First things first: I Poppa freaks all the honeys:
Damn you, Griff. Now you got me doing it. Now I am sure that a lot of you are all like “WHOOO! Fourth of July! Let me celebrate the freedom of this nation by kicking the shit out of an Indian and making a nigger pick my cotton! USA! WHOOOO! SKYNARD!” and to that I say cool. If you AREN’T doing that then you are missing the reason to be proud to be an American: wanton, rampant and unapologetic douchery to those that are lesser than you. So Indians, find a Turk and smack the shit out of them for America. You earned it. US-MOTHERFUCKING-A!
Now some of you would see that statement as being unpatriotic. Well, fuck your face. The Fourth of July is just another holiday for rednecks to see reason to shoot off fireworks, get drunk of Keystone and talk about how great America is over let’s say…a train. Simpsons reference. Well, I honestly don’t give a shit about any holiday except Valentine’s Day in Japan because I like getting gifts without the bullshit of whether it is Jesus’s or Santa’s birthday and all the lame ass carols. So much like St. Patrick’s Day, Cinco De Mayo and Yom Kippur, this is another holiday to give White people a reason to do something borderline illegal and not feel like shits. Well, you know what? YOU ARE WHITE. YOU SHOULD NEVER BE SAD BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE AWESOMENESS OF BEING WHITE TO FALL BACK ON! Besides, it was Indepencence from the British we are celebrating, not whatever in the hell we celebrate now. So instead of honkeys shooting off fireworks at Wolven awful hours of the night yelling “WHOOOOO! USA!” we should do what our slave-raping forefathers INTENDED FOR US TO DO. And that is powerbomb the shit out of an Englishman:
BTW, that is Canada giving the clothsline to complete the Doomsday Device. If anyone knows about kicking the shit out of someone with a wrestling move, it’s the Canadians. If wars were held in steel cages or on ladder, you best believe Canada is who I want taging with us over England. Now THAT would reek of awesomeness:
Man, now Edge and Christian would make an awesome President and Vice-President. Could you imagine Kim Jong Il getting a Conchairto for being such a douche? I can and it would be the most awesome moment since the first time I saw the commercial for the Transformers train set.
Well, with that being said I hope you all enjoy your 4th of July. Odd how people are celebrating their independence from our current only ally aside from Poland. Can’t forget Poland:
I lol’d. Anyway, I have a new catchphrase for today….
Celebrate freedom. Powerbomb an Englishman.
Chachi Out
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Now I'm On That Soju Again, Oh S**t, You Know I'm Back!
I AINT DEAD, MOTHERFUCKERS! I am BACK AND I AM FILLED WITH FURY! Oh, and soon to be filled with soju. Yeah, it’s how I deal with my problems so FUCK YOU, FUCKY. Soju doesn’t judge me or lay me off because I am keeping my options open because I am about to get fired. YEAH, I SAID IT. But again, those are the breaks and I am pretty much over it. When you have good friends, it makes things like this easy to handle. Thanks to Copper and Kasey for being down for the team. When I get my superpowers and hold the world at bay with my evil intentions, you will be my Gin and Tousen. Or my Bebop and Rocksteady, depending on whether I want to go the demented ninja master route.
So I will finish up the 101 Things That Piss Me Off next week (Only thirty left so you can pretty much guess them) due to some irritations on this end. Also, I think I will do a blog this weekend about something. It was GOING to be Michael Jackson but since Black people get Niggamnesia about the King of Pop I just will let it go because I honestly haven’t thought about the dude since America’s Best Dance Crew and I am not going to act like I am broken up or shocked about it. Reports of painkillers were rampant for over 10 years or so after all that has happened to his body so if you are shocked then you don’t know their long term effects in massive doses. And before you get sand in your vaginas NO it doesn’t take away from him as an artist but it doesn’t make me feel like he is any more tragic than James Brown when he died. The man was on Ike Turner levels of beating his wife but he was still the Godfather of Soul and Hot Tub Man #1:
Too hot in the hot tub! Always funny…unlike Eddie Murphy now. Anyway, I will leave Michael Jackson alone for now and let people with short-term memory remember him how they want to. He will always be the big-nosed kid with the afro doing the robot to “Dancing Machine” and the guy that convinced me to buy a Sega Genesis and spend countless quarters on that DAMN GAME THAT I COULDN’T BEAT TO SAVE MY GOD DAMNED LIFE:
Damn, those special moves should be in every game. Could you imagine that shit in Ninja Gaiden? Might make that game beatable. Naaaah. Anyway, rest in peace Mike. You will be missed. Especially by Tito. He was THIS CLOSE to getting that hit! I will be back up soon. Oh, and for those of you wondering why I don’t post the Countdown anymore, I have it on my YouTube channel now for the most part. Check it out when you get the chance. I will be back up soon and more often. Until then, stay up peeps. AND I AM BACK, BITCHES!
Chachi Out
So I will finish up the 101 Things That Piss Me Off next week (Only thirty left so you can pretty much guess them) due to some irritations on this end. Also, I think I will do a blog this weekend about something. It was GOING to be Michael Jackson but since Black people get Niggamnesia about the King of Pop I just will let it go because I honestly haven’t thought about the dude since America’s Best Dance Crew and I am not going to act like I am broken up or shocked about it. Reports of painkillers were rampant for over 10 years or so after all that has happened to his body so if you are shocked then you don’t know their long term effects in massive doses. And before you get sand in your vaginas NO it doesn’t take away from him as an artist but it doesn’t make me feel like he is any more tragic than James Brown when he died. The man was on Ike Turner levels of beating his wife but he was still the Godfather of Soul and Hot Tub Man #1:
Too hot in the hot tub! Always funny…unlike Eddie Murphy now. Anyway, I will leave Michael Jackson alone for now and let people with short-term memory remember him how they want to. He will always be the big-nosed kid with the afro doing the robot to “Dancing Machine” and the guy that convinced me to buy a Sega Genesis and spend countless quarters on that DAMN GAME THAT I COULDN’T BEAT TO SAVE MY GOD DAMNED LIFE:
Damn, those special moves should be in every game. Could you imagine that shit in Ninja Gaiden? Might make that game beatable. Naaaah. Anyway, rest in peace Mike. You will be missed. Especially by Tito. He was THIS CLOSE to getting that hit! I will be back up soon. Oh, and for those of you wondering why I don’t post the Countdown anymore, I have it on my YouTube channel now for the most part. Check it out when you get the chance. I will be back up soon and more often. Until then, stay up peeps. AND I AM BACK, BITCHES!
Chachi Out
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Monday: Sucking Ass Since The Dawn Of Time
After about a week I am back and I am sorry for the absence. Things are bugging me but now that I know no one else gives a shit, neither do I. What can one do? Anyway, I want to finish something up…
101 Things That Piss Me Off!
We are in the 30’s right now so lets get moving!
39. SPIKE TV: So, um…since when was UFC and shitty action movies the sign of being a man? I seem to have missed the boat on this one and maybe it is because I am 70/30 gay that fluctuates damn near hourly but I have only watched one show on SPIKE and that was TNA Wrestling. And the only reason for that is that there is no America’s Best Dance Crew on. More on the “manly man” bullshit later but Spike has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. And if you say UFC…you gay, boy. Go look at some yaoi and paddle yourself YOU SICK FREAK.
38. Justin Timberlake: Well…I dunno. I mean J-Tim has been working my nerves for about a year now because he is Blacker than I am. Not a shock or a big deal but man I think people need to remember that this dude was the lead singer of N’SYNC which wasn’t the bastion of Blackness. At least Backstreet Boys had the ballad down. “I’ll Never Break Your Heart” anyone?
37. Tim & Erick Awesome Show: FUCK THIS DUMB ASS SHOW. If anyone can tell me why this show is still on and Code Monkeys isn’t I will punch your baby dead in the face because you are a MOTHERFUCKING LIAR. This show sucks; Black Steve was awesome. Die, honkey, die! Priceless!
36. People on bikes: Okay, if you stay out of the road we are cool. But the moment your punk ass steps in the realm of the car, all your rights no longer exist. You know who you are and if you act like you have four wheels you are going to get handled like you have four wheels.
35. Mountain Dew’s “Game Fuel”: Yes, if there is one thing gamers need it is another thing to keep them in the basement and awake playing Counterstrike or World of Warcraft. Mountain Dew is just Satan’s piss anyfuckingway so I don’t see the big deal. Nasty stuff. Now the Livewire was heart-stopping goodness.
34. Cargo Shorts: Okay, unless you handle cargo or use 70% of the pockets for actual shit then don’t wear them. Especially with flip flops or sandals. God, I hate white people.
33. Egg Salad: Mayonaise + eggs – tuna or chicken = NOT FUCKING FOOD. It’s a waste of good eggs. Whose bright idea WAS THIS?!
32. University of Nebraska: Ugh, the Cornhuskers irk the shit out of me. YES I know a lot of this has to do with me being a CU alum but man, I really don’t like that state. Anime Nebraskon will be an event of either boredom or drunken awesomeness because I can’t do Lincoln again sober.
31. CNN: If MSNBC sucks and Fox News REALLY sucks then what does CNN do? Not a god damn thing. The only thing it has going for it is Anderson Cooper and he is a fucking creepy ass albino that needs to have his feet cut off because he is a demon. CNN has very little of relevance on and the good stuff they DO have on is usually done better by the two shittier networks.
30. Triple H: If you don’t watch wrestling then you don’t understand my hatred of this guy. Every six months it seems like Triple H is beating up someone that I would rather be champ (Yes, I am a wrestling fan and yes, I totally want to make the sweet love to Maryse). From RVD to Chris Jericho to Edge it feels like he lives to screw up anything good that comes about. It’s like watching a 50 Cent video.
Well, we are down to the 20’s for the next time which I hope to have up before next week. Want to do it before Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen which YES I will be seeing because I am hoping beyond hope that Shia LeBeouf with fucking die a gruesome death. Odds are no, though. It’s how my life has gone. Until next time, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
101 Things That Piss Me Off!
We are in the 30’s right now so lets get moving!
39. SPIKE TV: So, um…since when was UFC and shitty action movies the sign of being a man? I seem to have missed the boat on this one and maybe it is because I am 70/30 gay that fluctuates damn near hourly but I have only watched one show on SPIKE and that was TNA Wrestling. And the only reason for that is that there is no America’s Best Dance Crew on. More on the “manly man” bullshit later but Spike has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. And if you say UFC…you gay, boy. Go look at some yaoi and paddle yourself YOU SICK FREAK.
38. Justin Timberlake: Well…I dunno. I mean J-Tim has been working my nerves for about a year now because he is Blacker than I am. Not a shock or a big deal but man I think people need to remember that this dude was the lead singer of N’SYNC which wasn’t the bastion of Blackness. At least Backstreet Boys had the ballad down. “I’ll Never Break Your Heart” anyone?
37. Tim & Erick Awesome Show: FUCK THIS DUMB ASS SHOW. If anyone can tell me why this show is still on and Code Monkeys isn’t I will punch your baby dead in the face because you are a MOTHERFUCKING LIAR. This show sucks; Black Steve was awesome. Die, honkey, die! Priceless!
36. People on bikes: Okay, if you stay out of the road we are cool. But the moment your punk ass steps in the realm of the car, all your rights no longer exist. You know who you are and if you act like you have four wheels you are going to get handled like you have four wheels.
35. Mountain Dew’s “Game Fuel”: Yes, if there is one thing gamers need it is another thing to keep them in the basement and awake playing Counterstrike or World of Warcraft. Mountain Dew is just Satan’s piss anyfuckingway so I don’t see the big deal. Nasty stuff. Now the Livewire was heart-stopping goodness.
34. Cargo Shorts: Okay, unless you handle cargo or use 70% of the pockets for actual shit then don’t wear them. Especially with flip flops or sandals. God, I hate white people.
33. Egg Salad: Mayonaise + eggs – tuna or chicken = NOT FUCKING FOOD. It’s a waste of good eggs. Whose bright idea WAS THIS?!
32. University of Nebraska: Ugh, the Cornhuskers irk the shit out of me. YES I know a lot of this has to do with me being a CU alum but man, I really don’t like that state. Anime Nebraskon will be an event of either boredom or drunken awesomeness because I can’t do Lincoln again sober.
31. CNN: If MSNBC sucks and Fox News REALLY sucks then what does CNN do? Not a god damn thing. The only thing it has going for it is Anderson Cooper and he is a fucking creepy ass albino that needs to have his feet cut off because he is a demon. CNN has very little of relevance on and the good stuff they DO have on is usually done better by the two shittier networks.
30. Triple H: If you don’t watch wrestling then you don’t understand my hatred of this guy. Every six months it seems like Triple H is beating up someone that I would rather be champ (Yes, I am a wrestling fan and yes, I totally want to make the sweet love to Maryse). From RVD to Chris Jericho to Edge it feels like he lives to screw up anything good that comes about. It’s like watching a 50 Cent video.
Well, we are down to the 20’s for the next time which I hope to have up before next week. Want to do it before Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen which YES I will be seeing because I am hoping beyond hope that Shia LeBeouf with fucking die a gruesome death. Odds are no, though. It’s how my life has gone. Until next time, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Father's Day: Even Child Touching Priests Get A Day?! Wait....
What is up, peeps?! I am back and it is time for the 20 biggest videos on this blue orb we call Earth! Let's get started!
20. May J. featuring DJ Kaori, DIGGY-MO, Clench & Blistah - Garden (Last Week #16)
19. Mihimaru GT - Switch (New Entry)
18. Incubus - Black Heart Inertia (Last Week #14)
17. Shion Tsuji - Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #13, One Week at #1)
16. School Food Punishment - Futuristic Imagination (Last Week #15)
15. YA-KYIM - Tabun Kitto (Last Week #18)
14. Wonder Girls - NOW (Last Week #11, One Week at #1)
13. Chae Yeon - Shake (Last Week #17)
12. Young Money featuring Lil Wayne - Every Girl (Last Week #9)
11. LM.C - PUNKY ❤ HEART (Last Week #20) [Biggest Mover]
10. Kanye West featuring Young Jeezy - Amazing (Last Week #6)
9. SCANDAL - Shojo S (Last Week #12)
8. Stereopony - Seishun Ni Sono Namida Ga Hitsuyou Da! (Last Week #10)
7. YUI - Again (Last Week #2, Two Weeks at #1) [Plunge of the Week]
6. Se7en featuring Lil Kim - Girls (Last Week #8)
5. Abingdon Boys School - JAP (Last Week #4)
4. Ikimonogakari - Futari (Last Week #7)
3. Maxwell - Pretty Wings (Last Week #5)
2. Tohoshinki - Share The World (Last Week #3)
1. 2ne1 - Fire (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
2NE1 made it two straight weeks on top while Tohoshinki rebounds back to the runner-up spot. Maxwell comes in at number three and brings R&B back to the Top Three for the first time since John Legend a few months back. LM.C has made the biggest news, hopping up an astounding NINE SPOTS this week! We also have a debut from the returning Mihimaru GT!
