Morning, peeps. I really have got nothing today. Nothing at all. No updates, no cool videos, no rants....who the hell am I kidding. Three words:
NEW BENNIE K! DISCO SENPAI!!!!
My god, if there is anything hotter thank a disco dancing Yuki and Cico I don't know what it is. Maybe put Kumi Koda and Jessica Alba in there...now that's some action.
Man, I had to get that out. I have been jamming to that for about a week and it kicks the ass. So this Saturday, since my only other friend in the world has a family event to attend I will call to order the meeting of the Council of Awesomeness! Team of Badassitude ASSEMBLE! I need a conch shell or something, that would kick ass. Or a viking horn thingie. That would rule all. Anyway, I want to have the Chachi's finalized by the end of next week (Sunday) so I can FINALLY get this thing rolling. I am also noticing a lack are participation by the peeps about picking their own nominees. Don't be shy, ya'll. Let your voice be heard!
So on another J-Pop note, I heard Sowelu's new album, Twenty Four. It's not shabby, kind of overly poppy but thats to be expected. She's damn hot. Also, out of the blue, Kumi Koda has an EP or a mini-album because she has new work. It's not her best stuff, but give it a try. She's a saucy lady. Check out Juicy. Unfortunatly, its not a remake of the Oaktown 357 hit Juicy Got'Em Crazy. Maybe that is for the better.
My god, that woman should be a controlled substance. Although the bottle thing was kind of too far into the Paris Hilton realm of whoredom. Kumiko, that was not needed. Yet, I shant complain because I love you.
Speaking of unreturned love, the Duece is single. Has been for a while. And quite simply, he needs to change that. So from this point on, the Duece is looking for a lady friend. Someone to spend quality time with eating gelatto or watching a nice play or jazz festival. And doesnt mind someone who destroys all electrical and mechanical objects by looking at them. Let me know if you would like to go out for coffee sometime, ladies!
Oh, one last thing: Heath Ledger has to fucking die. NOW. Or at least before the Batman Begins sequel stars filming. I have a posse (up to five people now. SWEET!) that are down to stop that Hollywood fucktard from making the movie. If you would like to enlist, shoot me a comment or an e-mail to Lo_Chachi@yahoo.com and I will go through the interview process. Again, The Passion of Chachi is an Equal Opportunity Employer. Yes, even the Irish now. Bastards and their lawsuits. Join the...
Beat Down Heath Ledger Crew!
There will be punch and pie at all meetings. Once I have a set group, I will announce the dates and times. Well, that is all for now peeps. I will try to be back tomorrow morning. Stay up, peeps.
Live, Love and Laugh.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Yep, This Kind of Sucks Ass.
Morning, peeps. So I got my car back, and it is running like...I'm not really sure. It's just not running the same. Maybe that is how a Saturn is SUPPOSED to run but I dunno. Just feels loose and out of control. Not as responsive as it was. Now I have to take it back because I ain't having that shit.
So yesterday the FREX broke down. It seems that reverse isnt a standard option on buses and it got trapped in a corner. Just great. Trapped next to the bathroom next to two vagrants complaining about not being able to catch the Metro. My day couldnt get any shittier, right? WRONG. On the way home after picking up my car, I was talking to T'$heezy and guess what? My Bluetooth headset died. Yep, the same one that I had to have replaced and took me almost TWO FUCKING MONTHS to get back. It crapped out and is doing the same thing (refusing to charge althought it is dead as Carrot Top's career). You know, I should just become a fucking hermit and stay away from electrical and mechanical things because the shit just doesnt work. It is not like I am rough with these things. My headset stays in the iPod pocket of my bag and never gets dropped. My car is always kept maintained (oil changes, fluids checked, etc.) and yet, shit always seems to just break the fuck down. It is getting rather annoying.
God I am sleepy as hell. I will be back either tomorrow morning or evening. Until then, stay up peeps.
Live, Love and Laugh.
So yesterday the FREX broke down. It seems that reverse isnt a standard option on buses and it got trapped in a corner. Just great. Trapped next to the bathroom next to two vagrants complaining about not being able to catch the Metro. My day couldnt get any shittier, right? WRONG. On the way home after picking up my car, I was talking to T'$heezy and guess what? My Bluetooth headset died. Yep, the same one that I had to have replaced and took me almost TWO FUCKING MONTHS to get back. It crapped out and is doing the same thing (refusing to charge althought it is dead as Carrot Top's career). You know, I should just become a fucking hermit and stay away from electrical and mechanical things because the shit just doesnt work. It is not like I am rough with these things. My headset stays in the iPod pocket of my bag and never gets dropped. My car is always kept maintained (oil changes, fluids checked, etc.) and yet, shit always seems to just break the fuck down. It is getting rather annoying.
God I am sleepy as hell. I will be back either tomorrow morning or evening. Until then, stay up peeps.
Live, Love and Laugh.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!
Morning peeps! I had to get this out of the way. WHAT THE FUCK?! Who in the hell cast this fucker?! After the kick-assedness that was Batman Begins, they had to fuck it all up by bringing in HEATH LEDGER?! Come on, I have seen more acting talent from Paris Hilton. Although I have never seen her ACT as much as portray a whore very well. Jesus 'Sweet Tits' CHrist I need a damn drink.
So my car is doing okay now. The slave cylinder blew the hell out (which is just a bolt and a paper plate. Refreshes me to know it is not major but it pisses me off that it is just a peice of cheddar with a screw in it) so they had the clean the engine and put everything back in. I should have it back by this evening so its not ALL bad. I still looked online and it seems to be a running problem with the Saturn Vue line since 2002. Not a good sign, IMHO. But hey, I bought American so it's my own fucking fault. The Duece is back on the road, sexy ladies in the house cover your ass!
So this Mel Gibson situation gets better by the minute. First the DUI, then the anti-semetic remarks (Ah, so the Passion was life imitating bullshit. I said it, Jesus wasn't real just like sprites and unity in the damn Middle East) now the mugshot. Tell me he doesnt LOOK BATSHIT CRAZY! The man is fucking nuts. I'm talking well past Tom Cruise crazy. At least Tom's excuse is that he could have been brainwashed (which I don't doubt, Scientology is the mindfuck of all mindfucks). Mel Gibson is just one light short of a marquee. A lot of lights actually, that man's power supply for rationality and common sense is GONE. Take one look at that picture and tell me you would let him around your kids. If you say yes, you are probably one of the asshats that needed thebaby shaking campaign. Ladies and gentlemen, I am glad to say that I said it first: Mel Gibson is fucking NUTS. I said that after 'Braveheart' but you cannot convince white people that movie didn't eat ass. Get over it, that movie sucked ass.
Well, that is all for now. I am pretty much handing 'Douche of the Week' to Heath Ledger for fucking up Batman. We are talking PAST George Clooney levels here, peeps. I really will have to kill Heath Ledger. Man, I don't wanna have to go to jail for that asshole, but it has to be done. We gots to head to Hollywood and stop those fucks from making that movie. Peeps, transform and roll out! Eh, screw it. I will be back tomorrow (I think. I will play it by ear)
Stay up, peeps.
Live, Love and Laugh.
So my car is doing okay now. The slave cylinder blew the hell out (which is just a bolt and a paper plate. Refreshes me to know it is not major but it pisses me off that it is just a peice of cheddar with a screw in it) so they had the clean the engine and put everything back in. I should have it back by this evening so its not ALL bad. I still looked online and it seems to be a running problem with the Saturn Vue line since 2002. Not a good sign, IMHO. But hey, I bought American so it's my own fucking fault. The Duece is back on the road, sexy ladies in the house cover your ass!
So this Mel Gibson situation gets better by the minute. First the DUI, then the anti-semetic remarks (Ah, so the Passion was life imitating bullshit. I said it, Jesus wasn't real just like sprites and unity in the damn Middle East) now the mugshot. Tell me he doesnt LOOK BATSHIT CRAZY! The man is fucking nuts. I'm talking well past Tom Cruise crazy. At least Tom's excuse is that he could have been brainwashed (which I don't doubt, Scientology is the mindfuck of all mindfucks). Mel Gibson is just one light short of a marquee. A lot of lights actually, that man's power supply for rationality and common sense is GONE. Take one look at that picture and tell me you would let him around your kids. If you say yes, you are probably one of the asshats that needed thebaby shaking campaign. Ladies and gentlemen, I am glad to say that I said it first: Mel Gibson is fucking NUTS. I said that after 'Braveheart' but you cannot convince white people that movie didn't eat ass. Get over it, that movie sucked ass.
Well, that is all for now. I am pretty much handing 'Douche of the Week' to Heath Ledger for fucking up Batman. We are talking PAST George Clooney levels here, peeps. I really will have to kill Heath Ledger. Man, I don't wanna have to go to jail for that asshole, but it has to be done. We gots to head to Hollywood and stop those fucks from making that movie. Peeps, transform and roll out! Eh, screw it. I will be back tomorrow (I think. I will play it by ear)
Stay up, peeps.
Live, Love and Laugh.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Oy Vey
Sorry about no update this weekend, peeps. I was in a funk becauese my car broke down on the way to see 'Strangers With Candy' on Saturday. I think the tension cable broke on the clutch or something because all of a sudden I couldn't get into gear. Since then, I have been all bummed the fuck out. It just turned a year old this month, things shouldnt be going out on it. Even though I drive a lot to Denver, it still is well under warranty. Things like that just bug me. It almost makes me want to never buy American again.
So I will have a KICK ASS update up this Sunday because I will probably see 'Strangers With Candy' on Saturday after I see 'Talledega Nights: Ballad of Ricky Bobby' on Friday. That should make me feel better about this weekend. Also, the first of many Unagi Days came and passed and it RULED. I had some sake, ending my sober streak but I just had a few casual sips (unlike the usual when I was challenging the sushi chef for his dojo and getting my ass WHOOPED ON) so I don't look at it as falling off the wagon. Friday ruled, actually. Gellatto and unagi is a kick ass day, peeps.
So the news weekend (aside from the shoddy American workmanship of my vehicle) was slow so I really don't have an update. Oh wait, MEL GIBSON GOT A DUI!! Fuck yes, if anyone needed to be taken down a peg, it's that fucker. I so loathe him, almost as much as as Tom Cruise and 50 Cent. ALMOST. Even still, I hope he gets his liscence revoked and deported. Fuck Mel Gibson. Oh, and now people are lying for Tom and Katie about their non-existant baby. You know, the sooner they come clean the easier I will let them off the hook. As of right now, they are running with a lie because they are scared of what people will say. The longer it goes on, the more it becomes like the Janet Jackson baby scandal. Yes, she was pregnant with a DEBARGE back in the day. Baby weight my ass, that bitch had a baby. Anyway, fuck Tom Cruise.
