay – Love Don’t Cry (Last Week #13)
So this video stands at #13 this week. Any word on a Crystal Kay album? I needs my hawtie fix since Yuna Ito is playing hard to get. Even better, Sowelu is back! MY GOD, SOWELU IS BACK! Mmm…how I missed her so. If I could find a way to get both her and Mandy Moore to marry me…I would so die happy.
12. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #15)
Screw that, give me these three ladies. Not going to lie, these ladies aren’t my ideal but there is something about funky fresh dance moves and Japanese women. It’s….a thing I have. Oh, and that’s a nice car that lady is sitting in. Is that a straight six? Heh, I have a straight six right now watching this video.
11. Kumi Koda – Get Up & Move! (Last Week #8)
Well it looks like Kumi Koda is falling like…she did on that bottle in the ‘Juicy’ video. I wonder where that bottle is now. Probably traumatized. THE BOTTLE SAID NO! Anyway, we are into the Top 10!
10. Fall Out Boy – Thnks Fr Th Mmrs (Last Week #11)
We have made it to the upper regions and we start with a little Fall Out Boy! God…I really hate Tag body spray. I really do. But this song kicks ass and that holds precedent over everything else. Makes up for the 4 minute ad of a video.
9. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #6, one week at #1)
And the citizens cry due to sorrow. Yui looks to be falling out of the Top 10 after a run as the #1 video. Could Yui be the ‘Queen of the Countdown’? Well, aside from Nelly Furtado and Namie Amuro (and maybe Amy Lee from Evanescence) she really is by herself on top with that one. Oh, that and she is hella hot.
8. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #10)
RAWKING ALL UP ON YOUR FACE! Abingdon Boys School moves up two spots this week and dare I say hell yeah. This song is on my profile and as soon as I re-find my software for clipping music it is SO the next ring tone!
7. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #9)
Yay! More Yui! Back to the ‘Queen of the Countdown’ comment. What ever happened to A.I.?! After ‘I Wanna Know’ I haven’t heard from her since! While you are at it, give me some more Jamosa. That is some nice, saucy woman right there. Hell, give me some new Halcali and May J (I’m not really feeling ‘Dear…’)! Let the ladies have some time!
6. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #7)
One step away from the Top Five and we have Orange Range! Been a while since they have been up this high! They had some lackluster work recently *ahem* ‘UnRockstar’ but this video is making up for it. Here is to a follow up album soon!
5. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (Last Week #3)
Hey! Hey! You! You! Okay, I still like this video but let’s face it: it’s Avril Lavigne. Yeah, I must say I would wreck that (if I completely knew how, my knowledge of wrecking is spotty at best) but at the end of the day she made ‘SK8TR BOI’ and for that I can never forgive. Although she DID make ‘Falling Down’ so it kind of evens out.
4. Rascal Flats – Stand (Last Week #5)
You know…Rascal Flats could lay claim to ‘Kings of the Countdown’. Before Nelly Furtado’s ‘Say It Right’ they had the longest running unofficial video in the Top 20 with ‘What Hurts The Most’ last year. Hell, it even made it to #1! With ‘Stand’ they have their second Top 5 and are making a run for the top to boot! Pretty good for some guys from Ohio.
3. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #4)
We are in the Top 3 and Marron 5 makes their first trip up here ever! I just got their album and it is actually pretty good! It is not as single laden as their first album but the songs are good on their own merit. Oh, that and this video kicks the ass. Especially the unedited version. The song sounds like my life for the most part. Only two remain…
2. nobodyknows+ - Hero’s Come Back! (Last Week #1, four weeks at #1)
UPSET OF THE YEAR! After a month long stranglehold on the Top Spot, nobodyknows+ falls a spot to Number 2! This song SO kicks the ass and I really wonder if they can follow this up. I mean it is DIFFICULT to follow up your first video with another bad ass one. UVERworld did with ‘Shamrock’ after ‘Chance!’ but those are rare. We will have to see! Well…this means we have a new King
1. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (Last Week #2, one week at #1)
…or shall I say QUEEN! After a LOOOOOOONG 3 month wait Yuna Ito finally captures the throne! Did you see her at the MTV Japan VMA’s? Can you say ‘teh hawt’ peeps because that is what she was! Can’t believe ‘Truth’ didn’t win a VMA at ALL. I love Kumi Koda as much as the next j-pop fan but didn’t she win LAST YEAR? And the video she won for this year wasn’t all that damn good! Doesn’t matter, because Yuna is #1 on the Chachi Top 20 Video Countdown and that is all that matters!
Well, that is all for this Friday! Tune in next week to see if Yuna can hang on to #1 for a second week! Or can nobodyknows+ not only capture the Top Spot TWICE with the same song but be the first video since T.I’.’s “What You Know” to stay at #1 for more than a month? Or can Maroon 5 leapfrog BOTH for the crown? Tune in next week to find out!
Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Two Snaps Up With A Twirl and a Shake!
What is up peeps! It is the beginning of the work week (BOOOOO!) and it has been a scary one so far (personal reasons) but it is looking up! Did everyone enjoy their extended weekend? Is the underage crowd enjoying summer vacation? Relish your youth, because if you think your life sucks now wait until you become an adult. Just deferred dreams and crushed hopes as far as the eye can see! I’m joking.
So Nolan and I went to the Chapel Hills Mall yesterday (because traffic to Denver was totally fucked and I was not putting up with that shit) looking at clothes when I realized something: as much as White people complain about how Blacks dress they should just keep their fool mouths shut. What is with the lack of fashion sense these days? I mean I am no fashion plate but I believe that I have some style. That being said, there are some things that just are NOT ‘teh fashion’ and I am here to call it out. So today, I give you a new segment of Passion of Chachi…
CHACHI FAB-YOU-LOUS!!
Today I will look at what is hot and what is so not in the fashion today. Let’s start off with something that has really just created a series of fashion misfits out there…
NOT FAB-YOU-LOUS: Technicolor Polo Shirts
Okay, I understand it is hard to sometimes pick a color that fits you. With that being said, you CANNOT just toss a bunch of colors in a shirt and call it faboo. I mean look at that shirt! It looks like H.R. Pufnstuf fucking threw up and someone made a polo out of it. Just not good fashion. I mean, you want to draw attention to yourself, not cause Pokemon-like seizures from looking at your eyesore of a shirt! Put it away! Next, some thing that is totally hot…
TOTALLY FAB-YOU-LOUS: Women in Suits
Okay, now this is a trend that has sadly not taken off. In a business or a casual setting, the black dress may be what is expected but you CLAIM to be individuals, right ladies? Well, what is more trendsetting than a woman wearing a suit to an event? Not only are they not the norm but they are totally HAWT when pulled off right! It screams ‘look at me, I’m different yet faboo’ and has the ability to be worn in any setting. Hell, if you have the attitude you could even pull off the Avril Lavigne tie thing, too! That takes a LOT of panache though. Not for everyone, like men and spring tones. Besides, aint a damn thing hotter than slacks and heels. Just….damn that’s HOT! Now for a trend that I don’t know why even got started…
NOT FAB-YOU-LOUS: Whale Tail
God…this is just nasty. I for one have never been a fan of the thong. First off because Sisqo made it popular and that nigga sucks. Except for ‘Enchantment Passing Through’ because that song is bad ass. Second off it is just poor fashion sense. Underwear are called ‘underwear’ because they are SUPPOSED TO BE UNDER WHAT THE FUCK YOU WEAR! Just like sagging of the pants in the mid-90’s, your underwear is to not be seen by everyone. Ladies, if you think that is what men want you are a fucking idiot to show it because you know what else men want to see? Lo Pan in every fucking movie. You don’t see that and you know why? It would be too much of a good thing, that’s why! The simple fact is it has nothing to do with you being skanky by showing your underwear. It is just bad fashion. Underwear aren’t an accessory, they are a necessity. Show some fashion sense and keep them under wraps, ladies. Mystery is a good thing. I guess women are at least WEARING underwear so it’s a start.
I will have the Chachi Summer Faboo Fashion Preview soon (June timeframe) so stay tuned! Well, that is all for now. I will try to be back up before Friday for another rant of some sort. Until then, BOUNCE WITH ME!!
DJ Ozma may have passed Dance*man as my new idol. Funky fresh dancing and afro’s? Now THAT is faboo! Stay up, peeps. Maybe some classic Chachi tomorrow. Until then stay up peeps.
Chachi Out!
So Nolan and I went to the Chapel Hills Mall yesterday (because traffic to Denver was totally fucked and I was not putting up with that shit) looking at clothes when I realized something: as much as White people complain about how Blacks dress they should just keep their fool mouths shut. What is with the lack of fashion sense these days? I mean I am no fashion plate but I believe that I have some style. That being said, there are some things that just are NOT ‘teh fashion’ and I am here to call it out. So today, I give you a new segment of Passion of Chachi…
CHACHI FAB-YOU-LOUS!!
Today I will look at what is hot and what is so not in the fashion today. Let’s start off with something that has really just created a series of fashion misfits out there…
NOT FAB-YOU-LOUS: Technicolor Polo Shirts
Okay, I understand it is hard to sometimes pick a color that fits you. With that being said, you CANNOT just toss a bunch of colors in a shirt and call it faboo. I mean look at that shirt! It looks like H.R. Pufnstuf fucking threw up and someone made a polo out of it. Just not good fashion. I mean, you want to draw attention to yourself, not cause Pokemon-like seizures from looking at your eyesore of a shirt! Put it away! Next, some thing that is totally hot…
TOTALLY FAB-YOU-LOUS: Women in Suits
Okay, now this is a trend that has sadly not taken off. In a business or a casual setting, the black dress may be what is expected but you CLAIM to be individuals, right ladies? Well, what is more trendsetting than a woman wearing a suit to an event? Not only are they not the norm but they are totally HAWT when pulled off right! It screams ‘look at me, I’m different yet faboo’ and has the ability to be worn in any setting. Hell, if you have the attitude you could even pull off the Avril Lavigne tie thing, too! That takes a LOT of panache though. Not for everyone, like men and spring tones. Besides, aint a damn thing hotter than slacks and heels. Just….damn that’s HOT! Now for a trend that I don’t know why even got started…
NOT FAB-YOU-LOUS: Whale Tail
God…this is just nasty. I for one have never been a fan of the thong. First off because Sisqo made it popular and that nigga sucks. Except for ‘Enchantment Passing Through’ because that song is bad ass. Second off it is just poor fashion sense. Underwear are called ‘underwear’ because they are SUPPOSED TO BE UNDER WHAT THE FUCK YOU WEAR! Just like sagging of the pants in the mid-90’s, your underwear is to not be seen by everyone. Ladies, if you think that is what men want you are a fucking idiot to show it because you know what else men want to see? Lo Pan in every fucking movie. You don’t see that and you know why? It would be too much of a good thing, that’s why! The simple fact is it has nothing to do with you being skanky by showing your underwear. It is just bad fashion. Underwear aren’t an accessory, they are a necessity. Show some fashion sense and keep them under wraps, ladies. Mystery is a good thing. I guess women are at least WEARING underwear so it’s a start.