See you in seven to see if 2NE1 can make it three weeks at the top! Or will Tohoshinki take the number one spot for boy bands everywhere? Or can Maxwell make the most of his first ever foray and take the throne?
See you next week, peeps!
Chachi Out!
20. May J. featuring DJ Kaori, DIGGY-MO, Clench & Blistah - Garden (Last Week #16)
19. Mihimaru GT - Switch (New Entry)
18. Incubus - Black Heart Inertia (Last Week #14)
17. Shion Tsuji - Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #13, One Week at #1)
16. School Food Punishment - Futuristic Imagination (Last Week #15)
15. YA-KYIM - Tabun Kitto (Last Week #18)
14. Wonder Girls - NOW (Last Week #11, One Week at #1)
13. Chae Yeon - Shake (Last Week #17)
12. Young Money featuring Lil Wayne - Every Girl (Last Week #9)
11. LM.C - PUNKY ❤ HEART (Last Week #20) [Biggest Mover]
10. Kanye West featuring Young Jeezy - Amazing (Last Week #6)
9. SCANDAL - Shojo S (Last Week #12)
8. Stereopony - Seishun Ni Sono Namida Ga Hitsuyou Da! (Last Week #10)
7. YUI - Again (Last Week #2, Two Weeks at #1) [Plunge of the Week]
6. Se7en featuring Lil Kim - Girls (Last Week #8)
5. Abingdon Boys School - JAP (Last Week #4)
4. Ikimonogakari - Futari (Last Week #7)
3. Maxwell - Pretty Wings (Last Week #5)
2. Tohoshinki - Share The World (Last Week #3)
1. 2ne1 - Fire (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
2NE1 made it two straight weeks on top while Tohoshinki rebounds back to the runner-up spot. Maxwell comes in at number three and brings R&B back to the Top Three for the first time since John Legend a few months back. LM.C has made the biggest news, hopping up an astounding NINE SPOTS this week! We also have a debut from the returning Mihimaru GT!
See you in seven to see if 2NE1 can make it three weeks at the top! Or will Tohoshinki take the number one spot for boy bands everywhere? Or can Maxwell make the most of his first ever foray and take the throne?
See you next week, peeps!
Chachi Out!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Even With All The Bullshit, I STILL Drop Jems Like Jacob The Jeweler!
A little conversation from today...
[20:21] c0mpu73rb0y: There are just too many fucking pictures
[20:21] c0mpu73rb0y: And 70% of them are (to no surprise) of the bride
[20:22] JenovahX80: duh. no one else matters
[20:22] c0mpu73rb0y: Yeah, I know this
[20:23] c0mpu73rb0y: I'm just bitching because I wonder how it is any man would want to go through this shit
[20:23] c0mpu73rb0y: marriage
[20:23] c0mpu73rb0y: And not so much that
[20:23] c0mpu73rb0y: Just the wedding part
[20:24] JenovahX80: because for the most part, men are fucking idiots
[20:25] c0mpu73rb0y: Guys let themselves get into a crazy amount of debt JUST for ONE fucking day that they really don't want to show up for anyway.
[20:26] JenovahX80: dude, men are fucking dumb
[20:26] JenovahX80: only way to explain it
[20:26] JenovahX80: beacuse the logic of it is lost on me
[20:29] JenovahX80: anyway, marriage is like a one sided contract for socks
[20:29] JenovahX80: sure its great to have them, but at the end of the day is it worth signing your life away for a lifetime supply?
[20:29] JenovahX80: when you could just buy them when you need them instead?
[20:29] c0mpu73rb0y: hahahaha
[20:30] c0mpu73rb0y: Best quote EVER
[20:30] JenovahX80: i know, right?
[20:30] JenovahX80: thats going on myspace
And it did. And Blogger, too. Except for Rick; Jen's cool. For everyone else out there...LOVE STINKS! Yeah yeaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!
I'll be back tomorrow, hopefully.
Chachi Out
[20:21] c0mpu73rb0y: There are just too many fucking pictures
[20:21] c0mpu73rb0y: And 70% of them are (to no surprise) of the bride
[20:22] JenovahX80: duh. no one else matters
[20:22] c0mpu73rb0y: Yeah, I know this
[20:23] c0mpu73rb0y: I'm just bitching because I wonder how it is any man would want to go through this shit
[20:23] c0mpu73rb0y: marriage
[20:23] c0mpu73rb0y: And not so much that
[20:23] c0mpu73rb0y: Just the wedding part
[20:24] JenovahX80: because for the most part, men are fucking idiots
[20:25] c0mpu73rb0y: Guys let themselves get into a crazy amount of debt JUST for ONE fucking day that they really don't want to show up for anyway.
[20:26] JenovahX80: dude, men are fucking dumb
[20:26] JenovahX80: only way to explain it
[20:26] JenovahX80: beacuse the logic of it is lost on me
[20:29] JenovahX80: anyway, marriage is like a one sided contract for socks
[20:29] JenovahX80: sure its great to have them, but at the end of the day is it worth signing your life away for a lifetime supply?
[20:29] JenovahX80: when you could just buy them when you need them instead?
[20:29] c0mpu73rb0y: hahahaha
[20:30] c0mpu73rb0y: Best quote EVER
[20:30] JenovahX80: i know, right?
[20:30] JenovahX80: thats going on myspace
And it did. And Blogger, too. Except for Rick; Jen's cool. For everyone else out there...LOVE STINKS! Yeah yeaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!
I'll be back tomorrow, hopefully.
Chachi Out
Monday, June 15, 2009
Just Like Jesus, I Keeps The Party Moving!
What is up, peeps?! Depending on my motivation I am going to start typing and see where I finish. First, I want to continue what I started last week. We have made it into the 40’s of…
101 Things That Piss Me Off!
We are getting closer to the end of this, so let’s keep it moving!
49. Flirty Girl Fitness: Sigh, this is part of the reason that women’s duality equals their lack of progression. Honestly, I think I touched on this prior but it needs to be explained to women that you cannot be so blissfully ignorant and still expect people to give a shit about you or your opinions. Honestly, the next person that I see say this is a good idea but then insult a stripper is getting cunt punched. I may not LIKE rappers but I don’t steal what they do for my own gain. What is even better is you aren’t gaining anything. Being fit? Get married, then it won’t matter anymore. Vanity is the name of a Prince protégé and THAT IS IT. ZING!
48. The Jonas Brothers: I don’t really know of their work but all I know is that I think they suck. Mostly because one of them dumped Miley Cyrus and she will so be my baby boo in 2010. Gotta mess up a Jona Brother for hurting my future baby mama!
47. The Cancellation of Pushing Daisies: WHAT THE FUCK?! I knew this was going to happen and I touched on this before but man…why is this show off the air? Yet “Lost” and “Heroes” are still out there sucking up the airwaves. America, I fucking hate you. There, I said it. This is what you got rid of:
You got rid of Kristin Chenoweth and her fine ass. FUCK YOU, PEOPLE. FUCK YOU AND YOUR ASSHATERY.
46. Saturday Mornings: Remember back when Saturday mornings included multiple bowls of cereal, hours of animated goodness, an hour of Saved By the Bell and Soul Train? Well, those days are over and it pisses me off. Not for me, but for the children. I mean what can we expect for the future if all that is on is kids battling monsters. You wonder how Michael Vick got his ideas? I’ll tell you: Pokemon. Think about it.
45. Popped Collars: God, people are still doing this shit? Only two people can do this: The Fonz and E-40. And aint none of you the Sultan of Cool or 40 Water so STOP IT NOW. Before I staple the collar to your fucking shoulders to keep it there.
44. Green Day: Take U2, divide the talent in half and divide the pretentiousness by about ½ and you have Green Day. God, I have never been a fan but when people TELL me I should like them because of…some unexplained reason that only Rolling Stone and MTV know I have a huge problem. “Dookie” is a long time ago.
43. KAT-TUN: Okay, I really dig American boy bands but Japanese boy bands really arent my cup of tea. Which is shocking because Tohoshinki and even SMAP is good (Albeit in small doses). Something about having your own cartoon and not being MC Hammer kind of turns me off. That and I hate the three songs I have heard from them.
42. Greenpeace: I swear, you little shits make me want to find the first baby seal I see and fuck it WHILE I club it. I am so sick of you motherfuckers stopping me on the 16th Street Mall asking me if I give a shit about the endangered species de jour. Fuck you and fuck the cute little animals. Let’s try saving hip hop first. Then I will give a fuck about the star-bellied sneetches you brain-dead fuckwits.
41. Magic Johnson: My god, you make basketball unberable. If John Madden had an equally stupid Blackbrother with the uncanny ability to not only restate the obvious but butcher the most simple analysis and add in the most nonsensical input since the fucker who desided it was a good idea to let Craig Ehlo guard MJ one on one…it would be Magic Johnson.
40. ESPN: To go along with the previous point, ESPN has gone from somewhat entertaining to so full of itself I get more sports information from Stephen Colbert. I don’t understand how a network so dedicated to sports can only really focus on…one channel set. It seems like everything is on ABC or ESPN sports-wise and if you arent on those networks then you don’t really exist. I got more NHL coverage from the Canadian clerk at the 7/11 than I did from ESPN and he even has a strong ass mullet to make it all authentic. And I got a half-priced Red Bull once. ESPN has its favorites and that is fine but just sit back and say it. You are LOCATED in New England and you support New England sports teams. Call it like it is. More on Bawston later…fuckers.
Well, I need to head out as I work today…and have to be up in like 5 hours so I am out for now. I will try to get to the 20’s by Friday and get to the Top 10 by next week. Stay tuned, peeps! Also, depending on the bus ride I may do a blog this week at some time. Copper kind of lit a fire under my ass and it has been about two months since I have done one. So look forward to that (Maybe) and I will be back soon.
Chachi Out
101 Things That Piss Me Off!
We are getting closer to the end of this, so let’s keep it moving!
49. Flirty Girl Fitness: Sigh, this is part of the reason that women’s duality equals their lack of progression. Honestly, I think I touched on this prior but it needs to be explained to women that you cannot be so blissfully ignorant and still expect people to give a shit about you or your opinions. Honestly, the next person that I see say this is a good idea but then insult a stripper is getting cunt punched. I may not LIKE rappers but I don’t steal what they do for my own gain. What is even better is you aren’t gaining anything. Being fit? Get married, then it won’t matter anymore. Vanity is the name of a Prince protégé and THAT IS IT. ZING!
48. The Jonas Brothers: I don’t really know of their work but all I know is that I think they suck. Mostly because one of them dumped Miley Cyrus and she will so be my baby boo in 2010. Gotta mess up a Jona Brother for hurting my future baby mama!
47. The Cancellation of Pushing Daisies: WHAT THE FUCK?! I knew this was going to happen and I touched on this before but man…why is this show off the air? Yet “Lost” and “Heroes” are still out there sucking up the airwaves. America, I fucking hate you. There, I said it. This is what you got rid of:
You got rid of Kristin Chenoweth and her fine ass. FUCK YOU, PEOPLE. FUCK YOU AND YOUR ASSHATERY.
46. Saturday Mornings: Remember back when Saturday mornings included multiple bowls of cereal, hours of animated goodness, an hour of Saved By the Bell and Soul Train? Well, those days are over and it pisses me off. Not for me, but for the children. I mean what can we expect for the future if all that is on is kids battling monsters. You wonder how Michael Vick got his ideas? I’ll tell you: Pokemon. Think about it.
45. Popped Collars: God, people are still doing this shit? Only two people can do this: The Fonz and E-40. And aint none of you the Sultan of Cool or 40 Water so STOP IT NOW. Before I staple the collar to your fucking shoulders to keep it there.
44. Green Day: Take U2, divide the talent in half and divide the pretentiousness by about ½ and you have Green Day. God, I have never been a fan but when people TELL me I should like them because of…some unexplained reason that only Rolling Stone and MTV know I have a huge problem. “Dookie” is a long time ago.
43. KAT-TUN: Okay, I really dig American boy bands but Japanese boy bands really arent my cup of tea. Which is shocking because Tohoshinki and even SMAP is good (Albeit in small doses). Something about having your own cartoon and not being MC Hammer kind of turns me off. That and I hate the three songs I have heard from them.
42. Greenpeace: I swear, you little shits make me want to find the first baby seal I see and fuck it WHILE I club it. I am so sick of you motherfuckers stopping me on the 16th Street Mall asking me if I give a shit about the endangered species de jour. Fuck you and fuck the cute little animals. Let’s try saving hip hop first. Then I will give a fuck about the star-bellied sneetches you brain-dead fuckwits.
41. Magic Johnson: My god, you make basketball unberable. If John Madden had an equally stupid Blackbrother with the uncanny ability to not only restate the obvious but butcher the most simple analysis and add in the most nonsensical input since the fucker who desided it was a good idea to let Craig Ehlo guard MJ one on one…it would be Magic Johnson.
40. ESPN: To go along with the previous point, ESPN has gone from somewhat entertaining to so full of itself I get more sports information from Stephen Colbert. I don’t understand how a network so dedicated to sports can only really focus on…one channel set. It seems like everything is on ABC or ESPN sports-wise and if you arent on those networks then you don’t really exist. I got more NHL coverage from the Canadian clerk at the 7/11 than I did from ESPN and he even has a strong ass mullet to make it all authentic. And I got a half-priced Red Bull once. ESPN has its favorites and that is fine but just sit back and say it. You are LOCATED in New England and you support New England sports teams. Call it like it is. More on Bawston later…fuckers.
Well, I need to head out as I work today…and have to be up in like 5 hours so I am out for now. I will try to get to the 20’s by Friday and get to the Top 10 by next week. Stay tuned, peeps! Also, depending on the bus ride I may do a blog this week at some time. Copper kind of lit a fire under my ass and it has been about two months since I have done one. So look forward to that (Maybe) and I will be back soon.
Chachi Out
Friday, June 12, 2009
Another Friday, Another Spazz Out...
Okay, peeps I am back for another week and another countdown of the twenty biggest videos on the planet! Here we go!
