Well, no time like the present so lets get this party started!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin….with a video I didn’t want to put on here….
20. Wonder Girls – So Hot (New Entry)
We begin with a song I fought hard against putting on here. Now this song is catchy as all hell and I have been unable to get this song out of my head for about a month. But I mean…it’s JYP. I really don’t like him. But the song is catchy and the video is…yeah. You + me = jailtime. IM KIDDING!
19. Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F. (Last Week #17, One Week at #1)
SO the new Foxxi MisQ video has grown on me over the last few days. Which is good because this former number one is on its way out.
18. Seamo feat Ayuse Kozue - Honey (New Entry)
Online Videos by Veoh.com
HELL HAS OFFICIALLY FROZEN OVER! Seamo has finally made the Countdown after being my sworn enemy for years! Those of you that know me are aware that I HATED his verse on Bennie K’s “Love Story” and wanted him dead. He has since grown on me and has since actually has become a fav of mine. This video is pretty bad ass and the song is great to boot. Hell, if Soulja Boy can make it….anyone can. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?! I was so high…
17. Lupe Fiasco feat Nikki Jean – Hip Hop Saved My Life (Last Week #14)
I looks like Lupe is on his way out. However, a CRS album should be coming at the end of summer so I am no longer a sad panda!
16. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (Last Week #19)
HAMC move up three spots this week as they attempt to duplicate the amazing success of…”Amazing.” They all can’t be gold.
15. L`Arc~en~Ciel – DRINK IT DOWN (Last Week #12)
The Arc continues to fall! I need something new from these guys. I was spoiled because they had a shitload of work after their “hiatus” but I hope they don’t take a break. I needs my Hyde!
14. Colbie Caillat – Realize (Last Week #11)
Colbie falls another three spots this week after a short run in the Top 10. Anyone noticed her eyes are really, really…..funny looking? I’m sorry….just noticing.
13. UVERworld – Just Break The Limit! (Last Week #13)
Uh-oh. UVERworld stalls this week at UNLUCKY NUMBER THIRTEEN!! Or not, I don’t remember but this doesn’t bode well for The World, especially since they are trying to get back to the top.
12. Kanye West feat. Chris Martin – Homecoming (Last Week #6, One Week at #1) [Plunge of the Week]
Kanye falls a HUGE six spots this week and out of the Top 10 for the first time in almost two months! It has been a good twelve months for Kanye, let’s see if he can bounce back from the boo-bird incident.
11. BACK-ON – Sands of Time (Last Week #15)
BACK-ON is flying high! On their first time out they are one step away from the Top 10. Not bad for these guys. Could they be the next UVERworld? We will have to see! We are down to 10!
10. Usher feat. Young Jeezy – Love In This Club (Last Week #8, Three Weeks at #1)
And we begin with a former number one! Usher and Young Jeezy fall two more spots this week as we look at maybe an Artist of the Year nomination for the Prince of R&B. It has only been a few months but he has a good run going…
9. Aqua Timez - Niji (Last Week #9)
See, this is what we call a sophomore jinx. Namie Amuro had it, The Arc had it and Lupe Fiasco had it. When you have an awesome first video the second usually stalls and “Niji” is no case as it spends its second week at number nine. Can it move upward next week?
8. Usher – Moving Mountains (Last Week #16, Biggest Mover)
MORE USHER! Usher moves up the most spaces this week since nobodyknows+ moved up 13 places to the number one spot last summer. I LOVE THIS SONG. Because…I just like it okay. I am a sad panda.
7. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #10)
Time to play the Game! The Game moves up three more spots this week as my favorite summer time jam is riding high. Can I just say that the remix of “Ain’t Saying Nothing” with Lil’ Wayne and The Game is pretty bad ass? I mean….Fat Joe has gotten good. Seriously.
6. Chris Brown - Forever (Last Week #6)
In a shocker, Chris Brown stalls after being the biggest mover last week. I really don’t know why I don’t listen to him more. I mean….he isn’t THAT bad. I have a thing against his WHOLE first album but the second one isn’t bad at all. Give it a whirl.
5. Kelun – SIXTEEN GIRL (Last Week #3)
After holding on to the number three spot for two weeks it looks like Kelun is falling down. Screw that, THREE WEEKS UNTIL CHU-BURA IS RELEASED!!! FUCK YES!!
4. Paramore – That’s What You Get (Last Week #5)
Paramore is quietly moving up ONCE AGAIN! After “Misery Business snuck up on everyone last year and almost took the top spot its hard to see how they could do it again. But they did, as they move up a spot to number four and kind of hang around. But we are now down to three!
3. Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy (Last Week #2, Two Weeks at #1)
TK may have a new video out now but his first number one video falls another spot from number two. Anyone know whether this means a new album because it if does…..SLUMBER PARTAY!!!
2. Alicia Keys – Teenage Love Affair (Last Week #4)
Mmmm! Miss Alicia moves ONE STEP AWAY from her third straight number one video! Yui couldn’t do it, UVERworld couldn’t do it and John Legend accomplished it BARELY. It is hard to do but can she make it three straight number one videos? To do so, the fine Alicia Keys will have to knock off our reigning queens…
1. YA-KYIM – Super Looper (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
YA-KYIM holds on for a second week! I am so in love with these ladies and….that is it. I just love them. This song is catchy and this video is HOT. Tow VERY GOOD REASONS this video is number one for a second week! SUPER!
That is all for this week! Can YA-KYIM hold on to the top spot for a third week? Or will Alicia Keys capture her third number one video? Or can KT and Misia return to the top spot and capture THEIR third week? Find out in seven days!
Well, I am out. Tonight I think I am going to see “Get Smart” for the fine, fine Anne Hatheway and that fine, fine Dwayne Johnson. What? Oh, don’t go hating. I will try to be back up on Saturday or Sunday but until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
I.....HATE....LIL' MAMA!
My god, I hope Lil Mama doesnt vote for President. She would probably vote for T-Pain. HOW IN THE FUCK DO YOU VOTE FANNY PAK OVER DISTORTED X?! WHAT THE FUCK, BELLANIE?!
Now dont get me wrong, Xtreme Dance Suckass SHOULD have been in the bottom (Dont blame me, I voted for SUPER CR3W!) two but to send a team that was technically better home over a crew that I will admit is novel and good at what they do but not BETTER is stupid. Distorted X could have done Fanny Pak’s routine, but could the reverse happen? I honestly don’t think so.
Secondly, WHAT IN THE FUCK IS FANNY PAK DOING?! There is a reason the only good thing from the 80's was cartoons, toys and Rick Astley. The 80’s sucked, it is the butt of all jokes and only known for crack and the Cosby Show. They are BreakSk8 of Season 2: good at what they do but not better than their competition at DANCING. Now I am not a professional but looking at all the crews what does Fanny Pak do that is SO special over the others (Except Xtreme Dance Ball-lickers)? NOTHING! Gawd….I hate Lil’ Mama so much. You are usurping the will of the fucking people by having a dance-off that the Electoral Dance College of suck chooses the winner! Could you imagine that shit is it was during the Democratic Primaries?! Dennis Kucinich would have been voted back in EVERY FUCKING WEEK! That my friends is bullshit and destroying America….’s Best Dance Crew. As for JC….you were looking tres gay tonight. Good work on that one.
So I am saying it right here and right the fuck now. If you want to fight about it BRING IT because I will own your face but…
SUPER CR3W’s performance tonight OWNED everything the Jabawockeez and everyone else in Season One ever fucking did.
My god….B-BOY NINJAS?! WHAT THE FUCK MAN?! My brain could NOT REGISTER THE AWESOME! My ears are bleeding….I may need to go to the hospital. That shit was so tight that I can say nothing else. I am voting for Super Cr3w twelve times because they were that bad ass. It hurts because I am all about the Boogie Bots (DID YOU SEE THE SUPER SENTAI INTRO?! AWESOME!) but Super Cr3w killed it. Literally, three people are in the hospital now from awesomeness overdoses. Sounds cool, but it is actually a serious problem. I almost died of it during the Jabawockeez MJ performance in Season One. I was okay, I just watched some BreakSk8 and I was okay. God I hated them. Well the stage has been set and the expectations have been created. Super Cr3w, So Real Crew and Boogie Bots are the teams to beat. Soul Selection is….overrated or just sandbagging. Not sure yet, I think it is the latter and next week they are going to rape my cat because this week was good but seemed a bit too….withdrawn. Something tells me they will murder it next week. A.S.I.I.D. is playing the handi-card which is cool, I would do it if I could. In the end, they remind me of Status Quo sans stunts. Which means they have to grow as a crew real fast because I am not a fan right now. Overall, it was a great show. Minus Fanny Pak and Xtreme Dance Ass-fucking Shitball Asshats. THEY SUCK.
That is all for now. Back to the replay!!
Chachi Out
Now dont get me wrong, Xtreme Dance Suckass SHOULD have been in the bottom (Dont blame me, I voted for SUPER CR3W!) two but to send a team that was technically better home over a crew that I will admit is novel and good at what they do but not BETTER is stupid. Distorted X could have done Fanny Pak’s routine, but could the reverse happen? I honestly don’t think so.
Secondly, WHAT IN THE FUCK IS FANNY PAK DOING?! There is a reason the only good thing from the 80's was cartoons, toys and Rick Astley. The 80’s sucked, it is the butt of all jokes and only known for crack and the Cosby Show. They are BreakSk8 of Season 2: good at what they do but not better than their competition at DANCING. Now I am not a professional but looking at all the crews what does Fanny Pak do that is SO special over the others (Except Xtreme Dance Ball-lickers)? NOTHING! Gawd….I hate Lil’ Mama so much. You are usurping the will of the fucking people by having a dance-off that the Electoral Dance College of suck chooses the winner! Could you imagine that shit is it was during the Democratic Primaries?! Dennis Kucinich would have been voted back in EVERY FUCKING WEEK! That my friends is bullshit and destroying America….’s Best Dance Crew. As for JC….you were looking tres gay tonight. Good work on that one.
So I am saying it right here and right the fuck now. If you want to fight about it BRING IT because I will own your face but…
SUPER CR3W’s performance tonight OWNED everything the Jabawockeez and everyone else in Season One ever fucking did.
My god….B-BOY NINJAS?! WHAT THE FUCK MAN?! My brain could NOT REGISTER THE AWESOME! My ears are bleeding….I may need to go to the hospital. That shit was so tight that I can say nothing else. I am voting for Super Cr3w twelve times because they were that bad ass. It hurts because I am all about the Boogie Bots (DID YOU SEE THE SUPER SENTAI INTRO?! AWESOME!) but Super Cr3w killed it. Literally, three people are in the hospital now from awesomeness overdoses. Sounds cool, but it is actually a serious problem. I almost died of it during the Jabawockeez MJ performance in Season One. I was okay, I just watched some BreakSk8 and I was okay. God I hated them. Well the stage has been set and the expectations have been created. Super Cr3w, So Real Crew and Boogie Bots are the teams to beat. Soul Selection is….overrated or just sandbagging. Not sure yet, I think it is the latter and next week they are going to rape my cat because this week was good but seemed a bit too….withdrawn. Something tells me they will murder it next week. A.S.I.I.D. is playing the handi-card which is cool, I would do it if I could. In the end, they remind me of Status Quo sans stunts. Which means they have to grow as a crew real fast because I am not a fan right now. Overall, it was a great show. Minus Fanny Pak and Xtreme Dance Ass-fucking Shitball Asshats. THEY SUCK.
That is all for now. Back to the replay!!
Chachi Out
I Am One Sad, Sad Panda...
AMERICA’S BEST DANCE CREW TONIGHT! YO PUNK ASS BETTER WATCH IT! I AM TOTALLY THERE, BITCHES!!