I will have the Chachi Summer Faboo Fashion Preview soon (June timeframe) so stay tuned! Well, that is all for now. I will try to be back up before Friday for another rant of some sort. Until then, BOUNCE WITH ME!!
DJ Ozma may have passed Dance*man as my new idol. Funky fresh dancing and afro’s? Now THAT is faboo! Stay up, peeps. Maybe some classic Chachi tomorrow. Until then stay up peeps.
Chachi Out!
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Cuz I STAYS Droppin' Knowledge!
WHOO-HOO! THREE DAY WEEKEND! What is up peeps?! Pretty action packed first third of the weekend, an afternoon-special like middle and a rather relaxed ending so far. I mean, I can’t be ballin’ 24/7. That is just damn near impossible. I’m not Diddy!
So as you know, I went to see Wicked last week after TWO FUCKING YEARS of ditching the idea due to being poor or getting shitty ass tickets and all I can say is that I was NOT DISAPPOINTED! It was everything I ever dreamed of and more! Seeing as how I haven’t read the book in a few years and my iPod got wiped (because Apple sucks it dry) so my Wicked playlist got lost I was up on the story and was able to still sing along with three songs (All I can say is that I hope a certain someone wasn’t annoyed by my mouthing along to ‘Popular’) and it was a good adaptation (Zach pointed out something I totally missed but hey, reading is NOT ballin’).
So this has to be said: Glenda the Good Witch is HAWT:
This Weeks Movie: Pirates of the Caribeean: At World’s End!
Okay, there were good and bad about this movie….
GOOD:
The Action: My god, if you thought Spiderman 3 and 300 were action packed those movies moved like fucking ‘Contact’ compared to Pirates 3. I can honestly say that this movie is the most ACTION PACKED film ever. From the opening sequence with Chow Yung Fat (Is there a movie where he ISN’T a bad ass? My fucking god the man RULES) to the pirate ship battles (Shades of Pirates! And Skies of Arcadia, fools! If you don’t know, fucking play them because they rock) to the non-stop running the film was a mile a minute. There were a shit load of minutes (more on that later) but the dead spots were minimal unlike Spiderman 3 and the action was fast paced unlike 300.
Johnny Depp: SNOOGLES! Although he wasn’t in the movie for the first 1/5th of the running time, when he DID come in it was awesome. Won’t ruin it, but I will just say that his introduction is the exact same as a lot of my dreams. Just Depp by the ship full! He actually carried the movie because Orlando Bloom is only believable as an elf and Keira Knightley is only believable as an 11 year old boy. Them kissing must send Michael Jackson over the fucking edge (more on that later as well) because their parts were a drag. Luckily it became the Jack Sparrow Show after his arrival because Johnny Depp was as aloof as ever. This performance was better than ‘Dead Man’s Chest’ and on par with ‘Black Pearl’. Oh, and did I mention that Johnny Depp is hot? If I didn’t….he’s hot.
The Effects: $300 MILLION DOLLARS WELL SPENT! This movie is what MC Chris meant when he said ‘epic in scope’ about God of War. Everything about this movie screamed over-the-top from Calypso, to the whirlpool scene to the opening Singapore battle. Pirates was a visual masterpiece. Spiderman had crisper fights and 300 had more epic battles but Pirates was the happy medium. The swashbuckling was well choreographed and the sheer presence of Davy Jones looked like he was real rather than a mish-mash of CGI and animatronics. The movie itself visually was impressive and well worth the watch based on that alone.
HOWEVER…there is some bad news…
BAD:
The Length: Holy fucking shit. 2 hours and 47 minutes was a LONG TIME. Now I will admit that it passed rather quickly, but the time was excessive. 20 minutes could have been cut from this film because although there was a lot of action, there was a bit TOO MUCH action. Even though scenes really didn’t drag and the dead spots were comedic it doesn’t fix the fact that this movie tried to be Lord of the Rings (and that is a can of worms I don’t have time to rant about right now). The only good thing about the length being so long was that it gave more time for action and plot development. Which brings me to my next problem…
The Plot: Okay, I know Spiderman 3 had three conflicts at one time and jumped back and forth but at the end of the day it was linear in scope from beginning to end and nothing was left hanging except for the Sandman and he sucks and was a plot device so it wasn’t that big a deal. As for Pirates 3…
WHAT IN THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!
There were no less than SEVEN plot twists and SIX betrayals in this movie and that is a low ball because after a while I stopped fucking caring and just waited for Jack Sparrow to be funny again and see shit blow up. Seriously, the plot was ALL OVER THE PLACE and not in a good way. I’m not going to sit here and say it is hard to get past that but it explains the length of the movie and was a DAMN GOOD REASON TO CUT IT SHORT BY THIRTY MINUTES! First off, any dialog about Keira’s plot twists could have been removed because it was pointless and could have easily been written out if for nothing else to give Chow some more screen time. It was obvious they tried to fit as much as they could in to this movie and all of that wasn’t even needed. Even though I kept up with the plot twists, a plot twist is like ice cream. If you keep on having them, they lose their appeal. By the time the fifth one happened I no longer cared and it turned me off from the plot. May not be the same for others but I just got annoyed by the ‘What a twist!’ feel of the movie.
The Little Boy Love Story: I could have done without Will Turner and Elizabeth whatever-the-fuck-her-name-was. Keira is not a convincing heroine and as for Orlando Bloom he needs to just fucking stop trying to be Johnny Depp. Their love story is tacked on for one and for two pirates don’t fall in love, they plunder the booty! In more ways than one, if you catch my drift. The only pirate love story was ‘Pirates of Penzance’ and that is more of a loose interpretation of pirate love. If there was EVER a more unconvincing pirate than Orlando Bloom, I’d like to see one. There were other story lines (Davy Jones/Calypso, Jack Sparrow and his father) that could have taken up the 25+ minutes their shitty ass story took up. Besides, you know Jack Sparrow totally wrecked that.
Okay, long story short this movie is a true summer blockbuster. True to form, it is heavy on action and adventure but is surprisingly heavy on plot. Sometimes less is more in the plot department for movies like this but it doesn’t take away from the viewing experience. It’s long and action packed, and if you let the action override the time you would take trying to decipher the plot then you will truly enjoy yourself. If not, you will still like it but nowhere near as much. So because of all these factors, I give this movie…
8 out of 10 Stars!!
(A fun, big budget summer movie. Long like the LOTR and Harry Potter but sadly with the plot ideas of the last two Matrix movies and The Hulk. Luckily, the plot doesn’t drag the overall film near as much as they did. Check it out if you have a free 2 days or so.)
Ladies and gentlemen…I give you the downfall of two sets of people. First, teenage girls:
What in the fuck? A movie based on a toy?! Before you run your mouth about Transformers, that toy has a legend to it and is part of nostalgia for more people than whatever in the fuck Bratz are. Secondly, Transformers gave us ‘You Got The Touch’ by Rick Derringer while the Bratz have given us nothing but the Dumbening of Teenage Girls and the rise of internet speak in the real world. LAWL! OH EM GEE! EN BEE DEE! How about Dee Oh Ay?! Because you r-tards need to die. Yes, I know I said a form of ‘leet speak’ but at least it stays within the community and for the most part isn’t mass marketed. We like our basements and comic book/gamer shops. The makers of this movie obviously wanted to make ‘Mean Girls 2’ but couldn’t get Lindsay Lohan off the white horse long enough to read the fucking script. This movie sucks and if you are a female and you watch it congratulations, you are well on your way to being the next Paris Hilton. Enjoy jail and herpes. The next part of the downfall of society is ‘Lip Gloss’:
Okay, I have ranted on this before because young girls should not want any attention to their fucking mouths. Lip gloss is for…shit I don’t know is it like Chap-Stick? Then USE FUCKING CHAP-STICK! Men aren’t looking at your lips, they are either looking at your tits or like me they aren’t looking at you at all because you are wearing fucking lip gloss and YOU ARE TRYING TO DRAW ATTENTION TO YOUR LIPS AND I AINT FALLING FOR THAT SHIT! That aint my issue at this point in time.
Shucking and jiving! SHUCKING AND JIVING! God-tittyfucking-dammit-Christ-of-all-that-is-fucking-holy! Black people….just stop. I can’t stand this shit. Might as well just shackle myself and take the first fucking bus to Alabama and start picking cotton. It’s times like this where I really believe that deep down, Black people WANT to be caricatures because if you didn’t this shit wouldn’t exist. God, if Obama doesn’t win, Blacks will be back in the fields by 2009. I guarantee it. I can’t be no slave, Silky!
Well, now that I have gotten it out of my system that is all for now. If you look to the side (left on MySpace, right on Blogger) you will see the Countdown play list is updated and SHOULD be running. If not let me know because I spent all day trying to fix that shit. I will be back up at some point this week because I am sure something will piss me off. If not, I will be back on Friday for sure. Until then, stay up peeps and enjoy Monday if you have it off!
Chachi Out!
So as you know, I went to see Wicked last week after TWO FUCKING YEARS of ditching the idea due to being poor or getting shitty ass tickets and all I can say is that I was NOT DISAPPOINTED! It was everything I ever dreamed of and more! Seeing as how I haven’t read the book in a few years and my iPod got wiped (because Apple sucks it dry) so my Wicked playlist got lost I was up on the story and was able to still sing along with three songs (All I can say is that I hope a certain someone wasn’t annoyed by my mouthing along to ‘Popular’) and it was a good adaptation (Zach pointed out something I totally missed but hey, reading is NOT ballin’).
So this has to be said: Glenda the Good Witch is HAWT:
I mean god damn I am not a fan of blonds but…I would so LOVE that. Keep in mind we were in box seats and I could see down her gowns (Cleavage at a 75 degree angle? It’s BOOB-TASTIC! They weren't even big either. They were oh so right...) so it was all visual glory. Give me a woman that can sing AND dance and you have my future wife. We could have our arguments in song! How bad ass would that be?! So if you are out there, Christina DeCicco I want to tell you how I feel. Because tonight, baby…I WANNA GET FREAKY WITH YOOOOOOOOOOU!!!
Hells yeah. If you get the chance, go see Wicked. It is great stuff! So now it is time for what is the third most anticipated movie on this blog (behind Spiderman 3 and Transformers) of 2007. Last years ‘Dead Man’s Chest’ was awesome if not riot inducing because of the ending and on Friday came the end of the trilogy. So I give you a Sunday Edition of…
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD!!
Hells yeah. If you get the chance, go see Wicked. It is great stuff! So now it is time for what is the third most anticipated movie on this blog (behind Spiderman 3 and Transformers) of 2007. Last years ‘Dead Man’s Chest’ was awesome if not riot inducing because of the ending and on Friday came the end of the trilogy. So I give you a Sunday Edition of…
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD!!
This Weeks Movie: Pirates of the Caribeean: At World’s End!
Okay, there were good and bad about this movie….
GOOD:
The Action: My god, if you thought Spiderman 3 and 300 were action packed those movies moved like fucking ‘Contact’ compared to Pirates 3. I can honestly say that this movie is the most ACTION PACKED film ever. From the opening sequence with Chow Yung Fat (Is there a movie where he ISN’T a bad ass? My fucking god the man RULES) to the pirate ship battles (Shades of Pirates! And Skies of Arcadia, fools! If you don’t know, fucking play them because they rock) to the non-stop running the film was a mile a minute. There were a shit load of minutes (more on that later) but the dead spots were minimal unlike Spiderman 3 and the action was fast paced unlike 300.