Oh yeah, fuck Nick Cannon. I swear to god, the unholy union that is Nick Cannon and Boost Mobile makes me want to beat kittens with a bolo. Seriously, I hate that man and I hate Boost Mobile so I personally believe that justifies any bodily harm I inflict on Mr. Cannon because he sucks. Sucks it hard and he needs to be dealt with. Jersey style.
Well, it is about that time. I will try to be back when I get home (I am going to take the first bus if my car gets done today which I think it should) and drop something on theblog. If not, I will have a post this weekend. Stay up, peeps.
Live, love and laugh.
Oh, and fuck Saturn. Fuck them in their stupid heads. If things go well, I will update this and change that line but for now they can suck it dry.
So I will have a KICK ASS update up this Sunday because I will probably see 'Strangers With Candy' on Saturday after I see 'Talledega Nights: Ballad of Ricky Bobby' on Friday. That should make me feel better about this weekend. Also, the first of many Unagi Days came and passed and it RULED. I had some sake, ending my sober streak but I just had a few casual sips (unlike the usual when I was challenging the sushi chef for his dojo and getting my ass WHOOPED ON) so I don't look at it as falling off the wagon. Friday ruled, actually. Gellatto and unagi is a kick ass day, peeps.
So the news weekend (aside from the shoddy American workmanship of my vehicle) was slow so I really don't have an update. Oh wait, MEL GIBSON GOT A DUI!! Fuck yes, if anyone needed to be taken down a peg, it's that fucker. I so loathe him, almost as much as as Tom Cruise and 50 Cent. ALMOST. Even still, I hope he gets his liscence revoked and deported. Fuck Mel Gibson. Oh, and now people are lying for Tom and Katie about their non-existant baby. You know, the sooner they come clean the easier I will let them off the hook. As of right now, they are running with a lie because they are scared of what people will say. The longer it goes on, the more it becomes like the Janet Jackson baby scandal. Yes, she was pregnant with a DEBARGE back in the day. Baby weight my ass, that bitch had a baby. Anyway, fuck Tom Cruise.
Oh yeah, fuck Nick Cannon. I swear to god, the unholy union that is Nick Cannon and Boost Mobile makes me want to beat kittens with a bolo. Seriously, I hate that man and I hate Boost Mobile so I personally believe that justifies any bodily harm I inflict on Mr. Cannon because he sucks. Sucks it hard and he needs to be dealt with. Jersey style.
Well, it is about that time. I will try to be back when I get home (I am going to take the first bus if my car gets done today which I think it should) and drop something on theblog. If not, I will have a post this weekend. Stay up, peeps.
Live, love and laugh.
Oh, and fuck Saturn. Fuck them in their stupid heads. If things go well, I will update this and change that line but for now they can suck it dry.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Holy Macaroni!
Morning, peeps! Sorry no update yesterday, I was all over the place. Man, yesterday was an...interesting news day. First off, Lance Bass is gay. Well, I'm gonna be honest I figured Chris would come out of the closet first. I would have put money on that. However, I am glad he is happy with wang party I guess it is cool. Now if only Justin would come out of the closet, all would be right with the world. Hell, Cameron Diaz looks like a 16 year old boy to me anyway. I don't care what people say, that bitch IS NOT ATTRACTIVE. I hate her and I hate you if you think she is worth looking at.
Secondly....War is the Douche of the Week. I wanna toss God in there but I really can't do that without more proof (not sure if a higher power exists). I am sick of this Holy War bullshit. If God is so damn great, why does he let chuckleheads declare war in its name? Why can't people just delcare war in the name of Fucktardedness? Because that's what war is. I say fuck all religions that decide to join this 'Holy War' nonesense. You know what the worst part is? You don't see Buddhists getting in on this shit. You know why? Because Buddha RULES. He keeps things cool and is like 'Whoa, relax guy. What's really the issue?' See, South Park was right. Muslims are mad because its hot, and Jews are mad because they couldn't get their soup for free by complaining it was cold. Racist? Yes. True. Fuck yeah. Let it go people. If God does exist, I'm sure the answer it wanted to disagreements wasnt war in its name. So now we have idiots declaring Holy Wars and now the religious people are gonna be all 'I told you the Bible was right' and then I will have to fucking kill them because I hate the Bible and all the words in it and the believers of it. I said it and I don't care. Show some fucking backbone and see the situation for what it is. Stupid people doing stupid shit. No more, no less. So in closing, fuck war and if the Middle East can't get some sense over there (which has been centries long lacking) then FUCK THEM TOO. That is all.
Sorry about that, I just hate stupid shit. Well, peeps it is about that time. I gotta head out. I will try to be back tomorrow for UNAGI DAY!!! Hells yeah! I will try to do a better post on Saturday and Sunday because I think I am going to save some money and not go to D-Town this weekend. So until my eventual return, stay up peeps.
Live, Love and Laugh.
Secondly....War is the Douche of the Week. I wanna toss God in there but I really can't do that without more proof (not sure if a higher power exists). I am sick of this Holy War bullshit. If God is so damn great, why does he let chuckleheads declare war in its name? Why can't people just delcare war in the name of Fucktardedness? Because that's what war is. I say fuck all religions that decide to join this 'Holy War' nonesense. You know what the worst part is? You don't see Buddhists getting in on this shit. You know why? Because Buddha RULES. He keeps things cool and is like 'Whoa, relax guy. What's really the issue?' See, South Park was right. Muslims are mad because its hot, and Jews are mad because they couldn't get their soup for free by complaining it was cold. Racist? Yes. True. Fuck yeah. Let it go people. If God does exist, I'm sure the answer it wanted to disagreements wasnt war in its name. So now we have idiots declaring Holy Wars and now the religious people are gonna be all 'I told you the Bible was right' and then I will have to fucking kill them because I hate the Bible and all the words in it and the believers of it. I said it and I don't care. Show some fucking backbone and see the situation for what it is. Stupid people doing stupid shit. No more, no less. So in closing, fuck war and if the Middle East can't get some sense over there (which has been centries long lacking) then FUCK THEM TOO. That is all.
Sorry about that, I just hate stupid shit. Well, peeps it is about that time. I gotta head out. I will try to be back tomorrow for UNAGI DAY!!! Hells yeah! I will try to do a better post on Saturday and Sunday because I think I am going to save some money and not go to D-Town this weekend. So until my eventual return, stay up peeps.
Live, Love and Laugh.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Keepin It Real!
What's up, n****as?! I'm JOKING. Morning peeps, how goes it? Pretty good on this end, just dog ass tired. Man, I am realizing that I only have like seven friends for real. Am I really that abrasive or are poeple just not cool enough for me. My mom thinks...well my parents can't stand me (And rightfully so. I remember when I got my parents arrested for caged ninja monkey fights I held in the garage. Ahhh, those were the days) but I figured I'd have at least, like ten friends by 25. Eh, guess I'm just too cool for friends. Thinking that keeps me from crying.
So the Council of Awesomeness will FINALLY meet this weeked to discuss the final wild card nominees and the Lifetime Achievement Awards of the Chachis. Oh, and Nolan officially passed the background check (which was a shocker because every other member failed it BIG TIME. I had no idea about Z's wheeling and dealings with the Burkina Faso Mafi) so I officially have...four members. Yeah, it's an exclusive club. So we will meet over punch and pie and have the final list up next week, the polls up by August 15th and the show before my birthday and I go to Vegas (if I don't come back I am telling the peeps in advance to avenge my death) in mid-September. I am trying to figure out if I want to record it and put it up on YouTube or not yet. That would kick ass, but would take FOREVER. Let me know what you think, peeps.
So I have a new favorite video. I'm not gonna lie to you, I always felt Ciara was a tad overrated. Until I saw her video for Get Up with Ugmillionare:
I swear, that man looks like the Geico Gecko. I shit you not. That is still a bad ass song and a pretty good video. Dammit, I am gonna have to by the Step Up soundtrack. It has this and the Sean Paul remix of Give It Up To Me (the only good song that fucker has ever made) so it will be well worth the purchase. Too bad the movie will suck worse than Honey. And Honey SUCKED IT HARD. I wish Jessica Alba sucked it hard. WHOOOOOAAA, my sexual innuendo is priceless.
Crap, I forgot to have the Douche of the Week! I will have that up later this week, I promise. Also, I forgot to do Master Chief Capitan Chachi Goes Hollywood this week! Damn, this weekedn sucked the goats nads. Or the donkey. Speaking of donkey, GO SEE CLERKS II! RIGHT NOW! Funniest movie of the year. I have two words for you: interspecies erotica. I have two more words for you: porch monkey. See it and you will understand. Funniest shit this year, and if it wasnt for the hotness of Johnny Depp (BISHIE HAWT!!) it would be the movie of the year, barely edging out Thank You For Smoking. Man, doing the year end Passion of Chachi Special is gonna be hella hard.
Well peeps, it's about that time. To work for my supper. I will be back soon, hopefully with the Douche of the Week and a rant at some point this week. Or not, I just got the Bennie K Japan-a rhythm live video (which I am going to order along with some other stuff from Yesasia on Frisay. Piracy rules, as long as its on the open seas) so you may actually not hear from me for a while. Because Yuki is looking HAWT and let's just say I will be needing some me time. Until my return, stay up peeps. Damn, Yuki is fucking HAWT. Get out, I need a minute!
Live, Love and Laugh.
So the Council of Awesomeness will FINALLY meet this weeked to discuss the final wild card nominees and the Lifetime Achievement Awards of the Chachis. Oh, and Nolan officially passed the background check (which was a shocker because every other member failed it BIG TIME. I had no idea about Z's wheeling and dealings with the Burkina Faso Mafi) so I officially have...four members. Yeah, it's an exclusive club. So we will meet over punch and pie and have the final list up next week, the polls up by August 15th and the show before my birthday and I go to Vegas (if I don't come back I am telling the peeps in advance to avenge my death) in mid-September. I am trying to figure out if I want to record it and put it up on YouTube or not yet. That would kick ass, but would take FOREVER. Let me know what you think, peeps.
So I have a new favorite video. I'm not gonna lie to you, I always felt Ciara was a tad overrated. Until I saw her video for Get Up with Ugmillionare:
I swear, that man looks like the Geico Gecko. I shit you not. That is still a bad ass song and a pretty good video. Dammit, I am gonna have to by the Step Up soundtrack. It has this and the Sean Paul remix of Give It Up To Me (the only good song that fucker has ever made) so it will be well worth the purchase. Too bad the movie will suck worse than Honey. And Honey SUCKED IT HARD. I wish Jessica Alba sucked it hard. WHOOOOOAAA, my sexual innuendo is priceless.