Yeah that is some solace in an otherwise bad week. Man, I am at one of those crossroads again as I have to choose between being happy or being…..well, unfulfilled. Most of you know that I am not one of those people that sits back and does a job solely to do the shit. I left the Devil’s Anal Cavity after…two weeks or so because I don’t believe in the collective. I left that insurance place because…wait, I don’t even think THEY knew I worked there. “Where is that Black dude that sat in that chair for a day? Was he the new janitor? He had an attitude problem…”
Now I am back at that moment YET AGAIN as I wonder is learning a new skill set worth completely changing how I am and what I do best: KEEP IT REAL. Okay, that is too vague but I likes that phrase. In all seriousness, I am at the point where I was in….1999 when my old school closed down and I didn’t have a career path. Now I have one but I have totally jumped down another route and after hearing that I am completely blowing the burro at this point I am having second thoughts about myself and my skills for the first time since I started playing Tecmo Bowl for the NES:
Fuck Christian Okoye. FUCK HIM IN HIS HEAD. Yeah, that is exactly how I feel right now. Like I am being bowled over by a big-ass African and all that stands between my death and my permanent paralysis (Yes, this is really a lose-lose situation. Get me some soju and I will tell you about it) is my wits. Problem is my wits can’t stop this problem because it is a BIG ASS AFRICAN BARRELING DOWN ON MY ASS LIKE I AM A FUCKING SANDWICH IN ETHIOPIA! Not sure what I am going to do to overcome this one, peeps.
*Sigh*
Combine that with being caught in a glass case of emotion and damnit….this is NOT the Perfect Situation:
What's the deal with my brain?
Why am I so obviously insane?
In a perfect situation
I led love down the drain
There's the pitch, slow and straight
All I have to do is swing and I'm a hero
But I'm a zero
Hungry nights once again
Now it's getting unbelievable
Cause I could not have it better
But I just can't get no play
From the girls all around
As they search the night
For someone to hold on to
And just pass through
Singin'
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Get your hands off the girl
Can't you see that she belongs to me?
And I don't appreciate this
Excess company
Though I can't satisfy
All the needs she has
And so she starts to wander
Can you blame her?
Singin'
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Tell me there's a logic out there
Leading me to better prepare
For the day that something really special might come
Tell me there's some hope for me
I don't want to be lonely
For the rest of my days on the earth
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Singin'
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Man….this is going to be a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG year. Luckily, I HAVE AMERICA’S BEST DANCE CREW TO KEEP ME COMPANY! DO NOT BUG ME TONIGHT! As watching it will odds are be the only smile I will have. Because I am a sad….sad panda.
Chachi Out.
Yeah that is some solace in an otherwise bad week. Man, I am at one of those crossroads again as I have to choose between being happy or being…..well, unfulfilled. Most of you know that I am not one of those people that sits back and does a job solely to do the shit. I left the Devil’s Anal Cavity after…two weeks or so because I don’t believe in the collective. I left that insurance place because…wait, I don’t even think THEY knew I worked there. “Where is that Black dude that sat in that chair for a day? Was he the new janitor? He had an attitude problem…”
Now I am back at that moment YET AGAIN as I wonder is learning a new skill set worth completely changing how I am and what I do best: KEEP IT REAL. Okay, that is too vague but I likes that phrase. In all seriousness, I am at the point where I was in….1999 when my old school closed down and I didn’t have a career path. Now I have one but I have totally jumped down another route and after hearing that I am completely blowing the burro at this point I am having second thoughts about myself and my skills for the first time since I started playing Tecmo Bowl for the NES:
Fuck Christian Okoye. FUCK HIM IN HIS HEAD. Yeah, that is exactly how I feel right now. Like I am being bowled over by a big-ass African and all that stands between my death and my permanent paralysis (Yes, this is really a lose-lose situation. Get me some soju and I will tell you about it) is my wits. Problem is my wits can’t stop this problem because it is a BIG ASS AFRICAN BARRELING DOWN ON MY ASS LIKE I AM A FUCKING SANDWICH IN ETHIOPIA! Not sure what I am going to do to overcome this one, peeps.
*Sigh*
Combine that with being caught in a glass case of emotion and damnit….this is NOT the Perfect Situation:
What's the deal with my brain?
Why am I so obviously insane?
In a perfect situation
I led love down the drain
There's the pitch, slow and straight
All I have to do is swing and I'm a hero
But I'm a zero
Hungry nights once again
Now it's getting unbelievable
Cause I could not have it better
But I just can't get no play
From the girls all around
As they search the night
For someone to hold on to
And just pass through
Singin'
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Get your hands off the girl
Can't you see that she belongs to me?
And I don't appreciate this
Excess company
Though I can't satisfy
All the needs she has
And so she starts to wander
Can you blame her?
Singin'
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Tell me there's a logic out there
Leading me to better prepare
For the day that something really special might come
Tell me there's some hope for me
I don't want to be lonely
For the rest of my days on the earth
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Singin'
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Man….this is going to be a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG year. Luckily, I HAVE AMERICA’S BEST DANCE CREW TO KEEP ME COMPANY! DO NOT BUG ME TONIGHT! As watching it will odds are be the only smile I will have. Because I am a sad….sad panda.
Chachi Out.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
I'm An Animaniac! I'm Taking Pills And Therapy For It...
What is up peeps?! I am back and I am feeling a little better after yesterday’s debacle of a day. Nowhere near as bad as the shitstorm of fury I had that was Monday but not much better. Man, this summer better go uphill from here.
So today I wanted to try something today that I haven’t done yet. I wanted to do this in 2006 but I just never found the time to do it but I have decided that maybe now is a good time to do so. As you all know, I am a huge fan of the anime and a HUGE fan of the J-Pop. Since they kind of go hand in hand now, there are some songs that can make or break a series to the point that it makes a bad series good (Or watchable in the case of Blood+) or a good series very, VERY bad such as Suzaka (Which I liked but MAN that song sucked ass). So, I decided to rank my favorite opening themes ever! So here is…
Chachi’s Top 10 Anime Series Opening Themes of All Time!!!
First off, this is for a SERIES of openings so the first rule of this ranking is there has to be more than two opening themes for the series. This was hard to do because there are so many series with only one or two opening themes that KICK ASS but to stay fair I had to have some rules to this thing. So, here are some Honorable Mentions (Some would actually top this bad boy if it was just for individual themes):
Neon Genesis Evangelion (I may not have creamed over the show like a lot of anime fans but I have always been a fan of the soundtrack and felt it fit the series well. The Para Para version by Yoko Ishida….AWESOME!)
Cowboy Bebop (Yoko Kanno’s FINEST FUCKING WORK!! “Piano Black” redefined would could be considered an opening. I like everyone else had the initial “What the fuck” moment but after listening I knew this was the mad notes.)
Peach Girl (Fuck you, I likes me some Meg Rock. You don’t like this opening there is something wrong with YOU, fucky!)
Darker Than Black (Abingdon Boys School and Antic Café. NUFF FUCKING SAID, BITCHES!)
Love Hina (Yeah, a little peppy tune that got me in the mood for the series. Little known fact: I am not really a big fan of Love Hina. Tenchi Muyo did it and a lot better, too. But I still give the opening its props)
Lucky Star (Yeah, another song with Aya on it. Yes, I love her and she loves me. That and this song is happy action fun time goodness)
Revoltionary Girl Utena (A little guilty pleasure of mine. Toe tapping goodness although I don’t believe I have seen all of the series)
Air Gear (FUCK YES! BACK-ON IN YOUR MOTHER FUCKING FACE! This was the only reason I watched “Air Gear” and I ended up enjoying it. Now I am a huge fan of the band. See, it can all be cosmic)
Great Teacher Onizuka (Okay, I will admit that I am not a big fan of the second opening theme but “Driver’s High” WILL end up getting me a ticket one of these days. AWESOMENESS!)
Samuari Champaloo (A little biased but “Battlecry” may be my favorite opening EVER. There is nothing but good with this song and really made watching the show at TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING tolerable. Love that jam)
Chobits (FUCK YES. FUCK YES! FUCK YES!!!)
Now there are more that didn’t make the cut and I will get to them another day. Now here are a few mentions for anime with enough openings but JUST didn’t make the cut…
Honorable Mentions!
One Piece (The Japanese version of the music, not that audio rape that was the American rap shit. Yi-yo my fucking fat Black ass. Topped off by D-51’s “Brand New World” which was FUCKING TITS! Best shit ever but even with all the songs they had, still behind some really good stuff)
Gintama (HEARTS GROW, BITCHES! That was later in line, I believe the 4th, but I am all about that opening. Even made me go back and download some original episodes and it was really bad ass from the…three episodes I saw. I kind of suck)
Keroro Gunso (Sgt. Frog is teh awesome when it comes to endings and the openings are great, too. Kind of quirky but what in Japan isn’t?)
Naruto (WHAT?! Okay, let me explain. The openings for Naruto have ranged from AWESOME with Flow and Nobodyknows+ to average with Sambomaster to just ANNOYING with Long Shot Party and that “No Boy, No Cry” song. Which grew on me but you have no idea how much I fucking hated that song so it didn’t move up really far. Besides, shit gets GOOD from this point out.
Urusei Yatsura (KICKING IT OLD SCHOOL! This was one of the first anime I saw when I returned to the states and albeit was about 10 years old I was in LOVE with the opening themes. “Lum’s No Love Song” was fucking bad ass!)
Eureka Seven (Tough name to pronounce, kick ass music to listen to. From Flow to Nirgilis the music was the only reason I got into the show.
There are more that deserve recognition and if you have some that deserve shout out in your opinion let me know. Until then, let’s get this thing started!!
THE TOP TEN!
10. Full Metal Alchemist
Best Opening: “Ready Steady Go!” by L’Arc~en~Ciel
Worst Opening: “Undo” by Cool Joke
What Makes It Great: As one who was getting this ALMOST when it was coming out in Japan and being subbed and distributed via MiRC (OLD SCHOOL) I was all over this anime and “Melissa” by Porno Grafitti is the only reason I know the five words of Japanese I know now. “Rewrite” by AKFG is arguably my favorite song by them and the only real weak like is Cool Joke’s “Undo” because after The Arc…you gotta come hard. Still a great library.
9. Blood+
Best Opening: “Season’s Call” by Hyde (ARGUABLE!!!)
Worst Opening: “Raion” by Jinn
What Makes It Great: The four openings were the ONLY REASON I sat through this fucking show. Eat my ass I thought Blood+ was boring as shit when it was dubbed and the sub was only marginally better because Diva was creepy. “Aozora no Namida” was a great way to begin the series seeing as how it made you forget the SHOW HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MOVIE IT FUCKING CAME FROM. “Colors Of The Heart” was your standard UVERworld goodness (they are on here a few times…get used to it) and even though I didn’t like “Raion” it grows on you after a while. Too bad the show sucks too much to care. Just get the CD and skip the show.
8. Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex
Best Opening: Inner Universe (AWESOME!)
Worst Opening: Christmas in the Silent Forest (NOT QUITE AS AWESOME!)
What Makes It Great: I have been about trance since my old school rave days and it was interesting to see how much of the music from the initial movie made it into the few all-nighters in Aurora I went to back in the day. All I have to say is that “Inner Universe” is the model that shows like Gantz and Elfen Lied should have used to build their music rather than the crap they used. RADIOHEAD?! Fuck off! Sadly there are only three opening themes but the in-show music is well worth the listen.
7. Initial D
Best Opening: “Noizy Tride” (I don’t know why….I love this song)
Worst Opening: “Noizy Tride” (This was the ONLY SONG THAT PLAYED in the fucking video game at the mall. Personally pettiness I admit.)
What Makes It Great: Okay, I will admit I didn’t really like Initial D the SHOW but I was a fan of the soundtrack. I used to play the game all the time in college (Where I was instead of meeting ladies but Initial D doesn’t judge me) and the soundtrack LITERALLY rocked the Citadel Mall. Thumping for your ass! Now the music much like the show is an acquired taste and I haven’t seen many episodes (Just five at Zach’s house and maybe three at Ted’s during an Invader Zim marathon break) and I wasn’t impressed by what I saw. But the music is massive! Restecpa!