Johnny Depp: SNOOGLES! Although he wasn’t in the movie for the first 1/5th of the running time, when he DID come in it was awesome. Won’t ruin it, but I will just say that his introduction is the exact same as a lot of my dreams. Just Depp by the ship full! He actually carried the movie because Orlando Bloom is only believable as an elf and Keira Knightley is only believable as an 11 year old boy. Them kissing must send Michael Jackson over the fucking edge (more on that later as well) because their parts were a drag. Luckily it became the Jack Sparrow Show after his arrival because Johnny Depp was as aloof as ever. This performance was better than ‘Dead Man’s Chest’ and on par with ‘Black Pearl’. Oh, and did I mention that Johnny Depp is hot? If I didn’t….he’s hot.
The Effects: $300 MILLION DOLLARS WELL SPENT! This movie is what MC Chris meant when he said ‘epic in scope’ about God of War. Everything about this movie screamed over-the-top from Calypso, to the whirlpool scene to the opening Singapore battle. Pirates was a visual masterpiece. Spiderman had crisper fights and 300 had more epic battles but Pirates was the happy medium. The swashbuckling was well choreographed and the sheer presence of Davy Jones looked like he was real rather than a mish-mash of CGI and animatronics. The movie itself visually was impressive and well worth the watch based on that alone.
HOWEVER…there is some bad news…
BAD:
The Length: Holy fucking shit. 2 hours and 47 minutes was a LONG TIME. Now I will admit that it passed rather quickly, but the time was excessive. 20 minutes could have been cut from this film because although there was a lot of action, there was a bit TOO MUCH action. Even though scenes really didn’t drag and the dead spots were comedic it doesn’t fix the fact that this movie tried to be Lord of the Rings (and that is a can of worms I don’t have time to rant about right now). The only good thing about the length being so long was that it gave more time for action and plot development. Which brings me to my next problem…
The Plot: Okay, I know Spiderman 3 had three conflicts at one time and jumped back and forth but at the end of the day it was linear in scope from beginning to end and nothing was left hanging except for the Sandman and he sucks and was a plot device so it wasn’t that big a deal. As for Pirates 3…
WHAT IN THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!
There were no less than SEVEN plot twists and SIX betrayals in this movie and that is a low ball because after a while I stopped fucking caring and just waited for Jack Sparrow to be funny again and see shit blow up. Seriously, the plot was ALL OVER THE PLACE and not in a good way. I’m not going to sit here and say it is hard to get past that but it explains the length of the movie and was a DAMN GOOD REASON TO CUT IT SHORT BY THIRTY MINUTES! First off, any dialog about Keira’s plot twists could have been removed because it was pointless and could have easily been written out if for nothing else to give Chow some more screen time. It was obvious they tried to fit as much as they could in to this movie and all of that wasn’t even needed. Even though I kept up with the plot twists, a plot twist is like ice cream. If you keep on having them, they lose their appeal. By the time the fifth one happened I no longer cared and it turned me off from the plot. May not be the same for others but I just got annoyed by the ‘What a twist!’ feel of the movie.
The Little Boy Love Story: I could have done without Will Turner and Elizabeth whatever-the-fuck-her-name-was. Keira is not a convincing heroine and as for Orlando Bloom he needs to just fucking stop trying to be Johnny Depp. Their love story is tacked on for one and for two pirates don’t fall in love, they plunder the booty! In more ways than one, if you catch my drift. The only pirate love story was ‘Pirates of Penzance’ and that is more of a loose interpretation of pirate love. If there was EVER a more unconvincing pirate than Orlando Bloom, I’d like to see one. There were other story lines (Davy Jones/Calypso, Jack Sparrow and his father) that could have taken up the 25+ minutes their shitty ass story took up. Besides, you know Jack Sparrow totally wrecked that.
Okay, long story short this movie is a true summer blockbuster. True to form, it is heavy on action and adventure but is surprisingly heavy on plot. Sometimes less is more in the plot department for movies like this but it doesn’t take away from the viewing experience. It’s long and action packed, and if you let the action override the time you would take trying to decipher the plot then you will truly enjoy yourself. If not, you will still like it but nowhere near as much. So because of all these factors, I give this movie…
8 out of 10 Stars!!
(A fun, big budget summer movie. Long like the LOTR and Harry Potter but sadly with the plot ideas of the last two Matrix movies and The Hulk. Luckily, the plot doesn’t drag the overall film near as much as they did. Check it out if you have a free 2 days or so.)
Ladies and gentlemen…I give you the downfall of two sets of people. First, teenage girls:
What in the fuck? A movie based on a toy?! Before you run your mouth about Transformers, that toy has a legend to it and is part of nostalgia for more people than whatever in the fuck Bratz are. Secondly, Transformers gave us ‘You Got The Touch’ by Rick Derringer while the Bratz have given us nothing but the Dumbening of Teenage Girls and the rise of internet speak in the real world. LAWL! OH EM GEE! EN BEE DEE! How about Dee Oh Ay?! Because you r-tards need to die. Yes, I know I said a form of ‘leet speak’ but at least it stays within the community and for the most part isn’t mass marketed. We like our basements and comic book/gamer shops. The makers of this movie obviously wanted to make ‘Mean Girls 2’ but couldn’t get Lindsay Lohan off the white horse long enough to read the fucking script. This movie sucks and if you are a female and you watch it congratulations, you are well on your way to being the next Paris Hilton. Enjoy jail and herpes. The next part of the downfall of society is ‘Lip Gloss’:
Okay, I have ranted on this before because young girls should not want any attention to their fucking mouths. Lip gloss is for…shit I don’t know is it like Chap-Stick? Then USE FUCKING CHAP-STICK! Men aren’t looking at your lips, they are either looking at your tits or like me they aren’t looking at you at all because you are wearing fucking lip gloss and YOU ARE TRYING TO DRAW ATTENTION TO YOUR LIPS AND I AINT FALLING FOR THAT SHIT! That aint my issue at this point in time.
Shucking and jiving! SHUCKING AND JIVING! God-tittyfucking-dammit-Christ-of-all-that-is-fucking-holy! Black people….just stop. I can’t stand this shit. Might as well just shackle myself and take the first fucking bus to Alabama and start picking cotton. It’s times like this where I really believe that deep down, Black people WANT to be caricatures because if you didn’t this shit wouldn’t exist. God, if Obama doesn’t win, Blacks will be back in the fields by 2009. I guarantee it. I can’t be no slave, Silky!
Well, now that I have gotten it out of my system that is all for now. If you look to the side (left on MySpace, right on Blogger) you will see the Countdown play list is updated and SHOULD be running. If not let me know because I spent all day trying to fix that shit. I will be back up at some point this week because I am sure something will piss me off. If not, I will be back on Friday for sure. Until then, stay up peeps and enjoy Monday if you have it off!
Chachi Out!
Friday, May 25, 2007
Jeweled Shoes, Flying Monkeys and Bubbles? BALLIN!
Yeah, you know it. So Wicked has come and gone and just like Undercover Brother's tryst with a white woman, it was everything I ever dreamed of. If you haven’t seen that movie, it is good stereotyping fun. Aaaaaaanyway I am sure you are wondering how it was. Well, I will tell you Sunday because I am off to see Pirates 3 at 4:15pm (leaving work early, fools!) and tomorrow…I’m thinking D&B? Anyone?
Well, it is time for another edition of….
I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY!
Here is what I learned last night…
1) I am totally…Dangeresque when I dress to the nines. Plus…cool, cool, glasses!
Yes, and I have a length of pipe in my car.
2) I got totally “fashion served” once again by my date. And once again, I really didn’t mind. Got to be humble in the face of fashion defeat.
3) Duran Duran is one of the…nay…THE greatest pop group of all time. Those who disagree are a-holes. GIRLS ON FILM!
4) Rum is good drinking. That’s all really. No deep reason or anything like that. It just gets you drunk. Combine that with honey shrimp and that is some good action!
5) The amaretto! Oh my god…THE AMARETTO! How I missed thee, baby. Did you miss me? I know you did…mmmm. Fuck yeah.
6) People should have conversation in song. Seriously. There is no reason not to. Really think about it, dance offs rather than wars. Musical numbers in the Senate. Who ISN’T waiting for the Obama/Hillary rendition of ‘Somewhere Out There’? I know I am!
7) Snow globe, fishes! WHAT! Hey, had to get something to remember the trip. Couldn’t take one of those flying monkeys home. I’m sure the cat would LOVE that shit.
8) I am a creature of habit. And my car found out the hard way. I’M SORRY, BABY! I DIDN’T KNOW! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!
9) Emerald City is the next Atlanta. I guarantee, that city is blingin’! It was like a party at Diddy’s house! Little do people know, Diddy had flying monkeys in 1998. He also has a unicorn with wings that sings the songs from the movie ‘Dirty Dancing’. What can I say, Dirty Dancing was ‘Didderific’. Which brings me to my next point…
10) …jeweled shoes?
BALLIN!
Aint NOTHING more ballin’ than jeweled shoes! I am shocked and appalled that rappers haven’t thought of this! What is more ballerific than shining in your mouth, wrist, pinkie, belt AND shoes! Rappers…I am disappointed.
You know what, peeps. I am going to share something with you all. I hope you are sitting down because I came up with the most BALLIN’ IDEA EVER on Wednesday! It is going to make Zach and I GIGA-NAIRES (that word is so damn fresh!), so I hope you are ready to see me shining like Mr. Sparkle because when this blows up like Whitney’s nose you KNOW its on! Peeps….I give you:
PANDA FUR SUITS
Here is a bib; you are dribbling because that idea is so damn BALLIN’! Peeps, how fly would it be to have a suit made of PANDA FUR! Fashionable, exclusive and just straight up bad-ass! All I can say…is ‘Now That’s Ballin’. You know, if I made a song called that, it would so be a platinum hit. You know what?! I’m going to make a rap album! Hell, Deion Sanders did it:
Yeah, it’s time the Deuce put his ballerific lyrics on wax! Track listing coming soon! Don’t worry A2B fans, we haven’t broken up! Reunion tour as soon as Nick comes back! Coming to a Target parking lot near you soon!
Well, that is all for now. More up this weekend on Wicked, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End and whatever in the hell I decide to do on Saturday and Sunday. Memorial Day Extravaganza post! Stay ballin’ peeps!
Chachi Out!
Well, it is time for another edition of….
I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY!
Here is what I learned last night…
1) I am totally…Dangeresque when I dress to the nines. Plus…cool, cool, glasses!
Yes, and I have a length of pipe in my car.
2) I got totally “fashion served” once again by my date. And once again, I really didn’t mind. Got to be humble in the face of fashion defeat.
3) Duran Duran is one of the…nay…THE greatest pop group of all time. Those who disagree are a-holes. GIRLS ON FILM!
4) Rum is good drinking. That’s all really. No deep reason or anything like that. It just gets you drunk. Combine that with honey shrimp and that is some good action!