Crap, I forgot to have the Douche of the Week! I will have that up later this week, I promise. Also, I forgot to do Master Chief Capitan Chachi Goes Hollywood this week! Damn, this weekedn sucked the goats nads. Or the donkey. Speaking of donkey, GO SEE CLERKS II! RIGHT NOW! Funniest movie of the year. I have two words for you: interspecies erotica. I have two more words for you: porch monkey. See it and you will understand. Funniest shit this year, and if it wasnt for the hotness of Johnny Depp (BISHIE HAWT!!) it would be the movie of the year, barely edging out Thank You For Smoking. Man, doing the year end Passion of Chachi Special is gonna be hella hard.
Well peeps, it's about that time. To work for my supper. I will be back soon, hopefully with the Douche of the Week and a rant at some point this week. Or not, I just got the Bennie K Japan-a rhythm live video (which I am going to order along with some other stuff from Yesasia on Frisay. Piracy rules, as long as its on the open seas) so you may actually not hear from me for a while. Because Yuki is looking HAWT and let's just say I will be needing some me time. Until my return, stay up peeps. Damn, Yuki is fucking HAWT. Get out, I need a minute!
Live, Love and Laugh.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Is It Friday Yet?
Sorry, but no update this morning. Needed to catch up on some sleep. I will try to update this evening. If I don't, I will definitly be back on Saturday, seeing as Friday is UNAGI DAY!. Hell yeah, unagi in the hizzy, and don't you for-gizzy! Until then, I'm out.
Live, Love and Laugh.
Live, Love and Laugh.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
150th Post Uber-stravaganza Part I!
Good morning, peeps! I told you I would be back up on Sunday! Okay, I have finalized the categories for The Passion of Chachi's Chachi Awards. These last categories are kind of random, which is really what this blog is all about.
Mindfuck of the Year (Thing that pissed me off the most over the last 12 months)
Wal-Mart Goes High-Dollar (Wal-Mart tries to leave behind the NASCAR crowd by selling sushi, organics and high end electronics. Know your market and cater, assholes. Oh, and unlock the doors so your employees can go home)
Tom Cruise Has A 'Baby' With Katie Holmes (Tom Cruise reportedly has relations with the Dawson's ex-fuck buddy. Although we have never SEEN said baby. I say we've been duped) All Shook Up (The Anti-Baby Shaking Campaign. Yeah, because we need to be told not to do that. If you DO need to be told not to shake a baby, you need to be shook. While fucked in the ass in prison)
Grillz (Yeah, you know how I feel about this shit. It isn't racist, it's just fucking stupid. Nelly almost singlehandly ruined my year)
DDR Shooting Star Award (Breakthrough Performance of the Year in any medium)
Terrance Howard (I have to admit, this man was EVERYWHERE ad in EVERYTHING. He even took my place at an interview earlier this year. Hell, he was even in the R. Kelly video if you look close enough)
Stephen Colbert (My new idol. This man served the WHOLE WHITE HOUSE STAFF and got a free dinner out of it. Saddam got forced into a spider hole for doing less. Now that is worthy of an award)
UVERworld (Took Japan by storm after D-Technolife from the Bleach anime took off and hasn't stopped since. A kick ass album and live show to boot)
Boondocks (Who knew a show about the rantings and mis-adventures of a black child would be so damn funny. I know I did, and the rest of the world now knows, too. Hope Aaron McGruder doesn't pull a Chappelle)
Well...That Was Quite Underwhelming (Disappointment of the Year)
Orange Range's Squeezed (First off, it was a remix album. Second off, it was a SHITTY remix album. Although they redeemed themselves with Champione, this was still a crapfest)
Superman Returns (Now I know I gave this a high rating this year but it just didn't have...it. For all its great points (and there were a gaggle) it was too long, under plotted and kind of scene based. A great comic movie, but pales in comparision to the best ones (Batman Begins, Spiderman 2). Overall, it was good but not FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC like I was expecting.
American Idol 2006 (Actually, pretty much every American Idol since Clay vs. Ruben. Man, I have never really been a fan of the show, but the last few seasons have really sucked because good people don't win. Chris Daughtry should have WON. Flat out.)
Super Bowl 2006 (I didn't watch a single fucking play of that game. I heard it was a good game but the lame ass hype and the fact that Seattle went shows that the world is going to fucking end really soon. That's Isreal's fault. Regis told me that)
Bubbling Like Vodka on an Empty Stomach (Most Anticipated Movie of the Next Year)
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie (This movie better come out this year. Because if it doesn't it's gonna be hell week rolled all in one up in this bitch!)
Spiderman 3 (You saw the damn trailer! I gotta get in line right now!)
Transformers (You know, I am kind of excited to see this movie. Although I am sure they are going to fuck up a lot of it, I was a fan-boy that was pissed about the organic web shooters and that worked out fine)
The Simpsons Movie (You know, the name says it all. I hope the series ends after the movie because then it can go out with some steam instead of dying a slow death because the show has really fallen off a bit)
The First Ever Tom Cruise Douchebag of the Year Award!
Kim Jong Il (You know, I don't WANT to nominate him because that afro rules. Even still, he is a total fucktard that needs his ass whooped on by Chuck Norris.)
Nick Cannon (You know what I'm going to say, but I'm gonna say it anyway. FUCK NICK CANNON!)
Kevin Federline (The more I hear about him, the more I hope that a trailer falls on him. It's only fitting to be killed by what you represent the most.)
The First Ever Heather Graham Whore of the Year Award!
Britney Spears (Well, you knew this was coming. I used to feel bad for Britney because I figured maybe she got took in by the white trash magic that is K-Fuck but then I realized that she is just as stupid if not STUPIDER than him. She is a whore to boot because she was within 30 miles of Fred Durst. And that is never cool.)
Paris Hilton (Yeah, this was a given. The sad part is that she has no real talent except for being a whole and being of rich sperm and eggs. Take away being a slut and she really has no qualities that distiguish her from a cactus. Except she would be wealthy but its obvious that wealth doesn't by common sense.)
Wilmer Valderamma (Or however his name is spelled. You can lie about Lindsey, Ashlee or whatever other trollop you decide to cornhole. But when you lie about Jennifer Love Hewitt you are fitting of a slow and painful death, you prick! This will be the only award you will ever be nominated for, asshole.)
Now, time for the Big Four
Bishie Hawt Man of the Year!
Johnny Depp
Matthew McConaughey
Terrance Howard
T.I.
Sauciest Lady of the Year!
Shakira
Yuki (of Bennie K)
Vida Guerra
Scarlett Johanssen
The Most Awesomest Moment of The Year (All Mediums)
Spiderman Unmasks (It's big for comic fans. In Civil War #2, Spiderman let the world know he was Peter Parker and it changes the face of comics forever. I know most of you don't care but fuck you it's my blog for the most part)
The Bathroom Scene in Grandma's Boy (Funniest scene of the year, even funnier than anything in 40 Year Old Virgin. OH MY GOD, I CAN'T STOP! IT FEELS SO GOOD!)
The Vince Young Show (I rarely talk about sports on the blog because it's not really inclusive to my wanted reader base but he put on one of the best individual performances ever in the Rose Bowl this year. Flat out AWESOME)
The Gravitas Battle
(Stephen Colbert vs. Stone Phillips. Two men. Two awesome segments. A lifetime of laughs. And it makes you look at hippos in a different light.)
Bennie K's Dreamland Video
(My god, Yuki and Cico look so damn good I can't concentrate. The first time I saw this video last year I was stupified by love for these young ladies. They then became bigger than unagi and that is GOOD eating. That and look at Yuki's stomach when she is in the orage shirt. I really hate skinny people and muscles but WOW. That is just...hawt.)
And finally
The Awesomest Person of the Year (All Mediums)
Stephen Colbert for being the most important man on TV since the crying Injun.
Ken Hirai for the video Pop Star
Aaron McGruder for the cartoon The Boondocks
Shakira for...hell look at this!
Well, that is all for now. The nominees are set and I will be taking write ins via comment or email to Lo_Chachi@yahoo.com until next Sunday at Midnight. At that point I will create the polls and put them up on here and the website (which should be back up this week) to count your votes. It may be my blog, but the peeps have their say!
I will be back up this evening for tomorrow morning's post which will be part 2 of the 150th Post Uber-stravaganza! I will try to have a rant up this evening as well, but I may not do a second post for today because I walked in this morning at damn near 3:30 am and woke up at 8am so I am kind of running on fumes again. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, peeps! I'm gonna catch up on some anime (AIR GEAR RULES!!!)
Live, Love and Laugh.
Mindfuck of the Year (Thing that pissed me off the most over the last 12 months)
Wal-Mart Goes High-Dollar (Wal-Mart tries to leave behind the NASCAR crowd by selling sushi, organics and high end electronics. Know your market and cater, assholes. Oh, and unlock the doors so your employees can go home)
Tom Cruise Has A 'Baby' With Katie Holmes (Tom Cruise reportedly has relations with the Dawson's ex-fuck buddy. Although we have never SEEN said baby. I say we've been duped) All Shook Up (The Anti-Baby Shaking Campaign. Yeah, because we need to be told not to do that. If you DO need to be told not to shake a baby, you need to be shook. While fucked in the ass in prison)
Grillz (Yeah, you know how I feel about this shit. It isn't racist, it's just fucking stupid. Nelly almost singlehandly ruined my year)
DDR Shooting Star Award (Breakthrough Performance of the Year in any medium)
Terrance Howard (I have to admit, this man was EVERYWHERE ad in EVERYTHING. He even took my place at an interview earlier this year. Hell, he was even in the R. Kelly video if you look close enough)
Stephen Colbert (My new idol. This man served the WHOLE WHITE HOUSE STAFF and got a free dinner out of it. Saddam got forced into a spider hole for doing less. Now that is worthy of an award)
UVERworld (Took Japan by storm after D-Technolife from the Bleach anime took off and hasn't stopped since. A kick ass album and live show to boot)
Boondocks (Who knew a show about the rantings and mis-adventures of a black child would be so damn funny. I know I did, and the rest of the world now knows, too. Hope Aaron McGruder doesn't pull a Chappelle)
Well...That Was Quite Underwhelming (Disappointment of the Year)
Orange Range's Squeezed (First off, it was a remix album. Second off, it was a SHITTY remix album. Although they redeemed themselves with Champione, this was still a crapfest)
Superman Returns (Now I know I gave this a high rating this year but it just didn't have...it. For all its great points (and there were a gaggle) it was too long, under plotted and kind of scene based. A great comic movie, but pales in comparision to the best ones (Batman Begins, Spiderman 2). Overall, it was good but not FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC like I was expecting.