6. Gundam Series (Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny, Gundam_00, Gundam Wing)
Best Opening: “IGNITED” BY TM REVOLUTION, BITCHES!! FEEL THE AWESOME!!
Worst Opening: You know I have never been a fan of “Our Whereabouts” by Hitomi Takahashi.
What Makes It Great: Now Gundam the SHOW has always been hit or miss for me. I kind of liked Seed, DESPISED Wing and was indifferent about Destiny (I LOVED Gundam_00, BTW until the decided to license it). What puts it at number six is that it is either really AWESOME or really just bad. I love TM Revolution’s openings (“Invoke” and “Ignited”) as well as L`Arc~en~Ciel’s “DAYBREAK’S BELL” but Nami Tamaki’s older work was not my cup of tea and I felt it didn’t really…fit. She picks herself up later though. Really great catalog of work in the Gundam series.
5. Bleach
Best Opening: (TIE) “Alones” by Aqua Timez and “D-Technolife” by UVERworld
Worst Opening: I guess “Ichirin No Hana” by HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR. Once again, this is a reach.
What Makes It Great: Well, you knew this was going to end up here. Let’s just break it down:
1. Orange Range’s “Asterisk” – HELL YES!
2. UVERworld’s “D-Technolife” – FUCK YES!
3. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR’s “Ichirin No Hana” – YES!
4. BEAT CRUSADERS “TONIGHT, TONIGHT, TONIGHT” – HELL YES!
5. Yui’s “Rolling Star” – OH MY GOD! IT FEELS SO GOOD!!
6. Aqua Timez’s “Alones” – I JUST CAN’T STOP!
7. Asian Kung Fu Generation’s “After Dark” – WHY CAN’T I STOP?!
8. Kelun’s “CHU-BURA” – SHIT! I JUST GOT A TOWEL!
That sums it up….very through ally.
4. Slayers Series (Slayers & Slayers Try)
Best Opening: “Get Along” by Megumi Hayashibara (THAT’S ALL IT NEEDS, FUCKASS!)
Worst Opening: FUCK YOUR FACE! I WILL KILL YOUR CHILDREN, ASSFUCK!
Okay….I had to cheat a little because there is only one opening per series (Someone correct me on this if I am wrong) but I don’t fucking care. IT IS MEGUMI HAYASHIBARA! She is the Japanese Kristen Chenoweth! That in itself put the Slayers library on here and then you have to remember that “Get Along” may be the most awesome song composed by man. If you don’t think so….I will gouge your fucking eyes out.
3. Yakitate!! Japan
Best Opening: “Promise” by TiA (It makes me smile…)
Worst Opening: Um….you know this one is three for three. I wasn’t a fan of “Houkigumo” by Rythem when I got it from Zach but it grew on me and now I love it.
What Makes It Great: Now I am more of a fan of the ending themes for this show but that shows you how much the opening themes rule your face. All three themes are awesome and the opening sequences in my opinion are the best since the openings for Lupin (THOSE ARE KICKING IT…OLDEST SCHOOL. Almost) and that is saying something. My favorite is STILL “Chiisana Uta” by Maria as there is nothing better than that song in the summertime.
2. Ranma ½
Best Opening: Omoide ga Ippai (The third opening….I so love that song)
Worst Opening: Zettai! (DEBATABLE! I had to pick one so this is the one I could live without.)
What Makes It Great: It is classic! The songs were performed (Almost exclusively) by the seiyuu in the show which is something rarely seen anymore (Lucky Star and Melancholy I believe were the last) and to me makes it worthy of this spot alone. From the series openings to even the OVA openings they ALL RULED YOUR FACE! There were a few that I wasn’t a fan of (Mostly the last three but at that point they kind of pulled a Quantum Leap and strayed WAAAAAAAY too far from the plot) but those that I was a fan of were AWESOME. So why is it at number two? Because there were a few misses in this extensive catalog of music. While the show at number one may shock you….the total body of work KICKS ASS…
1.D. Gray Man
Best Opening: “Innocent Sorrow” by “Abingdon Boys School (Well, this thing is over.)
Worst Opening: Um….well….I guess none so far.
What Makes It Great: Yes, go ahead and be shocked. Most of you may have never watched or heard of D. Gray Man and since I lost my original hard drive I have been catching and have been getting caught up on the manga over the interweb. However, the music is SCANDAL PROOF! There isn’t a weak link in the bunch! First off you have “Innocent Sorrow” by Abingdon Boys School which pretty much locks down number one. Then the big shocker in “Brightdown” by Nami Tamaki. THIS SONG ROCKS YOUR FUCKING FACE! After annoying me with her Gundam songs this completely turned me around to her and even made me pick up her album (Fricking YesAsia…). Then came "Doubt & Trust" by Access and I said to myself “HOLY SHIT! This show is meh but these songs KICK ASS!” because that song does indeed kick ass. Then they bring out the new UVERworld (Third time they are on here, btw) single “Geikido” and all I can say is HELL YES. It is new compared to some of these other shows (GITS, Ranma ½, Initial D, Gundam Series) but it holds its own with four of the most kick ass anime opening themes EVER!
Well, I left out a lot of stuff because there is WAY too much awesomeness to remember. If you have any suggestions feel free to let me know and I will see about making some changes. Until then, I needs me some food. Stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
So today I wanted to try something today that I haven’t done yet. I wanted to do this in 2006 but I just never found the time to do it but I have decided that maybe now is a good time to do so. As you all know, I am a huge fan of the anime and a HUGE fan of the J-Pop. Since they kind of go hand in hand now, there are some songs that can make or break a series to the point that it makes a bad series good (Or watchable in the case of Blood+) or a good series very, VERY bad such as Suzaka (Which I liked but MAN that song sucked ass). So, I decided to rank my favorite opening themes ever! So here is…
Chachi’s Top 10 Anime Series Opening Themes of All Time!!!
First off, this is for a SERIES of openings so the first rule of this ranking is there has to be more than two opening themes for the series. This was hard to do because there are so many series with only one or two opening themes that KICK ASS but to stay fair I had to have some rules to this thing. So, here are some Honorable Mentions (Some would actually top this bad boy if it was just for individual themes):
Neon Genesis Evangelion (I may not have creamed over the show like a lot of anime fans but I have always been a fan of the soundtrack and felt it fit the series well. The Para Para version by Yoko Ishida….AWESOME!)
Cowboy Bebop (Yoko Kanno’s FINEST FUCKING WORK!! “Piano Black” redefined would could be considered an opening. I like everyone else had the initial “What the fuck” moment but after listening I knew this was the mad notes.)
Peach Girl (Fuck you, I likes me some Meg Rock. You don’t like this opening there is something wrong with YOU, fucky!)
Darker Than Black (Abingdon Boys School and Antic Café. NUFF FUCKING SAID, BITCHES!)
Love Hina (Yeah, a little peppy tune that got me in the mood for the series. Little known fact: I am not really a big fan of Love Hina. Tenchi Muyo did it and a lot better, too. But I still give the opening its props)
Lucky Star (Yeah, another song with Aya on it. Yes, I love her and she loves me. That and this song is happy action fun time goodness)
Revoltionary Girl Utena (A little guilty pleasure of mine. Toe tapping goodness although I don’t believe I have seen all of the series)
Air Gear (FUCK YES! BACK-ON IN YOUR MOTHER FUCKING FACE! This was the only reason I watched “Air Gear” and I ended up enjoying it. Now I am a huge fan of the band. See, it can all be cosmic)
Great Teacher Onizuka (Okay, I will admit that I am not a big fan of the second opening theme but “Driver’s High” WILL end up getting me a ticket one of these days. AWESOMENESS!)
Samuari Champaloo (A little biased but “Battlecry” may be my favorite opening EVER. There is nothing but good with this song and really made watching the show at TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING tolerable. Love that jam)
Chobits (FUCK YES. FUCK YES! FUCK YES!!!)
Now there are more that didn’t make the cut and I will get to them another day. Now here are a few mentions for anime with enough openings but JUST didn’t make the cut…
Honorable Mentions!
One Piece (The Japanese version of the music, not that audio rape that was the American rap shit. Yi-yo my fucking fat Black ass. Topped off by D-51’s “Brand New World” which was FUCKING TITS! Best shit ever but even with all the songs they had, still behind some really good stuff)
Gintama (HEARTS GROW, BITCHES! That was later in line, I believe the 4th, but I am all about that opening. Even made me go back and download some original episodes and it was really bad ass from the…three episodes I saw. I kind of suck)
Keroro Gunso (Sgt. Frog is teh awesome when it comes to endings and the openings are great, too. Kind of quirky but what in Japan isn’t?)
Naruto (WHAT?! Okay, let me explain. The openings for Naruto have ranged from AWESOME with Flow and Nobodyknows+ to average with Sambomaster to just ANNOYING with Long Shot Party and that “No Boy, No Cry” song. Which grew on me but you have no idea how much I fucking hated that song so it didn’t move up really far. Besides, shit gets GOOD from this point out.
Urusei Yatsura (KICKING IT OLD SCHOOL! This was one of the first anime I saw when I returned to the states and albeit was about 10 years old I was in LOVE with the opening themes. “Lum’s No Love Song” was fucking bad ass!)
Eureka Seven (Tough name to pronounce, kick ass music to listen to. From Flow to Nirgilis the music was the only reason I got into the show.
There are more that deserve recognition and if you have some that deserve shout out in your opinion let me know. Until then, let’s get this thing started!!
THE TOP TEN!
10. Full Metal Alchemist
Best Opening: “Ready Steady Go!” by L’Arc~en~Ciel
Worst Opening: “Undo” by Cool Joke
What Makes It Great: As one who was getting this ALMOST when it was coming out in Japan and being subbed and distributed via MiRC (OLD SCHOOL) I was all over this anime and “Melissa” by Porno Grafitti is the only reason I know the five words of Japanese I know now. “Rewrite” by AKFG is arguably my favorite song by them and the only real weak like is Cool Joke’s “Undo” because after The Arc…you gotta come hard. Still a great library.
9. Blood+
Best Opening: “Season’s Call” by Hyde (ARGUABLE!!!)
Worst Opening: “Raion” by Jinn
What Makes It Great: The four openings were the ONLY REASON I sat through this fucking show. Eat my ass I thought Blood+ was boring as shit when it was dubbed and the sub was only marginally better because Diva was creepy. “Aozora no Namida” was a great way to begin the series seeing as how it made you forget the SHOW HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MOVIE IT FUCKING CAME FROM. “Colors Of The Heart” was your standard UVERworld goodness (they are on here a few times…get used to it) and even though I didn’t like “Raion” it grows on you after a while. Too bad the show sucks too much to care. Just get the CD and skip the show.
8. Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex
Best Opening: Inner Universe (AWESOME!)
Worst Opening: Christmas in the Silent Forest (NOT QUITE AS AWESOME!)
What Makes It Great: I have been about trance since my old school rave days and it was interesting to see how much of the music from the initial movie made it into the few all-nighters in Aurora I went to back in the day. All I have to say is that “Inner Universe” is the model that shows like Gantz and Elfen Lied should have used to build their music rather than the crap they used. RADIOHEAD?! Fuck off! Sadly there are only three opening themes but the in-show music is well worth the listen.
7. Initial D
Best Opening: “Noizy Tride” (I don’t know why….I love this song)
Worst Opening: “Noizy Tride” (This was the ONLY SONG THAT PLAYED in the fucking video game at the mall. Personally pettiness I admit.)
What Makes It Great: Okay, I will admit I didn’t really like Initial D the SHOW but I was a fan of the soundtrack. I used to play the game all the time in college (Where I was instead of meeting ladies but Initial D doesn’t judge me) and the soundtrack LITERALLY rocked the Citadel Mall. Thumping for your ass! Now the music much like the show is an acquired taste and I haven’t seen many episodes (Just five at Zach’s house and maybe three at Ted’s during an Invader Zim marathon break) and I wasn’t impressed by what I saw. But the music is massive! Restecpa!