5) The amaretto! Oh my god…THE AMARETTO! How I missed thee, baby. Did you miss me? I know you did…mmmm. Fuck yeah.
6) People should have conversation in song. Seriously. There is no reason not to. Really think about it, dance offs rather than wars. Musical numbers in the Senate. Who ISN’T waiting for the Obama/Hillary rendition of ‘Somewhere Out There’? I know I am!
7) Snow globe, fishes! WHAT! Hey, had to get something to remember the trip. Couldn’t take one of those flying monkeys home. I’m sure the cat would LOVE that shit.
8) I am a creature of habit. And my car found out the hard way. I’M SORRY, BABY! I DIDN’T KNOW! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!
9) Emerald City is the next Atlanta. I guarantee, that city is blingin’! It was like a party at Diddy’s house! Little do people know, Diddy had flying monkeys in 1998. He also has a unicorn with wings that sings the songs from the movie ‘Dirty Dancing’. What can I say, Dirty Dancing was ‘Didderific’. Which brings me to my next point…
10) …jeweled shoes?
BALLIN!
Aint NOTHING more ballin’ than jeweled shoes! I am shocked and appalled that rappers haven’t thought of this! What is more ballerific than shining in your mouth, wrist, pinkie, belt AND shoes! Rappers…I am disappointed.
You know what, peeps. I am going to share something with you all. I hope you are sitting down because I came up with the most BALLIN’ IDEA EVER on Wednesday! It is going to make Zach and I GIGA-NAIRES (that word is so damn fresh!), so I hope you are ready to see me shining like Mr. Sparkle because when this blows up like Whitney’s nose you KNOW its on! Peeps….I give you:
PANDA FUR SUITS
Here is a bib; you are dribbling because that idea is so damn BALLIN’! Peeps, how fly would it be to have a suit made of PANDA FUR! Fashionable, exclusive and just straight up bad-ass! All I can say…is ‘Now That’s Ballin’. You know, if I made a song called that, it would so be a platinum hit. You know what?! I’m going to make a rap album! Hell, Deion Sanders did it:
Yeah, it’s time the Deuce put his ballerific lyrics on wax! Track listing coming soon! Don’t worry A2B fans, we haven’t broken up! Reunion tour as soon as Nick comes back! Coming to a Target parking lot near you soon!
Well, that is all for now. More up this weekend on Wicked, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End and whatever in the hell I decide to do on Saturday and Sunday. Memorial Day Extravaganza post! Stay ballin’ peeps!
Chachi Out!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
No Rest For The 'Wicked'. No Shit, I Woke Up At 5:45 This Morning.
What is up peeps? It is Thursday and you know what that means. Nothing. Just kidding, ya’ll! Even though it is Thursday, I am giving a gift for the holiday weekend! The Countdown a full day early!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We start with a classing j-rock band making a long awaited comeback!
20. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (New Entry)
WELL IT IS ABOUT DAMN TIME! If there was ever a band that needed a new video (not named Maximum The Hormone) it was Hyde and the crew! Well they are back and avant-garde with this video! It is…interesting to say the least. Despite its weirdness, it is still good stuff and great to have The Arc back on the scene!
19. Daughtry – It’s Not Over (Last Week #16, two weeks at #1)
Daughtry has been hanging on to the Top 20 for a while but it looks like this may be his last week on here. Don’t worry, he has a new video for ‘Home’ and supposedly is making one for ‘What I Want’ featuring Slash so prepare to see the REAL king of American Idol back soon! He could be bigger than Kelly Clarkson when it is all said and done. And she has some backyard to tend to if you know what I mean. Good stuff!
18. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (New Entry)
DAMN YOU MANNIE FRESH! You and your bangin beats had me at hello! Once again, I go back to the abusive relationship that is T.I. and his damn hooks. I am not going to lie…I jam to this a lot. Just like ‘Top Back’ I cant get this song out of my damn head now. Here is to hoping that T.I. FINALLY kicks Fiddy out of the top spot in hip hop. Anyone but MIMS at this point. Can’t stand that dude. The King is back!
17. K-OS – Sunday Morning (Last Week #15)
K-OS has a good run, but it looks like his run may be coming to an end. Not like I have a one hip hop video rule or anything. Is K-OS related to will.i.am in any way shape or form? Just wondering.
16. Three Days Grace – Never Too Late (Last Week #12)
Another video on the downswing. Here is to the hope of some new stuff from these guys soon. Pretty good for Canadians. No Bryan Adams, but still.
15. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #19)
Yummy. This video moves up four big spots this week because it is THAT DAMN HOT. Yeah, I have a thing for Japanese women who can sing and dance, sue me. If you play guitar…hell yeah. You know, why cant a woman write ME a song? That isn’t about staying 100 feet away from her. That was nice of Mandy Moore to put my restraining order into song for me. That’s why I love her…and send her letters three times a day. POST OFFICE DELIVERS RAIN OR SHINE, MANDY!
14. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (Last Week #7, Plunge of the Week)
UVERworld has been (arguably) the most successful act on the Countdown (Three #1 videos and another peaking at #2) since its inception and I cant really argue that. This video falls a MASSIVE seven spots which is the biggest drop in a long time. However, ‘endscape’ has really grown on my I must say and may be on here soon.
13. M-Flo feat. Crystal Kay – Love Don’t Cry (Last Week #14)
Crystal Kay shakes up one more spot this week. Did I mention that Crystal Kay is HAWT? If I haven’t, she is so damn fine it hurts. I mean really. Looking at her is like watching the Trasnformers trailer over and over again in HD on a 50 inch LCD. Just thinking….OH MY GOD!!! Couldn’t…hold it in.
12. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #10, four weeks at #1)
So Mr. Legend falls out of the Top 10 for the first time since February. After a dominant run including a full month at #1 (longest reign of 2007 so far!) this year may be just as big as last year was for John. Here is for ‘Again’ being the next single and video!
11. Fall Out Boy – Thnks Fr Th Mmrs (Last Week #13)
Wow. Fall Out Boy is taking emo to strange new places. Maybe the Top 10. Hard to believe but much like I do in a suit; they clean up pretty well when they need to.
10. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #17, Biggest Mover)
Hell yes! Abingdon Boys School makes a huge leap into the Top 10 this week! This song rocks way past Pluto. Not only that, I had no idea this was the side project of the lead singer of TM Revolution! I need to read up a little more. Man, that explains a whole hell of a lot!
9. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #11)
Well Yui is alone in history. She has had two videos in the Top 10 on TWO separate occasions. That is good work if I say so myself. I was watching this while chatting the other day (when I went to sleep…that is the ultimate badge of lameness right there) and it has grown on me a lot. Oh, and I love acoustic guitar and Japanese women. Yeah…you know it.
8. Kumi Koda – Get Up & Move! (Last Week #6)
My lady love doesn’t make it to the Top Five this time out, falling two spots this week with this saucy…saucy video. She has a new single next month which means there will be a new video ANY DAY NOW.
7. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #9)
Orange Range hasn’t been up this high in a LONG TIME. You know, they were one of the groups that got me back into J-pop (along with Hikaru Utada, M-Flo, BoA, Bonnie Pink and Kumi Koda) while I was in college and aside from their last album, these guys always give me entertainment. Here is to another kick ass album!
6. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #4, one week at #1)
NOOOOO! You falls out of the Top Five for the first time in two months! Don’t get me wrong, I still love this video. However, it is no longer my favorite ring tone (you know what it is. 3, 2, 1 MAKE SOME NOISE!) and sadly no longer my favorite song. With all that being said….Yui is still hot and plays guitar. Hell yeah. 5. Rascal Flats – Stand (Last Week #8)
We are into the Top Five and look who is here! Yeah, Rascal Flats. I still like this song, but don’t think I’m going to go all country on you now. The rest of it is still not my cup of tea but this video and song are cool.
4. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #5)
DAAAH! Maroon 5 inches ever so close to the Top Spot this week with this 80’s-esque video. I forgot to pick up their album on Tuesday, I will grab it on Saturday and tell the peeps how it is. Give it up for Duran Duran 2K7!
3. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (Last Week #2)
So after two weeks as the runner up, Avril falls back a spot to the #3 position. It’s hard to knock off the champ, I will give her that. Oh, and the ‘Keep Holding On’ song from the Ergon (BOOOOOO!) soundtrack is not a bad song. Even with that, all of Avril’s surprisingly sexy dancing couldn’t take the throne. We are down to two…
2. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (Last Week #3)
Yuna Ito is one step away! After a lengthy trek, the longest running video is ONE STEP AWAY from her first #1 video! I STILL cannot find a subbed copy of the second episode of ‘Unfair’ (although I have seen the first five with very little idea of what is going on) which is kind of annoying. Good show from what I can tell. Well, with Yuna falling just short, you know who is #1 this week yet again…
1. nobodyknows+ - Hero’s Come Back! (Last Week #1, four weeks at #1)
EVERYBODY STAND UP! It is a full month at #1 for nobodyknows+ as they tie John Legend for the longest reign at #1 of 2007! I actually got some props for the ring tone this week, too! Albeit in the manga section of borders but still. For a first time out, these guys are truly dominating! Much like Naruto is now that it you know…follows the manga kind of. I need to start reading that again. Ichiban, fishes!
Well, that is all for this week! Can nobodyknows+ hold on to #1 for a one two, tree, fo, FIF WEEK! Or will Yuna Ito finally take her place on the top after a three month journey? Don’t forget Avril, Maroon 5 and even a fast moving Orange Range! Tune in next Friday for that!
WICKED IN T-MINUS TWELVE HOURS! CAN I GET A FUCK YEAH?!
Yeah…just a tad bit excited. Add in ‘Pirates of the Caribean: At Worlds End’ on Friday and dare I say this is the best May EVER! I will try to be back either Saturday morning or some time on Sunday for a wrap-up. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We start with a classing j-rock band making a long awaited comeback!
20. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (New Entry)
WELL IT IS ABOUT DAMN TIME! If there was ever a band that needed a new video (not named Maximum The Hormone) it was Hyde and the crew! Well they are back and avant-garde with this video! It is…interesting to say the least. Despite its weirdness, it is still good stuff and great to have The Arc back on the scene!
19. Daughtry – It’s Not Over (Last Week #16, two weeks at #1)
Daughtry has been hanging on to the Top 20 for a while but it looks like this may be his last week on here. Don’t worry, he has a new video for ‘Home’ and supposedly is making one for ‘What I Want’ featuring Slash so prepare to see the REAL king of American Idol back soon! He could be bigger than Kelly Clarkson when it is all said and done. And she has some backyard to tend to if you know what I mean. Good stuff!
18. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (New Entry)
DAMN YOU MANNIE FRESH! You and your bangin beats had me at hello! Once again, I go back to the abusive relationship that is T.I. and his damn hooks. I am not going to lie…I jam to this a lot. Just like ‘Top Back’ I cant get this song out of my damn head now. Here is to hoping that T.I. FINALLY kicks Fiddy out of the top spot in hip hop. Anyone but MIMS at this point. Can’t stand that dude. The King is back!