American Idol 2006 (Actually, pretty much every American Idol since Clay vs. Ruben. Man, I have never really been a fan of the show, but the last few seasons have really sucked because good people don't win. Chris Daughtry should have WON. Flat out.)
Super Bowl 2006 (I didn't watch a single fucking play of that game. I heard it was a good game but the lame ass hype and the fact that Seattle went shows that the world is going to fucking end really soon. That's Isreal's fault. Regis told me that)
Bubbling Like Vodka on an Empty Stomach (Most Anticipated Movie of the Next Year)
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie (This movie better come out this year. Because if it doesn't it's gonna be hell week rolled all in one up in this bitch!)
Spiderman 3 (You saw the damn trailer! I gotta get in line right now!)
Transformers (You know, I am kind of excited to see this movie. Although I am sure they are going to fuck up a lot of it, I was a fan-boy that was pissed about the organic web shooters and that worked out fine)
The Simpsons Movie (You know, the name says it all. I hope the series ends after the movie because then it can go out with some steam instead of dying a slow death because the show has really fallen off a bit)
The First Ever Tom Cruise Douchebag of the Year Award!
Kim Jong Il (You know, I don't WANT to nominate him because that afro rules. Even still, he is a total fucktard that needs his ass whooped on by Chuck Norris.)
Nick Cannon (You know what I'm going to say, but I'm gonna say it anyway. FUCK NICK CANNON!)
Kevin Federline (The more I hear about him, the more I hope that a trailer falls on him. It's only fitting to be killed by what you represent the most.)
The First Ever Heather Graham Whore of the Year Award!
Britney Spears (Well, you knew this was coming. I used to feel bad for Britney because I figured maybe she got took in by the white trash magic that is K-Fuck but then I realized that she is just as stupid if not STUPIDER than him. She is a whore to boot because she was within 30 miles of Fred Durst. And that is never cool.)
Paris Hilton (Yeah, this was a given. The sad part is that she has no real talent except for being a whole and being of rich sperm and eggs. Take away being a slut and she really has no qualities that distiguish her from a cactus. Except she would be wealthy but its obvious that wealth doesn't by common sense.)
Wilmer Valderamma (Or however his name is spelled. You can lie about Lindsey, Ashlee or whatever other trollop you decide to cornhole. But when you lie about Jennifer Love Hewitt you are fitting of a slow and painful death, you prick! This will be the only award you will ever be nominated for, asshole.)
Now, time for the Big Four
Bishie Hawt Man of the Year!
Johnny Depp
Matthew McConaughey
Terrance Howard
T.I.
Sauciest Lady of the Year!
Shakira
Yuki (of Bennie K)
Vida Guerra
Scarlett Johanssen
The Most Awesomest Moment of The Year (All Mediums)
Spiderman Unmasks (It's big for comic fans. In Civil War #2, Spiderman let the world know he was Peter Parker and it changes the face of comics forever. I know most of you don't care but fuck you it's my blog for the most part)
The Bathroom Scene in Grandma's Boy (Funniest scene of the year, even funnier than anything in 40 Year Old Virgin. OH MY GOD, I CAN'T STOP! IT FEELS SO GOOD!)
The Vince Young Show (I rarely talk about sports on the blog because it's not really inclusive to my wanted reader base but he put on one of the best individual performances ever in the Rose Bowl this year. Flat out AWESOME)
The Gravitas Battle
(Stephen Colbert vs. Stone Phillips. Two men. Two awesome segments. A lifetime of laughs. And it makes you look at hippos in a different light.)
Bennie K's Dreamland Video
(My god, Yuki and Cico look so damn good I can't concentrate. The first time I saw this video last year I was stupified by love for these young ladies. They then became bigger than unagi and that is GOOD eating. That and look at Yuki's stomach when she is in the orage shirt. I really hate skinny people and muscles but WOW. That is just...hawt.)
And finally
The Awesomest Person of the Year (All Mediums)
Stephen Colbert for being the most important man on TV since the crying Injun.
Ken Hirai for the video Pop Star
Aaron McGruder for the cartoon The Boondocks
Shakira for...hell look at this!
Well, that is all for now. The nominees are set and I will be taking write ins via comment or email to Lo_Chachi@yahoo.com until next Sunday at Midnight. At that point I will create the polls and put them up on here and the website (which should be back up this week) to count your votes. It may be my blog, but the peeps have their say!
I will be back up this evening for tomorrow morning's post which will be part 2 of the 150th Post Uber-stravaganza! I will try to have a rant up this evening as well, but I may not do a second post for today because I walked in this morning at damn near 3:30 am and woke up at 8am so I am kind of running on fumes again. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, peeps! I'm gonna catch up on some anime (AIR GEAR RULES!!!)
Live, Love and Laugh.
Friday, July 21, 2006
The Phrase That Pays
Morning, peeps! It's finally fricking Friday and I must say it is about time. Man, sometimes the weeks jusy DRAAAAAAAG. SO aside from WWIII, it has been a slow news week. I swear, people are downplaying this (except the good people at Fox News, who are OVERBLOWING THE SHIT out of this) and I don't blame them but at the same time you gotta show more. I mean Isreal is going all Nebraska of 1995 on these guys. Just running up the scoreboard. I am not against that at all, but still.
So the phrase 'A carpenter never blames his tools'? Fucking stupid. Zach said it best: A carpenter will blame his tools if you give him a saw to hammer a nail. Think about it. That shit is funny. Well, I will try to update tomorrow morning when I wake up. I will for sure be up on Suday, odds are with the late 150th Post Uber-extravaganza! There will be prizes and punch for those that attend. Also a raffle for $5 off at Target. OOOOOHHHHH, the Duece is a giver to the peeps. I am also going to TRY to have the final nominees for the Chachi's up by Sunday so I can get voting ready on the website (which I kinda spaced on and didn't pay for last month. It was $4.24 and I just forgot about it. My bad to the three people that tried to go and couldn't get on). This fall is gonna be huge. I have The Chachi's, Nan Desu Kan, hopefully gonna move and the return of THE PIRATE AND NINJA MOVIE!! Yes, I'm gonna knuckle down and tdo it the real American way: outsource that bitch! Updates will be coming soon.
Well, I gotta pay the bills. I will try to be up tomorrow, but keep your Sunday open because the Chachi will be here for you. Stay up, peeps.
Live, love and laugh.
So the phrase 'A carpenter never blames his tools'? Fucking stupid. Zach said it best: A carpenter will blame his tools if you give him a saw to hammer a nail. Think about it. That shit is funny. Well, I will try to update tomorrow morning when I wake up. I will for sure be up on Suday, odds are with the late 150th Post Uber-extravaganza! There will be prizes and punch for those that attend. Also a raffle for $5 off at Target. OOOOOHHHHH, the Duece is a giver to the peeps. I am also going to TRY to have the final nominees for the Chachi's up by Sunday so I can get voting ready on the website (which I kinda spaced on and didn't pay for last month. It was $4.24 and I just forgot about it. My bad to the three people that tried to go and couldn't get on). This fall is gonna be huge. I have The Chachi's, Nan Desu Kan, hopefully gonna move and the return of THE PIRATE AND NINJA MOVIE!! Yes, I'm gonna knuckle down and tdo it the real American way: outsource that bitch! Updates will be coming soon.
Well, I gotta pay the bills. I will try to be up tomorrow, but keep your Sunday open because the Chachi will be here for you. Stay up, peeps.
Live, love and laugh.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Eh, Not My Best Post But A Post Nonetheless.
First off, sorry about no updates over the last few days. Work has been kicking my ass so I am exausted by the time I get home and the bus I catch doesn't have wireless anymore (which SUCKS because my iPod battery is dead or something and no internet is killer) so I can't update there. I will try to make up for it this weekend, peeps.
Now I want to rant on something real quick: body odor. Now people who were at NDK know what I am talking about. Those of you that didn't bathe for the WHOLE CONVENTION last year will be beaten with The Revolutionizer. I am dead serious, I am through playing around. Seeing as how body odor smells like rotten tomato juice poured over old socks, it's the last thing I want to smell. Especially after a long day at work on the bus from a 300 pound woman in the seat in front of and next to me. It is annoying and makes me understand how movies like Falling Down happen. It just drives you to madness. I try to smell good (hell, everyone gets a little ripe after a workout or in 100 degree heat like we have been having lately, including myself) and I just ask for others to do the same.
Well, I have to head out. I will be back when I can. Oh, and Isreal is going to screw us all. I hate it when Christians are fucking right. Then again it IS the Middle East. This is just a normal week for over there. Those crazy guys over there with their suicide bombs and intolerance. It's like a violent, disturbing sitcom. We could have the next Odd Couple. Just kidding, dammit. Take a joke, America. Anyway, stay up peeps.
Live, Love and Laugh.
Now I want to rant on something real quick: body odor. Now people who were at NDK know what I am talking about. Those of you that didn't bathe for the WHOLE CONVENTION last year will be beaten with The Revolutionizer. I am dead serious, I am through playing around. Seeing as how body odor smells like rotten tomato juice poured over old socks, it's the last thing I want to smell. Especially after a long day at work on the bus from a 300 pound woman in the seat in front of and next to me. It is annoying and makes me understand how movies like Falling Down happen. It just drives you to madness. I try to smell good (hell, everyone gets a little ripe after a workout or in 100 degree heat like we have been having lately, including myself) and I just ask for others to do the same.
Well, I have to head out. I will be back when I can. Oh, and Isreal is going to screw us all. I hate it when Christians are fucking right. Then again it IS the Middle East. This is just a normal week for over there. Those crazy guys over there with their suicide bombs and intolerance. It's like a violent, disturbing sitcom. We could have the next Odd Couple. Just kidding, dammit. Take a joke, America. Anyway, stay up peeps.
Live, Love and Laugh.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
149.5 Miles And Running
Sorry no update yesterday, peeps. I was dog tired when I got home and I am dog tired now. This is beginning to suuuuuuuck it dry. Traveling 148 miles a day to be anally violated just ain't cutting it if you get my drift. Not actually VIOLATED, but you understand. I will try to put the 150th Post Uber-stravaganza up on Saturday. Until then, I will update when I am able to this week. Mainly when I am coherent. I'm keeping my head up, peeps. I can always find solace in the fact that I ain't in Lebenon right now. Oh, and I will have the Misc Awards for the Chachi's up I hope Sunday night. I want to have the ballots up buy the middle of August and the awards the first week of September. At least I have narrowed it down to a year. Until my return, stay up peeps.
Live, Love and Laugh.
Live, Love and Laugh.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
149.1 Degrees and Counting
Holy fucking shit, man! 100 degrees?! This is whack! And people keep on looking at me because I'm not wearing pants. I'm trying to get groceries just like you, lady! Anyway, I had to say something about this weather. Damn it is HOT! I will have my 150th post at some point this week, and I will make sure it kicks the WHOLE ASS. Stay up, peeps. I'm gonna go put some ice in my underwear.