6. Gundam Series (Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny, Gundam_00, Gundam Wing)
Best Opening: “IGNITED” BY TM REVOLUTION, BITCHES!! FEEL THE AWESOME!!
Worst Opening: You know I have never been a fan of “Our Whereabouts” by Hitomi Takahashi.
What Makes It Great: Now Gundam the SHOW has always been hit or miss for me. I kind of liked Seed, DESPISED Wing and was indifferent about Destiny (I LOVED Gundam_00, BTW until the decided to license it). What puts it at number six is that it is either really AWESOME or really just bad. I love TM Revolution’s openings (“Invoke” and “Ignited”) as well as L`Arc~en~Ciel’s “DAYBREAK’S BELL” but Nami Tamaki’s older work was not my cup of tea and I felt it didn’t really…fit. She picks herself up later though. Really great catalog of work in the Gundam series.
5. Bleach
Best Opening: (TIE) “Alones” by Aqua Timez and “D-Technolife” by UVERworld
Worst Opening: I guess “Ichirin No Hana” by HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR. Once again, this is a reach.
What Makes It Great: Well, you knew this was going to end up here. Let’s just break it down:
1. Orange Range’s “Asterisk” – HELL YES!
2. UVERworld’s “D-Technolife” – FUCK YES!
3. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR’s “Ichirin No Hana” – YES!
4. BEAT CRUSADERS “TONIGHT, TONIGHT, TONIGHT” – HELL YES!
5. Yui’s “Rolling Star” – OH MY GOD! IT FEELS SO GOOD!!
6. Aqua Timez’s “Alones” – I JUST CAN’T STOP!
7. Asian Kung Fu Generation’s “After Dark” – WHY CAN’T I STOP?!
8. Kelun’s “CHU-BURA” – SHIT! I JUST GOT A TOWEL!
That sums it up….very through ally.
4. Slayers Series (Slayers & Slayers Try)
Best Opening: “Get Along” by Megumi Hayashibara (THAT’S ALL IT NEEDS, FUCKASS!)
Worst Opening: FUCK YOUR FACE! I WILL KILL YOUR CHILDREN, ASSFUCK!
Okay….I had to cheat a little because there is only one opening per series (Someone correct me on this if I am wrong) but I don’t fucking care. IT IS MEGUMI HAYASHIBARA! She is the Japanese Kristen Chenoweth! That in itself put the Slayers library on here and then you have to remember that “Get Along” may be the most awesome song composed by man. If you don’t think so….I will gouge your fucking eyes out.
3. Yakitate!! Japan
Best Opening: “Promise” by TiA (It makes me smile…)
Worst Opening: Um….you know this one is three for three. I wasn’t a fan of “Houkigumo” by Rythem when I got it from Zach but it grew on me and now I love it.
What Makes It Great: Now I am more of a fan of the ending themes for this show but that shows you how much the opening themes rule your face. All three themes are awesome and the opening sequences in my opinion are the best since the openings for Lupin (THOSE ARE KICKING IT…OLDEST SCHOOL. Almost) and that is saying something. My favorite is STILL “Chiisana Uta” by Maria as there is nothing better than that song in the summertime.
2. Ranma ½
Best Opening: Omoide ga Ippai (The third opening….I so love that song)
Worst Opening: Zettai! (DEBATABLE! I had to pick one so this is the one I could live without.)
What Makes It Great: It is classic! The songs were performed (Almost exclusively) by the seiyuu in the show which is something rarely seen anymore (Lucky Star and Melancholy I believe were the last) and to me makes it worthy of this spot alone. From the series openings to even the OVA openings they ALL RULED YOUR FACE! There were a few that I wasn’t a fan of (Mostly the last three but at that point they kind of pulled a Quantum Leap and strayed WAAAAAAAY too far from the plot) but those that I was a fan of were AWESOME. So why is it at number two? Because there were a few misses in this extensive catalog of music. While the show at number one may shock you….the total body of work KICKS ASS…
1.D. Gray Man
Best Opening: “Innocent Sorrow” by “Abingdon Boys School (Well, this thing is over.)
Worst Opening: Um….well….I guess none so far.
What Makes It Great: Yes, go ahead and be shocked. Most of you may have never watched or heard of D. Gray Man and since I lost my original hard drive I have been catching and have been getting caught up on the manga over the interweb. However, the music is SCANDAL PROOF! There isn’t a weak link in the bunch! First off you have “Innocent Sorrow” by Abingdon Boys School which pretty much locks down number one. Then the big shocker in “Brightdown” by Nami Tamaki. THIS SONG ROCKS YOUR FUCKING FACE! After annoying me with her Gundam songs this completely turned me around to her and even made me pick up her album (Fricking YesAsia…). Then came "Doubt & Trust" by Access and I said to myself “HOLY SHIT! This show is meh but these songs KICK ASS!” because that song does indeed kick ass. Then they bring out the new UVERworld (Third time they are on here, btw) single “Geikido” and all I can say is HELL YES. It is new compared to some of these other shows (GITS, Ranma ½, Initial D, Gundam Series) but it holds its own with four of the most kick ass anime opening themes EVER!
Well, I left out a lot of stuff because there is WAY too much awesomeness to remember. If you have any suggestions feel free to let me know and I will see about making some changes. Until then, I needs me some food. Stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Alcohol: Helping Women Think They Can Dance Since....Betsy Ross?
What is up, people?! I am back on the scene and boy today was fucked up. I got a crack in my winshield and I am not sure when because it wasn’t there this morning and I saw it when I got off of work. Nothing pisses me off more than a cracked windshield and this will be the second one I have had on a car while I WASN’T EVEN DRIVING IT. Fuck me standing sideways, I am so pissed off about that.
I couldn’t stay mad for too long because my show is back in exactly THREE DAYS! Thursday night, if anyone is down, I have the grandest idea EVER. I was thinking about it while looking at liquor today and it hit me. So I give to the peeps, my next great idea….
America’s Best Dance Crew’s Drinking Game Extravaganza!!!
So a lot of these are in progress and I hope to have something officially set up by Week 2 (Maybe week Three, it’s going to be a minimum of 11 weeks this season) where we the fans can put this in action. However, here are some of my ideas:
ABDC Drinking Game 1: Head Spin Shooting Spree!
So this one is going to be simple: whenever someone does a headspin, you take a shot. Plain and simple. This will be rough when the breakers come on but that is the point of a drinking game: to get stone cold blitzed! My second idea was to slam a random bomb (Non-Jager) before the headspin was finished but like I said this is a work in progress. Besides, did you see that headspin Chris from Jaba did in the season finale? That would be like 4 Tuaca Bombs! SIGN ME UP!
ABDC Drinking Game 2: Too Drunk To Function!
This is a two-fold game: whenever JC says or is on screen dressed in something that is so gay it fucks up your reception, you have to take a drink. I would say a shot but….he is way too gay for a shot each time he says something or is seen wearing something fruit-tastic. I mean I am doing this for fun, not to get drunkenly groped by the ladies. Been there, done that, had the herpes scares (Ugh….more than three) to prove it). I like this one because you could even be forced to drink a frou frou drink. Appletini anyone? It’s fabooo!
ABDC Drinking Game 3: Lil’ Mama Must Be Drunk!
Okay, I am looking forward to this one. Every time Lil Mama butchers the English language (Which is a WHOLE-FUCKING-LOT) a drink has to be taken. Again, a shot is WAAAAAAAAAY too much for her poor grammar and like I said before this isn’t about alcohol poisoning. This is about enjoying the greatest show about dancing since Fame!
I want to live forever!
ABDC Drinking Game 4: Let The Past Go, Man!
This one is interesting. Whenever a crew is either compared to or takes a move from a previous dance crew you have to take a shot. This won’t happen a lot which is why a shot is in order…unless you are Soul Selection who will steal everything Jaba ever did and try to improve on it because they are that damn brash. Also, if a crew takes a move that another one does on THE SAME EPISODE and does it better, everyone takes a shot and yells “YOU GOT SERVED!” I just want to yell that is all.
Those are just a few of my ideas. They aren’t very well thought out or….good but I just thought it would be something fun for the legal people out there. Not that I would do any of these. I have found religion now. Everyone, bow your heads and pretend to be serious. Please turn to the Book of Diz from the Church of The New Guy:
You looking at my Janet?!
Oh, one last thing. As you all know, last week R. Kelly was found not guilty of (Among other things) sexual misconduct with a minor and premeditated urination. Now I for one hoped beyond hope this dumb ass nigga would go to jail if for nothing else then for being a dumbass. However, he has gotten off and that is something I and the youth of America will have to accept. With that being said…
WHAT IN THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH AMERICA?!
Listen, I never thought that he was innocent at any point in time given his track record. I also felt that that dumb ass girl needed to move out of the way if she didn’t want to be peed on. This is part of a larger problem: people videotaping themselves having sex. Now maybe it is just sour grapes because everyone else has had more sex than me. Oooohhhhh. Even with that being a little true (Not much, gone this long without going to the GOOD promised land and I haven’t killed anyone) I really am getting sick of people saying their privacy was invaded when they took the time out to FILM THEMSELVES HAVING SEX. Sometimes with a minor to whom I say Rob Lowe YOU ARE GOD….I mean bad. When you film yourself having sex you are pretty much withdrawing the right to say you are violated should that take be shown to the public. Now if it is filmed without your consent that is completely different as you agreed to nothing and that is pretty much voyeurism…which I have NEVER engaged in. Today, anyway. When you film acts like this, with a MINOR no less you are unable to claim violation of any form. The only people violated were the people that paid for the bootleg of that cassette because it was NOT worth the $25 people paid for it. Not that I have seen it or anything….but that was him. Mole my ass, R. Kelly is a god damn pisser and we let him loose to let loose on children. Lock up your daughters, R. Kelly is free and ready to pee:
Nasty nigga. I am so out of here. I will be back up tomorrow. ABDC on THURSDAY!!! DON’T MISS IT!
Chachi Out.
I couldn’t stay mad for too long because my show is back in exactly THREE DAYS! Thursday night, if anyone is down, I have the grandest idea EVER. I was thinking about it while looking at liquor today and it hit me. So I give to the peeps, my next great idea….
America’s Best Dance Crew’s Drinking Game Extravaganza!!!
So a lot of these are in progress and I hope to have something officially set up by Week 2 (Maybe week Three, it’s going to be a minimum of 11 weeks this season) where we the fans can put this in action. However, here are some of my ideas:
ABDC Drinking Game 1: Head Spin Shooting Spree!
So this one is going to be simple: whenever someone does a headspin, you take a shot. Plain and simple. This will be rough when the breakers come on but that is the point of a drinking game: to get stone cold blitzed! My second idea was to slam a random bomb (Non-Jager) before the headspin was finished but like I said this is a work in progress. Besides, did you see that headspin Chris from Jaba did in the season finale? That would be like 4 Tuaca Bombs! SIGN ME UP!
ABDC Drinking Game 2: Too Drunk To Function!
This is a two-fold game: whenever JC says or is on screen dressed in something that is so gay it fucks up your reception, you have to take a drink. I would say a shot but….he is way too gay for a shot each time he says something or is seen wearing something fruit-tastic. I mean I am doing this for fun, not to get drunkenly groped by the ladies. Been there, done that, had the herpes scares (Ugh….more than three) to prove it). I like this one because you could even be forced to drink a frou frou drink. Appletini anyone? It’s fabooo!
ABDC Drinking Game 3: Lil’ Mama Must Be Drunk!
Okay, I am looking forward to this one. Every time Lil Mama butchers the English language (Which is a WHOLE-FUCKING-LOT) a drink has to be taken. Again, a shot is WAAAAAAAAAY too much for her poor grammar and like I said before this isn’t about alcohol poisoning. This is about enjoying the greatest show about dancing since Fame!