17. K-OS – Sunday Morning (Last Week #15)
K-OS has a good run, but it looks like his run may be coming to an end. Not like I have a one hip hop video rule or anything. Is K-OS related to will.i.am in any way shape or form? Just wondering.
16. Three Days Grace – Never Too Late (Last Week #12)
Another video on the downswing. Here is to the hope of some new stuff from these guys soon. Pretty good for Canadians. No Bryan Adams, but still.
15. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #19)
Yummy. This video moves up four big spots this week because it is THAT DAMN HOT. Yeah, I have a thing for Japanese women who can sing and dance, sue me. If you play guitar…hell yeah. You know, why cant a woman write ME a song? That isn’t about staying 100 feet away from her. That was nice of Mandy Moore to put my restraining order into song for me. That’s why I love her…and send her letters three times a day. POST OFFICE DELIVERS RAIN OR SHINE, MANDY!
14. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (Last Week #7, Plunge of the Week)
UVERworld has been (arguably) the most successful act on the Countdown (Three #1 videos and another peaking at #2) since its inception and I cant really argue that. This video falls a MASSIVE seven spots which is the biggest drop in a long time. However, ‘endscape’ has really grown on my I must say and may be on here soon.
13. M-Flo feat. Crystal Kay – Love Don’t Cry (Last Week #14)
Crystal Kay shakes up one more spot this week. Did I mention that Crystal Kay is HAWT? If I haven’t, she is so damn fine it hurts. I mean really. Looking at her is like watching the Trasnformers trailer over and over again in HD on a 50 inch LCD. Just thinking….OH MY GOD!!! Couldn’t…hold it in.
12. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #10, four weeks at #1)
So Mr. Legend falls out of the Top 10 for the first time since February. After a dominant run including a full month at #1 (longest reign of 2007 so far!) this year may be just as big as last year was for John. Here is for ‘Again’ being the next single and video!
11. Fall Out Boy – Thnks Fr Th Mmrs (Last Week #13)
Wow. Fall Out Boy is taking emo to strange new places. Maybe the Top 10. Hard to believe but much like I do in a suit; they clean up pretty well when they need to.
10. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #17, Biggest Mover)
Hell yes! Abingdon Boys School makes a huge leap into the Top 10 this week! This song rocks way past Pluto. Not only that, I had no idea this was the side project of the lead singer of TM Revolution! I need to read up a little more. Man, that explains a whole hell of a lot!
9. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #11)
Well Yui is alone in history. She has had two videos in the Top 10 on TWO separate occasions. That is good work if I say so myself. I was watching this while chatting the other day (when I went to sleep…that is the ultimate badge of lameness right there) and it has grown on me a lot. Oh, and I love acoustic guitar and Japanese women. Yeah…you know it.
8. Kumi Koda – Get Up & Move! (Last Week #6)
My lady love doesn’t make it to the Top Five this time out, falling two spots this week with this saucy…saucy video. She has a new single next month which means there will be a new video ANY DAY NOW.
7. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #9)
Orange Range hasn’t been up this high in a LONG TIME. You know, they were one of the groups that got me back into J-pop (along with Hikaru Utada, M-Flo, BoA, Bonnie Pink and Kumi Koda) while I was in college and aside from their last album, these guys always give me entertainment. Here is to another kick ass album!
6. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #4, one week at #1)
NOOOOO! You falls out of the Top Five for the first time in two months! Don’t get me wrong, I still love this video. However, it is no longer my favorite ring tone (you know what it is. 3, 2, 1 MAKE SOME NOISE!) and sadly no longer my favorite song. With all that being said….Yui is still hot and plays guitar. Hell yeah. 5. Rascal Flats – Stand (Last Week #8)
We are into the Top Five and look who is here! Yeah, Rascal Flats. I still like this song, but don’t think I’m going to go all country on you now. The rest of it is still not my cup of tea but this video and song are cool.
4. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #5)
DAAAH! Maroon 5 inches ever so close to the Top Spot this week with this 80’s-esque video. I forgot to pick up their album on Tuesday, I will grab it on Saturday and tell the peeps how it is. Give it up for Duran Duran 2K7!
3. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (Last Week #2)
So after two weeks as the runner up, Avril falls back a spot to the #3 position. It’s hard to knock off the champ, I will give her that. Oh, and the ‘Keep Holding On’ song from the Ergon (BOOOOOO!) soundtrack is not a bad song. Even with that, all of Avril’s surprisingly sexy dancing couldn’t take the throne. We are down to two…
2. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (Last Week #3)
Yuna Ito is one step away! After a lengthy trek, the longest running video is ONE STEP AWAY from her first #1 video! I STILL cannot find a subbed copy of the second episode of ‘Unfair’ (although I have seen the first five with very little idea of what is going on) which is kind of annoying. Good show from what I can tell. Well, with Yuna falling just short, you know who is #1 this week yet again…
1. nobodyknows+ - Hero’s Come Back! (Last Week #1, four weeks at #1)
EVERYBODY STAND UP! It is a full month at #1 for nobodyknows+ as they tie John Legend for the longest reign at #1 of 2007! I actually got some props for the ring tone this week, too! Albeit in the manga section of borders but still. For a first time out, these guys are truly dominating! Much like Naruto is now that it you know…follows the manga kind of. I need to start reading that again. Ichiban, fishes!
Well, that is all for this week! Can nobodyknows+ hold on to #1 for a one two, tree, fo, FIF WEEK! Or will Yuna Ito finally take her place on the top after a three month journey? Don’t forget Avril, Maroon 5 and even a fast moving Orange Range! Tune in next Friday for that!
WICKED IN T-MINUS TWELVE HOURS! CAN I GET A FUCK YEAH?!
Yeah…just a tad bit excited. Add in ‘Pirates of the Caribean: At Worlds End’ on Friday and dare I say this is the best May EVER! I will try to be back either Saturday morning or some time on Sunday for a wrap-up. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out!
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Kids Jump Up To Get Beat Down!
What is up peeps! The Chachi has a little bit of stress going on (those that know me know why) but he is getting along. There should be good news soon. As you know, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End comes out this Friday (HELLS YEAH!) and I go to Wicked on Thursday (FUCK YEAH!) so this is a pretty action packed week! Problem is I have $13.88 until I get paid. Dine and dash, baby! Too bad Rick’s idea for ‘Pay and Dash’ never took off; it was actually a pretty good idea.
So now it is time for a new segment of Passion of Chachi! This is something I call…
THAT’S FUNNY TO ME!
The place for news and stories that are funny to me and I couldn’t give a donkey fuck if anyone else finds it hilarious or not. Which isn’t different from usual but now it has a title. First off…
FUNNY TO ME: Akon Is An Old Ass African!
So I have been saying that much like LeBron James (BULLSHIT he is under 30) and Greg Oden (who was playing when there was no shot clock) there is no way Akon is how old he claims to be. Everywhere said he was 25, which would make him one of the fugliest 25 year old in the world. I’m 26 now, so I’m in a new unattractive bracket. Then I began to investigate. How could a man with three wives only be 25? He spent time in prison AND moved back and forth from America to Senegal. As I know from being friends with Mormons, polygamy is illegal in America so he had to do it in the second A-Town (The original A-Town is Athens, fool! Greece in the mother-fucking house!) of Africa. I figured he had to be AT LEAST 30, and that is being generous.
Well, boy was I off. It turns out that our friend Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Thiam (I don’t care how racist it sounds. That shit is FUNNY! Sounds like a sound effect from Winslow from Police Academy!) is well past 30. Akon is reportedly 35 years old! Why is that funny to me? First off I can’t stand him. I always said that Keith Sweat should take him out because he is taking his style. Akon sucks, and I know I say that a lot but if you really listen to his words what the fuck does he bring? I mean they all can’t be Marvin Gaye or Curtis Mayfield (god…I sound old as hell) but at least try to not sound like an idiot. Between Akon, R.Kelly and T-Pain we can officially say that R&B is dead.
Second off, it puts his dry-hump-a-thon with the minor in a (sadly) hilarious new light. Now I am personally through with this story. Just charge him with some sort of impropriety with a minor and call it a day. As dumb as she was, she is still a minor and he is an adult. If simulating sexual acts with a minor is illegal in Trinidad then he should be charged and tried. The end. It goes back to my theory on minors:
“Everything you do to a minor is cool…as long as you pee on them”
Tell me I’m wrong. Is it a coincidence that R.Kelly’s album comes out the week before his trial? I think not, peeps. The simple fact is that Akon is no Robert Kelly…and that aint saying much. It is funny that he is lying about his age to acquire a younger audience, when Nolan and I are living proof that the older you are, the more the younger crowd wants you. And I am an asshole with NO money! Akon is (conceivably) rich AND has a Lamborghini Gallardo! He said so in a song so it must be true! Combine that with being older than R.Kelly (To which any woman that wants to even be close to that woman is a stupid whore and needs to be shot. He is a pedophile and a pisser. That is coming from someone with the Hinoi Team collection so you KNOW he has problems) and he doesn’t need to lie about his age! Girls going to the club in Trinidad do. Oh, snap! I SO went there!
FUNNY TO ME: Kids Getting Whooped In Public (AKA Giving Them ‘The Business’)
This will always be funny to me; I don’t care what anyone says. I am not old school, I am not a comedian and I am not an old black man quite yet. However, I do believe that their aint nothing an ass-whoopin’ can’t fix. I always say nothing makes a kid act right better than a right…followed by a LEFT. So when I see kids now acting like fools with their parents around (or more increasingly when they AREN’T around but that is a different rant) I expect them to lay down the law, or at least lay them down to the fullest extent of the law. I sure hope that kid catches a beatin’. THEN NOTHING HAPPENS! That kid throws a tantrum or cusses his/her parents a new one (when I heard that girl call her mother an ‘old bitch’ TO HER FACE at Park Meadows I almost kicked her ass myself) and all I can do is look in disgust.
Which is why when a kid gets the business for being a little shit…it is sweet. Now I don’t mean abuse. Abuse draws blood. Discipline draws respect for rules and regulations. Plus it puts the fear in that little bastard. Now, I have had the privilege to see beatings from their fruition and I sometimes just want to say ‘Kid, you are treading on ground zero!’ to help them out. But they got to learn. That kid must fight this battle. Well, not fight that gets the beat down worse.
So why is seeing a kid getting whooped on funny to me? First off because it IS NOT ME. I have been there…that shit aint fun. Especially when it wasn’t your fault. I learned to not show my ass (Not literally. It’s a figure of speech for acting like a damn fool) in public and it never happened again. You see, The Business (Oh yeah I just coined a phrase!) isn’t something that should be done all the time. Then it becomes abuse. It is like a Bankai, you use it because there is no other recourse in battle to defeat your opponent. The Business is for a kid that just aint acting right. It is the last form or discipline because it is the most severe. Should someone ever have to deliver The Business you know (in a perfect world of not horrible parents) that kid crossed the point of no return. Trust me, I have seen kids cross that line and man…they needed some discipline then because if they didn’t get it in some way shape or form, they were going to get it in prison. The health inspector doesn’t give the business in the joint, he/she doles out the HARSHNESS. And you know what I mean.