20. LM.C - PUNKY ❤ HEART (New Entry)
19. BoA featuring Sean Garrett - I Did It For Love (Last Week #15, Three Weeks at #1)
18. YA-KYIM - Tabun Kitto (New Entry)
17. Chae Yeon - Shake (Last Week #20)
16. May J. featuring DJ Kaori, DIGGY-MO, Clench & Blistah - Garden (Last Week #12)
15. School Food Punishment - Futuristic Imagination (Last Week #18)
14. Incubus - Black Heart Inertia (Last Week #14)
13. Shion Tsuji - Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #10, One Week at #1)
12. SCANDAL - Shojo S (Last Week #16) [Biggest Mover]
11. Wonder Girls - NOW (Last Week #8, One Week at #1)
10. Stereopony - Seishun Ni Sono Namida Ga Hitsuyou Da! (Last Week #13)
9. Young Money featuring Lil Wayne - Every Girl (Last Week #6)
8. Se7en featuring Lil Kim - Girls (Last Week #11)
7. Ikimonogakari - Futari (Last Week #9)
6. Kanye West featuring Young Jeezy - Amazing (Last Week #3)
5. Maxwell - Pretty Wings (Last Week #7)
4. Abingdon Boys School - JAP (Last Week #5)
3. Tohoshinki - Share The World (Last Week #2)
2. YUI - Again (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
1. 2ne1 - Fire (Last Week #4, One Week at #1)
As you can see, YUI's reign is over! After two weeks on top, she is taken down by the upstart 2NE1! DSKB (I think that's right...one of their TEN NAMES) falls a spot to number three after being leapfrogged. We have a first time entry for LM.C (HELLS YEAH!) and the return of YA-KYIM! They already have two number one videos in 2009, can they make it three? Se7en returns to the Top 10 for the first time since 2006 while Shion Tsuji and BoA look to be on their way off the Countdown after more than six months of hanging on.
Well, I will see you next week to see if 2NE1 can make it two weeks on top or if YUI can rebound and take back her throne. Or can Abingdon Boys School return to the top? See you in seven!
Chachi Out
20. LM.C - PUNKY ❤ HEART (New Entry)
19. BoA featuring Sean Garrett - I Did It For Love (Last Week #15, Three Weeks at #1)
18. YA-KYIM - Tabun Kitto (New Entry)
17. Chae Yeon - Shake (Last Week #20)
16. May J. featuring DJ Kaori, DIGGY-MO, Clench & Blistah - Garden (Last Week #12)
15. School Food Punishment - Futuristic Imagination (Last Week #18)
14. Incubus - Black Heart Inertia (Last Week #14)
13. Shion Tsuji - Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #10, One Week at #1)
12. SCANDAL - Shojo S (Last Week #16) [Biggest Mover]
11. Wonder Girls - NOW (Last Week #8, One Week at #1)
10. Stereopony - Seishun Ni Sono Namida Ga Hitsuyou Da! (Last Week #13)
9. Young Money featuring Lil Wayne - Every Girl (Last Week #6)
8. Se7en featuring Lil Kim - Girls (Last Week #11)
7. Ikimonogakari - Futari (Last Week #9)
6. Kanye West featuring Young Jeezy - Amazing (Last Week #3)
5. Maxwell - Pretty Wings (Last Week #7)
4. Abingdon Boys School - JAP (Last Week #5)
3. Tohoshinki - Share The World (Last Week #2)
2. YUI - Again (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
1. 2ne1 - Fire (Last Week #4, One Week at #1)
As you can see, YUI's reign is over! After two weeks on top, she is taken down by the upstart 2NE1! DSKB (I think that's right...one of their TEN NAMES) falls a spot to number three after being leapfrogged. We have a first time entry for LM.C (HELLS YEAH!) and the return of YA-KYIM! They already have two number one videos in 2009, can they make it three? Se7en returns to the Top 10 for the first time since 2006 while Shion Tsuji and BoA look to be on their way off the Countdown after more than six months of hanging on.
Well, I will see you next week to see if 2NE1 can make it two weeks on top or if YUI can rebound and take back her throne. Or can Abingdon Boys School return to the top? See you in seven!
Chachi Out
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Just Like The Real 50's, Kind Of A Lull...
Okay, I am back. I haven’t been up since last Wednesday (I believe, last week was kind of rough) for which I feel kind of bad. However, I am tired as hell right now after having to be in Denver for work at 7am but that once again is life. So with that being said, I guess it would be best to begin with this: CHAE YEON IS DAMN FINE:
Hells yeah. All I have to say. Now that I have that out of the way. Wait, let me watch that again. Okay…I think I’m good. So it is time for good stuff! Here is the next installment of…
101 Things That Piss Me Off!
We have made it into the 50’s! Shouldn’t I be at the back of the blog? ZING!
59. People With Their Feet Out The Window When Driving: Yeah, this shit is fucking disgusting. If you do this, I hope you get AIDS of the feet. Assholes.
58. American Idol: Now I haven’t watched a full season of this show since Ruben Studdard and after Daughtry didn’t win I decided that the world was fucked up anyway but has any redeeming quality come from this show? I mean I haven’t been entertained since I was confused about Clay Aiken and what the hell he was. Oh, and the answer was gay. I SO CALLED IT! Anyway, this show sucks now.
57. Narutards: Okay, I am as much of a Naruto fan as anyone else. I stopped watching the show after a while because there was more filler than killer and it is so far behind the manga that it isn’t even funny anymore but my issue is with the fans under the age of 17. I mean…do NOT WEAR THE PUSSY DEFLECTORS AND BY ALL MEANS DO NOT DO JUITSUS IN PUBLIC! You make us all look bad. Just…stop. Unless you are a hot Sakura. Then you can do what you want…to me, anyway.
56. WNBA: Okay, if there is nothing on I have tested my tolerance and I can watch about 12 minutes of women’s’ college basketball, including commercials. It is actually enjoyable to watch in short intervals. In no way do I LIKE it, but it is entertaining. But the WNBA…I have no idea what happens when women go pro but man they just stop giving a shit. It is the most god awful sport since sloth wrangling. Yes they are athletes and YES they are better than me at basketball but they are supposed to be. They are also entertainers and they fail at that because I have no idea who their fans are but I don’t know any.
55. Butt Secks: …Yeah, I am just going to say never again. All that results is tears and an awkward next 30 minutes.
54. Push Up Bras: Okay, I understand the need for a woman to feel “pretty” because…well, you are just like that. Which is fine, I like to feel pretty as well. But let’s face it here; the need for the push-up bra died the day I saw Yoobin from the Wonder Girls:
My god…MOAR. If she doesn’t need one then neither do you, ladies. Cuz aint none of you Yoobin. She’s so…so…so…hot, hot. REFERENCE!
53. Vintage Tees: Okay, just iron your fucking shirt. How can a vintage tee shirt be something YOU JUST FUCKING BOUGHT FROM THE DOUCHE STORE? Gee, vintage tee shirt with The White Stripes or Axe Body Spray on it? Yeah, real vintage fucky.
52. Health Insurance: Biggest racket in fucking America. Such damn bullshit that you have to pay for shit in case it happens and when it DOES happen they say…nah, not today. Fuckers.
51. Bubsy 3D: WORST. GAME. EVER.
Well, maybe not THE worst but boy is it close. More on the worst game ever later on.
50. Alternative Rock: Alice In Chains. Pearl Jam. Soundgarden. Sonic Youth. A host of others (Minus Nirvana). Back in the 90’s, alt rock was awesome. As a Black (I think that’s what we are called now) I wasn’t really allowed to be a fan but I didn’t care. Since then we had Candlebox, Cracker, Filter and some other smaller named bands but for the most part once Marcy Playground hit the world of alt rock went to shit. Where has it gone? The closest we have to it now is fucking Simple Plan and aside from ONE SONG they suck ass. It’s getting rather disheartening. And to the first person that says Nickelback is to the first person whose cat will get facefucked. I am so cereal.
Well, that is all for today. I will be back up hopefully on Wednesday with the 40’s. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Hells yeah. All I have to say. Now that I have that out of the way. Wait, let me watch that again. Okay…I think I’m good. So it is time for good stuff! Here is the next installment of…
101 Things That Piss Me Off!
We have made it into the 50’s! Shouldn’t I be at the back of the blog? ZING!
59. People With Their Feet Out The Window When Driving: Yeah, this shit is fucking disgusting. If you do this, I hope you get AIDS of the feet. Assholes.
58. American Idol: Now I haven’t watched a full season of this show since Ruben Studdard and after Daughtry didn’t win I decided that the world was fucked up anyway but has any redeeming quality come from this show? I mean I haven’t been entertained since I was confused about Clay Aiken and what the hell he was. Oh, and the answer was gay. I SO CALLED IT! Anyway, this show sucks now.
57. Narutards: Okay, I am as much of a Naruto fan as anyone else. I stopped watching the show after a while because there was more filler than killer and it is so far behind the manga that it isn’t even funny anymore but my issue is with the fans under the age of 17. I mean…do NOT WEAR THE PUSSY DEFLECTORS AND BY ALL MEANS DO NOT DO JUITSUS IN PUBLIC! You make us all look bad. Just…stop. Unless you are a hot Sakura. Then you can do what you want…to me, anyway.
56. WNBA: Okay, if there is nothing on I have tested my tolerance and I can watch about 12 minutes of women’s’ college basketball, including commercials. It is actually enjoyable to watch in short intervals. In no way do I LIKE it, but it is entertaining. But the WNBA…I have no idea what happens when women go pro but man they just stop giving a shit. It is the most god awful sport since sloth wrangling. Yes they are athletes and YES they are better than me at basketball but they are supposed to be. They are also entertainers and they fail at that because I have no idea who their fans are but I don’t know any.
55. Butt Secks: …Yeah, I am just going to say never again. All that results is tears and an awkward next 30 minutes.
54. Push Up Bras: Okay, I understand the need for a woman to feel “pretty” because…well, you are just like that. Which is fine, I like to feel pretty as well. But let’s face it here; the need for the push-up bra died the day I saw Yoobin from the Wonder Girls:
My god…MOAR. If she doesn’t need one then neither do you, ladies. Cuz aint none of you Yoobin. She’s so…so…so…hot, hot. REFERENCE!
53. Vintage Tees: Okay, just iron your fucking shirt. How can a vintage tee shirt be something YOU JUST FUCKING BOUGHT FROM THE DOUCHE STORE? Gee, vintage tee shirt with The White Stripes or Axe Body Spray on it? Yeah, real vintage fucky.
52. Health Insurance: Biggest racket in fucking America. Such damn bullshit that you have to pay for shit in case it happens and when it DOES happen they say…nah, not today. Fuckers.
51. Bubsy 3D: WORST. GAME. EVER.
Well, maybe not THE worst but boy is it close. More on the worst game ever later on.
50. Alternative Rock: Alice In Chains. Pearl Jam. Soundgarden. Sonic Youth. A host of others (Minus Nirvana). Back in the 90’s, alt rock was awesome. As a Black (I think that’s what we are called now) I wasn’t really allowed to be a fan but I didn’t care. Since then we had Candlebox, Cracker, Filter and some other smaller named bands but for the most part once Marcy Playground hit the world of alt rock went to shit. Where has it gone? The closest we have to it now is fucking Simple Plan and aside from ONE SONG they suck ass. It’s getting rather disheartening. And to the first person that says Nickelback is to the first person whose cat will get facefucked. I am so cereal.
Well, that is all for today. I will be back up hopefully on Wednesday with the 40’s. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Monday, June 08, 2009
God, Mondays STILL SUCK.
What is up, peeps! Once again I totally spaced on this but I have it up a tad bit late. It is time for...
Chachi's Top 20 Video Countdown!
Now that it is on YouTube I have been slacking on the post but I will make sure I have it up by Saturday. And away we go!
20. Chae Yeon - Shake (New Entry)
19. Jesse McCartney featuring Ludacris - How Do You Sleep (Last Week #15, One Week at #1)
18. School Food Punishment - Futuristic Imagination (New Entry)
17. Pitbull - I Know You Want Me [Calle Ocho] (Last Week #14)
16. SCANDAL - Shojo S (Last Week #20)
15. BoA featuring Sean Garrett - I Did It For Love (Last Week #9, Three Weeks at #1)[Plunge of the Week]
14. Incubus - Black Heart Inertia (Last Week #16)
13. Stereopony - Seishun Ni Sono Namida Ga Hitsuyou Da! (Last Week #18)
12. May J. featuring DJ Kaori, DIGGY-MO, Clench & Blistah - Garden (Last Week #10)
11. Se7en featuring Lil Kim - Girls (Last Week #13)
10. Shion Tsuji - Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #8, One Week at #1)
9. Ikimonogakari - Futari (Last Week #12)
8. Wonder Girls - NOW (Last Week #3, One Week at #1)[Plunge of the Week]
7. Maxwell - Pretty Wings (Last Week #11)
6. Young Money featuring Lil Wayne - Every Girl (Last Week #4)
5. Abingdon Boys School - JAP (Last Week #6)
4. 2ne1 - Fire (Last Week #7)
3. Kanye West featuring Young Jeezy - Amazing (Last Week #2)
2. Tohoshinki - Share The World (Last Week #5)
1. YUI - Again (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
YUI is on top once again with Tohoshinki and Kanye West on her heels! Maxwell and Stereopony are both looking very good right now as well. Tune in this Friday (Maybe Saturday, depending on if I stay in Denver or not) to see if YUI can make it three weeks in a row on top!
I will have another post up shortly. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Chachi's Top 20 Video Countdown!
Now that it is on YouTube I have been slacking on the post but I will make sure I have it up by Saturday. And away we go!
20. Chae Yeon - Shake (New Entry)
19. Jesse McCartney featuring Ludacris - How Do You Sleep (Last Week #15, One Week at #1)
18. School Food Punishment - Futuristic Imagination (New Entry)
17. Pitbull - I Know You Want Me [Calle Ocho] (Last Week #14)
16. SCANDAL - Shojo S (Last Week #20)
15. BoA featuring Sean Garrett - I Did It For Love (Last Week #9, Three Weeks at #1)[Plunge of the Week]
14. Incubus - Black Heart Inertia (Last Week #16)
13. Stereopony - Seishun Ni Sono Namida Ga Hitsuyou Da! (Last Week #18)
12. May J. featuring DJ Kaori, DIGGY-MO, Clench & Blistah - Garden (Last Week #10)
11. Se7en featuring Lil Kim - Girls (Last Week #13)
10. Shion Tsuji - Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #8, One Week at #1)
9. Ikimonogakari - Futari (Last Week #12)
8. Wonder Girls - NOW (Last Week #3, One Week at #1)[Plunge of the Week]
7. Maxwell - Pretty Wings (Last Week #11)
6. Young Money featuring Lil Wayne - Every Girl (Last Week #4)
5. Abingdon Boys School - JAP (Last Week #6)
4. 2ne1 - Fire (Last Week #7)
3. Kanye West featuring Young Jeezy - Amazing (Last Week #2)
2. Tohoshinki - Share The World (Last Week #5)
1. YUI - Again (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
YUI is on top once again with Tohoshinki and Kanye West on her heels! Maxwell and Stereopony are both looking very good right now as well. Tune in this Friday (Maybe Saturday, depending on if I stay in Denver or not) to see if YUI can make it three weeks in a row on top!