I want to live forever!
ABDC Drinking Game 4: Let The Past Go, Man!
This one is interesting. Whenever a crew is either compared to or takes a move from a previous dance crew you have to take a shot. This won’t happen a lot which is why a shot is in order…unless you are Soul Selection who will steal everything Jaba ever did and try to improve on it because they are that damn brash. Also, if a crew takes a move that another one does on THE SAME EPISODE and does it better, everyone takes a shot and yells “YOU GOT SERVED!” I just want to yell that is all.
Those are just a few of my ideas. They aren’t very well thought out or….good but I just thought it would be something fun for the legal people out there. Not that I would do any of these. I have found religion now. Everyone, bow your heads and pretend to be serious. Please turn to the Book of Diz from the Church of The New Guy:
You looking at my Janet?!
Oh, one last thing. As you all know, last week R. Kelly was found not guilty of (Among other things) sexual misconduct with a minor and premeditated urination. Now I for one hoped beyond hope this dumb ass nigga would go to jail if for nothing else then for being a dumbass. However, he has gotten off and that is something I and the youth of America will have to accept. With that being said…
WHAT IN THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH AMERICA?!
Listen, I never thought that he was innocent at any point in time given his track record. I also felt that that dumb ass girl needed to move out of the way if she didn’t want to be peed on. This is part of a larger problem: people videotaping themselves having sex. Now maybe it is just sour grapes because everyone else has had more sex than me. Oooohhhhh. Even with that being a little true (Not much, gone this long without going to the GOOD promised land and I haven’t killed anyone) I really am getting sick of people saying their privacy was invaded when they took the time out to FILM THEMSELVES HAVING SEX. Sometimes with a minor to whom I say Rob Lowe YOU ARE GOD….I mean bad. When you film yourself having sex you are pretty much withdrawing the right to say you are violated should that take be shown to the public. Now if it is filmed without your consent that is completely different as you agreed to nothing and that is pretty much voyeurism…which I have NEVER engaged in. Today, anyway. When you film acts like this, with a MINOR no less you are unable to claim violation of any form. The only people violated were the people that paid for the bootleg of that cassette because it was NOT worth the $25 people paid for it. Not that I have seen it or anything….but that was him. Mole my ass, R. Kelly is a god damn pisser and we let him loose to let loose on children. Lock up your daughters, R. Kelly is free and ready to pee:
Nasty nigga. I am so out of here. I will be back up tomorrow. ABDC on THURSDAY!!! DON’T MISS IT!
Chachi Out.
Monday, June 16, 2008
The Dream Will Never Die....
So after having two members leave the band, I have decided to move on. A2B is back in effect! The boy band of the new generation is back like cooked crack! New members and a new sound! Problem is....there are only TWO members now (Three if you count Joey...which I cant because I dont think he can sing or dance) which means that we could only be at best Wham! which isn’t BAD but you know....we're straight.
With that being said, I am open to new members. Preferably Asians because we are totally going after that Big Bang/Rain/Se7en crowd overseas. Also, I need to get up on my funky fresh dance moves. This band is going to be all about getting loose. To accomplish this, I am going to need to recruit new members. We could also use another Black guy; those are in after the whole Obama running for President. Also, because of a little EEO situation in my hiring practices from 2007, the courts have decided that not only do I have to put a NEGRO in my group I also have to bring in a skirt. Yes, there may be a female member in A2B. So ladies, when I hold auditions you are free and able to join in. Only if you dance and look like this:
If you can, you are officially the most talented and you are IN. If you are Namie Amuro….I LOVE YOU.
I know having a female member defeats the term "boy band" but hey, I'm all about the dream. The dream of being knee deep in Japanese schoolgirls. Is that so wrong? No. Illegal in the US and A, yes....but not wrong in Japan. More details coming soon but know this….
A2B IS BACK, BABY!
With that being said, I am open to new members. Preferably Asians because we are totally going after that Big Bang/Rain/Se7en crowd overseas. Also, I need to get up on my funky fresh dance moves. This band is going to be all about getting loose. To accomplish this, I am going to need to recruit new members. We could also use another Black guy; those are in after the whole Obama running for President. Also, because of a little EEO situation in my hiring practices from 2007, the courts have decided that not only do I have to put a NEGRO in my group I also have to bring in a skirt. Yes, there may be a female member in A2B. So ladies, when I hold auditions you are free and able to join in. Only if you dance and look like this:
If you can, you are officially the most talented and you are IN. If you are Namie Amuro….I LOVE YOU.
I know having a female member defeats the term "boy band" but hey, I'm all about the dream. The dream of being knee deep in Japanese schoolgirls. Is that so wrong? No. Illegal in the US and A, yes....but not wrong in Japan. More details coming soon but know this….
A2B IS BACK, BABY!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Chachi Don't Dance, He Boogie!
Happy Father’s Day to all the peeps out there with children! Which is like….two of you….and you are doing an excellent job! Let’s get rid of the babymama’s out there without killing them, I mean. The father is a lost art out there, as is the mother for the same reason. People don’t understand that when you have a child you are officially starting up a business for 18 years and if you have poor business practices your business will not get off the ground. Same with children. Think about that before having sex with someone that you think won’t be a good boyfriend/girlfriend, let alone parent. The fam is important, peeps. One luv on that one. Not to be a downer, so you know what to do. Find your daddy and tell him big ups for teaching you and the whatnot.
With that being said…..
AMERICA’S BEST DANCE CREW IS BACK THIS THURSDAY!!
Can I get a FUCK YEAH?! The best TV show of the season is back and all I can say is IT’S ON! All reality shows can bow down to the greatness that is ABDC next week as the crews are back and ready to join the Jaba as ABDC winners! Now I have heard people out there have the utter and complete audacity to even COMPARE ABDC with a shitty little show called “So You Think You Can Dance” to which I say NIGGA PLEASE! The only thing that “So You Think You Can Dance” is better that ABDC at is sucking floppy equestrian wang. Now I will admit I have only see one episode of the show and it was the “Too Much Booty In The Pants” dance which was AWESOME but the rest of the show was not. If I wanted to see people dance pretentiously I would watch ballroom dancing on PBS. I mean, it would be cool if they kicked it Bob Fosse-style:
Since that show will NEVER do anything that kick ass it will never equal the “You Got Served” meets “Breakin II: Electric Boogaloo” awesomeness that is ABDC. However, there is something that I have to comment on. On a scale of 1-10…how GAY is J.C. Chasez? Seriously, he is the gayest gay since Gayzor the gay Dragon attack the town of Gayvania and was locked away by the gay knight in the Uber-Gay Mountains for 1,000 gay years. The man wore a fucking kerchief! How in the FUCK do you leave the house in a kerchief unless you are Hank Venture? Gawd, he freaks me out. Don’t even get me started on “Saved By The Gay” Mario Lopez:
My god that dude is as gay as Kansas City in the springtime. They really need to replace the judges. I mean what the fuck does Lil Mama know about dancing? Did you SEE the “Lip Gloss” video? That bitch is as good a dancer as LaToya Jackson. And she looks like her two with her 38 year old ass. The only thing Lil about Lil Mama is her talent. BURN, BITCH! Shane Sparks can stay because he is the only normal person on the show and JC can stay if he promises to bring a fire extinguisher to put out the gay balls of fire in his pants because his gay is fucking up my reception. That is coming from someone that loves the theater and disco, people. As for Lil Mama, she needs to fucking go. She can’t even speak English for shits sake! That bitch is worthless and gives no insight whatsoever! I mean you already have a chick in JC (Who is gay enough to be two chicks, a gay man and a talking hamster named Mr. Fluffles) so if you need to replace her with a female bring one with dancing talent. Maybe give me some Ciara or…be still my beating heart..BoA:
Lil Mama WISHES she could dance like that. I still say they keep Shane, replace Lil Mama with another more talented female artist (Maybe Kumi Koda? She has been working on her English and doesn’t sound bad at all) and either add a fourth or replace JC with the ultimate dance. The one…the only…
MC HAMMER!
I said it here first: you cannot have a dance show with THE HAMMAH!! Proper. This year’s crop of crews isn’t as top heavy as last year because it pretty much was:
1. Jabawockeez (Yes, they were already in “Step Up 2: The Streets” but they KILLED IT. Literally. I call them “Phil Spektor” from this point forward.)
2. Status Quo (I place them above Kaba Modern because they made the finals and they got better as the contest went on. Jaba was already better than everyone and Kaba never really changed while Stat Quo got better and cleaner every week and showed pure growth.)
3. Kaba Modern (Actually “2A” but they really just didn’t SURPRISE anyone as much as they did what they did very well. SLIGHTLY behind Status Quo because they did very little stunt work and didn’t really add to their routines. Even still, they and SQ are interchangeable. And I love Yuri. Don’t cry, I still love you!!)
4. Live In Color (THEY WERE FUCKING ROBBED! Their performance to “Bombs Over Baghdad” was the best performance of the season OF ANY CREW and the judges know it. Politics or whatever, I believe that we were robbed of a KICK ASS final four matchup because that would have made my head explode.)
5. Everyone Else (Yes, you all fell down here. Not a BAD thing but please understand: last year’s ABDC was like the NFC in the 90’s. You had three great teams (49ers, Cowboys, Packers) and one team that sometimes brought it’s A game (Varied). The rest battled for the Wildcard spots. Especially Fysh ‘N Chicks and BreakSk8. You both robbed Live In Color IMHO, but that is why democracy doesn’t fucking work.)
This season everything is rather even. A few West Coast crews have the edge and Distorted X looks to be a good dark horse pick. Fanny Pak needs to NOT FUCKING BE THERE as they are the William Hung of ABDC. Yeah, I said it. I personally liked Full Effect because big people are representin, mofos! It was not to be, though. Xtreme Dance Force is actually VERY good but look too bro’d out for my taste (Can’t call a do-over because of too much scotch and bro rape the night before) while Supreme Soul looks to be the winner of this thing so MTV can have a “You Got Served” type rematch between the supposed rivals. You don’t see Ruben and Clay matching up in a sing-off, do you? Although I would pay to see the Gelfling face off against the Velvet Teddy Bear. If the Boogie Bots (GREATEST. NAME. EVER.) step up and stop being Kaba Modern V.2 then we could be in business. I just don’t want SassX7 to get farther than the second week. Shhh! was better by far but since MTV needs to get that elusive drunken whore audience (Which I thought was on lockdown with Tila Tequila and The Hills but I guess whores actually watch more shows than that when they aren’t drinking or swallowing) guarantee that SassX7 gets past them. Oh, and no handi-capables so if A.S.I.I.D wins then I will fucking revolt. Oh, and I am officially pulling a Barack Obama NOT backing my candidate yet. However I will say I am a fan of SoReal Crew. But I say nothing yet. You will know my pick before the premier! Stay tuned!!
Well, that is all for now. Watching the repeat of the ABDC Casting Special (Can you tell?!) but I will be back tomorrow. Until then, stay up. And happy father’s day!
Chachi Out.
With that being said…..
AMERICA’S BEST DANCE CREW IS BACK THIS THURSDAY!!