Live, love and laugh. And stay hydrated!
Live, love and laugh. And stay hydrated!
Back in the Saddle
Okay, peeps. Today's post is gonna be kind of big. First, I think I have finalized the nominees for the movie competition of the Chachi's! I know it took a while, but I have had some shit on my mind over the last week or so I have had to ponder. More on that later on. Anyway, here are your nominees!
Best Supporting Actress:
(Yeah, I need your help here. I'm not sure where to go with this category.)
Best Supporting Actor:
Morgan Freeman - Batman Begins
William H. Macy - Thank You For Smoking
Mos Def - Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
Best Actress:
Zhang Ziyi - Memoirs of a Geisha
Keira Knightly - Pirates of the Carriebean 2
Natalie Portman - V For Vendetta
Mandy Moore - American Dreamz (Highly underrated film, check it out)
Best Actor:
Aaron Eckart - Thank You For Smoking (HELL YEAH!)
Johnny Depp - Pirates of the Carriebean 2 (FUCK YEAH!)
Christian Bale - Batman Begins (SUPER FUCK YEAH!)
Steve Carrell - 40 year Old Virgin (Hey, if you don't use it you lose it)
'You Know, This May Have Sucked Worse Than Darkness Falls' Worst Movie of the Year
Elektra (Yes, I know this mindrape came out early 2005 but it deserves a nod)
Brokeback Mountain (No, I still haven't seen it. But I know it was shitty. Trust me, peeps)
Flightplan (I did see this clusterfuck and it SUCKED)
Nacho Libre (You know, this movie sucked so bad that the Al Gore movie looked like Star Wars)
Shittiest Actress of the Year:
Jodie Foster - Flightplan (Jodie, I can't stand you. Always have and always will after Contact.)
Jennifer Garner - Elektra (You and your cro-magnon neck. And you spawned with Ben Affleck. Good job, bitch. You have officially birthed the anti-Christ)
Paris Hilton - House of Wax (Never seen it, but the bitch can't even act like a WOMAN. Putting her in a movie is just...bad news)
Shittiest Actor of the Year
Jack Black - Nacho Libre (If you liked this movie, you should be put down. I am dead serious, you are dirtying up the fucking gene pool with your stupidity)
Heath Ledger - Brokeback Mountain (This man cannot act. Period. Everytime he gets work from this point out, I punch a puppy in the fucking ribs. I'm THROUGH PLAYING AROUND!)
Orlando Bloom - Kingdon of Heaven (Great, more of the gay archer. Why cant this man-sprite just die already?!)
Tom Cruise - Mission Impossible III (More like 'Mission Not-Watchable III' HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fuck you, Tom)
Now, for the grand finale...
Passion of Chachi's Movie of the Year Award!
Batman Begins
Thank You For Smoking
Pirates of the Carrebean 2 - Dead Man's Chest
40 Year Old Virgin
The Da Vinci Code
And there you have it, peeps. The nominees for the movie portion of the Passion of Chachi presents The Chachi Awards! I am debating whether or not to do a TV section, because I watched only seven shows over the last two years and three were anime (and I can't just nominate Bleach and The Colbert Report for EVERYTHING. Which I tried to do, but it just seemd unfair) so the odds of a TV section are slim. I think Movies and music are enough, seeing as how I haven't played a video game since Kingdom Hearts 2(byw, the ending for that was SO FUCKING UNDERWHELMING IT HURT INSIDE!). Even though NCAA Football 07 does come out this week (and a certain someone is gonna get their ass WHOOPED ON!) so I will be hitting that up next weekend BIG TIME.
So it is time for the Douche of the Week. Usually, I give this to a person or people. This week, I have been going through a mid-life crisis. I am kind of at a crossroads at my life and I had an epiphany about a week ago talking to Griff about how much I hate what I do. Then Z got a job at a place that sucks the balls (Man if you ask them to refer to you as Captian and they don't agree I believe you should walk, too) and it hit me. The Douche of the Week might just be the Douche of the Motherfucking Decade. The Douche of the Week is...
Coporate America
When I started my new job something hit me that morning when I woke up. I had spent seven years working in a coporate setting (middle management that has to justify its job by fucking with you, pointless reports and metrics that 'justify' your worth to the company, cubicles, pointless 'rah-rah' meetings where they spew rhetoric about 'believing is achieving' not knowing that Jesus actually hated salespeople and other bullshit like that) and I must say, that there is a real big disconnect between that world and the real world. You see, working in a coporate position is a lot like being in a cult. You REALLY have to suspend belief on the...rational and buy into rhetoric and spin that is just high level bullshit. Let's be real, peeps. It is all a game. Many of you reader (all six of you) have seen movies like Boiler Room, Wall Street and Glenn Gary Ross. I have seen those movies at request of two of my previous managers and I wanted to gouge out their eyes and use their skulls as spit bucket. And I dont even fucking chew. I'm not a moral or even a NICE person (ask my friends, they can vouch for that) but to be a person like some of the characters in those movies just isn't natural. I hate that fucking enviornment.
Like I said, my life is an open book and I hold the privacy of others very close to me. However, I will let the peeps know that I work in sales. I have since 1999 which will put it at seven years in September. SEVEN YEARS IN SALES. That is fucking sad. I cannot believe that I have been in an envoirnment that I hate for so much for so long. You know why I think corporate American succeeds so much?
1. They have killed company loyalty. Now people argue this that have been working for a company for more than 5 years and I respect their point of view, you have been there for a while. The days of a company taking care of you for life are over. They know it, we as employees know it (and if you don't you FUCKING SHOULD) and they know that we know that they know it. Business is a machine and people are cogs. They can find a cog to replace you at any point. Whether you leave or they let you go, you are not too valuable to be replaced by someone willing to do the job cheaper. That goes for any position, I'm living proof on both sides.
2. The Drinking of the Kool-Aid. I hate this shit. If you sit in a meeting and you don't understand that you are being shoveled shit and spin then you are an idiot. Now you can choose to believe it or not (I honestly believe in nothing but it still annoys me) but like your fucking God you keep it out of my zone. If i don't want to believe I don't fucking have to. All I have to do is do my job to its description, not listen to people quote the Book of Sales and Bullshit to me verbatum. You know the people I am talking about, too. The guy that believes everything that the management team says about the money you can make or the fact its a numbers game. First off, the goal of a company is to pay just enough to get you to work a little bit harder. Incentives are created to behoove the company first, the employees second. So no matter how good the benefits/commissions/bonuses are, as soon as they see that is isn't beneficial for the company you better believe that shit will change. Secondly, EVERYTHING IS A FUCKING NUMBERS GAME! YOu know what else is a numbers game? Getting an STD. If you fuck enough people, you are bound to get a painful wart or blue flames with shoot out when you pee. Which brings me to the big one:
3. The Promise of More Money. I REALLY hate this shit. Z and I had this discussion when he was working for the man and they asked him why doesn't money motivate him. People look at you like you are fucking insane when you say money isn't your biggest motivator for taking a job. Now no one wants to work for free. There was a War that wasn't quite Civil about it. No one wants to be underpaid either. That just sucks (trust me, I have been there and that is almost worse than not being paid at-fucking-all) it dry. However, I am in the WRONG fucking line of work because money isn't why I go to work everyday. As long as my bills are paid, my parents are good and my dog is fed I'm happy. I want to go to work, do something I ENJOY DOING for 8-10 hours (yeah, I will work a ten hour day if I LIKE THE FUCKING JOB) and get paid fairly for it. I also have no need to strive for more if I don't like what I do. You know, if you made 1 million dollars a year, but you had to be anally raped for 30 minutes every hour on the hour for 12 hours a day, would you be happy with your job? Is money really worth it? Hells no unless you like that kind of thing and to each their own. Not I said the cat.
I would go into the disconnect from reality big business has, but that is more of another rant. Congratulations to Corporate America. For staying in your own reality and brainwashing your employess, you are the Douche of the Week. You know, sounds like Scientology. Oh my go...BIG BUSINESS IS A PLAN BY SCIENTOLOGY! IT ALL MAKES SENSE! Think about it.
Okay, not my best rant but it was a great bitch session. Got out some frustration. Time for some calm down tuneage. This is the new closing theme for Bleach, which is really beginning to pick up the pace. I won't say it is back to par with the Soul Society arc, but its making headway. Anyway, this is Takacha with Movin':
I am digging that song something fierce. Well, this post has been LOOOONG. I hope this makes up for the last few days. I will try to be back either tomorrow night or Tuesday. Until then, here is some UVERworld! You know, this isn't on Timeless, I wonder what this is on. Song kis the ass, though. Here is Shamrock. Emphasis on ROCK!
Stay up, peeps.
Live, love and laugh.
Best Supporting Actress:
(Yeah, I need your help here. I'm not sure where to go with this category.)
Best Supporting Actor:
Morgan Freeman - Batman Begins
William H. Macy - Thank You For Smoking
Mos Def - Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
Best Actress:
Zhang Ziyi - Memoirs of a Geisha
Keira Knightly - Pirates of the Carriebean 2
Natalie Portman - V For Vendetta
Mandy Moore - American Dreamz (Highly underrated film, check it out)
Best Actor:
Aaron Eckart - Thank You For Smoking (HELL YEAH!)
Johnny Depp - Pirates of the Carriebean 2 (FUCK YEAH!)
Christian Bale - Batman Begins (SUPER FUCK YEAH!)
Steve Carrell - 40 year Old Virgin (Hey, if you don't use it you lose it)
'You Know, This May Have Sucked Worse Than Darkness Falls' Worst Movie of the Year
Elektra (Yes, I know this mindrape came out early 2005 but it deserves a nod)
Brokeback Mountain (No, I still haven't seen it. But I know it was shitty. Trust me, peeps)
Flightplan (I did see this clusterfuck and it SUCKED)
Nacho Libre (You know, this movie sucked so bad that the Al Gore movie looked like Star Wars)
Shittiest Actress of the Year:
Jodie Foster - Flightplan (Jodie, I can't stand you. Always have and always will after Contact.)
Jennifer Garner - Elektra (You and your cro-magnon neck. And you spawned with Ben Affleck. Good job, bitch. You have officially birthed the anti-Christ)
Paris Hilton - House of Wax (Never seen it, but the bitch can't even act like a WOMAN. Putting her in a movie is just...bad news)
Shittiest Actor of the Year
Jack Black - Nacho Libre (If you liked this movie, you should be put down. I am dead serious, you are dirtying up the fucking gene pool with your stupidity)
Heath Ledger - Brokeback Mountain (This man cannot act. Period. Everytime he gets work from this point out, I punch a puppy in the fucking ribs. I'm THROUGH PLAYING AROUND!)