I will have another post up shortly. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
God, This Is Going To Be The Most Annoying Week Ever.
Well, I am back! Decided to keep the party going and give you the wild and crazy sixties of…
101 Things That Piss Me Off!
Here we go with 69-60…
69. Kurt Cobain: Okay, you all know I am a firm believer in to each their own. If you think that a minimally talented, mush mouthed, incoherent, drug addicted pointless songwriter is the voice of your generation and one of the best artists of all time then that is quite alright. You would be a fucking dumbass, though. I never thought Kurt Cobain was that good NOR that talented. He was a change of pace from the 80’s hair bands and people latched on to him like he was the next fucking Jimi Hendrix. He wasn’t even the next Bobby Jimmy & The Critters:
Heh, that song makes me smile. On the other hand, Kurt Cobain fans make me want to Cobain them. Too soon? Naaah.
68. Mode 7: You Nintendo fans remember this bullshit. “Whoa! I can turn the screen 360 degrees! GREATEST ADVANCEMENT IN CONSOLE GAMING EVER!” Fuck you, Nintendo fans. Mode 7 was just simple technique of texture mapping that allows rotation and scaling. You can do the shit in PowerPoint. Besides, nothing compares to BLAST PROCESSING!
Sega does what Ninten-don’t, mofos! GENESIS 4 LIFE!
67. SMART Cars: I hate those little fuckers. If the Prius made me want to kill the owner, the Smart car makes me want to rape their cat in front of them. Then kill them. Then eat a breakfast burrito. I like those. But mostly kill them.
66. BET: Man…no. Remember back when BET not only played videos, but GOOD videos? Whatever happened to LeVert?! What about some Troop or Anita Baker?! Now I have to hear about some trifling ass niggas talking about “Booty Doo” and “Whooty” and I say niggas fuck up everything. There, I said it. Remember “Generations”?! BRING BACK VIDEO SOUL! Or Rachel on Caribbean Rhythms. Damn, she was fine. Lordhavmercy!
65. Flirty Girl Fitness: Okay, let me get this straight. Women want to dance like a stripper but not be called one? Really? See, this is why women never get anywhere. Your simple asses are self-defeating. I swear, niggas and women need to have a convention and talk about their stupidity because that makes no sense. At what point is marketing dancing like a stripper but not being one seen as fucking sane? It’s like if I started the “Hood Life Workout Plan” and had you get skinny by running from the police and smacking up women for not having “yo money” and not admitting that it’s the stupidest idea since wildebeest flavored lion cage cleaner outfits. God, I hate women.
64. Stopping to shoot in the Resident Evil Series: Not as much as I hate this bullshit. If zombies are coming at your ass at what point do you stop? “ONOZ, ZAWBEEZ! I NEED 2 PWN DEM BUTT FURST I MUST STAWP AND FYRE! NOZ BITING! EPIC ZAWBEEZ FAIL!” Yeah, that’s what it sounds like I’m sure. This series has been out for at least 10 plus years and Capcom hasn’t gotten it through their thick ass skulls that it is more effective to MOVE when zombies are coming at you? What the flying fuck?! I guess it is to be expected from a company that couldn’t count to fucking FOUR for years. Asshats.
63. Virgin Mary: Riiiight. It’s one of the catalysts for my hatred of Christians. Just admit that Joseph knocked that bitch up. OR more than likely she was fucking around and she said “I wasn’t cheating! It’s…um…GOD’S BABY!” Now God can’t fight the allegations or even take a paternity test because I am sure back then they didn’t have the pissing strip yet. So she got off scot free for being a skank. Yep, if you are Christian and you are offended I have done my job. She wasn’t a virgin and Jesus wasn’t the son or lamb or veal of God. Just a mouthy Jew with improbable, impeccable hygiene despite the horrible conditions of early Jerusalem. More on HIM later. Oh yeah, you know Jesus is getting his. BUT WHEN?!
62. Ron Artest: Now don’t get me wrong. I loves me a good basketball fight because for the most part they are overpaid queers (Tell me Dwayne Wade and Kobe Bryant aren’t taking it to the hole…ON EACH OTHER! I’m naughty!) that slap at each other until the refs break it up like 6 year old girls before they find out that nails are weapons and that rules are for breaking. Ron Artest fucked all that up by actually FIGHTING SOMEONE. A fan no less. Now I believe it was Stephen Jackson who clocked the shit out of that one dude (Which was well deserved. Stay off the court) but it was Ron Artest and his Mastery of Niggerdom that made the NBA what it is today: Black dudes in suits NOT going to court. Unless you are Kobe. I TOLD YOU he tried to put it in that White girls’ butt! He likes that shit!
61. Furrs Cafeteria: My god, that place was disgusting. I went twice and both times I felt like I was gnawing on mushy paste disguised as food. I mean had they never heard of salt or pepper?! I know it was the elderly version of hanging out at The Icon (Remember that hellhole, CSPeeps?) or Rumbay’s (Ugh…I just threw up) but some of us go to enjoy a meal. Not soylent green shaped to look like meatloaf. Wait a minute…IT’S PEOPLE! That explains a lot because people suck.
60. Japanese porn: I don’t get how a country that has tentacle rape candy stores mosaics out the good parts of porn. I mean come the fuck on! I love me some Aoi Sora but how can I get to KNOW her if I can’t SEE her. Or inside of her, as the case may be in this statement. That’s how you see her personality, perverts! Either way, I mean there are a LOT worse things coming out of Japan, most involving enough sperm to impregnate Mothra and yet the vag is blurred out? Man, Japan loses a lot of points on that one. Could be for the best, though. Some of those women look like they have OJ Simpson from Naked Gun between their legs. Go watch the flashback scene and it will make sense. I’ll wait. See? HILARIOUS!
Well, I am out for now. Maybe a re-post tomorrow and then the Countdown on Friday (I still have to work on it. Takes shorter now that I have gotten a handle on the software). I am staying in Denver to see “The Hangover” but anyone down for “Land of the Lost” on Saturday let me know. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
101 Things That Piss Me Off!
Here we go with 69-60…
69. Kurt Cobain: Okay, you all know I am a firm believer in to each their own. If you think that a minimally talented, mush mouthed, incoherent, drug addicted pointless songwriter is the voice of your generation and one of the best artists of all time then that is quite alright. You would be a fucking dumbass, though. I never thought Kurt Cobain was that good NOR that talented. He was a change of pace from the 80’s hair bands and people latched on to him like he was the next fucking Jimi Hendrix. He wasn’t even the next Bobby Jimmy & The Critters:
Heh, that song makes me smile. On the other hand, Kurt Cobain fans make me want to Cobain them. Too soon? Naaah.
68. Mode 7: You Nintendo fans remember this bullshit. “Whoa! I can turn the screen 360 degrees! GREATEST ADVANCEMENT IN CONSOLE GAMING EVER!” Fuck you, Nintendo fans. Mode 7 was just simple technique of texture mapping that allows rotation and scaling. You can do the shit in PowerPoint. Besides, nothing compares to BLAST PROCESSING!
Sega does what Ninten-don’t, mofos! GENESIS 4 LIFE!
67. SMART Cars: I hate those little fuckers. If the Prius made me want to kill the owner, the Smart car makes me want to rape their cat in front of them. Then kill them. Then eat a breakfast burrito. I like those. But mostly kill them.
66. BET: Man…no. Remember back when BET not only played videos, but GOOD videos? Whatever happened to LeVert?! What about some Troop or Anita Baker?! Now I have to hear about some trifling ass niggas talking about “Booty Doo” and “Whooty” and I say niggas fuck up everything. There, I said it. Remember “Generations”?! BRING BACK VIDEO SOUL! Or Rachel on Caribbean Rhythms. Damn, she was fine. Lordhavmercy!
65. Flirty Girl Fitness: Okay, let me get this straight. Women want to dance like a stripper but not be called one? Really? See, this is why women never get anywhere. Your simple asses are self-defeating. I swear, niggas and women need to have a convention and talk about their stupidity because that makes no sense. At what point is marketing dancing like a stripper but not being one seen as fucking sane? It’s like if I started the “Hood Life Workout Plan” and had you get skinny by running from the police and smacking up women for not having “yo money” and not admitting that it’s the stupidest idea since wildebeest flavored lion cage cleaner outfits. God, I hate women.
64. Stopping to shoot in the Resident Evil Series: Not as much as I hate this bullshit. If zombies are coming at your ass at what point do you stop? “ONOZ, ZAWBEEZ! I NEED 2 PWN DEM BUTT FURST I MUST STAWP AND FYRE! NOZ BITING! EPIC ZAWBEEZ FAIL!” Yeah, that’s what it sounds like I’m sure. This series has been out for at least 10 plus years and Capcom hasn’t gotten it through their thick ass skulls that it is more effective to MOVE when zombies are coming at you? What the flying fuck?! I guess it is to be expected from a company that couldn’t count to fucking FOUR for years. Asshats.
63. Virgin Mary: Riiiight. It’s one of the catalysts for my hatred of Christians. Just admit that Joseph knocked that bitch up. OR more than likely she was fucking around and she said “I wasn’t cheating! It’s…um…GOD’S BABY!” Now God can’t fight the allegations or even take a paternity test because I am sure back then they didn’t have the pissing strip yet. So she got off scot free for being a skank. Yep, if you are Christian and you are offended I have done my job. She wasn’t a virgin and Jesus wasn’t the son or lamb or veal of God. Just a mouthy Jew with improbable, impeccable hygiene despite the horrible conditions of early Jerusalem. More on HIM later. Oh yeah, you know Jesus is getting his. BUT WHEN?!
62. Ron Artest: Now don’t get me wrong. I loves me a good basketball fight because for the most part they are overpaid queers (Tell me Dwayne Wade and Kobe Bryant aren’t taking it to the hole…ON EACH OTHER! I’m naughty!) that slap at each other until the refs break it up like 6 year old girls before they find out that nails are weapons and that rules are for breaking. Ron Artest fucked all that up by actually FIGHTING SOMEONE. A fan no less. Now I believe it was Stephen Jackson who clocked the shit out of that one dude (Which was well deserved. Stay off the court) but it was Ron Artest and his Mastery of Niggerdom that made the NBA what it is today: Black dudes in suits NOT going to court. Unless you are Kobe. I TOLD YOU he tried to put it in that White girls’ butt! He likes that shit!
61. Furrs Cafeteria: My god, that place was disgusting. I went twice and both times I felt like I was gnawing on mushy paste disguised as food. I mean had they never heard of salt or pepper?! I know it was the elderly version of hanging out at The Icon (Remember that hellhole, CSPeeps?) or Rumbay’s (Ugh…I just threw up) but some of us go to enjoy a meal. Not soylent green shaped to look like meatloaf. Wait a minute…IT’S PEOPLE! That explains a lot because people suck.
60. Japanese porn: I don’t get how a country that has tentacle rape candy stores mosaics out the good parts of porn. I mean come the fuck on! I love me some Aoi Sora but how can I get to KNOW her if I can’t SEE her. Or inside of her, as the case may be in this statement. That’s how you see her personality, perverts! Either way, I mean there are a LOT worse things coming out of Japan, most involving enough sperm to impregnate Mothra and yet the vag is blurred out? Man, Japan loses a lot of points on that one. Could be for the best, though. Some of those women look like they have OJ Simpson from Naked Gun between their legs. Go watch the flashback scene and it will make sense. I’ll wait. See? HILARIOUS!
Well, I am out for now. Maybe a re-post tomorrow and then the Countdown on Friday (I still have to work on it. Takes shorter now that I have gotten a handle on the software). I am staying in Denver to see “The Hangover” but anyone down for “Land of the Lost” on Saturday let me know. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Monday, June 01, 2009
Africans: Solving Crimes By Dinner Time!
What is up, peeps! I am back on the scene after a hiatus and despite the crapitude that was last week I am back up and ready to drop another post. Still ready to get out, but now I am not as pissed.
First things first: The #1 Ladies Detective Agency is fucking awesome. Two episodes in and I am rather hooked. I mean it has:
• Africans: It is based in Botswana which oddly enough DOES look like New Mexico but it IS filmed at least mostly in Africa because aint that many Black people in Albuquerque> I’ve been…and there are six.
• Jill Scott: And yo thick, fine self. It would be like Gojira vs. Juggernaught, but man I would wreck that like Angel Grove the episode before the Power Rangers get new Zords.
Anyone remember Ninjor? HE WAS SO GAY!
• A Black Child Named Wellington: Someone at work put it best. There are some names of children that just MEANS they will grow up to be a badass. Coletrain Washington is one. Wellington is another. That kid is going to smash heads like the Hulk.
• Gay Africans: Every show needs a gay hair dresser and damn it, this one is no different. As one who has dressed hair (I’m fierce, bitches!) I must say it doesn’t MEAN you are gay but all signs point to yes. Except for me, I’m a man boy. Check out this bandana! It’s festive! I mean…yeah, festive. *Sigh* I stay straight until Zac Efron comes out. Then we can be happy. I FUCKING KID!
• Kick Ass Soundtrack: Not since the soundtrack for 90210 came out have I been this pumped up about music on a TV show:
I love that song still. Anyway, African music (Behind J-Pop, K-Pop and Indian) has been one of my global pleasures while driving. Once the soundtrack for this show comes out I will be the first person to buy it.
Add in the fact that I haven’t seen a single White person yet and you have the best show on TV! Don’t get me wrong, White people. You are the White light in my Black life and you smell like oatmeal raisin cookies and lavender. However in a show about Africans, I have no desire to see your pale asses anywhere. It is like watching “Dukes of Hazzard” or “Newhart” and seeing Black people. You know it is!
Anyway, now that I have offended all of my readership except for Asians and Guatemalans, let us wrap this up, shall we? It is time for installment five of…like….seventy of:
101 Things That Piss Me Off!
We are now in the 70’s! Get down tonight!