Can I get a FUCK YEAH?! The best TV show of the season is back and all I can say is IT’S ON! All reality shows can bow down to the greatness that is ABDC next week as the crews are back and ready to join the Jaba as ABDC winners! Now I have heard people out there have the utter and complete audacity to even COMPARE ABDC with a shitty little show called “So You Think You Can Dance” to which I say NIGGA PLEASE! The only thing that “So You Think You Can Dance” is better that ABDC at is sucking floppy equestrian wang. Now I will admit I have only see one episode of the show and it was the “Too Much Booty In The Pants” dance which was AWESOME but the rest of the show was not. If I wanted to see people dance pretentiously I would watch ballroom dancing on PBS. I mean, it would be cool if they kicked it Bob Fosse-style:
Since that show will NEVER do anything that kick ass it will never equal the “You Got Served” meets “Breakin II: Electric Boogaloo” awesomeness that is ABDC. However, there is something that I have to comment on. On a scale of 1-10…how GAY is J.C. Chasez? Seriously, he is the gayest gay since Gayzor the gay Dragon attack the town of Gayvania and was locked away by the gay knight in the Uber-Gay Mountains for 1,000 gay years. The man wore a fucking kerchief! How in the FUCK do you leave the house in a kerchief unless you are Hank Venture? Gawd, he freaks me out. Don’t even get me started on “Saved By The Gay” Mario Lopez:
My god that dude is as gay as Kansas City in the springtime. They really need to replace the judges. I mean what the fuck does Lil Mama know about dancing? Did you SEE the “Lip Gloss” video? That bitch is as good a dancer as LaToya Jackson. And she looks like her two with her 38 year old ass. The only thing Lil about Lil Mama is her talent. BURN, BITCH! Shane Sparks can stay because he is the only normal person on the show and JC can stay if he promises to bring a fire extinguisher to put out the gay balls of fire in his pants because his gay is fucking up my reception. That is coming from someone that loves the theater and disco, people. As for Lil Mama, she needs to fucking go. She can’t even speak English for shits sake! That bitch is worthless and gives no insight whatsoever! I mean you already have a chick in JC (Who is gay enough to be two chicks, a gay man and a talking hamster named Mr. Fluffles) so if you need to replace her with a female bring one with dancing talent. Maybe give me some Ciara or…be still my beating heart..BoA:
Lil Mama WISHES she could dance like that. I still say they keep Shane, replace Lil Mama with another more talented female artist (Maybe Kumi Koda? She has been working on her English and doesn’t sound bad at all) and either add a fourth or replace JC with the ultimate dance. The one…the only…
MC HAMMER!
I said it here first: you cannot have a dance show with THE HAMMAH!! Proper. This year’s crop of crews isn’t as top heavy as last year because it pretty much was:
1. Jabawockeez (Yes, they were already in “Step Up 2: The Streets” but they KILLED IT. Literally. I call them “Phil Spektor” from this point forward.)
2. Status Quo (I place them above Kaba Modern because they made the finals and they got better as the contest went on. Jaba was already better than everyone and Kaba never really changed while Stat Quo got better and cleaner every week and showed pure growth.)
3. Kaba Modern (Actually “2A” but they really just didn’t SURPRISE anyone as much as they did what they did very well. SLIGHTLY behind Status Quo because they did very little stunt work and didn’t really add to their routines. Even still, they and SQ are interchangeable. And I love Yuri. Don’t cry, I still love you!!)
4. Live In Color (THEY WERE FUCKING ROBBED! Their performance to “Bombs Over Baghdad” was the best performance of the season OF ANY CREW and the judges know it. Politics or whatever, I believe that we were robbed of a KICK ASS final four matchup because that would have made my head explode.)
5. Everyone Else (Yes, you all fell down here. Not a BAD thing but please understand: last year’s ABDC was like the NFC in the 90’s. You had three great teams (49ers, Cowboys, Packers) and one team that sometimes brought it’s A game (Varied). The rest battled for the Wildcard spots. Especially Fysh ‘N Chicks and BreakSk8. You both robbed Live In Color IMHO, but that is why democracy doesn’t fucking work.)
This season everything is rather even. A few West Coast crews have the edge and Distorted X looks to be a good dark horse pick. Fanny Pak needs to NOT FUCKING BE THERE as they are the William Hung of ABDC. Yeah, I said it. I personally liked Full Effect because big people are representin, mofos! It was not to be, though. Xtreme Dance Force is actually VERY good but look too bro’d out for my taste (Can’t call a do-over because of too much scotch and bro rape the night before) while Supreme Soul looks to be the winner of this thing so MTV can have a “You Got Served” type rematch between the supposed rivals. You don’t see Ruben and Clay matching up in a sing-off, do you? Although I would pay to see the Gelfling face off against the Velvet Teddy Bear. If the Boogie Bots (GREATEST. NAME. EVER.) step up and stop being Kaba Modern V.2 then we could be in business. I just don’t want SassX7 to get farther than the second week. Shhh! was better by far but since MTV needs to get that elusive drunken whore audience (Which I thought was on lockdown with Tila Tequila and The Hills but I guess whores actually watch more shows than that when they aren’t drinking or swallowing) guarantee that SassX7 gets past them. Oh, and no handi-capables so if A.S.I.I.D wins then I will fucking revolt. Oh, and I am officially pulling a Barack Obama NOT backing my candidate yet. However I will say I am a fan of SoReal Crew. But I say nothing yet. You will know my pick before the premier! Stay tuned!!
Well, that is all for now. Watching the repeat of the ABDC Casting Special (Can you tell?!) but I will be back tomorrow. Until then, stay up. And happy father’s day!
Chachi Out.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
To Learn Is Human. To Get Funky....That's Godly.
So “The Incredible Hulk” was FUCKING AWESOME. I will try to have a full review tomorrow with it’s pros and cons. As a comic book movie I have to put it number two all time, ahead of Iron Man and JUST BEHIND Batman Begins. It was told that damn well. However, as a movie it was by the numbers and did little to sway from the Hulk mythos or what was expected while Iron Man took the risk of focusing on Tony Stark than the suit (Created a great mix). In comparison to Iron Man, Batman Begins and Spiderman it wasn’t as good of a movie overall. But it was FUCKING AWESOME. See it now, fuck a review.
So in between the Hulk movie, Lil Wayne’s album and the spraining of my ankle (Which doesn’t hurt as bad and isn’t swollen so I hope it’s okay) I learned a lot last week. So now, it is time for an installment on the Passion of Chachi that I haven’t done in almost two years…
I Learned Something Today!
I Learned That….Wine Is Okay.
I have never really been a wine guy. Four years in Italy will do that to you but even still if it didn’t come from Eastern Europe or Mother Russia I was not about it alcohol-wise. After the last two-and-a-half years I have finally gotten a taste for it (White wine, anyway. Red wine and I don’t get along after the PF Chang’s incident. Waste of a fly-ass shirt) and after Thursday I REALLY got a taste for it…about 8 or so glasses worth. At least that was the count before I said “Pfft, counting is for vampires” and just went to town. Part of the reason I am limping around. Hey, I enjoyed myself and that is all that matters.
I Learned That…..Maybe, Love IS A Very Splendid Thing?
*Sigh* what I thought was loathing is actually….unloathing? I refuse to say love because love is for suckers but…you never know. Too bad she sees me as more of a “stalker” than anything else but since that is half-truth I am not that upset about it. The cover of night is the ally of a true man of unrequited love.
I Learned That….What In The Fuck Am I Talking About? Love Stinks.
What do you call a woman that loves The Big Lebowski, watches ABDC (America’s Best Dance Crew for the losers out there), and insults a bro to his face (AWESOME!)? Married. Yep….that’s what you get when you let your heart win. See, still waters run deep!
I Learned That….People Are FUCKING IDIOTS.
WHY IN THE FUCK IS R. KELLY NOT IN JAIL?! After FINALLY going to trial so the King of R & Pee could get his comeuppance, he is instead found not guilty. Are you fucking kidding me? Screw the evidence, screw niggas thinking he is being railroaded by the White man (White man didn’t put that little girl in his room!) and screw the fact she is older than me now. Let’s use logic here: he has a history of doing improper acts with children from Aaliyah (THEY WERE FUCKING MARRIED, PEOPLE!) to that girl he reportedly made have an abortion (Which rules because it goes in line with my anti-baby policies) at FIFTEEN YEARS OLD. Now say what you will about my schoolgirl jokes but at least I am going to go where it isn’t looked down upon. In America, we do NOT believe in fucking minors on camera….unless you piss on them. This set a bad precedent and pretty much means NAMBLA and the Catholic Church (Or as I call them THE SAME FUCKING THING) will now begin to pee on little boys. Slippery slope my ass, only thing slippery about this situation will be your daughters because R. Kelly is free and is about to pee. That nigga is a pedophile and a pisser and I hope he dies slow. Fuck you, America. Fuck you in your child pisser supporting asses.
I Learned That….Religion Is What You Make Of It. Which Makes It Bullshit.
So I am beginning to realize that people who believe that their religion is the only true religion are either fucking retarded or batshit crazy. Understand something right here and right now: if you believe in Christianity and you don’t follow the bible to the fucking tee you are going to hell. End of story. If you think the bible is up for your own interpretation then you are mishandling and reshaping the “word” of God and the “teachings” of Jesus Christ which makes you the worst kind of sinner. You are not only taking the lords word in vain you are taking his words and making them your own which is the ULTIMATE NO-NO. I am sick of you cockamamie religious fucks that say “I am spiritual about my faith” and “I use the bible to guide my life, I don’t take it literally” because by NOT being in full belief about your faith and NOT using the bible and its nonsensical stories to guide your life IN ITS LITERAL SENSE you are NOT following the word. You are just as bad as me and I personally despise the concept of Jesus Christ. Fuck him; he was a loud-mouthed, impeccably kempt (I will admit, that hair was FABOO), self-righteous, disco loving Jew that needed to keep his fucking mouth shut. I know it, the Romans knew it, the Jews knew it and most importantly you all know it. All religion is bullshit but Christianity wins the kewpie doll for asshatery because they claim to be the only true religion and yet there are multiple sects that all say the other is wrong because they aren’t like them. Christians hate Catholics, Catholics hate Christians and they ALL hate Mormons which makes little sense because at least a real Mormon will tell you the Book of Mormon is bullshit. It is a vehicle that helps them appreciate family, gives them grounding in understand how things may have been and helps them get that cash money because even poor Mormons are ballin. The simple fact is that more has been done to discredit the TRUTH of the events in the bible than to prove the stories happened. However, that is not to discount what it means to people. I always say that if something makes you a better person then by all means go for it. If you find that solace in the bible then great, just don’t tell me the shit REALLY happened because if it did the events would contradict every action that happened in every other book of worship. Hell, it would contradict what happened in the OLD FUCKING TESTAMENT! BTW, if the fact there is a NEW TESTAMENT isn’t enough to cast some doubt about the plausibility of the stories actually being true then you really are not a logical being and there is no help for you. Might as well put on a yellow suit, run around with your arms in the air and call yourself “banana man” because that what you are doing. Follow the word and let it advance YOU, leave me out of your bullshit and stop sounding like a douche by trying to convince the world the all the shit actually happened.
I learned some more, but those were the big ones. I will try to be up tomorrow with The Incredible Hulk review and a rant but I dunno yet. I have been on this for almost 30 days straight. May need a day break. You never know. Until next time, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
So in between the Hulk movie, Lil Wayne’s album and the spraining of my ankle (Which doesn’t hurt as bad and isn’t swollen so I hope it’s okay) I learned a lot last week. So now, it is time for an installment on the Passion of Chachi that I haven’t done in almost two years…
I Learned Something Today!
I Learned That….Wine Is Okay.
I have never really been a wine guy. Four years in Italy will do that to you but even still if it didn’t come from Eastern Europe or Mother Russia I was not about it alcohol-wise. After the last two-and-a-half years I have finally gotten a taste for it (White wine, anyway. Red wine and I don’t get along after the PF Chang’s incident. Waste of a fly-ass shirt) and after Thursday I REALLY got a taste for it…about 8 or so glasses worth. At least that was the count before I said “Pfft, counting is for vampires” and just went to town. Part of the reason I am limping around. Hey, I enjoyed myself and that is all that matters.
I Learned That…..Maybe, Love IS A Very Splendid Thing?
*Sigh* what I thought was loathing is actually….unloathing? I refuse to say love because love is for suckers but…you never know. Too bad she sees me as more of a “stalker” than anything else but since that is half-truth I am not that upset about it. The cover of night is the ally of a true man of unrequited love.