I know a lot of you are against child abuse and so am I. However, I am all about discipline. If there are rules and regulations and you break them, then you should be punished for those actions in a form that makes you sure that you will not break that rule again. The punishment should fit the crime; kids shouldn’t be given The Business for being kids. Whooping an 8 year old for running around like an 8 year old is ignorant. Whooping an 8 year old for setting something on fire or dressing like a 21 year old is just the right thing to do. I am not saying beat your kids but just punish them for being r-tards…and my entertainment. Or beat them with a bag of Valencia oranges. They don’t leave a mark and you have cool glass of OJ for the morning. I’m kidding for fucks’ sake.
Well, that is all for now. The Countdown will be up Friday and I will have my review of Pirates up odds are Sunday. It is starting with 10 stars and working down from there, just so you know. Two days till ‘Wicked’ fool!
Chachi Out
So now it is time for a new segment of Passion of Chachi! This is something I call…
THAT’S FUNNY TO ME!
The place for news and stories that are funny to me and I couldn’t give a donkey fuck if anyone else finds it hilarious or not. Which isn’t different from usual but now it has a title. First off…
FUNNY TO ME: Akon Is An Old Ass African!
So I have been saying that much like LeBron James (BULLSHIT he is under 30) and Greg Oden (who was playing when there was no shot clock) there is no way Akon is how old he claims to be. Everywhere said he was 25, which would make him one of the fugliest 25 year old in the world. I’m 26 now, so I’m in a new unattractive bracket. Then I began to investigate. How could a man with three wives only be 25? He spent time in prison AND moved back and forth from America to Senegal. As I know from being friends with Mormons, polygamy is illegal in America so he had to do it in the second A-Town (The original A-Town is Athens, fool! Greece in the mother-fucking house!) of Africa. I figured he had to be AT LEAST 30, and that is being generous.
Well, boy was I off. It turns out that our friend Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Thiam (I don’t care how racist it sounds. That shit is FUNNY! Sounds like a sound effect from Winslow from Police Academy!) is well past 30. Akon is reportedly 35 years old! Why is that funny to me? First off I can’t stand him. I always said that Keith Sweat should take him out because he is taking his style. Akon sucks, and I know I say that a lot but if you really listen to his words what the fuck does he bring? I mean they all can’t be Marvin Gaye or Curtis Mayfield (god…I sound old as hell) but at least try to not sound like an idiot. Between Akon, R.Kelly and T-Pain we can officially say that R&B is dead.
Second off, it puts his dry-hump-a-thon with the minor in a (sadly) hilarious new light. Now I am personally through with this story. Just charge him with some sort of impropriety with a minor and call it a day. As dumb as she was, she is still a minor and he is an adult. If simulating sexual acts with a minor is illegal in Trinidad then he should be charged and tried. The end. It goes back to my theory on minors:
“Everything you do to a minor is cool…as long as you pee on them”
Tell me I’m wrong. Is it a coincidence that R.Kelly’s album comes out the week before his trial? I think not, peeps. The simple fact is that Akon is no Robert Kelly…and that aint saying much. It is funny that he is lying about his age to acquire a younger audience, when Nolan and I are living proof that the older you are, the more the younger crowd wants you. And I am an asshole with NO money! Akon is (conceivably) rich AND has a Lamborghini Gallardo! He said so in a song so it must be true! Combine that with being older than R.Kelly (To which any woman that wants to even be close to that woman is a stupid whore and needs to be shot. He is a pedophile and a pisser. That is coming from someone with the Hinoi Team collection so you KNOW he has problems) and he doesn’t need to lie about his age! Girls going to the club in Trinidad do. Oh, snap! I SO went there!
FUNNY TO ME: Kids Getting Whooped In Public (AKA Giving Them ‘The Business’)
This will always be funny to me; I don’t care what anyone says. I am not old school, I am not a comedian and I am not an old black man quite yet. However, I do believe that their aint nothing an ass-whoopin’ can’t fix. I always say nothing makes a kid act right better than a right…followed by a LEFT. So when I see kids now acting like fools with their parents around (or more increasingly when they AREN’T around but that is a different rant) I expect them to lay down the law, or at least lay them down to the fullest extent of the law. I sure hope that kid catches a beatin’. THEN NOTHING HAPPENS! That kid throws a tantrum or cusses his/her parents a new one (when I heard that girl call her mother an ‘old bitch’ TO HER FACE at Park Meadows I almost kicked her ass myself) and all I can do is look in disgust.
Which is why when a kid gets the business for being a little shit…it is sweet. Now I don’t mean abuse. Abuse draws blood. Discipline draws respect for rules and regulations. Plus it puts the fear in that little bastard. Now, I have had the privilege to see beatings from their fruition and I sometimes just want to say ‘Kid, you are treading on ground zero!’ to help them out. But they got to learn. That kid must fight this battle. Well, not fight that gets the beat down worse.
So why is seeing a kid getting whooped on funny to me? First off because it IS NOT ME. I have been there…that shit aint fun. Especially when it wasn’t your fault. I learned to not show my ass (Not literally. It’s a figure of speech for acting like a damn fool) in public and it never happened again. You see, The Business (Oh yeah I just coined a phrase!) isn’t something that should be done all the time. Then it becomes abuse. It is like a Bankai, you use it because there is no other recourse in battle to defeat your opponent. The Business is for a kid that just aint acting right. It is the last form or discipline because it is the most severe. Should someone ever have to deliver The Business you know (in a perfect world of not horrible parents) that kid crossed the point of no return. Trust me, I have seen kids cross that line and man…they needed some discipline then because if they didn’t get it in some way shape or form, they were going to get it in prison. The health inspector doesn’t give the business in the joint, he/she doles out the HARSHNESS. And you know what I mean.
I know a lot of you are against child abuse and so am I. However, I am all about discipline. If there are rules and regulations and you break them, then you should be punished for those actions in a form that makes you sure that you will not break that rule again. The punishment should fit the crime; kids shouldn’t be given The Business for being kids. Whooping an 8 year old for running around like an 8 year old is ignorant. Whooping an 8 year old for setting something on fire or dressing like a 21 year old is just the right thing to do. I am not saying beat your kids but just punish them for being r-tards…and my entertainment. Or beat them with a bag of Valencia oranges. They don’t leave a mark and you have cool glass of OJ for the morning. I’m kidding for fucks’ sake.
Well, that is all for now. The Countdown will be up Friday and I will have my review of Pirates up odds are Sunday. It is starting with 10 stars and working down from there, just so you know. Two days till ‘Wicked’ fool!
Chachi Out
Sunday, May 20, 2007
It's Raining Men!
What is up peeps! It is Sunday and you know what that means! It’s….the beginning of the week. Yeah, nothing special happened this weekend. Saw Shrek 3 with Zach, hung out with Nolan but that was about it. Hard to do anything when you don’t get paid for four more days.
So on Wednesday I did my 20 Hawtest Video Game Ladies and to show that this blog isn’t all about the men, I have something for the ladies. Oh yeah, you know it. The ladies went first, now it’s time for the men to STRUT THEIR STUFF! I give you the…
20 Bishie Hawt Male Video Game Characters
We start with someone that we have never seen before, but we SO KNOW he’s hawt!
20. Master Chief (Halo Series)
This man has looked the Covenant dead in their beady little eyes and said ‘Not on my watch, bitches!’ Nothing says hawt like saving the planet from an alien invasion. All while never seeing his face. Just like Batman, minus the money, the brooding and the weird young boy fetish. Loves me some Batman, but there is something wrong with that.
19. Link (Legend of Zelda Series)
Straight up elven hawtie right here! Link was one of the first video game characters to save the princess from peril. There is nothing hawter than a hero, people! Although his fashion left a little to be desired (green is so NOT the new black) he pulled off the look well. Not only that, he was handy with a sword, boomerang, hook-shot, ocarina AND a bow and arrow. A renaissance man if there ever was one!
18. Kyo Kusanagi (King of Fighter Series)
Okay, secret time. This was my first video game bishie! Kyo is my favorite player in the King of Fighters series and for good reason. The man is HAWT in more ways than one if you get my drift. And I think you do. He used his hawtness to actually create fire to kick the asses of his opponents! Beat that!
17. Squall Leonheart (Final Fantasy VIII)
As you all know, I liked FFVIII, one of the six people that did. The love story between Squall and Rinoa really made the game for me and created (IMHO) the best ending of all the Final Fantasy games I have played (Final Fantasy VII…I am so looking at your ass!). Not only does he have a kick ass Gunsword, he has some funky fresh ballroom dance moves and impeccable fashion sense! Two belts? It takes work to pull that style off, and he does!
16. Vega (Street Fighter Series)
Muy es bueno! One of the original of the ‘handsome’ characters, you can’t look at Vega and not say he is on fire! So damn fine he has to cover his face with a mask so that the ugly people don’t harm his moneymaker. If you have seen ‘Street Fighter II V’ (the V is foe Vega!) then you saw his HAWT fight with another character that may be on here. Trust me, if you haven’t seen it, it is one of the better fights in anime.
15. Sam Fisher (Splinter Cell Series)
He may not have invented stealth, but Sam Fisher made it SEXY. Something about night-vision goggles, clmbing on ceilings and that Wentworth bald head look (someone tell me that Prison Break doesn’t have some Splinter Cell tones then you’re nuts) make him the mega-hawt stealth hawtie!
14. Ken (Street Fighter Series)
The Dragon Punching blonde ass-kicker from the SF series makes it on here! Not only is he hawt, he is also a family man! He has been with Eliza for what, ten different SF games? Now THAT’S love!
13. Vincent Valentine (Final Fantasy VIII)
Now I am just going to say it: Final Fantasy VII may be the sexiest game of all time. The brooding, Gackt-like Vincent is one of the characters that turn the temperature UP on that game! He mutates into monsters (Which….to each their own I guess. Not my thing, though) and is also part vampire, which we ALL KNOW are hot. More on that later.
12. Marcus Fenix (Gears of War)
A newer character, but just as hot as the rest! Marcus is true 100% pure, world saving, monster killing, chainsaw using dude-stuff!
11. Liu Kang (Mortal Kombat)
MORTAL KOMBAT!! Maybe Mortal HAWT-BAT! Eh, it’s a reach. But something about a man that will kill another man to win a tournament with a spotty and questionable plot…is sexy. Not to me personally, but you know.
10. Simon Belmont (Castlevania Series)
What is sexier than a vampire? Someone that HUNTS vampires. Long before Buffy and her weird ass nose, there was Simon Belmont, the first of the Belmont clan to have his own game! Oh, and that whip can be seen as hot to some. Anything involving pain and sex…aint my thing. Hell, sex is painful enough for me because….it’s going to be bad.
9. Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy VII)
W00t! Now I know you are probably shocked that Cloud is down here so low. As am I, but first off he was a fashion DISASTER in the video game. Purple jumpsuit? I mean NON-flattering! Now in Advent Children he was a SUPER-HAWTIE! That black leather and his gravity-abiding hair was just sexy!
8. Mario (Super Mario Brothers Series)
Mama mia! The man that started it all! Mario proved that big dudes could save the world too! And that magic mushrooms and fire flowers get you FUCKED UP! I mean you straight trip balls on that shit!