Orlando Bloom - Kingdon of Heaven (Great, more of the gay archer. Why cant this man-sprite just die already?!)
Tom Cruise - Mission Impossible III (More like 'Mission Not-Watchable III' HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fuck you, Tom)
Now, for the grand finale...
Passion of Chachi's Movie of the Year Award!
Batman Begins
Thank You For Smoking
Pirates of the Carrebean 2 - Dead Man's Chest
40 Year Old Virgin
The Da Vinci Code
And there you have it, peeps. The nominees for the movie portion of the Passion of Chachi presents The Chachi Awards! I am debating whether or not to do a TV section, because I watched only seven shows over the last two years and three were anime (and I can't just nominate Bleach and The Colbert Report for EVERYTHING. Which I tried to do, but it just seemd unfair) so the odds of a TV section are slim. I think Movies and music are enough, seeing as how I haven't played a video game since Kingdom Hearts 2(byw, the ending for that was SO FUCKING UNDERWHELMING IT HURT INSIDE!). Even though NCAA Football 07 does come out this week (and a certain someone is gonna get their ass WHOOPED ON!) so I will be hitting that up next weekend BIG TIME.
So it is time for the Douche of the Week. Usually, I give this to a person or people. This week, I have been going through a mid-life crisis. I am kind of at a crossroads at my life and I had an epiphany about a week ago talking to Griff about how much I hate what I do. Then Z got a job at a place that sucks the balls (Man if you ask them to refer to you as Captian and they don't agree I believe you should walk, too) and it hit me. The Douche of the Week might just be the Douche of the Motherfucking Decade. The Douche of the Week is...
Coporate America
When I started my new job something hit me that morning when I woke up. I had spent seven years working in a coporate setting (middle management that has to justify its job by fucking with you, pointless reports and metrics that 'justify' your worth to the company, cubicles, pointless 'rah-rah' meetings where they spew rhetoric about 'believing is achieving' not knowing that Jesus actually hated salespeople and other bullshit like that) and I must say, that there is a real big disconnect between that world and the real world. You see, working in a coporate position is a lot like being in a cult. You REALLY have to suspend belief on the...rational and buy into rhetoric and spin that is just high level bullshit. Let's be real, peeps. It is all a game. Many of you reader (all six of you) have seen movies like Boiler Room, Wall Street and Glenn Gary Ross. I have seen those movies at request of two of my previous managers and I wanted to gouge out their eyes and use their skulls as spit bucket. And I dont even fucking chew. I'm not a moral or even a NICE person (ask my friends, they can vouch for that) but to be a person like some of the characters in those movies just isn't natural. I hate that fucking enviornment.
Like I said, my life is an open book and I hold the privacy of others very close to me. However, I will let the peeps know that I work in sales. I have since 1999 which will put it at seven years in September. SEVEN YEARS IN SALES. That is fucking sad. I cannot believe that I have been in an envoirnment that I hate for so much for so long. You know why I think corporate American succeeds so much?
1. They have killed company loyalty. Now people argue this that have been working for a company for more than 5 years and I respect their point of view, you have been there for a while. The days of a company taking care of you for life are over. They know it, we as employees know it (and if you don't you FUCKING SHOULD) and they know that we know that they know it. Business is a machine and people are cogs. They can find a cog to replace you at any point. Whether you leave or they let you go, you are not too valuable to be replaced by someone willing to do the job cheaper. That goes for any position, I'm living proof on both sides.
2. The Drinking of the Kool-Aid. I hate this shit. If you sit in a meeting and you don't understand that you are being shoveled shit and spin then you are an idiot. Now you can choose to believe it or not (I honestly believe in nothing but it still annoys me) but like your fucking God you keep it out of my zone. If i don't want to believe I don't fucking have to. All I have to do is do my job to its description, not listen to people quote the Book of Sales and Bullshit to me verbatum. You know the people I am talking about, too. The guy that believes everything that the management team says about the money you can make or the fact its a numbers game. First off, the goal of a company is to pay just enough to get you to work a little bit harder. Incentives are created to behoove the company first, the employees second. So no matter how good the benefits/commissions/bonuses are, as soon as they see that is isn't beneficial for the company you better believe that shit will change. Secondly, EVERYTHING IS A FUCKING NUMBERS GAME! YOu know what else is a numbers game? Getting an STD. If you fuck enough people, you are bound to get a painful wart or blue flames with shoot out when you pee. Which brings me to the big one:
3. The Promise of More Money. I REALLY hate this shit. Z and I had this discussion when he was working for the man and they asked him why doesn't money motivate him. People look at you like you are fucking insane when you say money isn't your biggest motivator for taking a job. Now no one wants to work for free. There was a War that wasn't quite Civil about it. No one wants to be underpaid either. That just sucks (trust me, I have been there and that is almost worse than not being paid at-fucking-all) it dry. However, I am in the WRONG fucking line of work because money isn't why I go to work everyday. As long as my bills are paid, my parents are good and my dog is fed I'm happy. I want to go to work, do something I ENJOY DOING for 8-10 hours (yeah, I will work a ten hour day if I LIKE THE FUCKING JOB) and get paid fairly for it. I also have no need to strive for more if I don't like what I do. You know, if you made 1 million dollars a year, but you had to be anally raped for 30 minutes every hour on the hour for 12 hours a day, would you be happy with your job? Is money really worth it? Hells no unless you like that kind of thing and to each their own. Not I said the cat.
I would go into the disconnect from reality big business has, but that is more of another rant. Congratulations to Corporate America. For staying in your own reality and brainwashing your employess, you are the Douche of the Week. You know, sounds like Scientology. Oh my go...BIG BUSINESS IS A PLAN BY SCIENTOLOGY! IT ALL MAKES SENSE! Think about it.
Okay, not my best rant but it was a great bitch session. Got out some frustration. Time for some calm down tuneage. This is the new closing theme for Bleach, which is really beginning to pick up the pace. I won't say it is back to par with the Soul Society arc, but its making headway. Anyway, this is Takacha with Movin':
I am digging that song something fierce. Well, this post has been LOOOONG. I hope this makes up for the last few days. I will try to be back either tomorrow night or Tuesday. Until then, here is some UVERworld! You know, this isn't on Timeless, I wonder what this is on. Song kis the ass, though. Here is Shamrock. Emphasis on ROCK!
Stay up, peeps.
Live, love and laugh.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Can You Find It In Your Heart To Forgive Me?
Okay, okay. I said I would have an update yesterday evening but somethings came up. I stayed in Denver late and was hella tired when I got home. However, tomorrow I will try my best to have the nominees up by midnight. I may end up pushing the Chachi's back until September (which works, its the end of the award season by then) and it gives me a chance to have more nominees, seeing as how 2005 sucked it hard.
So India gets several bombings (which they are blaming on the Pakistani's. Who knew THAT would happen. All the time Angelina Jolie and Cambodia are having a huge laugh. Watch out for them Cambodians, theys dangerous) and then Isreal tries to well...Palestine Palestine. DUde, they are messing them up BIG TIME. Anyone else see WWIII? Nah, but I do see Kim Jong Il as the next Nero. I'm just saying, the dude has started some stuff with his idiocy. You know, I think I see a Lifetime Achievement of Douchebaggery Award in his future, peeps.
So the other night I was watching Power Rangers and I had to ask myself: was that show REALLY that gay? I used to watch that show every day at 4:00 on Fox Kids afterschool and I though it was the tits. Now I watch it and it is the most asinine thing I have ever seen. I will say it once, I will say it again. WHAT IN THE FUCK IS IN ANGEL GROVE?! Oil? Legal sex with minors? Free rib tips? WHAT?! I know I said this before, but what kind of place with paper buildings has an INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT?! When I think worldwide flights, I think JFK, DIA, O'Hare and Angel-Fucking-Grove. I really do. Sorry, that is just bugging me. I'm okay now. Why was the Black Ranger black and the Yellow Ranger....some sort of Asian?! They never even said what country she was fucking from! I think, maybe it was Thailand. Doesn't matter.
Well, that is all for now. Oh, I just finished Bunty and Babli yesterday and it kicked ass. I'm gonna rent out the White House to an Asian business man for a weird sex party. Because I have seen the videos, that is what they do. Freaky shit, peeps. I don't recommend you watch unless you don't mind trying to spend two years trying to unsee traumatic stuff. They likes the poo, peeps. Like the Germans but shorter. Man, that is racist. I'm sorry. Here is some Bollywood goodness to make up for it:
Man, I need to learn how to DO THAT. I have beat control, but I can't rememeber dance steps for shit. Just gotta practice. Anyway, stay up peeps. I will TRY to be back tomorrow afternoon or evening, it depends on whether I party it up in Denver or not. No drinking though, and I REALLY need a Pirate Punch (Rum and...a glass) right about now, but I made a choice not to and I am going to stick by it. Anyway stay up, peeps.
Live, love and laugh. It helps a lot (to a certain someone out there who needs the pick-me-up).
So India gets several bombings (which they are blaming on the Pakistani's. Who knew THAT would happen. All the time Angelina Jolie and Cambodia are having a huge laugh. Watch out for them Cambodians, theys dangerous) and then Isreal tries to well...Palestine Palestine. DUde, they are messing them up BIG TIME. Anyone else see WWIII? Nah, but I do see Kim Jong Il as the next Nero. I'm just saying, the dude has started some stuff with his idiocy. You know, I think I see a Lifetime Achievement of Douchebaggery Award in his future, peeps.
So the other night I was watching Power Rangers and I had to ask myself: was that show REALLY that gay? I used to watch that show every day at 4:00 on Fox Kids afterschool and I though it was the tits. Now I watch it and it is the most asinine thing I have ever seen. I will say it once, I will say it again. WHAT IN THE FUCK IS IN ANGEL GROVE?! Oil? Legal sex with minors? Free rib tips? WHAT?! I know I said this before, but what kind of place with paper buildings has an INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT?! When I think worldwide flights, I think JFK, DIA, O'Hare and Angel-Fucking-Grove. I really do. Sorry, that is just bugging me. I'm okay now. Why was the Black Ranger black and the Yellow Ranger....some sort of Asian?! They never even said what country she was fucking from! I think, maybe it was Thailand. Doesn't matter.