79. ABC: Let me get this straight, American Broadcasting Company. You cancel “Pushing Daisies” and (supposedly) “Better Off Ted” and almost drop “Scrubs” after one season yet you keep on shit like “Lost” and “Dancing With The Stars?” Really? I think this is more a reflection on the dumbification of America as a whole but man, your network fucking sucks. And get rid of “Desperate Housewives” so Eva Longoria can go somewhere and die, already! I hate that bitch.
78. Clear Heels: You know, we all know that stripper wear them, and that is cool. But the influx of women in the general population wearing them is like regular people wearing purple hats with feathers in them. Some things belong to the uniform and if you wear it then you are one. There, I said it. You wear clear heels then you are a stripper. Odds are, poorly paid compared to the real ones.
77. John Madden: I so fucking hate you. Aside from the fact that your game has been the same game for the last 15 fucking years or so but you are the most idiotic man on TV since Sinbad. I mean after “First Kid” Sinbad. That’s when he was funny. Dudes be like zombies at the mall! Priceless!
76. Twitter: No one gives a fuck about you. No one. You aren’t any more special than the homeless dude that just pissed his pants and I am sure he has better insight on the world than you do…because he is fucking nuts. You, on the other hand are a fucking douche.
75. Nick Cannon: Yeah, I thought he would be higher, too. I guess that after a while the hatred goes away. That and “Love Don’t Cost A Thing” wasn’t THAT bad. Okay, it was but with Christina Milian and Melissa Schuman in it…I’m okay with that.
74. Tony Yayo: What the fuck? This guy is garbage. It is proof that niggas are dumb and they stick together. If you like Tony Yayo you need to be shot in the balls because all you will do is make more ignorant ass niggas which means I have to hear “So Seductive” blaring out of your fucking Caprice.
73. Bunnies: Another pet that isn’t a pet. There is a reason there is a book of ways to kill the little bastards: because they are fucking worthless. I have seen freckles with more purpose than a bunny.
72. Florida Gators: You know, I think it is more that I hate Steve Spurrier than hating the Florida Gators. As a Georgia native I think it is the law to hate them (Got my handbook in 1997. Also said I have to hate Lynard Skynard because they are from Alabama but they already suck ass so I didn’t need a book to tell me that shit. GET SOME!) but I will say that Tim Tebow is in good need of an ass kicking. I hate players that thank god for their abilities when it is SCIENCE that gives you the proteins and hormones you jack up with. That and the BCS being slanted to the SEC and Big-12 but that is later on.
71. Blu-Ray Porn: Let me understand this. You want me to pay $20 more for porn that shows the IMPERPECTIONS of my favorite pornstars? Hells no! I try to avoid the fact that Jasmine Byrne’s or Asa Akira’s vagina looks like it was ransacked by the Horde in Halo Wars. I don’t need it in 1080p resolution. Crazy High Definition is making my penis soft!
70. Lossless Files: Okay, I see no reason to have Yuna Ito’s “Trust You” be a 21mb file. I love that song to the end of time but I also like my hard drive space, at least until I can get a terabyte in which I will have 3 and the world of internet porn will BE IN MY HAND! Don’t worry, I washed it. Anyway, unless you are a music producer or a professional music pirate, just give it to us in 192kbs. Thanks…jackass.
That is all for today! I will be back up this week at least once to get to the 50’s and next week I may do one a day until next Sunday to have the Top 10, which I will break down into two posts. Hope to be at number one by the third week of June. Until then, stay up peeps I got one word for you: HYDRAULICS!
UNGH! Man, this song may be the greatest song to dance to since “Centipede” by Rebbie Jackson! Yeah, that’s pretty damn old school. I am out.
Chachi Out
First things first: The #1 Ladies Detective Agency is fucking awesome. Two episodes in and I am rather hooked. I mean it has:
• Africans: It is based in Botswana which oddly enough DOES look like New Mexico but it IS filmed at least mostly in Africa because aint that many Black people in Albuquerque> I’ve been…and there are six.
• Jill Scott: And yo thick, fine self. It would be like Gojira vs. Juggernaught, but man I would wreck that like Angel Grove the episode before the Power Rangers get new Zords.
Anyone remember Ninjor? HE WAS SO GAY!
• A Black Child Named Wellington: Someone at work put it best. There are some names of children that just MEANS they will grow up to be a badass. Coletrain Washington is one. Wellington is another. That kid is going to smash heads like the Hulk.
• Gay Africans: Every show needs a gay hair dresser and damn it, this one is no different. As one who has dressed hair (I’m fierce, bitches!) I must say it doesn’t MEAN you are gay but all signs point to yes. Except for me, I’m a man boy. Check out this bandana! It’s festive! I mean…yeah, festive. *Sigh* I stay straight until Zac Efron comes out. Then we can be happy. I FUCKING KID!
• Kick Ass Soundtrack: Not since the soundtrack for 90210 came out have I been this pumped up about music on a TV show:
I love that song still. Anyway, African music (Behind J-Pop, K-Pop and Indian) has been one of my global pleasures while driving. Once the soundtrack for this show comes out I will be the first person to buy it.
Add in the fact that I haven’t seen a single White person yet and you have the best show on TV! Don’t get me wrong, White people. You are the White light in my Black life and you smell like oatmeal raisin cookies and lavender. However in a show about Africans, I have no desire to see your pale asses anywhere. It is like watching “Dukes of Hazzard” or “Newhart” and seeing Black people. You know it is!
Anyway, now that I have offended all of my readership except for Asians and Guatemalans, let us wrap this up, shall we? It is time for installment five of…like….seventy of:
101 Things That Piss Me Off!
We are now in the 70’s! Get down tonight!
79. ABC: Let me get this straight, American Broadcasting Company. You cancel “Pushing Daisies” and (supposedly) “Better Off Ted” and almost drop “Scrubs” after one season yet you keep on shit like “Lost” and “Dancing With The Stars?” Really? I think this is more a reflection on the dumbification of America as a whole but man, your network fucking sucks. And get rid of “Desperate Housewives” so Eva Longoria can go somewhere and die, already! I hate that bitch.
78. Clear Heels: You know, we all know that stripper wear them, and that is cool. But the influx of women in the general population wearing them is like regular people wearing purple hats with feathers in them. Some things belong to the uniform and if you wear it then you are one. There, I said it. You wear clear heels then you are a stripper. Odds are, poorly paid compared to the real ones.
77. John Madden: I so fucking hate you. Aside from the fact that your game has been the same game for the last 15 fucking years or so but you are the most idiotic man on TV since Sinbad. I mean after “First Kid” Sinbad. That’s when he was funny. Dudes be like zombies at the mall! Priceless!
76. Twitter: No one gives a fuck about you. No one. You aren’t any more special than the homeless dude that just pissed his pants and I am sure he has better insight on the world than you do…because he is fucking nuts. You, on the other hand are a fucking douche.
75. Nick Cannon: Yeah, I thought he would be higher, too. I guess that after a while the hatred goes away. That and “Love Don’t Cost A Thing” wasn’t THAT bad. Okay, it was but with Christina Milian and Melissa Schuman in it…I’m okay with that.
74. Tony Yayo: What the fuck? This guy is garbage. It is proof that niggas are dumb and they stick together. If you like Tony Yayo you need to be shot in the balls because all you will do is make more ignorant ass niggas which means I have to hear “So Seductive” blaring out of your fucking Caprice.
73. Bunnies: Another pet that isn’t a pet. There is a reason there is a book of ways to kill the little bastards: because they are fucking worthless. I have seen freckles with more purpose than a bunny.
72. Florida Gators: You know, I think it is more that I hate Steve Spurrier than hating the Florida Gators. As a Georgia native I think it is the law to hate them (Got my handbook in 1997. Also said I have to hate Lynard Skynard because they are from Alabama but they already suck ass so I didn’t need a book to tell me that shit. GET SOME!) but I will say that Tim Tebow is in good need of an ass kicking. I hate players that thank god for their abilities when it is SCIENCE that gives you the proteins and hormones you jack up with. That and the BCS being slanted to the SEC and Big-12 but that is later on.
71. Blu-Ray Porn: Let me understand this. You want me to pay $20 more for porn that shows the IMPERPECTIONS of my favorite pornstars? Hells no! I try to avoid the fact that Jasmine Byrne’s or Asa Akira’s vagina looks like it was ransacked by the Horde in Halo Wars. I don’t need it in 1080p resolution. Crazy High Definition is making my penis soft!
70. Lossless Files: Okay, I see no reason to have Yuna Ito’s “Trust You” be a 21mb file. I love that song to the end of time but I also like my hard drive space, at least until I can get a terabyte in which I will have 3 and the world of internet porn will BE IN MY HAND! Don’t worry, I washed it. Anyway, unless you are a music producer or a professional music pirate, just give it to us in 192kbs. Thanks…jackass.
That is all for today! I will be back up this week at least once to get to the 50’s and next week I may do one a day until next Sunday to have the Top 10, which I will break down into two posts. Hope to be at number one by the third week of June. Until then, stay up peeps I got one word for you: HYDRAULICS!
UNGH! Man, this song may be the greatest song to dance to since “Centipede” by Rebbie Jackson! Yeah, that’s pretty damn old school. I am out.
Chachi Out
Friday, May 29, 2009
I Have An Addiction...I Blame Hinoi Team.
Okay peeps, it is time once again for the Friday staple…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
It was a rough ass week but this all kind of makes up for it! Let’s take a look shall we?
20. SCANDAL – Shojo S (New Entry)
19. Dev Parade – Bachokkoi!! (Last Week #15)
18. Stereopony – Seishun Ni Sono Namida Ga Hitsuyou Da! (New Entry)
17. Abingdon Boys School – STRENGTH (Last Week #14)
16. Incubus – Black Heart Inertia (Last Week #19)
15. Jesse McCartney featuring Ludacris – How Do You Sleep (Last Week #10, One Week at #1)[Plunge of the Week]
14. Pitbull – I Know You Want Me [Calle Ocho] (Last Week #12)
13. Se7en featuring Lil’ Kim - Girls (Last Week #17)
12. Ikimonogakari – Futari (Last Week #16)
11. Maxwell – Pretty Wings (Last Week #13)
10. May J. featuring DJ Kaori, DIGGY-MO, Clench & Blistah – Garden (Last Week #11)
9. BoA featuring Sean Garrett – I Did It For Love (Last Week #6, Three Weeks at #1)
8. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #8, One Week at #1)
7. 2ne1 – Fire (Last Week #9)
6. Abingdon Boys School – JAP (Last Week #7)
5. Tohoshinki – Share The World (Last Week #5)
4. Young Money featuring Lil Wayne – Every Girl (Last Week #4)
3. Wonder Girls – NOW (Last Week #1, One Week at #1)
2. Kanye West featuring Young Jeezy – Amazing (Last Week #3)
1. YUI – Again (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
As you can see, we have two debuts this week with SCANDAL marking the 7th Bleach opening theme to chart (With five going to number one!) and Stereopony hopping aboard with more schoolgirl goodness. I have a problem and I am sorry. ABS looks to be spending its last days on while Incubus, Se7en, Ikimonogakari and Maxwell move on up. Pitbull, Jesse McCartney and Dev Parade all fall this week including J-Mac being the biggest plunge for the second straight week.
Meanwhile, May J returns to the Top 10 and her album is out this week I believe. Need to get on that! BoA and Shion Tsuji’s runs look to be at an end while 2ne1, ABS’s second video entry and Tohoshinki all move up a spot or two. Young Money stays at number four while Wonder Girls falls from the number one spot! Kanye and Jeezy bring in the runner up spot while YUI returns to number one for the first time in almost THREE YEARS! I love this video, btw.
Well that is all for this week. I plan to see “Pixar’s Up!”tonight if anyone is interested in going. I will try to be up this weekend for an update but until then, stay up.
Chachi Out
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
It was a rough ass week but this all kind of makes up for it! Let’s take a look shall we?
20. SCANDAL – Shojo S (New Entry)
19. Dev Parade – Bachokkoi!! (Last Week #15)
18. Stereopony – Seishun Ni Sono Namida Ga Hitsuyou Da! (New Entry)
17. Abingdon Boys School – STRENGTH (Last Week #14)
16. Incubus – Black Heart Inertia (Last Week #19)
15. Jesse McCartney featuring Ludacris – How Do You Sleep (Last Week #10, One Week at #1)[Plunge of the Week]
14. Pitbull – I Know You Want Me [Calle Ocho] (Last Week #12)
13. Se7en featuring Lil’ Kim - Girls (Last Week #17)
12. Ikimonogakari – Futari (Last Week #16)
11. Maxwell – Pretty Wings (Last Week #13)
10. May J. featuring DJ Kaori, DIGGY-MO, Clench & Blistah – Garden (Last Week #11)
9. BoA featuring Sean Garrett – I Did It For Love (Last Week #6, Three Weeks at #1)
8. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #8, One Week at #1)
7. 2ne1 – Fire (Last Week #9)
6. Abingdon Boys School – JAP (Last Week #7)
5. Tohoshinki – Share The World (Last Week #5)
4. Young Money featuring Lil Wayne – Every Girl (Last Week #4)
3. Wonder Girls – NOW (Last Week #1, One Week at #1)
2. Kanye West featuring Young Jeezy – Amazing (Last Week #3)
1. YUI – Again (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
As you can see, we have two debuts this week with SCANDAL marking the 7th Bleach opening theme to chart (With five going to number one!) and Stereopony hopping aboard with more schoolgirl goodness. I have a problem and I am sorry. ABS looks to be spending its last days on while Incubus, Se7en, Ikimonogakari and Maxwell move on up. Pitbull, Jesse McCartney and Dev Parade all fall this week including J-Mac being the biggest plunge for the second straight week.
Meanwhile, May J returns to the Top 10 and her album is out this week I believe. Need to get on that! BoA and Shion Tsuji’s runs look to be at an end while 2ne1, ABS’s second video entry and Tohoshinki all move up a spot or two. Young Money stays at number four while Wonder Girls falls from the number one spot! Kanye and Jeezy bring in the runner up spot while YUI returns to number one for the first time in almost THREE YEARS! I love this video, btw.
Well that is all for this week. I plan to see “Pixar’s Up!”tonight if anyone is interested in going. I will try to be up this weekend for an update but until then, stay up.
Chachi Out
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I Officially Hate Everything. Rather Than Just Based Off Rumor, I Mean...
Alright, as some of you know I got my car broken into on Tuesday while I was at work. Needless to say I am kind of pissed but at the same time…kind of numb about the whole thing. It slapped me in the face that maybe my time in Colorado needs to end. And it SO WILL. Come September, the plan is back in action.