7. Kratos (God of War)
Nothing says sexy like a God, peeps. Kratos made being a murderous, violent Spartan with blades attached to your forearms the new black! Just rippling, 100% Spartan hawtness. Oh, and showed self control by not just wrecking the HELL out of the Oracle despite having one titty just hanging out for no reason.
6. Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid Series)
Okay, I had this discussion with Zach on Friday and I wanted to put Snake higher. Hell, his name is Solid Snake…which just SCREAMS manly. And I think you know why. The problem with Snake is…well…he has a mullet. Mullets may work with Irocs, but not with hawtness. And for that, he loses some ground.
5. Alucard (Castlevania: Symphony of the Night)
Vampire slaying PAR-TEEEEEEE! As one who owns Castlevania: SOTN I must say this it may be the best side scrolling game of all time. Yes, even up there with Super Mario Brothers. Oh, I went there. Not only that, but Alucard is a TOTAL hawtie! We are talking Gackt levels of hot, here.
4. Leon Kennedy (Resident Evil 2 & 4)
I will admit, there is something hot about fighting zombies. I said it about Jill Valentine and I am saying it about Leon. He filled out a police uniform quite nicely in RE2 and in RE4…lets just say next-gen did Mr. Kennedy right. Not only that, he saved the President’s daughter! Press A! Press ! Heh, had to work that in.
3. Toshiro Hitsugaya (Bleach/Jump All-Stars)
Oooooohhhhhhh! I just want to eat him up he is so CUUUUUUTE! Look at that face and just TRY to resist him! I frickin dare you! He has the baddest Bankai (aside from that asshole Aizen), is straight up Han Solo in his young mack game (check out Episode 126) and he is so DAMN cute! I just wanna eat him up! Snoogles! Seriously….I’m straight.
2. Dante (Devil May Cry Series)
Yes. YES. YES! Is there anything on the PLANET hotter than fighting demons in leather? Anything? YOU ARE A BOLD FACED LIAR! There are very few things in this world hotter than Dante from Devil May Cry. Despite the fact that fighting a mountain lion covered in steaks is easier than beating the series of games (especially the damn original DMC3, not the special edition) his hawtness made up for the eventual violation of your ass via controller.
1. Sephiroth
Is there anyone hawter? The answer is no. Sephiroth is more brooding than Cloud, exudes more sexiness than Leon, is more manly than Snake, just as brutal as Kratos (Aeris, anyone? I cried too but has there ever been a hotter death not involving Carbonite and Han Solo?) and looks better in leather than Dante. Yes, he tried to destroy the world but he looked SO GOOD while doing it! The baddest man in videogames is also the hottest!
Wow, that was hawt. Now it is time to cool things down with a new summer film that I wasn’t planning on seeing but seeing as how I have no life or other friends…yeah I went. So now, another weekend edition of…
MASTER CHIEF CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD!!
This Weeks Movie: Shrek 3
I’m going to try something different for this installment. We are going to play Hit or Miss!
Hit: Puss and Donkey
Donkey stole the first movie, Puss N’ Boots stole the second. This time, the combination of the two was one of the bright points of the movie. Eddie Murphy, when not knocking up former Spice Girls does good young adult comedy for the most part. As for Puss…Antonio Banderas is too hot for words so yeah, good stuff. The switching was funny (and not ran into the ground) while they really provided the majority of the humor for the movie. Which leads me to something.
Miss: Shrek
You know, I watched the first Shrek and really…didn’t like Shrek. The character or Shrek is rather limited. I have never watched the movie for the lead, rather for the supporting characters. He is a boring character and has almost no funny parts to this film. It was almost like he was there solely because the movie was named after him. Like Lil Jon on his own albums, but at least he has some catchphrases. Shrek has nothing going for it.
Hit: Pop Culture References, or ½ of the Jokes
Okay, the fact that only Zach, the people in the chairs behind us and I understood half the jokes in this movie kind of bugged me. From the slide in jokes from Puss and Donkey to the musical and TV references (I wont ruin it, but lets just say that the Gingerbread Man was build stronger, faster and better!) there were so many jokes that not only went over the kids heads but adults, too. I always say this but I am not the smartest person out there. However, if you don’t see the humor in a all girl team fighting and Heart’s “Barracuda” playing then maybe you need to know more. I mean some may see that as worthless trivia knowledge but how can you truly understand a movie if half of it goes above you….
Miss: Poopy Humor, or the OTHER ½ of the Jokes
….or go below you. I am just as low-brow and crass as the next guy but the rest of the movie was boring, stupid or flat out tasteless. The poop and vomit jokes stopped being funny…well I don’t think they were ever funny. Ha ha, babies crap and puke. We know that, don’t run it into the ground. Oh, and singing “Let Live and Let Die” during the King’s funeral. Whose bright idea was that? Only half the audience got it, and no one laughed. It was like that through the whole movie. Half would laugh at some jokes while the other half was silent and vice versa. They all cant be Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters.
Hit: The Animation
Wow, I was totally blown away. I mean this movie was almost as good animation wise as the Aqua Teen movie. ALMOST. Hell, Fiona looked JUST LIKE Cameron Diaz. Hell, it probably WAS her seeing as how she has the depth of a pudding cup. All the characters looked fantastic, even though for some reason the movie was dark as hell in the beginning. It lit up after that, though. Detail was awesome and the Prince’s hair had body and bounce. It was visually great….
Miss: The Voice Work
Aside from Puss, Donkey….hell all the SUPPORTING CHARACTERS the voice work was crap. What accent does Shrek have anyway? Iritoish? Cameron Diaz sounded like she acts: bad. As for Justin…at LEAST TRY to sound different. I so expected him to break out in ‘SexyBack’ he sounded like himself so much. Eddie has several characters and Antonio Banderas plays a typecast role, albeit hilarious. There were some really bad voiceover jobs in this movie and it made it rather annoying. I sat just hoping to have some characters shut the hell up. That shouldn’t happen, especially for the STARS OF THE MOVIE.
Overall, this movie wasn’t bad. There was very little focus on the villain subplot and too much on J-Tim (Who is officially crowned the King of Pop in this movie, no lie. He breaks out into ‘My Love’ with an animated crow T.I.) and the unfunny jokes. There is enough funny and Puss & Donkey (I am SO amped for a Puss ‘N’ Boots movie!) and funny jokes to go around but it is obvious that this movie got lost in itself a lot. Like Spiderman, there was very little fluidity to the film. Then again, since this is aimed for kids and all kids have ADD nowadays it works I guess. A good summertime watch with kids, but depending on your level of intelligence and expectations you will love it or be ‘meh.’ I am in the latter category. Shrek 3 gets…
7 Out Of 10 Stars!
(An okay movie, great big budget summer family movie if you don’t mind only laughing 50% of the time. There are enough laughs for everyone and most bad is outweighed by some hilarious voice work and an overall awesome scope of animation. BTW, the Gingerbread Man saved it from 6 out of 10. You’ll see why.)
Oh, and lastly I had a video on here the other day by Nami Uehara. She is a saucy lady that I figured to be in Yuna Ito or Yui’s class of age and hawtness. Albeit she isn’t the best singer out there, she is better than Rhianna and Kellie Pickler. Here is the problem I have. Look at this video:
First off, she is wearing Playboy clothing. I place that in the same category as ‘Porn Star’ clothing. If I wear a throwback jersey, I sadly expected to be looked at a certain way and that is just how people are. If you wear clothing with Playboy on it, you know what they are known for. They aren’t known for selling cookies or mutual funds, they are known for selling an image of sex, flat out. Not a LIFESTYLE, an image of sexuality. Here is my issue. Which is fine for adult females because adult females are free to make their own decisions. Also fine for18-24 year olds because they are REAL STUPID and you know it. Here is my issue:
2/26/1991
That is Nami Uehara’s birth date. That makes her 16 now. The videos were made LAST YEAR (and there are others made before that!) which makes her 15. At 15 years old…and dancing like that? Well that just promotes healthy behavior. I know I am all about Hinoi Team and all. That is HELLA WRONG and I will admit that. But you know what? They were not this bad. With ‘Ike Ike’ although the skirts were short all they were doing was Para Para which rules. The way she was dancing in ‘Real Me’ was just NAUGHTY AND WRONG! So wrong I must show you again!
Look at that! She is ten years younger than me! And dancing like that! Just wrong! So wrong as a matter of fact, here is ANOTHER VIDEO FROM HER!
Just….naughty. Not cool, Nami. Not cool at all. Playing with my emotions like that. Damn you, Nami Uehara! Damn you and your uber-naughty underage dancing! DAMN YOU!
Well, there are five more days until ‘Wicked’ (four day weekend, fools!) counting today and dare I say, I am excited! Then we got some Pirates of the Caribbean 3 on Friday and that is more than enough to tide me over until Transformers:
OH MY GOD! IT FEELS SO GOOD! Wow…I need to clean myself up. I will be back later on in the week, odds are Tuesday or Wednesday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
So on Wednesday I did my 20 Hawtest Video Game Ladies and to show that this blog isn’t all about the men, I have something for the ladies. Oh yeah, you know it. The ladies went first, now it’s time for the men to STRUT THEIR STUFF! I give you the…
20 Bishie Hawt Male Video Game Characters
We start with someone that we have never seen before, but we SO KNOW he’s hawt!
20. Master Chief (Halo Series)
This man has looked the Covenant dead in their beady little eyes and said ‘Not on my watch, bitches!’ Nothing says hawt like saving the planet from an alien invasion. All while never seeing his face. Just like Batman, minus the money, the brooding and the weird young boy fetish. Loves me some Batman, but there is something wrong with that.
19. Link (Legend of Zelda Series)
Straight up elven hawtie right here! Link was one of the first video game characters to save the princess from peril. There is nothing hawter than a hero, people! Although his fashion left a little to be desired (green is so NOT the new black) he pulled off the look well. Not only that, he was handy with a sword, boomerang, hook-shot, ocarina AND a bow and arrow. A renaissance man if there ever was one!
18. Kyo Kusanagi (King of Fighter Series)
Okay, secret time. This was my first video game bishie! Kyo is my favorite player in the King of Fighters series and for good reason. The man is HAWT in more ways than one if you get my drift. And I think you do. He used his hawtness to actually create fire to kick the asses of his opponents! Beat that!
17. Squall Leonheart (Final Fantasy VIII)
As you all know, I liked FFVIII, one of the six people that did. The love story between Squall and Rinoa really made the game for me and created (IMHO) the best ending of all the Final Fantasy games I have played (Final Fantasy VII…I am so looking at your ass!). Not only does he have a kick ass Gunsword, he has some funky fresh ballroom dance moves and impeccable fashion sense! Two belts? It takes work to pull that style off, and he does!
16. Vega (Street Fighter Series)
Muy es bueno! One of the original of the ‘handsome’ characters, you can’t look at Vega and not say he is on fire! So damn fine he has to cover his face with a mask so that the ugly people don’t harm his moneymaker. If you have seen ‘Street Fighter II V’ (the V is foe Vega!) then you saw his HAWT fight with another character that may be on here. Trust me, if you haven’t seen it, it is one of the better fights in anime.