Well, that is all for now. Oh, I just finished Bunty and Babli yesterday and it kicked ass. I'm gonna rent out the White House to an Asian business man for a weird sex party. Because I have seen the videos, that is what they do. Freaky shit, peeps. I don't recommend you watch unless you don't mind trying to spend two years trying to unsee traumatic stuff. They likes the poo, peeps. Like the Germans but shorter. Man, that is racist. I'm sorry. Here is some Bollywood goodness to make up for it:
Man, I need to learn how to DO THAT. I have beat control, but I can't rememeber dance steps for shit. Just gotta practice. Anyway, stay up peeps. I will TRY to be back tomorrow afternoon or evening, it depends on whether I party it up in Denver or not. No drinking though, and I REALLY need a Pirate Punch (Rum and...a glass) right about now, but I made a choice not to and I am going to stick by it. Anyway stay up, peeps.
Live, love and laugh. It helps a lot (to a certain someone out there who needs the pick-me-up).
Thursday, July 13, 2006
My Bad
My bad about no update yesterday. I will try to drop the nominees for the Film Chachi's this evening. Until then, here is Ken Hirai!
My bad peeps. I will be back soon, just been busy. Stay up.
Love laugh and live.
My bad peeps. I will be back soon, just been busy. Stay up.
Love laugh and live.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Hollis to Bollywood, Fool!
Morning, peeps! I'm back for a few minutes to just say this: I am SO moving to India. It's the only place you can sing and dance in the streets and not be arrested or made fun of. Zach bought up a good point, there are WAY too many people in India to dance comfortably, but hey you gotta make sacrifices if you want to be able to dance in the streets. Bollywood kicks the ass (albeit the movies are LOOOOOOONG for the sake of being long in my opinion, but at least there is high powered dancing rather than high powered beatings like in The Passion) and I wish we had more musicals in America. It is a dying artform here.
Speaking of movies, I am still working on the nominees for the film categories of The Chachi Awards. I hope to have them done and up by at least Thursday night. I will try to have all the polls up for all categories by no later than next Friday. We'll see if I can stick to that, but I think I can. Slow news day so far this morning, so I am about to head out. I will TRY to be on this evening if I get the bus with the WiFi on it. Man, the FREX has gone downhill ever since the damn Democrats started running it. I've been more comfortable during a prison riot.
Live, love and laugh peeps. (I'm trying out new closers. Tell me what you think)
Speaking of movies, I am still working on the nominees for the film categories of The Chachi Awards. I hope to have them done and up by at least Thursday night. I will try to have all the polls up for all categories by no later than next Friday. We'll see if I can stick to that, but I think I can. Slow news day so far this morning, so I am about to head out. I will TRY to be on this evening if I get the bus with the WiFi on it. Man, the FREX has gone downhill ever since the damn Democrats started running it. I've been more comfortable during a prison riot.
Live, love and laugh peeps. (I'm trying out new closers. Tell me what you think)
Monday, July 10, 2006
Muck Fondays
Morning, peeps. I am so tired I can't even concentrate. Jebus, this is beginning to suck. Anyway, how is everyone this craptastic morning? I am still letting 132 MILLION DOLLARS for Pirates 2 sink in. I am almost giddy that it outgrossed Mission Impossible III in its first three days. Take THAT Tom Cruise.
Speaking of old 'Batshit Crazy' Cruise, a very important point was discussed last week and then bought up this weeked while talking to Zach. Has anyone even SEEN baby Suri? I know that I should just let the couple enjoy their privacy, but not this time. I honestly think either there was no baby or it is the Dawson's. Other celebs havent even seen the baby. You think that it looks like The Fly or something or that this whole thing was a farce? I think we have all been lied, honestly.
Now onto my big story of the day: Japan is about to run Hell Week all over North Korea's ass! We all know that after WWII that Japan isnt allowed to whoop up on anyones ass, but if they do this I am thinking two things: giant robots and ninjas. And THAT ladies and gentlemen is why Japan rules ALL. Could you imagine Voltron tearing up Kim Jong Il's stronghold? I can, I actually wrote a movie about it starring Josh Hartnett. Give 'em hell, Japan. Give 'em hell.
Well, just a quick update for today. Depending on when I get home, I may drop some nominees on you tonight or just give a quick update. Until then, stay up peeps.
Im out of here.
Speaking of old 'Batshit Crazy' Cruise, a very important point was discussed last week and then bought up this weeked while talking to Zach. Has anyone even SEEN baby Suri? I know that I should just let the couple enjoy their privacy, but not this time. I honestly think either there was no baby or it is the Dawson's. Other celebs havent even seen the baby. You think that it looks like The Fly or something or that this whole thing was a farce? I think we have all been lied, honestly.
Now onto my big story of the day: Japan is about to run Hell Week all over North Korea's ass! We all know that after WWII that Japan isnt allowed to whoop up on anyones ass, but if they do this I am thinking two things: giant robots and ninjas. And THAT ladies and gentlemen is why Japan rules ALL. Could you imagine Voltron tearing up Kim Jong Il's stronghold? I can, I actually wrote a movie about it starring Josh Hartnett. Give 'em hell, Japan. Give 'em hell.
Well, just a quick update for today. Depending on when I get home, I may drop some nominees on you tonight or just give a quick update. Until then, stay up peeps.
Im out of here.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Rated M...for MOTHERF*****G GOOD!!
What's up, everybody? Sorry no update yesterday, I needed to catch up on some sleep. I'm feeling super now, thanks for asking! With that being said, it's time for Douche of the Week!
Douche of the Week: Kim Jong Il
Now I'm not gonna lie, Kim Jong Il had this award wrapped after pulling Cartman and doing whateva he wants by launching missles at Japan. What is funnier is that it came NO WHERE EVEN CLOSE to hitting it. I just threw a fucking show and I came closer to hitting Osaka than the Tapadongdadongdongdong Version 2. Yet, I can't stop laughing at the fucktard long enough to be mad at him. I mean does he really think that threatening NUCLEAR WAR on the United States is going to get the world behind North Korea? What the fuck, Kim are you a retard? As big a bunch of pussies as 90% of the world is, even THEY know that no good will come out of a nuclear war and they will side with us against North Korea solely for the fact that they want to fucking LIVE. Remember when India and Pakistan were threatening nuking eachother? Exactly because that shit got squelched quick. The world would rather sit through another season of Fat Actress than have a war started, especially by some chucklehead like Kim Jong Il. I always figured it would be Chavez who grew the stones to challenge us but I was wrong. The 'fro is strong in Kimmy. So Kim, for threatening the end of the world because you are a lonely fuck with bad hair, you are officially the Douche of the Week! Congratulations, moron.
So with that being said, I am finalizing the music nomines for the Chachi's and I will begin finalizing the film nominees this week after work. The Council of Awesomeness will have its' first official meeting this Saturday (or Sunday, depends on how Friday pans out) to discuss the nominees and take the peeps suggestions into account. I know it was supposed to happen THIS week, but Rock Bottom Brewery sucks the ass. Here are the final nominees for the music categories:
Best Hip Hop Artist/Group
Common
Soul'd Out
T.I.
Kanye West
Best Rock Artist/Group
UVERworld
Avenged Sevenfold
Hyde
Hawthorne Heights (I like these guys, not sure why)
Best Pop (Female)
Gwen Stefani
BoA
Kelly Clarkson
Bennie K
Best Pop (Male)
Se7en
Rob Thomas
Ken Hirai
Best R&B (Male)
John Legend
Ne-Yo
Trey Songz
Kem (If you don't know who he is, shame the FUCK ON YOU)
Best R&B (Female)
Mary J. Blige
Crystal Kay
Rhianna
Floetry
Michael Jackson is NOT A GENRE OF MUSIC Award
Chris Brown
Omarion
Justin Timberlake
Ne-Yo
The Windows Up Jam of the Year
Bad Day - Daniel Powter
L.O.V.E. - Ashlee Simpson
Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It - Dem Franchise Boyz
Pop Star - Ken Hirai (I roll to this jam with the windows down, mind you.)
The Rip Out Your Ear Drums With A Fork If You Hear It Again Song of the Year
Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani
Ms. New Booty - Bubba Sparxxx
What You Know - T.I.
Since You've Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
Grillz - Nelly
Because No One Demanded It Award
Stars Something Something - Paris Hilton (I actually havent HEARD the song, but it sucks.)
Dime Piece - Nick Cannon (FUCK NICK CANNON!)
Popozao - Kevin Federline (Yeah. The title speaks for it-fucking-self. SHIT ON TAPE)
Laffy Taffy - D4L (The one group I believe would benefit by being SHOT. Tupac style. Too soon to make fun of rappers dying in a hail of gunfire? Not for me.)
'I Swear I'm Not A Whore!' Song of the Year
Don't Cha - Pussycat Dolls (Love the song, but come on ladies. It cant be that hard to find a man)
Me & You - Cassie
Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland (Yeah, this is real talk right here. Whatever that means)
Ms. New Booty - Bubba Sparxxx (You dance to this song and shake your ass, you are an an idiot.)
Shake It - Kumi Koda (Love The Koda, but man. That is kind of a dirty video. And by kinda I mean is. Didn't stop me from watching it though because its THE DAMN KODA)
Passion of Chachi's Song of the Year
La Tortura - Shakira feat. Alejandro Sanz
Pop Star - Ken Hirai
What You Know? - T.I.
Bennie K - Dreamland
Common - Go
So peeps, there you have it! The lines are open (meaning my one email and comment area because I don't have the money like American Idol) and your suggestions are appriciated! I will put polls up soon (my website is SUCKING BALLS so once I figure it out I will create a page for it like I had for Douchebrawl) while I finalize the TV and movie categories. More updates as the come, peeps!
Now its time for a real quick installment of....
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD!!
So I went to see Pirates 2 on Friday and this review is gonna be short because I am going to list the only bad things about this movie right now:
1. No Ninjas. I can get past that though. If only they could be in the sequel...I would fill the fucking BIG GULP.
2. Not enough singing. Now there WAS singing, just not the kind of singing I have come to expect from pirates.
3. The ending. Not a bad ending, just kinda pulled an Empire Strikes Back on me. Still ruled.
That it. Those are the only bad points of the movie, and these are reaches. This movie kicked so much ass that I am still recooperating as we speak. This may be the greatest movie EVER MADE. Yes, I said it. Almost better than Batman Begins. ALMOST. Oh, and one more thing:
132 MILLION DOLLARS?!
Jesus Christ, man! I knew Johnny Depp was hot (a certain lady said I was crazy for loving Johnny Depp. Well it seems all of America loves him, woman! How do you like them apples?! Let's see Matthew Mac-bongo-ehey break BOX OFFICE RECORDS!) but this is AWESOME! Now I CAN say that Pirates was better than the original Spiderman (not the second one, that movie kicked ass even though it did less at the box office) and it is also the best movie of the year hands down. Better than Superman and better than X-Men. The only sad thing about this: unless Clerks II kicks MAJOR ASS (which it may just if Kevin Smith gets his goddamn act together) the movie going experience can only go downhill from here. That hurts a little bit, but thems the breaks. Still the best movie summer in a LOOOOONG time. Oh, my rating for Pirates 2? Well, I have only given this rating to one movie. And you KNOW that movie. I have to give pirates...