The 101 Things That Piss Me Off will be back, odds are on Saturday night if I don’t have a vehicle. The Countdown is done and needless to say is full of sexy J-Rock lady goodness. I loves me some lady J-Rock…it gets me through the bad times. I will be back soon; this won’t hold me down for long. But man…I miss my homie. The late night glow from my deck on the long drives back from work, happy hour and Koreatown Fridays. It did me right. My car did me right. And some fuckwit goes and fucks that up due to their greed and overall douchery. Oh, and I am pissed about the fact that I parked next to a GYM, A BUSINESS AND TWO APARTMENT COMPLEXES and no one heard or cared about jack shit. I hate Denver so fucking much. Eat a dick, Mile High City. But this…this is for my deck:
Sweet Jones…
One love, Depp. One love. YES I NAMED MY FUCKING DECK! WE WAS TIGHT, SON!
Chachi Out.
The 101 Things That Piss Me Off will be back, odds are on Saturday night if I don’t have a vehicle. The Countdown is done and needless to say is full of sexy J-Rock lady goodness. I loves me some lady J-Rock…it gets me through the bad times. I will be back soon; this won’t hold me down for long. But man…I miss my homie. The late night glow from my deck on the long drives back from work, happy hour and Koreatown Fridays. It did me right. My car did me right. And some fuckwit goes and fucks that up due to their greed and overall douchery. Oh, and I am pissed about the fact that I parked next to a GYM, A BUSINESS AND TWO APARTMENT COMPLEXES and no one heard or cared about jack shit. I hate Denver so fucking much. Eat a dick, Mile High City. But this…this is for my deck:
Sweet Jones…
One love, Depp. One love. YES I NAMED MY FUCKING DECK! WE WAS TIGHT, SON!
Chachi Out.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
It's Dangerous Out There, Take This. Man, I Have Always Wanted To Say That.
What is up, peeps?! This week will be a short one due to the Memorial Day holiday and whatnot. I don’t care whether you enjoyed it or not seeing as how you bastards don’t recognize the sacrifices made by those of us in the Console Wars. We lost many a good soldier in that war. Vectorman…that dude from ActRaiser…ToeJam from “ToeJam & Earl” and of course Diddy Kong. Poor son of a bitch stepped on a B-Bomb. We thought he had enough time because it was supposed to flash…and it was the last thing he ever saw. Rest in pixilated peace, my good simian. Rest in pixilated peace.
Man, Japan gets cooler yet weirder by the day. With that said it is time for the second installment of…
101 Things That Piss Me The Hell Off!
Okay, I will try to do this so that the last one is in June but it all depends. These are rather easy so there may be one a day.
89. Conspiracy Theorists: Okay, I think that people need to understand that the government is out to get everyone. So the fuck what? Republicans need to shut the fuck up with the Socialism bullshit (Which is conveniently mistaken with “facism” but what can one expect from people too busy loving their guns th do research on shit) and hippies just need to take a fucking bath…and then kill themselves. Unless you plan on doing something about it (That doesn’t involve smoking hemp or talking about seceding in which good-fucking-riddance) you need to shut the fuck up and take that shit back to the factory.
88. Fanny Packs: Really? Who the fuck needs these anymore? Unless you are a weight lifter or a drug dealer you have no need for a fanny pack. Unless you want to be a queer.
87. Radio: You know, I set my alarm with the radio rather than the buzzer and I hit the snooze button a lot. Why is it always the SAME FUCKING SONG? I mean we all love Fergie as much as the next person but if I have to hear “Boom Boom Pow” one more motherfucking time I am going shove a baby up her meth encrusted gully-hole. So sick of this shit.
86. People With Birds As Pets: Birds aren’t pets. They are food. Get the fuck over it. As for the bald eagle; the more extinct the bird the better that son-of-a-bitch tastes with a biscuit and mashed potatoes.
85. Nebraska: You ever been? I have. And it sucks the balls dry. Except for Anime Nebraskon which I will be attending this year. Anyone down to roll wit’ Chef?!
84. John Cena: You know, watching Hulk Hogan overcome impossible odds was fun because it was the 80’s and Hulk Hogan was FUCKING HULK HOGAN. John Cena, you are no Hulk Hogan. You aren’t even Horace Hogan. I hate you so much and I refuse to watch any match with you in it.
83. The Verizon Wireless Guy: Yeah, Verizon has never worked for me and whenever I see this nerdy shit I want to kill his family right in front of him. Then fuck his dog. Yeah, I said it. MIKE VICK AINT GOT SHIT ON ME! I kid…kind of. I still hate his ass.
82. NPR: You know Patton Oswalt put it best about NPR. You want to support it due to the far-right douchebaggery of Conservative radio but man it is just FUCKING UNLISTENABLE! Just sad and hopeless dribble bookended by liberal rhetoric and GAY ASS HIPPIE FUCK FUCKWITS! God, makes me ashamed to be a…non…Conservative…Democrat…hating…Black dude. I’m a man without a country.
81. Rabid Dipshit Sports Fans: Okay, I like sports. Hell, I would call myself an avid fan. But at what point is drunken douchery accepted because it is a sporting event? You know who you are and no one gives a fuck about your team. Unless you are a soccer hooligan you are a FUCKING PUSSY and you should act as such. Until I see NFL riots you fans are all fucking sissies. And not the good kind like in San Francisco that do hair and love musicals. I mean the bad ones that watch Gossip Girl and love that douchefuck from Twilight. Which BTW, will be on here but a lot higher.
80. Inspirational Posters With Cats on Them: Yeah…no. I love cats as much as the next person. Not as much as I love collies but my love is up there. The posters need to stop because if you are inspired by a cat dangling on a rope then you should be inspired by a dog dangling from Mike Vick’s arms…in a rear naked choke. It’s kind of the same!
Alright, I need to head to bed if I want to make it to work before 10AM again. Man, it is gonna be rough this weekend. Either way I will try to be back up this week before the Countdown on Friday. BTW, I want to see Pixar’s “Up!” in 3D on Friday if anyone is interested.
Until then, stay up.
Chachi Out
Man, Japan gets cooler yet weirder by the day. With that said it is time for the second installment of…
101 Things That Piss Me The Hell Off!
Okay, I will try to do this so that the last one is in June but it all depends. These are rather easy so there may be one a day.
89. Conspiracy Theorists: Okay, I think that people need to understand that the government is out to get everyone. So the fuck what? Republicans need to shut the fuck up with the Socialism bullshit (Which is conveniently mistaken with “facism” but what can one expect from people too busy loving their guns th do research on shit) and hippies just need to take a fucking bath…and then kill themselves. Unless you plan on doing something about it (That doesn’t involve smoking hemp or talking about seceding in which good-fucking-riddance) you need to shut the fuck up and take that shit back to the factory.
88. Fanny Packs: Really? Who the fuck needs these anymore? Unless you are a weight lifter or a drug dealer you have no need for a fanny pack. Unless you want to be a queer.
87. Radio: You know, I set my alarm with the radio rather than the buzzer and I hit the snooze button a lot. Why is it always the SAME FUCKING SONG? I mean we all love Fergie as much as the next person but if I have to hear “Boom Boom Pow” one more motherfucking time I am going shove a baby up her meth encrusted gully-hole. So sick of this shit.
86. People With Birds As Pets: Birds aren’t pets. They are food. Get the fuck over it. As for the bald eagle; the more extinct the bird the better that son-of-a-bitch tastes with a biscuit and mashed potatoes.
85. Nebraska: You ever been? I have. And it sucks the balls dry. Except for Anime Nebraskon which I will be attending this year. Anyone down to roll wit’ Chef?!
84. John Cena: You know, watching Hulk Hogan overcome impossible odds was fun because it was the 80’s and Hulk Hogan was FUCKING HULK HOGAN. John Cena, you are no Hulk Hogan. You aren’t even Horace Hogan. I hate you so much and I refuse to watch any match with you in it.
83. The Verizon Wireless Guy: Yeah, Verizon has never worked for me and whenever I see this nerdy shit I want to kill his family right in front of him. Then fuck his dog. Yeah, I said it. MIKE VICK AINT GOT SHIT ON ME! I kid…kind of. I still hate his ass.
82. NPR: You know Patton Oswalt put it best about NPR. You want to support it due to the far-right douchebaggery of Conservative radio but man it is just FUCKING UNLISTENABLE! Just sad and hopeless dribble bookended by liberal rhetoric and GAY ASS HIPPIE FUCK FUCKWITS! God, makes me ashamed to be a…non…Conservative…Democrat…hating…Black dude. I’m a man without a country.
81. Rabid Dipshit Sports Fans: Okay, I like sports. Hell, I would call myself an avid fan. But at what point is drunken douchery accepted because it is a sporting event? You know who you are and no one gives a fuck about your team. Unless you are a soccer hooligan you are a FUCKING PUSSY and you should act as such. Until I see NFL riots you fans are all fucking sissies. And not the good kind like in San Francisco that do hair and love musicals. I mean the bad ones that watch Gossip Girl and love that douchefuck from Twilight. Which BTW, will be on here but a lot higher.
80. Inspirational Posters With Cats on Them: Yeah…no. I love cats as much as the next person. Not as much as I love collies but my love is up there. The posters need to stop because if you are inspired by a cat dangling on a rope then you should be inspired by a dog dangling from Mike Vick’s arms…in a rear naked choke. It’s kind of the same!
Alright, I need to head to bed if I want to make it to work before 10AM again. Man, it is gonna be rough this weekend. Either way I will try to be back up this week before the Countdown on Friday. BTW, I want to see Pixar’s “Up!” in 3D on Friday if anyone is interested.
Until then, stay up.
Chachi Out
Monday, May 25, 2009
A Little Late, But At Least It's A Holiday!
What is up, peeps! I forgot to post this on Friday (Long weekend) but it has been up on YouTube since then. So it is time for...
Chachi's Top 20 Video Countdown!
Here we go, people! Let's get started with what may be the biggest video of 2009 so far on its way out!
20. Yuna Ito – Trust You (Last Week #16, Three Weeks at #1)
19. Incubus – Black Heart Inertia (New Entry)
18. Lil Wayne – Prom Queen (Last Week #14)
17. Se7en featuring Lil’ Kim - Girls (New Entry)
16. Ikimonogakari – Futari (Last Week #20)
15. Dev Parade – Bachokkoi!! (Last Week #12)
14. Abingdon Boys School – STRENGTH (Last Week #10)
13. Maxwell – Pretty Wings (Last Week #17)
12. Pitbull – I Know You Want Me [Calle Ocho] (Last Week #5)
11. May J. featuring DJ Kaori, DIGGY-MO, Clench & Blistah – Garden (Last Week #13)
10. Jesse McCartney featuring Ludacris – How Do You Sleep (Last Week #1, One Week at #1)[Plunge of the Week]
9. 2ne1 – Fire (Last Week #15, Biggest Mover)
8. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #7, One Week at #1)
7. Abingdon Boys School – JAP (Last Week #11)
6. BoA featuring Sean Garrett – I Did It For Love (Last Week #3, Three Weeks at #1)
5. Tohoshinki – Share The World (Last Week #9)
4. Young Money featuring Lil Wayne – Every Girl (Last Week #8)
3. Kanye West featuring Young Jeezy – Amazing (Last Week #6)
2. YUI – Again (Last Week #4)
1. Wonder Girls – NOW (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
As you can see, we have two big debuts. One from Incubus and the return of Se7en! He has been gone since MARCH of 2006 and he is giving it to us in English this time. May J. is back outside of the Top 10 and after hitting number one, J-Mac and Luda fall ten huge spots, the biggest since Sleepy Brown & Big Boi fell 10 spots after taking number one with "Margaritas" in 2006.
2ne1 continued its big moves, jumping from #16 to #9 while Shion Tsuji and BoA look to have their dominant runs end. In the Top Three we see the return of Kanye at #3 and YUI back and getting her SIXTH STRAIGHT video to take the number two spot! She was held back by the Wonder Girls who have gotten their third number one video in the last six months! Congrats!
See you next Friday to see if YUI can take over the top spot for the first time since March of 2007! Or can the Wonder Girls make it two straight weeks on top? Or will Kanye get his record seventh number one video (And Young Jeezy get his third)? See you in seven to find out!
I will have the next segment of "101 Things That Piss Me Off" up tonight for Tuesday. Until next time, stay up peeps. And happy Memorial Day! Remember the Covenant...
Good stuff to remember. Colorado Springs is full of zombies.
Chachi Out
Chachi's Top 20 Video Countdown!
Here we go, people! Let's get started with what may be the biggest video of 2009 so far on its way out!
20. Yuna Ito – Trust You (Last Week #16, Three Weeks at #1)
19. Incubus – Black Heart Inertia (New Entry)
18. Lil Wayne – Prom Queen (Last Week #14)
17. Se7en featuring Lil’ Kim - Girls (New Entry)
16. Ikimonogakari – Futari (Last Week #20)
15. Dev Parade – Bachokkoi!! (Last Week #12)
14. Abingdon Boys School – STRENGTH (Last Week #10)
13. Maxwell – Pretty Wings (Last Week #17)
12. Pitbull – I Know You Want Me [Calle Ocho] (Last Week #5)
11. May J. featuring DJ Kaori, DIGGY-MO, Clench & Blistah – Garden (Last Week #13)
10. Jesse McCartney featuring Ludacris – How Do You Sleep (Last Week #1, One Week at #1)[Plunge of the Week]
9. 2ne1 – Fire (Last Week #15, Biggest Mover)
8. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #7, One Week at #1)
7. Abingdon Boys School – JAP (Last Week #11)
6. BoA featuring Sean Garrett – I Did It For Love (Last Week #3, Three Weeks at #1)
5. Tohoshinki – Share The World (Last Week #9)
4. Young Money featuring Lil Wayne – Every Girl (Last Week #8)
3. Kanye West featuring Young Jeezy – Amazing (Last Week #6)
2. YUI – Again (Last Week #4)
1. Wonder Girls – NOW (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
As you can see, we have two big debuts. One from Incubus and the return of Se7en! He has been gone since MARCH of 2006 and he is giving it to us in English this time. May J. is back outside of the Top 10 and after hitting number one, J-Mac and Luda fall ten huge spots, the biggest since Sleepy Brown & Big Boi fell 10 spots after taking number one with "Margaritas" in 2006.
2ne1 continued its big moves, jumping from #16 to #9 while Shion Tsuji and BoA look to have their dominant runs end. In the Top Three we see the return of Kanye at #3 and YUI back and getting her SIXTH STRAIGHT video to take the number two spot! She was held back by the Wonder Girls who have gotten their third number one video in the last six months! Congrats!