15. Sam Fisher (Splinter Cell Series)
He may not have invented stealth, but Sam Fisher made it SEXY. Something about night-vision goggles, clmbing on ceilings and that Wentworth bald head look (someone tell me that Prison Break doesn’t have some Splinter Cell tones then you’re nuts) make him the mega-hawt stealth hawtie!
14. Ken (Street Fighter Series)
The Dragon Punching blonde ass-kicker from the SF series makes it on here! Not only is he hawt, he is also a family man! He has been with Eliza for what, ten different SF games? Now THAT’S love!
13. Vincent Valentine (Final Fantasy VIII)
Now I am just going to say it: Final Fantasy VII may be the sexiest game of all time. The brooding, Gackt-like Vincent is one of the characters that turn the temperature UP on that game! He mutates into monsters (Which….to each their own I guess. Not my thing, though) and is also part vampire, which we ALL KNOW are hot. More on that later.
12. Marcus Fenix (Gears of War)
A newer character, but just as hot as the rest! Marcus is true 100% pure, world saving, monster killing, chainsaw using dude-stuff!
11. Liu Kang (Mortal Kombat)
MORTAL KOMBAT!! Maybe Mortal HAWT-BAT! Eh, it’s a reach. But something about a man that will kill another man to win a tournament with a spotty and questionable plot…is sexy. Not to me personally, but you know.
10. Simon Belmont (Castlevania Series)
What is sexier than a vampire? Someone that HUNTS vampires. Long before Buffy and her weird ass nose, there was Simon Belmont, the first of the Belmont clan to have his own game! Oh, and that whip can be seen as hot to some. Anything involving pain and sex…aint my thing. Hell, sex is painful enough for me because….it’s going to be bad.
9. Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy VII)
W00t! Now I know you are probably shocked that Cloud is down here so low. As am I, but first off he was a fashion DISASTER in the video game. Purple jumpsuit? I mean NON-flattering! Now in Advent Children he was a SUPER-HAWTIE! That black leather and his gravity-abiding hair was just sexy!
8. Mario (Super Mario Brothers Series)
Mama mia! The man that started it all! Mario proved that big dudes could save the world too! And that magic mushrooms and fire flowers get you FUCKED UP! I mean you straight trip balls on that shit!
7. Kratos (God of War)
Nothing says sexy like a God, peeps. Kratos made being a murderous, violent Spartan with blades attached to your forearms the new black! Just rippling, 100% Spartan hawtness. Oh, and showed self control by not just wrecking the HELL out of the Oracle despite having one titty just hanging out for no reason.
6. Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid Series)
Okay, I had this discussion with Zach on Friday and I wanted to put Snake higher. Hell, his name is Solid Snake…which just SCREAMS manly. And I think you know why. The problem with Snake is…well…he has a mullet. Mullets may work with Irocs, but not with hawtness. And for that, he loses some ground.
5. Alucard (Castlevania: Symphony of the Night)
Vampire slaying PAR-TEEEEEEE! As one who owns Castlevania: SOTN I must say this it may be the best side scrolling game of all time. Yes, even up there with Super Mario Brothers. Oh, I went there. Not only that, but Alucard is a TOTAL hawtie! We are talking Gackt levels of hot, here.
4. Leon Kennedy (Resident Evil 2 & 4)
I will admit, there is something hot about fighting zombies. I said it about Jill Valentine and I am saying it about Leon. He filled out a police uniform quite nicely in RE2 and in RE4…lets just say next-gen did Mr. Kennedy right. Not only that, he saved the President’s daughter! Press A! Press ! Heh, had to work that in.
3. Toshiro Hitsugaya (Bleach/Jump All-Stars)
Oooooohhhhhhh! I just want to eat him up he is so CUUUUUUTE! Look at that face and just TRY to resist him! I frickin dare you! He has the baddest Bankai (aside from that asshole Aizen), is straight up Han Solo in his young mack game (check out Episode 126) and he is so DAMN cute! I just wanna eat him up! Snoogles! Seriously….I’m straight.
2. Dante (Devil May Cry Series)
Yes. YES. YES! Is there anything on the PLANET hotter than fighting demons in leather? Anything? YOU ARE A BOLD FACED LIAR! There are very few things in this world hotter than Dante from Devil May Cry. Despite the fact that fighting a mountain lion covered in steaks is easier than beating the series of games (especially the damn original DMC3, not the special edition) his hawtness made up for the eventual violation of your ass via controller.
1. Sephiroth
Is there anyone hawter? The answer is no. Sephiroth is more brooding than Cloud, exudes more sexiness than Leon, is more manly than Snake, just as brutal as Kratos (Aeris, anyone? I cried too but has there ever been a hotter death not involving Carbonite and Han Solo?) and looks better in leather than Dante. Yes, he tried to destroy the world but he looked SO GOOD while doing it! The baddest man in videogames is also the hottest!
Wow, that was hawt. Now it is time to cool things down with a new summer film that I wasn’t planning on seeing but seeing as how I have no life or other friends…yeah I went. So now, another weekend edition of…
MASTER CHIEF CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD!!
This Weeks Movie: Shrek 3
I’m going to try something different for this installment. We are going to play Hit or Miss!
Hit: Puss and Donkey
Donkey stole the first movie, Puss N’ Boots stole the second. This time, the combination of the two was one of the bright points of the movie. Eddie Murphy, when not knocking up former Spice Girls does good young adult comedy for the most part. As for Puss…Antonio Banderas is too hot for words so yeah, good stuff. The switching was funny (and not ran into the ground) while they really provided the majority of the humor for the movie. Which leads me to something.
Miss: Shrek
You know, I watched the first Shrek and really…didn’t like Shrek. The character or Shrek is rather limited. I have never watched the movie for the lead, rather for the supporting characters. He is a boring character and has almost no funny parts to this film. It was almost like he was there solely because the movie was named after him. Like Lil Jon on his own albums, but at least he has some catchphrases. Shrek has nothing going for it.
Hit: Pop Culture References, or ½ of the Jokes
Okay, the fact that only Zach, the people in the chairs behind us and I understood half the jokes in this movie kind of bugged me. From the slide in jokes from Puss and Donkey to the musical and TV references (I wont ruin it, but lets just say that the Gingerbread Man was build stronger, faster and better!) there were so many jokes that not only went over the kids heads but adults, too. I always say this but I am not the smartest person out there. However, if you don’t see the humor in a all girl team fighting and Heart’s “Barracuda” playing then maybe you need to know more. I mean some may see that as worthless trivia knowledge but how can you truly understand a movie if half of it goes above you….
Miss: Poopy Humor, or the OTHER ½ of the Jokes
….or go below you. I am just as low-brow and crass as the next guy but the rest of the movie was boring, stupid or flat out tasteless. The poop and vomit jokes stopped being funny…well I don’t think they were ever funny. Ha ha, babies crap and puke. We know that, don’t run it into the ground. Oh, and singing “Let Live and Let Die” during the King’s funeral. Whose bright idea was that? Only half the audience got it, and no one laughed. It was like that through the whole movie. Half would laugh at some jokes while the other half was silent and vice versa. They all cant be Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters.
Hit: The Animation
Wow, I was totally blown away. I mean this movie was almost as good animation wise as the Aqua Teen movie. ALMOST. Hell, Fiona looked JUST LIKE Cameron Diaz. Hell, it probably WAS her seeing as how she has the depth of a pudding cup. All the characters looked fantastic, even though for some reason the movie was dark as hell in the beginning. It lit up after that, though. Detail was awesome and the Prince’s hair had body and bounce. It was visually great….
Miss: The Voice Work
Aside from Puss, Donkey….hell all the SUPPORTING CHARACTERS the voice work was crap. What accent does Shrek have anyway? Iritoish? Cameron Diaz sounded like she acts: bad. As for Justin…at LEAST TRY to sound different. I so expected him to break out in ‘SexyBack’ he sounded like himself so much. Eddie has several characters and Antonio Banderas plays a typecast role, albeit hilarious. There were some really bad voiceover jobs in this movie and it made it rather annoying. I sat just hoping to have some characters shut the hell up. That shouldn’t happen, especially for the STARS OF THE MOVIE.
Overall, this movie wasn’t bad. There was very little focus on the villain subplot and too much on J-Tim (Who is officially crowned the King of Pop in this movie, no lie. He breaks out into ‘My Love’ with an animated crow T.I.) and the unfunny jokes. There is enough funny and Puss & Donkey (I am SO amped for a Puss ‘N’ Boots movie!) and funny jokes to go around but it is obvious that this movie got lost in itself a lot. Like Spiderman, there was very little fluidity to the film. Then again, since this is aimed for kids and all kids have ADD nowadays it works I guess. A good summertime watch with kids, but depending on your level of intelligence and expectations you will love it or be ‘meh.’ I am in the latter category. Shrek 3 gets…
7 Out Of 10 Stars!
(An okay movie, great big budget summer family movie if you don’t mind only laughing 50% of the time. There are enough laughs for everyone and most bad is outweighed by some hilarious voice work and an overall awesome scope of animation. BTW, the Gingerbread Man saved it from 6 out of 10. You’ll see why.)
Oh, and lastly I had a video on here the other day by Nami Uehara. She is a saucy lady that I figured to be in Yuna Ito or Yui’s class of age and hawtness. Albeit she isn’t the best singer out there, she is better than Rhianna and Kellie Pickler. Here is the problem I have. Look at this video:
First off, she is wearing Playboy clothing. I place that in the same category as ‘Porn Star’ clothing. If I wear a throwback jersey, I sadly expected to be looked at a certain way and that is just how people are. If you wear clothing with Playboy on it, you know what they are known for. They aren’t known for selling cookies or mutual funds, they are known for selling an image of sex, flat out. Not a LIFESTYLE, an image of sexuality. Here is my issue. Which is fine for adult females because adult females are free to make their own decisions. Also fine for18-24 year olds because they are REAL STUPID and you know it. Here is my issue:
2/26/1991
That is Nami Uehara’s birth date. That makes her 16 now. The videos were made LAST YEAR (and there are others made before that!) which makes her 15. At 15 years old…and dancing like that? Well that just promotes healthy behavior. I know I am all about Hinoi Team and all. That is HELLA WRONG and I will admit that. But you know what? They were not this bad. With ‘Ike Ike’ although the skirts were short all they were doing was Para Para which rules. The way she was dancing in ‘Real Me’ was just NAUGHTY AND WRONG! So wrong I must show you again!
Look at that! She is ten years younger than me! And dancing like that! Just wrong! So wrong as a matter of fact, here is ANOTHER VIDEO FROM HER!
Just….naughty. Not cool, Nami. Not cool at all. Playing with my emotions like that. Damn you, Nami Uehara! Damn you and your uber-naughty underage dancing! DAMN YOU!
Well, there are five more days until ‘Wicked’ (four day weekend, fools!) counting today and dare I say, I am excited! Then we got some Pirates of the Caribbean 3 on Friday and that is more than enough to tide me over until Transformers:
OH MY GOD! IT FEELS SO GOOD! Wow…I need to clean myself up. I will be back later on in the week, odds are Tuesday or Wednesday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
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