10 STARS! Yes, it was that good. Go see it. NOW, MAN THERE IS NO TIME TO DAWDLE!! I'll wait.
See, told you it was worth it. Well, that's all for today, gotta get ready to wake up at the asscrack of dawn tomorrow. Stay up, peeps.
I'm out.
Update: THE HEARTSDALES BROKE UP?! NOOOOOOOOOO! Lets remember the...good times...bwaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! I need a moment....
Carry on, Heartsdales. Carry on.
Douche of the Week: Kim Jong Il
Now I'm not gonna lie, Kim Jong Il had this award wrapped after pulling Cartman and doing whateva he wants by launching missles at Japan. What is funnier is that it came NO WHERE EVEN CLOSE to hitting it. I just threw a fucking show and I came closer to hitting Osaka than the Tapadongdadongdongdong Version 2. Yet, I can't stop laughing at the fucktard long enough to be mad at him. I mean does he really think that threatening NUCLEAR WAR on the United States is going to get the world behind North Korea? What the fuck, Kim are you a retard? As big a bunch of pussies as 90% of the world is, even THEY know that no good will come out of a nuclear war and they will side with us against North Korea solely for the fact that they want to fucking LIVE. Remember when India and Pakistan were threatening nuking eachother? Exactly because that shit got squelched quick. The world would rather sit through another season of Fat Actress than have a war started, especially by some chucklehead like Kim Jong Il. I always figured it would be Chavez who grew the stones to challenge us but I was wrong. The 'fro is strong in Kimmy. So Kim, for threatening the end of the world because you are a lonely fuck with bad hair, you are officially the Douche of the Week! Congratulations, moron.
So with that being said, I am finalizing the music nomines for the Chachi's and I will begin finalizing the film nominees this week after work. The Council of Awesomeness will have its' first official meeting this Saturday (or Sunday, depends on how Friday pans out) to discuss the nominees and take the peeps suggestions into account. I know it was supposed to happen THIS week, but Rock Bottom Brewery sucks the ass. Here are the final nominees for the music categories:
Best Hip Hop Artist/Group
Common
Soul'd Out
T.I.
Kanye West
Best Rock Artist/Group
UVERworld
Avenged Sevenfold
Hyde
Hawthorne Heights (I like these guys, not sure why)
Best Pop (Female)
Gwen Stefani
BoA
Kelly Clarkson
Bennie K
Best Pop (Male)
Se7en
Rob Thomas
Ken Hirai
Best R&B (Male)
John Legend
Ne-Yo
Trey Songz
Kem (If you don't know who he is, shame the FUCK ON YOU)
Best R&B (Female)
Mary J. Blige
Crystal Kay
Rhianna
Floetry
Michael Jackson is NOT A GENRE OF MUSIC Award
Chris Brown
Omarion
Justin Timberlake
Ne-Yo
The Windows Up Jam of the Year
Bad Day - Daniel Powter
L.O.V.E. - Ashlee Simpson
Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It - Dem Franchise Boyz
Pop Star - Ken Hirai (I roll to this jam with the windows down, mind you.)
The Rip Out Your Ear Drums With A Fork If You Hear It Again Song of the Year
Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani
Ms. New Booty - Bubba Sparxxx
What You Know - T.I.
Since You've Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
Grillz - Nelly
Because No One Demanded It Award
Stars Something Something - Paris Hilton (I actually havent HEARD the song, but it sucks.)
Dime Piece - Nick Cannon (FUCK NICK CANNON!)
Popozao - Kevin Federline (Yeah. The title speaks for it-fucking-self. SHIT ON TAPE)
Laffy Taffy - D4L (The one group I believe would benefit by being SHOT. Tupac style. Too soon to make fun of rappers dying in a hail of gunfire? Not for me.)
'I Swear I'm Not A Whore!' Song of the Year
Don't Cha - Pussycat Dolls (Love the song, but come on ladies. It cant be that hard to find a man)
Me & You - Cassie
Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland (Yeah, this is real talk right here. Whatever that means)
Ms. New Booty - Bubba Sparxxx (You dance to this song and shake your ass, you are an an idiot.)
Shake It - Kumi Koda (Love The Koda, but man. That is kind of a dirty video. And by kinda I mean is. Didn't stop me from watching it though because its THE DAMN KODA)
Passion of Chachi's Song of the Year
La Tortura - Shakira feat. Alejandro Sanz
Pop Star - Ken Hirai
What You Know? - T.I.
Bennie K - Dreamland
Common - Go
So peeps, there you have it! The lines are open (meaning my one email and comment area because I don't have the money like American Idol) and your suggestions are appriciated! I will put polls up soon (my website is SUCKING BALLS so once I figure it out I will create a page for it like I had for Douchebrawl) while I finalize the TV and movie categories. More updates as the come, peeps!
Now its time for a real quick installment of....
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD!!
So I went to see Pirates 2 on Friday and this review is gonna be short because I am going to list the only bad things about this movie right now:
1. No Ninjas. I can get past that though. If only they could be in the sequel...I would fill the fucking BIG GULP.
2. Not enough singing. Now there WAS singing, just not the kind of singing I have come to expect from pirates.
3. The ending. Not a bad ending, just kinda pulled an Empire Strikes Back on me. Still ruled.
That it. Those are the only bad points of the movie, and these are reaches. This movie kicked so much ass that I am still recooperating as we speak. This may be the greatest movie EVER MADE. Yes, I said it. Almost better than Batman Begins. ALMOST. Oh, and one more thing:
132 MILLION DOLLARS?!
Jesus Christ, man! I knew Johnny Depp was hot (a certain lady said I was crazy for loving Johnny Depp. Well it seems all of America loves him, woman! How do you like them apples?! Let's see Matthew Mac-bongo-ehey break BOX OFFICE RECORDS!) but this is AWESOME! Now I CAN say that Pirates was better than the original Spiderman (not the second one, that movie kicked ass even though it did less at the box office) and it is also the best movie of the year hands down. Better than Superman and better than X-Men. The only sad thing about this: unless Clerks II kicks MAJOR ASS (which it may just if Kevin Smith gets his goddamn act together) the movie going experience can only go downhill from here. That hurts a little bit, but thems the breaks. Still the best movie summer in a LOOOOONG time. Oh, my rating for Pirates 2? Well, I have only given this rating to one movie. And you KNOW that movie. I have to give pirates...
10 STARS! Yes, it was that good. Go see it. NOW, MAN THERE IS NO TIME TO DAWDLE!! I'll wait.
See, told you it was worth it. Well, that's all for today, gotta get ready to wake up at the asscrack of dawn tomorrow. Stay up, peeps.
I'm out.
Update: THE HEARTSDALES BROKE UP?! NOOOOOOOOOO! Lets remember the...good times...bwaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! I need a moment....
Carry on, Heartsdales. Carry on.
Friday, July 07, 2006
It's A Pirates Life For Me As Well...
Morning peeps. It's another Friday and I must say I am happy it is here. Pirates 2 comes out tonight, and the reviews have been...waterlogged to say the least. Scurvy land-loving dogs! How dare you question the greatness that is Pirates 2?! Well, can't be any worse than Nacho Libre. I honestly feel that if you liked that movie, you should be slapped. That movie was mind-fuckingly bad. I mean Darkness Falls bad. ELEKTRA bad. Nay, Daredevil bad. Oh, yeah. I went there. Even still, I'm gonna set sail and watch it tonight.
So I am still working on the other categories for The Chachis. I will have a few more up this weekend (depending on how this weekend goes, I may have updates on Saturday AND Sunday. Be still, peeps.) and also the Douche of the Week. So a hefty weekend on the blog, hope I'm up for it. Until then peeps, I'm out. Stay up, ya'll.
I'm out.
So I am still working on the other categories for The Chachis. I will have a few more up this weekend (depending on how this weekend goes, I may have updates on Saturday AND Sunday. Be still, peeps.) and also the Douche of the Week. So a hefty weekend on the blog, hope I'm up for it. Until then peeps, I'm out. Stay up, ya'll.
I'm out.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
And (Some Of) The Nominees Are...
Good morning, ya'll. I have an announcement to make: The Chachi's are finalized! Kinda. You see, I have figured out how I am going to do this. First off, the cut off date for albums and movie releases is April 30, 2006 so some new things you have seen on this blog may not be nominated. For each category I am going to pick three nominees. Then, I will let the peeps and the Council of Awesomeness (who will have their first meeting this weekend over punch and pie) decide the final three nominees in each category. The problem is...I haven't thought of them all yet. But I'm getting there! I'm only three personalities, this kind of thing takes work! This ain't the Grammys!
Speaking of different personalites, I am trying to find a happy medium between the humor in Chachi, the anger in Duece and the kindness in Will. Hopefully into a considerate killing machine with the ability to recite Aqua Teen line verbatum. Just trying to find a balance, peeps.
So, here we go. Officially the first category for the First Annual Passion of Chachi Awards! The first award is...
Best Male Artist
The three nominees that I have chosen are...
Ken Hirai
T.I.
Se7en
Great choices if I do say so myself. The next category is....
Best Female Artist
My choices are...
Kumi Koda
Mary J. Blige
Shakira
Now that is a saucy category if I do say so myself. Next I have...
Best Group
Orange Range
UVERworld
The Fray
Yeah, I like the damn Fray. Sue me.
Well, that is all for now. Drop a line if you have any suggestions. Much like Douchebrawl I will take them into consideration. The polls won't be up for a while (I may push the date back to accomodate suggestions) so feel free to drop a line. Stay up, peeps.
I am out for now.
Speaking of different personalites, I am trying to find a happy medium between the humor in Chachi, the anger in Duece and the kindness in Will. Hopefully into a considerate killing machine with the ability to recite Aqua Teen line verbatum. Just trying to find a balance, peeps.
So, here we go. Officially the first category for the First Annual Passion of Chachi Awards! The first award is...
Best Male Artist
The three nominees that I have chosen are...
Ken Hirai
T.I.
Se7en
Great choices if I do say so myself. The next category is....
Best Female Artist
My choices are...
Kumi Koda
Mary J. Blige
Shakira
Now that is a saucy category if I do say so myself. Next I have...
Best Group
Orange Range
UVERworld
The Fray
Yeah, I like the damn Fray. Sue me.
Well, that is all for now. Drop a line if you have any suggestions. Much like Douchebrawl I will take them into consideration. The polls won't be up for a while (I may push the date back to accomodate suggestions) so feel free to drop a line. Stay up, peeps.
I am out for now.
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