See you next Friday to see if YUI can take over the top spot for the first time since March of 2007! Or can the Wonder Girls make it two straight weeks on top? Or will Kanye get his record seventh number one video (And Young Jeezy get his third)? See you in seven to find out!
I will have the next segment of "101 Things That Piss Me Off" up tonight for Tuesday. Until next time, stay up peeps. And happy Memorial Day! Remember the Covenant...
Good stuff to remember. Colorado Springs is full of zombies.
Chachi Out
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Things Are Looking Up...They Always Do From The Bottom.
Hey peeps! It has been a while since I have posted anything new and life has taken quite a sharp turn toward the “Really? Well, I’ll be damned” so I am in a bit of recoil and recovery. That and over the weekend I pretty much went buck on the golf course and realized that Peppermint Schnapps is NOT a good idea. EVER. But I had fun and that is all that matters.
So I want to talk about a little something that I have really touched on in a bit. No, not Asuka Hinoi (And her fine, now legal ass) but over the last few weeks I am noticing that I have kind of calmed down on the anger tip. Sure when I am on the road I may threaten to skullfuck a feline every now and again but who doesn’t? For the most part I am have noticed that my rage is being replaced a lot by…apathy. Which at first I was rather concerned about because I felt like not caring is worse than being livid all the time but I realized something about apathy: it is as close to pure enlightenment as you can come to without actually going on a spirit journey. I mean you are literally at peace with the fact that everything is as is and all you can do is what you can…so you stop giving a shit. Which in essence is the core of being complete with yourself: knowing you and saying “fuck the world” if they can’t adjust but at the same time understanding that the world does its own thing and it is up to you to decide to integrate with it or go into the mountains and be a shutout…shut-in…shut up? Either way…
Since I have started my whole apathy thing, life has been nowhere near as bad. Or maybe it has; I have been too apathetic to care but from what I could tell it was better than the days I wanted to run my car over Sand Creek Bridge and drown in the…5 inches of water. I had one rather…odd sequence of events last month (Wait, March) that made me question whether women needed to be eradicated but that was to be expected because if my life is anything, it is cruel and ironic comedy for The Wolven. He can be a douche, but he provides me with the souls of children and puppies I need to survive on. Aside from that, everything has been a sea of B+ events. Hell, I might even be able to say the last few months have been…
Good.
Now I try not to get too excited when things go well because the last time I did that I ended up sitting on Copper’s couch with a Blue Moon wondering how in the hell I managed to fuck up again, except this time a lot faster and messier than usual. Which wasn’t BAD as much as it wasn’t where I expected to be. Now I don’t expect to be anywhere. I don’t assume I am getting anything or am going anywhere because nothing is guaranteed. Instead, I know where I want to go, what I want to do and how I want to get there so I leave nothing to chance because I know everything about the plan of action. And I don’t tell the hero my full plan before I start it, either. That’s just dumb.
So part of the process of getting to this point of indifferent enlightenment (GOD, I NEED TO WRITE A FUCKING BOOK) was acknowledging the things that pissed me off and addressing WHY they did so. Now some of them are a given. White people piss me off and that aint gonna change, as do Black people and sockpuppets. As does the word “bromance.” But most everything else I took a look at and said: is this worth getting mad about? You know what? They all were. Since that failed miserably, I decided to just accept that asshatery and fuckwitation will forever be here and to get upset rarely changes them. Then, all of a sudden I became more effective. Mostly because when you don’t care about anything you just do what you do and don’t care how people feel about it. Usually that ends up in getting arrested but with me it was the exact opposite; I DIDN’T get arrested. Things actually began to unsuck. It was rather refreshing in comparison to a lot of the things that have been happening.
So I wanted to do something I have started at work because…I like making White people feel uncomfortable. Now what we have a Black president I have to try twice as hard to put the fear of the black planet in them to boot. Since I was trying to turn over a new leaf in the anger and jaded department I decided to list what bugged me and there are still a few things that make me want to slap the shit out of a bunny. So, today is the first installment of…
101 Things That Piss Me The Hell Off!
Now I wanted to do 1,001 but I noticed that a lot of things over lap so I decided to consolidate like 85% of them but here we go. In backward order…
101. Crabapples: Only good for throwing at children in the grade below you. Although if they were called Unicornapples everyone would love them. I smell marketing campaign!
100. The New York Yankees: Or the whole state of New York. That place is a hole and the people there know it. The Yankees however are just uppity shits. Not as uppity as ANOTHER TEAM I will get into later.
99. Jell-O Shots: If you do these, you are a fuckwit. That is all, really. I just think they are stupid and Bill Cosby is ashamed of you, Vanessa! Go to your room!
98. Hangovers: I have only had one and a half hangovers (Feel free to ask me when if you must and I will try to put the pieces of the night together. Although one was the day I got laid off the first time) but man did they suck. Oh, and I don’t blame me for doing it. I blame Stolis for being the WELL VODKA EVERYWHERE! God, it taste like Communism.
97. The Verizon Network: Yeah, it’s the network. And if fucking sucks donkey dicks. I hate them with all my fiber and being. However, since I enjoy abuse and see any attention as good attention I am still with them. Even though they beat me for not having dinner ready on time. And drop my calls all the time.
96. Capri Pants: Ladies, either wear shorts or wear pants. Wearing these were cool for about 7 months in like 1998 and then they should have went away. And before you run under the notion that all that you do should be considered hot and therefore men shouldn’t give you fashion advice remember: Japan is 1 year from making Persacons. You will be obsolete soon, so you better shape the fuck up and LOSE THE FUCKING CAPRIS!
95. Dijon Mustard: Yeah, if French’s aint good enough for you then you don’t need it. On another note, I don’t want mustard on my grilled ham and cheese sandwich. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT?! Oh yeah…White people. More on you later.
94. Turkey (The country, not the food): It is fucking Istanbul, not Constantinople. GET IT RIGHT, YOU SWARTHY FUCKS!
93. Laser focus: I swear; people who used to work with me know how much I hate this. If I ever hear someone tell me this where I am at now someone is getting their ass whooped.
92. Panasonic 3DO: $799?! ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH?! I don’t care how awesome John Madden Football was (And it WAS KILLER), I aint spending enough to get liposuction on a god damn gaming system.
91. Lynard Skynard: I guess I don’t care enough about them to be pissed at them but I am pissed at their fans for the most part. Understand something: Every band from the British Invasion > Lynard Skynard. Yes, even The Beatles. AND YOU KNOW THOSE FUCKERS ARE ON HERE.
90. YMCA: I guess I should blame the Villiage People but all I know is that I could not get a good meal and I could not do whatever I felt. It was just people exercising! WHAT THE FUCK? I will say that they had the Navy dead on. Gayer than 8 men felching on Liberace’s birthday.
I will try to do about ten a day until we get to number one. And no Copper, it isn’t women, bros or niggas. I pretty much gave away numbers two through four though. IN WHAT ORDER, THOUGH?!
Be back for the Countdown…which will be up after I see Terminator: Salvation tonight. Stay up, ya’ll.
Chachi Out
So I want to talk about a little something that I have really touched on in a bit. No, not Asuka Hinoi (And her fine, now legal ass) but over the last few weeks I am noticing that I have kind of calmed down on the anger tip. Sure when I am on the road I may threaten to skullfuck a feline every now and again but who doesn’t? For the most part I am have noticed that my rage is being replaced a lot by…apathy. Which at first I was rather concerned about because I felt like not caring is worse than being livid all the time but I realized something about apathy: it is as close to pure enlightenment as you can come to without actually going on a spirit journey. I mean you are literally at peace with the fact that everything is as is and all you can do is what you can…so you stop giving a shit. Which in essence is the core of being complete with yourself: knowing you and saying “fuck the world” if they can’t adjust but at the same time understanding that the world does its own thing and it is up to you to decide to integrate with it or go into the mountains and be a shutout…shut-in…shut up? Either way…
Since I have started my whole apathy thing, life has been nowhere near as bad. Or maybe it has; I have been too apathetic to care but from what I could tell it was better than the days I wanted to run my car over Sand Creek Bridge and drown in the…5 inches of water. I had one rather…odd sequence of events last month (Wait, March) that made me question whether women needed to be eradicated but that was to be expected because if my life is anything, it is cruel and ironic comedy for The Wolven. He can be a douche, but he provides me with the souls of children and puppies I need to survive on. Aside from that, everything has been a sea of B+ events. Hell, I might even be able to say the last few months have been…
Good.
Now I try not to get too excited when things go well because the last time I did that I ended up sitting on Copper’s couch with a Blue Moon wondering how in the hell I managed to fuck up again, except this time a lot faster and messier than usual. Which wasn’t BAD as much as it wasn’t where I expected to be. Now I don’t expect to be anywhere. I don’t assume I am getting anything or am going anywhere because nothing is guaranteed. Instead, I know where I want to go, what I want to do and how I want to get there so I leave nothing to chance because I know everything about the plan of action. And I don’t tell the hero my full plan before I start it, either. That’s just dumb.
So part of the process of getting to this point of indifferent enlightenment (GOD, I NEED TO WRITE A FUCKING BOOK) was acknowledging the things that pissed me off and addressing WHY they did so. Now some of them are a given. White people piss me off and that aint gonna change, as do Black people and sockpuppets. As does the word “bromance.” But most everything else I took a look at and said: is this worth getting mad about? You know what? They all were. Since that failed miserably, I decided to just accept that asshatery and fuckwitation will forever be here and to get upset rarely changes them. Then, all of a sudden I became more effective. Mostly because when you don’t care about anything you just do what you do and don’t care how people feel about it. Usually that ends up in getting arrested but with me it was the exact opposite; I DIDN’T get arrested. Things actually began to unsuck. It was rather refreshing in comparison to a lot of the things that have been happening.
So I wanted to do something I have started at work because…I like making White people feel uncomfortable. Now what we have a Black president I have to try twice as hard to put the fear of the black planet in them to boot. Since I was trying to turn over a new leaf in the anger and jaded department I decided to list what bugged me and there are still a few things that make me want to slap the shit out of a bunny. So, today is the first installment of…
101 Things That Piss Me The Hell Off!
Now I wanted to do 1,001 but I noticed that a lot of things over lap so I decided to consolidate like 85% of them but here we go. In backward order…
101. Crabapples: Only good for throwing at children in the grade below you. Although if they were called Unicornapples everyone would love them. I smell marketing campaign!
100. The New York Yankees: Or the whole state of New York. That place is a hole and the people there know it. The Yankees however are just uppity shits. Not as uppity as ANOTHER TEAM I will get into later.
99. Jell-O Shots: If you do these, you are a fuckwit. That is all, really. I just think they are stupid and Bill Cosby is ashamed of you, Vanessa! Go to your room!
98. Hangovers: I have only had one and a half hangovers (Feel free to ask me when if you must and I will try to put the pieces of the night together. Although one was the day I got laid off the first time) but man did they suck. Oh, and I don’t blame me for doing it. I blame Stolis for being the WELL VODKA EVERYWHERE! God, it taste like Communism.
97. The Verizon Network: Yeah, it’s the network. And if fucking sucks donkey dicks. I hate them with all my fiber and being. However, since I enjoy abuse and see any attention as good attention I am still with them. Even though they beat me for not having dinner ready on time. And drop my calls all the time.
96. Capri Pants: Ladies, either wear shorts or wear pants. Wearing these were cool for about 7 months in like 1998 and then they should have went away. And before you run under the notion that all that you do should be considered hot and therefore men shouldn’t give you fashion advice remember: Japan is 1 year from making Persacons. You will be obsolete soon, so you better shape the fuck up and LOSE THE FUCKING CAPRIS!
95. Dijon Mustard: Yeah, if French’s aint good enough for you then you don’t need it. On another note, I don’t want mustard on my grilled ham and cheese sandwich. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT?! Oh yeah…White people. More on you later.
94. Turkey (The country, not the food): It is fucking Istanbul, not Constantinople. GET IT RIGHT, YOU SWARTHY FUCKS!
93. Laser focus: I swear; people who used to work with me know how much I hate this. If I ever hear someone tell me this where I am at now someone is getting their ass whooped.
92. Panasonic 3DO: $799?! ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH?! I don’t care how awesome John Madden Football was (And it WAS KILLER), I aint spending enough to get liposuction on a god damn gaming system.
91. Lynard Skynard: I guess I don’t care enough about them to be pissed at them but I am pissed at their fans for the most part. Understand something: Every band from the British Invasion > Lynard Skynard. Yes, even The Beatles. AND YOU KNOW THOSE FUCKERS ARE ON HERE.
90. YMCA: I guess I should blame the Villiage People but all I know is that I could not get a good meal and I could not do whatever I felt. It was just people exercising! WHAT THE FUCK? I will say that they had the Navy dead on. Gayer than 8 men felching on Liberace’s birthday.
I will try to do about ten a day until we get to number one. And no Copper, it isn’t women, bros or niggas. I pretty much gave away numbers two through four though. IN WHAT ORDER, THOUGH?!
Be back for the Countdown…which will be up after I see Terminator: Salvation tonight. Stay up, ya’ll.
Chachi Out
Friday, May 15, 2009
Man...My Life Is Just Going Really Weird.
Alright, Youtube sucks ass on this one but here we are for another week of...
Chachi's Top 20 Video Countdown!
Here we go!
20. Ikimonogakari – Futari (New Entry)
19. Hikaru Utada – Come Back To Me (Last Week #9, Plunge of the Week)
18. Namie Amuro – WILD (Last Week #15)
16. Yuna Ito – Trust You (Last Week #13, Three Weeks at #1)
15. 2ne1 – Fire (Last Week #20)
14. Lil Wayne – Prom Queen (Last Week #12)
13. May J. featuring DJ Kaori, DIGGY-MO, Clench & Blistah – Garden (Last Week #18)
12. Dev Parade – Bachokkoi!! (Last Week #11)
11. Abingdon Boys School – JAP (Last Week #16, Biggest Mover)
10. Abingdon Boys School – STRENGTH (Last Week #10)
9. Tohoshinki – Share The World (Last Week #14)
8. Young Money feat Lil Wayne – Every Girl (Last Week #10)
7. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #5, One Week at #1)
6. Kanye West featuring Young Jeezy – Amazing (Last Week #8)
5. Pitbull – I Know You Want Me [Calle Ocho] (Last Week #4)
4. YUI – Again (Last Week #6)
3. BoA featuring Sean Garrett – I Did It For Love (Last Week #1, Three Weeks at #1)
2. Wonder Girls – NOW (Last Week #3)
1. Jesse McCartney featuring Ludacris – How Do You Sleep (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
As you can see, we have debuts by Ikimonogakari (Their second video of 2009) and the first ever entry by Maxwell! Hikaru Utada fell HUGE this week but the news is that BoA's reign is over! Jesse McCartney and Ludacris take over the top spot this week with the Wonder Girls in tow! Tune in next week to see if they can get their third number one video in the last six months or if J-Mac can hold on for another week! Dont forget Yui who is back in the Top Five once again and looking to end her two year drought!
Tomorrow is waking up HELLA FUCKING EARLY but it should be worth it to hang out with The Rick and everyone. I will try to be up Sunday depending on how tired I am. If not, stay up peeps and see you next Friday!
Chachi Out
Chachi's Top 20 Video Countdown!
Here we go!
20. Ikimonogakari – Futari (New Entry)
19. Hikaru Utada – Come Back To Me (Last Week #9, Plunge of the Week)
18. Namie Amuro – WILD (Last Week #15)
16. Yuna Ito – Trust You (Last Week #13, Three Weeks at #1)
15. 2ne1 – Fire (Last Week #20)
14. Lil Wayne – Prom Queen (Last Week #12)
13. May J. featuring DJ Kaori, DIGGY-MO, Clench & Blistah – Garden (Last Week #18)
12. Dev Parade – Bachokkoi!! (Last Week #11)
11. Abingdon Boys School – JAP (Last Week #16, Biggest Mover)
10. Abingdon Boys School – STRENGTH (Last Week #10)
9. Tohoshinki – Share The World (Last Week #14)
8. Young Money feat Lil Wayne – Every Girl (Last Week #10)
7. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #5, One Week at #1)
6. Kanye West featuring Young Jeezy – Amazing (Last Week #8)
5. Pitbull – I Know You Want Me [Calle Ocho] (Last Week #4)
4. YUI – Again (Last Week #6)
3. BoA featuring Sean Garrett – I Did It For Love (Last Week #1, Three Weeks at #1)
2. Wonder Girls – NOW (Last Week #3)
1. Jesse McCartney featuring Ludacris – How Do You Sleep (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
As you can see, we have debuts by Ikimonogakari (Their second video of 2009) and the first ever entry by Maxwell! Hikaru Utada fell HUGE this week but the news is that BoA's reign is over! Jesse McCartney and Ludacris take over the top spot this week with the Wonder Girls in tow! Tune in next week to see if they can get their third number one video in the last six months or if J-Mac can hold on for another week! Dont forget Yui who is back in the Top Five once again and looking to end her two year drought!
Tomorrow is waking up HELLA FUCKING EARLY but it should be worth it to hang out with The Rick and everyone. I will try to be up Sunday depending on how tired I am. If not, stay up peeps and see you next Friday!
Chachi Out
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Badmitton Sucks. That Is All...
What is up, people! I am back on the scene for the first time since last week with something new and I have had some things happen to make enough ammunition for an actual post today. First things first…
If It Ain’t Optional, Say It. If Not, Eat A Dick.
So last week I swore up and down that I wasn’t going to go to a company function. Not because I don’t like the people (Which for the most part I am indifferent) but because if given the choice of doing something I have no interest in for half a day and let’s say…skullfucking a porcupine I would have to get myself a pretty durable condom because that cactus is getting gagged like Sasha Grey. So if you say it ISN’T mandatory but “is” mandatory that is bullshit and I am going to go through that loophole you give, especially if it is something I have no interest in doing in any way shape or form. I would have rather just taken 4 hours of leave (Which I am not sure I get…much like a 401K or schoolgirl panties which are usually prerequisites where I work) and took my happy ass home seeing as how the drive is over an hour and a half whenever the fuck I leave. Watching people play retard tennis isn’t my idea of a fun day just like watching a Venture Brothers marathon isn’t the idea of a good time for some. To force someone to watch Hank and Dean die every three episodes isn’t going to entertain all; odds are it would piss them off. Just like I was ALL FUCKING DAY FRIDAY because I was given a thinly veiled threat of douchery under the guise of getting canned. Which is a great way to get people to do what you want, BTW. Threats worked for Adolph Hitler AND Ike Turner…now they are dead because they were worthless pricks. God don’t like ugly…but I blame science. Cocaine is a hell of a drug and a bullet is a hell of a…bullet.
Are Women Really STILL THIS FUCKING STUPID?!
So last week my sister and I had a conversation about Rihanna and Cassie being dumb enough to decide to get naked on a cell phone and let SOMEONE take pictures of them. After thinking about it…I think women should be barred from camera phones. As a matter of fact, women and douchebags should be kept away from technology altoghether. When douches and women get tech stuff, bad things result. Ladies, this about this logically. Do you know how GPS on your cell phone works? Okay, now you have a device that is able to tell the Direction Gods of Kublahfah where you are at any given time. So what in the fuck makes you think that the naked pictures you have on your phone are safe? Are you really that fucking stupid?
Now this isn’t the FIRST time I have had to speak on this (Well, not have to but it makes for excellent blogging material) and with the actions of women being as ass-backwards as they are it won’t be the last. Honestly if you are going to take pictures just be known that the intarnetz is vast and always moving. At least Rihanna, Cassie and Vanessa “Mogwai Crotch” Hudgens (I still love you, Gabriela!) are celebrites. A lot of you ladies have pictures in a phone by some fool that works at Anchor Blue or Orange Julius. And it’s your own fool fault. If someone takes pictures without your knowledge (Unless you are drunk because…then you are just being stupid. We’ve all seen it and I have no remorse) then yes you have been wronged. But if you take these pictures YOURSELF (See Rihanna’s pictures) then you deserve what happens if they fall into the wrong hands. You know what the hell you are doing! Gawd, it’s only a titty anyway. You don’t want it seen, put it away. If you are cool with it, let it hang out. Now go out there and take pointless pictures of yourself with the duckface! Please don’t do that shit.
Well, I am out. I will try to be back up tomorrow if not…well, I just won’t be up then. Peace out, ya’ll….
Chachi Out
If It Ain’t Optional, Say It. If Not, Eat A Dick.
So last week I swore up and down that I wasn’t going to go to a company function. Not because I don’t like the people (Which for the most part I am indifferent) but because if given the choice of doing something I have no interest in for half a day and let’s say…skullfucking a porcupine I would have to get myself a pretty durable condom because that cactus is getting gagged like Sasha Grey. So if you say it ISN’T mandatory but “is” mandatory that is bullshit and I am going to go through that loophole you give, especially if it is something I have no interest in doing in any way shape or form. I would have rather just taken 4 hours of leave (Which I am not sure I get…much like a 401K or schoolgirl panties which are usually prerequisites where I work) and took my happy ass home seeing as how the drive is over an hour and a half whenever the fuck I leave. Watching people play retard tennis isn’t my idea of a fun day just like watching a Venture Brothers marathon isn’t the idea of a good time for some. To force someone to watch Hank and Dean die every three episodes isn’t going to entertain all; odds are it would piss them off. Just like I was ALL FUCKING DAY FRIDAY because I was given a thinly veiled threat of douchery under the guise of getting canned. Which is a great way to get people to do what you want, BTW. Threats worked for Adolph Hitler AND Ike Turner…now they are dead because they were worthless pricks. God don’t like ugly…but I blame science. Cocaine is a hell of a drug and a bullet is a hell of a…bullet.
Are Women Really STILL THIS FUCKING STUPID?!
So last week my sister and I had a conversation about Rihanna and Cassie being dumb enough to decide to get naked on a cell phone and let SOMEONE take pictures of them. After thinking about it…I think women should be barred from camera phones. As a matter of fact, women and douchebags should be kept away from technology altoghether. When douches and women get tech stuff, bad things result. Ladies, this about this logically. Do you know how GPS on your cell phone works? Okay, now you have a device that is able to tell the Direction Gods of Kublahfah where you are at any given time. So what in the fuck makes you think that the naked pictures you have on your phone are safe? Are you really that fucking stupid?
Now this isn’t the FIRST time I have had to speak on this (Well, not have to but it makes for excellent blogging material) and with the actions of women being as ass-backwards as they are it won’t be the last. Honestly if you are going to take pictures just be known that the intarnetz is vast and always moving. At least Rihanna, Cassie and Vanessa “Mogwai Crotch” Hudgens (I still love you, Gabriela!) are celebrites. A lot of you ladies have pictures in a phone by some fool that works at Anchor Blue or Orange Julius. And it’s your own fool fault. If someone takes pictures without your knowledge (Unless you are drunk because…then you are just being stupid. We’ve all seen it and I have no remorse) then yes you have been wronged. But if you take these pictures YOURSELF (See Rihanna’s pictures) then you deserve what happens if they fall into the wrong hands. You know what the hell you are doing! Gawd, it’s only a titty anyway. You don’t want it seen, put it away. If you are cool with it, let it hang out. Now go out there and take pointless pictures of yourself with the duckface! Please don’t do that shit.
Well, I am out. I will try to be back up tomorrow if not…well, I just won’t be up then. Peace out, ya’ll….
Chachi Out
Friday, May 08, 2009
Yeah...Youtube Is Special.
So I was out late and need to get to bed to make it to work at a decent time tomorrow. So, here is...
Chachi's Top 20 Video Countdown!
It is all in video form because I didnt have time to do commentary and you will also see it is under DailyMotion rather than Youtube due to bullshit. I swear, is 20 seconds gonna cost you jack shit? It isnt a fucking pregnancy. Fuckers. Either way, here we are!
Well, hopefully Star Trek tonight and the avoiding of badmitton tomorrow. Until next time, stay up peeps. I will put the video on YouTube at some point after some edits. Post it later.
Chachi Out!
UPDATE: YouTube link works.
Hells yeah. Carry on.
Chachi's Top 20 Video Countdown!
It is all in video form because I didnt have time to do commentary and you will also see it is under DailyMotion rather than Youtube due to bullshit. I swear, is 20 seconds gonna cost you jack shit? It isnt a fucking pregnancy. Fuckers. Either way, here we are!
Well, hopefully Star Trek tonight and the avoiding of badmitton tomorrow. Until next time, stay up peeps. I will put the video on YouTube at some point after some edits. Post it later.
Chachi Out!
UPDATE: YouTube link works.
Hells yeah. Carry on.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Whooty: To Think, We Used To Get Strung Up For LOOKING. Ooohhh, Lawdy The Freedom To Be Ignorant!
Something I want to talk about right now…
EDubb: Officially PISSING ON THE GRAVE OF EMMITT TILL
Yes, I fucking went there. So the other day I did my usual thing of pirating (ARRR!) music and I saw a song in my torrent pack called “Whooty” by some bunch of random niggas named EDubb. Now first off I knew they weren’t the smartest of characters because that name just screams “fuckwit” but I was making a mix CD and I made the mistake of actually playing this ear-rape of a song:
Now for those of you that DON’T know what a “whooty” is I blame you for not listening to this song but at the same time you are smarter than I because I took the time out to do so and I feel dumber for it. Now usually I let shit like this slide because I am a firm believer in each their own but…
WILL YOU IGNORANT NIGGAS PLEASE GET A MOTHERFUCKING CLUE?!
If you are offended by that word, stop acting like one. You know, there was a time that looking at a White woman the wrong way got you strung up like fucking set of Christmas lights in Castle Rock and your face rearranged like Rihanna’s face after she was Chris Brown’d so I guess I should be happy we have exited those days of violent racism. Right into a world of utter and complete niggaosity to the point that SOME DUMB ASSES MAKE A SONG ABOUT WHITE WOMEN WITH ASS! Now I say “DAT ASS” as much as anyone but it’s a meme. They are all over the internet. Niggerdom however needs to be stopped. I felt the same way about that USDA song “White Girl” especially after I found out the cockmongers weren’t certified to do a god damn thing. Except be gangsta I guess, and we all know you can claim that shit on your taxes now a days. God…I hate ignorance so fucking much. Maybe we need to bring back lynching to keep the eyeballin to a minimum because that shit is just ridiculous. If you like this song then you are a fucking moron and I hope you never breed because the only thing your children will be good for are target practice for drive bys and strippers. Eat a dick.
As you can see, I am pretty pissed the fuck off and had a relatively shitty day. Oh, and with that being said; ladies if you wear gray slacks and a black shirt…you are getting fucked. Borderline to the point of deportation on my part. That is fucking hot to me. Everybody got they something. That is all for now. I am tired and have been late every day since…March? So I may try to be on time tomorrow. Or not, who fucking knows.
Chachi Out
EDubb: Officially PISSING ON THE GRAVE OF EMMITT TILL
Yes, I fucking went there. So the other day I did my usual thing of pirating (ARRR!) music and I saw a song in my torrent pack called “Whooty” by some bunch of random niggas named EDubb. Now first off I knew they weren’t the smartest of characters because that name just screams “fuckwit” but I was making a mix CD and I made the mistake of actually playing this ear-rape of a song:
Now for those of you that DON’T know what a “whooty” is I blame you for not listening to this song but at the same time you are smarter than I because I took the time out to do so and I feel dumber for it. Now usually I let shit like this slide because I am a firm believer in each their own but…
WILL YOU IGNORANT NIGGAS PLEASE GET A MOTHERFUCKING CLUE?!
If you are offended by that word, stop acting like one. You know, there was a time that looking at a White woman the wrong way got you strung up like fucking set of Christmas lights in Castle Rock and your face rearranged like Rihanna’s face after she was Chris Brown’d so I guess I should be happy we have exited those days of violent racism. Right into a world of utter and complete niggaosity to the point that SOME DUMB ASSES MAKE A SONG ABOUT WHITE WOMEN WITH ASS! Now I say “DAT ASS” as much as anyone but it’s a meme. They are all over the internet. Niggerdom however needs to be stopped. I felt the same way about that USDA song “White Girl” especially after I found out the cockmongers weren’t certified to do a god damn thing. Except be gangsta I guess, and we all know you can claim that shit on your taxes now a days. God…I hate ignorance so fucking much. Maybe we need to bring back lynching to keep the eyeballin to a minimum because that shit is just ridiculous. If you like this song then you are a fucking moron and I hope you never breed because the only thing your children will be good for are target practice for drive bys and strippers. Eat a dick.
As you can see, I am pretty pissed the fuck off and had a relatively shitty day. Oh, and with that being said; ladies if you wear gray slacks and a black shirt…you are getting fucked. Borderline to the point of deportation on my part. That is fucking hot to me. Everybody got they something. That is all for now. I am tired and have been late every day since…March? So I may try to be on time tomorrow. Or not, who fucking knows.
Chachi Out
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