I Learned That….What In The Fuck Am I Talking About? Love Stinks.
What do you call a woman that loves The Big Lebowski, watches ABDC (America’s Best Dance Crew for the losers out there), and insults a bro to his face (AWESOME!)? Married. Yep….that’s what you get when you let your heart win. See, still waters run deep!
I Learned That….People Are FUCKING IDIOTS.
WHY IN THE FUCK IS R. KELLY NOT IN JAIL?! After FINALLY going to trial so the King of R & Pee could get his comeuppance, he is instead found not guilty. Are you fucking kidding me? Screw the evidence, screw niggas thinking he is being railroaded by the White man (White man didn’t put that little girl in his room!) and screw the fact she is older than me now. Let’s use logic here: he has a history of doing improper acts with children from Aaliyah (THEY WERE FUCKING MARRIED, PEOPLE!) to that girl he reportedly made have an abortion (Which rules because it goes in line with my anti-baby policies) at FIFTEEN YEARS OLD. Now say what you will about my schoolgirl jokes but at least I am going to go where it isn’t looked down upon. In America, we do NOT believe in fucking minors on camera….unless you piss on them. This set a bad precedent and pretty much means NAMBLA and the Catholic Church (Or as I call them THE SAME FUCKING THING) will now begin to pee on little boys. Slippery slope my ass, only thing slippery about this situation will be your daughters because R. Kelly is free and is about to pee. That nigga is a pedophile and a pisser and I hope he dies slow. Fuck you, America. Fuck you in your child pisser supporting asses.
I Learned That….Religion Is What You Make Of It. Which Makes It Bullshit.
So I am beginning to realize that people who believe that their religion is the only true religion are either fucking retarded or batshit crazy. Understand something right here and right now: if you believe in Christianity and you don’t follow the bible to the fucking tee you are going to hell. End of story. If you think the bible is up for your own interpretation then you are mishandling and reshaping the “word” of God and the “teachings” of Jesus Christ which makes you the worst kind of sinner. You are not only taking the lords word in vain you are taking his words and making them your own which is the ULTIMATE NO-NO. I am sick of you cockamamie religious fucks that say “I am spiritual about my faith” and “I use the bible to guide my life, I don’t take it literally” because by NOT being in full belief about your faith and NOT using the bible and its nonsensical stories to guide your life IN ITS LITERAL SENSE you are NOT following the word. You are just as bad as me and I personally despise the concept of Jesus Christ. Fuck him; he was a loud-mouthed, impeccably kempt (I will admit, that hair was FABOO), self-righteous, disco loving Jew that needed to keep his fucking mouth shut. I know it, the Romans knew it, the Jews knew it and most importantly you all know it. All religion is bullshit but Christianity wins the kewpie doll for asshatery because they claim to be the only true religion and yet there are multiple sects that all say the other is wrong because they aren’t like them. Christians hate Catholics, Catholics hate Christians and they ALL hate Mormons which makes little sense because at least a real Mormon will tell you the Book of Mormon is bullshit. It is a vehicle that helps them appreciate family, gives them grounding in understand how things may have been and helps them get that cash money because even poor Mormons are ballin. The simple fact is that more has been done to discredit the TRUTH of the events in the bible than to prove the stories happened. However, that is not to discount what it means to people. I always say that if something makes you a better person then by all means go for it. If you find that solace in the bible then great, just don’t tell me the shit REALLY happened because if it did the events would contradict every action that happened in every other book of worship. Hell, it would contradict what happened in the OLD FUCKING TESTAMENT! BTW, if the fact there is a NEW TESTAMENT isn’t enough to cast some doubt about the plausibility of the stories actually being true then you really are not a logical being and there is no help for you. Might as well put on a yellow suit, run around with your arms in the air and call yourself “banana man” because that what you are doing. Follow the word and let it advance YOU, leave me out of your bullshit and stop sounding like a douche by trying to convince the world the all the shit actually happened.
I learned some more, but those were the big ones. I will try to be up tomorrow with The Incredible Hulk review and a rant but I dunno yet. I have been on this for almost 30 days straight. May need a day break. You never know. Until next time, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Friday, June 13, 2008
Reports Of My Demise Are FALSE!
Well, I am back and the Countdown WILL NOT BE LATE! Nothing can stop the 20 biggest videos in the GALAXY! Get ready for the…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let’s get this thing started!
20. Bennie K – Monochrome (Last Week #17, Seven Weeks at #1)
After arguably the most dominant Countdown run ever by any artist, Bennie K falls three spots this week. That is huge because it looks like this run has come to an end. Seven weeks at number one is a record that has only been achieved once and it was not consecutive. To hold this down for almost two months is awesome. Congrats, ladies.
19. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (New Entry)
Hells yes! HAMC is back as they attempt to take a classic TM Revolution song to the top! It has been a while since “Amazing” blazed up the Countdown and it is good to see them back. Can they recapture the magic?
18. Yui – Laugh Away (Last Week #15)
NEW YUI!!! SUMMER SONG IS AWESOME!
17. Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F. (Last Week #14, One Week at #1)
Foxxi MisQ is back! And it is a ballad! Can life GET any better? Damn, Dem is looking hella good to me right now. I may just be in love…
16. Usher – Moving Mountains (Last Week #20)
Usher moves up yet again this week as R&B may have returned. I actually like his album, albeit not more than I liked “Confessions” but still. They all can’t be Burn. LET IT BURN! CAR!
15. BACK-ON – Sands of Time (Last Week #18)
BACK-ON is making their way up this week as they hop up three big spots. Anyone know what this is from? Is it just a single or is it an opening/closing theme for a show? A little heads up would be great.
14. Lupe Fiasco feat Nikki Jean – Hip Hop Saved My Life (Last Week #12)
Lupe falls two spots this week as I anxiously wait for a new single. WILL YOU PLEASE DO A VIDEO FOR THE “EVERYBODY NOSE” REMIX?! COME ON, DAMMIT!
13. UVERworld – Just Break The Limit! (Last Week #16)
The World is back with two videos out for my listening pleasure. This one moves up another three spots this week as it looks like they are looking for Countdown supremacy with their SEVENTH TOP TEN VIDEO! Yeah, they own it.
12. L`Arc~en~Ciel – DRINK IT DOWN (Last Week #10)
The Arc falls out of the Top Ten! I need to start playing Devil May Cry 4 again. It has been a while since I played and I am due for some demon slaying.
11. Colbie Caillat – Realize (Last Week #9)
Colbie looks to be on her way down this week as she falls from the Top 10. She may be able to bounce back but I haven’t heard much from her since this video so…we’ll see.
10. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #13)
We are into the Top 10 and we once again have a familiar face! The Game gets his fourth Top 10 video and places his name in the ring for the biggest hip hop act to grace the Countdown. Can he FINALLY make it to number one? He now holds the record for most Top 10’s with no number one now that Foxxi MisQ got the monkey of their back.
9. Aqua Timez - Niji (Last Week #11)
Aqua Timez is back! After a kickass album last year and one of the biggest videos of the year with “ALONES” they started off 2008 slow but have bounced back with a big one with “Niji!” Can they go two for two? We will have to see!
8. Usher feat. Young Jeezy – Love In This Club (Last Week #6, Three Weeks at #1)
Usher is STILL hanging on to the Top 10 even with his latest video still climbing the chart. Been a big year for Mr. Raymond and it looks to get bigger with a really good album and ready made singles. It’s the year of the Ush!
7. Chris Brown - Forever (Last Week #8)
Just above Usher we have his heir apparent! Chris Brown pops up one spot this week as he attempts to keep the Summer of R&B going to the top! I am considering picking up the special edition of this album for this song. CONSIDERING IT.
6. Kanye West feat. Chris Martin – Homecoming (Last Week #4, One Week at #1)
Kanye and Chris fall two more spots this week and out of the top five that means that there will be no hip hop among the five biggest videos of the week! Who is left?
5. Paramore – That’s What You Get (Last Week #7)
Paramore jumps up two spots into the Top Five to make it this high for the second time! I am all over this song because….that IS what you get when you let your heart win. What it is exactly is up to debate but it’s what you get.
4. Alicia Keys – Teenage Love Affair (Last Week #5)
Alicia Keys moves up one spot this week just outside of the Top Three. She has had a huge last six months, arguably the best of someone not named NaNa…who has been AWOL for the last few months. However, Alicia is taking names as she keeps on moving up. We are down to three!
3. Kelun – SIXTEEN GIRL (Last Week #3)
Kelun stands pat at number three this week as we all patiently await the video for “CHU-BURA.” All I have to say is MAKE IT HAPPEN, CAP’N! I NEEDS ME SOME CHU-BURA! So it is the same two videos at the top…but who game out with the belt?
2. Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
Kobuta has been usurped! After two weeks at the top, Kobuta and Misia fall to the runner up spot. Not to fret, a new video is out! Really weird black-face going on but I can get past that because the song kicks ass. So with these two as bridesmaids….we have a new champ!
1. YA-KYIM – Super Looper (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
The sexy ladies of YA-KYIM take over the top spot! It has been quite a year for J-R&B as Bennie K, Foxxi MisQ, NaNa and Toshinobu Kobuta have captured the top spot in 2008! YA-KYIM has turned years of work into the pinnacle of awesomeness. The number one video is finally theirs! Congratulations!
Sorry so late, but it is still out on a Friday! Tonight it is Incredible Hulk time! I will try to be up Saturday for a bit and then give a complete rundown of the week on Sunday including why my ankle HURTS LIKE FUCKING HELL. God damn sidewalk. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let’s get this thing started!
20. Bennie K – Monochrome (Last Week #17, Seven Weeks at #1)
After arguably the most dominant Countdown run ever by any artist, Bennie K falls three spots this week. That is huge because it looks like this run has come to an end. Seven weeks at number one is a record that has only been achieved once and it was not consecutive. To hold this down for almost two months is awesome. Congrats, ladies.
19. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (New Entry)
Hells yes! HAMC is back as they attempt to take a classic TM Revolution song to the top! It has been a while since “Amazing” blazed up the Countdown and it is good to see them back. Can they recapture the magic?
18. Yui – Laugh Away (Last Week #15)
NEW YUI!!! SUMMER SONG IS AWESOME!
17. Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F. (Last Week #14, One Week at #1)
Foxxi MisQ is back! And it is a ballad! Can life GET any better? Damn, Dem is looking hella good to me right now. I may just be in love…
16. Usher – Moving Mountains (Last Week #20)
Usher moves up yet again this week as R&B may have returned. I actually like his album, albeit not more than I liked “Confessions” but still. They all can’t be Burn. LET IT BURN! CAR!
15. BACK-ON – Sands of Time (Last Week #18)
BACK-ON is making their way up this week as they hop up three big spots. Anyone know what this is from? Is it just a single or is it an opening/closing theme for a show? A little heads up would be great.
14. Lupe Fiasco feat Nikki Jean – Hip Hop Saved My Life (Last Week #12)
Lupe falls two spots this week as I anxiously wait for a new single. WILL YOU PLEASE DO A VIDEO FOR THE “EVERYBODY NOSE” REMIX?! COME ON, DAMMIT!
13. UVERworld – Just Break The Limit! (Last Week #16)
The World is back with two videos out for my listening pleasure. This one moves up another three spots this week as it looks like they are looking for Countdown supremacy with their SEVENTH TOP TEN VIDEO! Yeah, they own it.
12. L`Arc~en~Ciel – DRINK IT DOWN (Last Week #10)
The Arc falls out of the Top Ten! I need to start playing Devil May Cry 4 again. It has been a while since I played and I am due for some demon slaying.
11. Colbie Caillat – Realize (Last Week #9)
Colbie looks to be on her way down this week as she falls from the Top 10. She may be able to bounce back but I haven’t heard much from her since this video so…we’ll see.
10. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #13)
We are into the Top 10 and we once again have a familiar face! The Game gets his fourth Top 10 video and places his name in the ring for the biggest hip hop act to grace the Countdown. Can he FINALLY make it to number one? He now holds the record for most Top 10’s with no number one now that Foxxi MisQ got the monkey of their back.
9. Aqua Timez - Niji (Last Week #11)
Aqua Timez is back! After a kickass album last year and one of the biggest videos of the year with “ALONES” they started off 2008 slow but have bounced back with a big one with “Niji!” Can they go two for two? We will have to see!
8. Usher feat. Young Jeezy – Love In This Club (Last Week #6, Three Weeks at #1)
Usher is STILL hanging on to the Top 10 even with his latest video still climbing the chart. Been a big year for Mr. Raymond and it looks to get bigger with a really good album and ready made singles. It’s the year of the Ush!
7. Chris Brown - Forever (Last Week #8)
Just above Usher we have his heir apparent! Chris Brown pops up one spot this week as he attempts to keep the Summer of R&B going to the top! I am considering picking up the special edition of this album for this song. CONSIDERING IT.
6. Kanye West feat. Chris Martin – Homecoming (Last Week #4, One Week at #1)
Kanye and Chris fall two more spots this week and out of the top five that means that there will be no hip hop among the five biggest videos of the week! Who is left?
5. Paramore – That’s What You Get (Last Week #7)
Paramore jumps up two spots into the Top Five to make it this high for the second time! I am all over this song because….that IS what you get when you let your heart win. What it is exactly is up to debate but it’s what you get.
4. Alicia Keys – Teenage Love Affair (Last Week #5)
Alicia Keys moves up one spot this week just outside of the Top Three. She has had a huge last six months, arguably the best of someone not named NaNa…who has been AWOL for the last few months. However, Alicia is taking names as she keeps on moving up. We are down to three!
3. Kelun – SIXTEEN GIRL (Last Week #3)
Kelun stands pat at number three this week as we all patiently await the video for “CHU-BURA.” All I have to say is MAKE IT HAPPEN, CAP’N! I NEEDS ME SOME CHU-BURA! So it is the same two videos at the top…but who game out with the belt?
2. Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
Kobuta has been usurped! After two weeks at the top, Kobuta and Misia fall to the runner up spot. Not to fret, a new video is out! Really weird black-face going on but I can get past that because the song kicks ass. So with these two as bridesmaids….we have a new champ!
1. YA-KYIM – Super Looper (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
The sexy ladies of YA-KYIM take over the top spot! It has been quite a year for J-R&B as Bennie K, Foxxi MisQ, NaNa and Toshinobu Kobuta have captured the top spot in 2008! YA-KYIM has turned years of work into the pinnacle of awesomeness. The number one video is finally theirs! Congratulations!
Sorry so late, but it is still out on a Friday! Tonight it is Incredible Hulk time! I will try to be up Saturday for a bit and then give a complete rundown of the week on Sunday including why my ankle HURTS LIKE FUCKING HELL. God damn sidewalk. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Sometimes, The Sequel Is Better Than The First. Not Here.
What is up, peeps?! I am back once again and I have a question for you all: why do you always read when I do my worst work? I really HATED yesterdays post but I had SIXTY-SIX READERS yesterday after I posted my “Break or No Break” blog which is the highest in about two months. I usually get 20 people a day which is MORE than enough for a guy that does about 60% of his work drunk on this thing. Man…I have been clean for almost two weeks. Unless you count that gay drink I had at PF Chang’s last week which I DON’T because I have had more alcohol in Crest toothpaste. Either way, it seems like you all liked the “Break or No Break” post so I guess I will start off with a little more for you all!
Break Or No Break Part II: The Re-Breakening!
Is that even a word? I don’t know…but I think it isn’t. Anyway, let’s get started. Yesterday was the rational aspects of dating (Religion, baby killing, tattoos) so now it is time for a few things I am on the fence about.
Kind Of A Deal Breaker: Fake Breasts
Okay, understand something right now: if you have them that is fine. I cant take them out and if you are happy with forgien objects in your chest than more power to you. However, I have always believed that there is a lot of undue stress put on the titty, not just by men but by women themselves. I would say that one in every three women I know (You know who you are and if we haven’t had this conversation…I thank you because your funbags are not a topic I want to have as a discussion piece) hate their breast size. First off, why are you telling me this shit? I don’t care! Your breasts aren’t paying my student loans or driving me to work! If they are too small, SO THE FUCK WHAT! Be happy with what you have because if someone is judging you for your boobs then they are kind of a cockwad anyway. Cockwad….priceless. If they are too big….SO THE FUCK WHAT! Be happy you have something others don’t have the luxury of having. You think I get all pissy about being fat? Hell no, I rub it in to homeless and Africans all the damn time! I send pictures of myself to hungry Ethiopians once a week eating at a buffet. Fuck them skinny, hungry bastards! Stop fucking and start farming!
Anyway, the fact that you are willing to modify your body cosmetically for something that is in essence is just there to produce milk and help you learn how to master soccer when you are older (I will give you time to get that one) is to ME (Again dumbfucks, TO ME) is a waste of time and is the ultimate in insecurity. I understand that they give you self-esteem and they make you feel “symmetrical” (I say that because a girl said that to me when I was at Denver Tech and I literally laughed in her face. I….am not a sensitive man) but seriously. Unless one was stolen by pirates….which would be the coolest band of pirates ever….there is no need for fake breasts. To get fake breasts is like niggas with platinum grillz in their mouth: you want the attention but in the end you just look like you don’t want to be. A whore, which I personally believe isn’t fair (I know a lot of flat-chested whores out there that aren’t getting their due) but much like me still being a nigger although I can read and have no felonies it is life. Here is a news flash for you. Both fake breasts and platinum teeth are:
• Gaudy. Fake breasts don’t look attractive. I am sorry, they don’t. It is just like Napolean invading Russia in the winter. A good idea at the time but after the alcohol and dumbfuckery wear off, you realize that is a pretty stupid-ass idea. Except now they are locked into place like Voltron lions. Gotta keep it nerd!
• Not-Functional. Now this is kind of a non-truth because breasts DO serve a purpose: to distract the stupid. Oh, and give milk but we also have Safeway and it is cheaper. ZING! From babies to bros, a breast serves its purpose as a weapon of mass distraction. But aside from that, they are just like niggas: they just lay there…taking up space. Besides, all women do is complain about them in terms of them either hurting them physically (Back aches and whatnot) or my all-time favorite that no one takes them seriously. Well, think of it like this: if you surgically give yourself a third eye, people will look. It is the exact same aspect: breasts that stick out and up like an Kobe Bryant in Japan are out of the norm and people will stare. It is SIMPLE FUCKING LOGIC! Gawd, why is that so hard to comprehend?!
• Self-Defeating. This goes along with non-functional but I think that non-functional is too far. Like I stated before, women feel they have a negative connotation from men AND other women (Because women are the ultimate haters. Talk to one for ten minutes and see what I mean. JUST LIKE NIGGAS! Man, I need to turn this shit into a book) when they get fake breasts. Yet….they still get them and then they complain.
At the end of the day, I am not against them altogether because like I said people do things that I think are unnecessary but I am one man with one opinion. Getting them doesn’t make you a horrible person just like getting a tattoo or an abortion don’t make you a horrible person. Hell, chicks that get abortions are awesome because odds are they will cut a nigga for you. THEY KILLED A BABY, MAN! That is stone cold! I kid, I kid. However, I believe that you should at least ATTEMPT to be happy with what you have whether it is in excess or lacking. Besides, having fake breasts doesn’t mean you should be devoid in…what’s that thing people lack so often…oh a FUCKING PERSONALITY. Just like men need to learn that nice cars don’t mean you can have the brain capacity of a retarded bat, women need to understand that while I fake breasts are okay you have to have more personality than them. I am just saying. I don’t want none of this:
Give me some of this:
Better yet….
DAMN, TOO MUCH BOOTY IN THE PANTS!!
I likes the backyard…I admits it.
Not Really A Deal Breaker: Kids (Unless They Bad. Then We Gots To Have A Talk)
Okay, I have had this conversation with some of homies and they always say “Oh, I will never date or marry a woman with kids! That is ground zero!” and I understand that statement. Kids are a responsibility that I do not want and I have a high amount of respect for women doing it on their own because someone has to. Don’t want to have to beat a kid with a bat because he tried to rob me because daddy wasn’t there to put a foot in his ass. Oh, and for those of you who have stripper daughters because daddy wasn’t there to tell her that he loved her….you can’t win them all:
Doesn’t make you a bad parent at all. You did good. Restecpa. At the end of the day, only Muslims have 70 female virgins lying around because….they is all in those burkas and shit. No man wants a sweaty bitch. This is Colorado Springs and the dude to chick ratio rivals the fucking Smurfs so odds are a woman has had “teh sex” with another man and since people here are dumb from the lack of oxygen they don’t protect themselves. In other words, there are rugrats running around and like Bruce Lee did his demons in Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story you to must confront a woman’s children. Which is fine because children are the future and there is nothing more vindicating than warping someone else’s children like I would do mine. Children absorb your knowledge like the sponge a woman wasn’t smart enough to use that would have kept her from getting pregnant in the first place. Or with at least more accuracy than not.
There is nothing wrong with a woman with kids…unless they are bad. Now there is a CERTAIN PERSON who will remain nameless that has two hellions that are THIS CLOSE to catching a brain-ah-bustah:
Now all kids are rambunctional. Hell, I had my destructive day. Yes, DAY because my mom was the master of a little something called “Killanigga-Fu” that kept me from doing a lot of shit. At the end of the day, a woman with kids is a fact of life just like a man with kids. Yes, it is rarer than usual but it happens and that shouldn’t stop you from getting to know that person. Unless that kid is in need of a serious chairshot:
God, The Rock nearly killed like seven people with chairshots. It’s what made him The People’s Champ!
A TOTAL Deal Breaker: A Penis
Yeah…..um….ew. Now understand one thing here. VERY CLEARLY. I am very open in my sexuality but one thing I will not tolerate from a mate is a penis. Little known fact: dispite my love of the theater, Wham! And disco I am totally straight. I don’t care who’s it is….that shit is gross. The human wang is NOT a beautiful thing when it is supposed to be in or on me and it is not my own. Yes I have an affinity for Zac Efron and Bi but at the end of the day we are not having the sex. I mean, maybe some cuddling but sex is OUT. I KID, I KID. I would totally go legs akimbo for Johnny Depp.
FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY, I AM JOKING!
I’m cereal right now. No more dudes buying me drinks. I feel bad about not giving it up at the end of the night. I don’t want to be a “roadrunner” as Nicole put it. I swear I’m not a whore!
Well, that is enough of that for a while. I am surprised you all liked the first one but hey, to each their own. So I bought my first CD’s since I bought The Little Mermaid Broadway Production (Seriously…I am straight) and I am one of the reportedly over 423,000 people that bought Lil’ Wayne’s “Tha Carter III” ON ITS FIRST DAY OF RELEASE. Those are some sick numbers right there. I mean like Kanye or Eminem numbers! I mean….it’s Lil Wayne! Now I have never bought a Lil Wayne album and think his best song never even got a damn video:
That is some bad ass notes right there. However, I decided to give the album a chance in hopes he would improve over the ball of shit that was “Lollipop” because that itself made me NOT want to buy it. So now, let me give you the first (I believe) ever album review on the Passion of Chachi! So now, since everyone else has already reviewed it or downloaded the bootleg I give you…
Master Chief Captain Chachi Presents: Turn My Headphones Up!
Today’s Album: Lil’ Wayne’s “Tha Carter III”
Okay, let’s get this out of the way. “A Milli” and “Lollipop” suck ass. “Feel Like Dying” should be on there (there is a hidden track that iTunes won’t play and I hope that is it) as it really branches out, giving us something that is more Andre 3000 than Lil Wayne. With that out of the way, the album is full of average songs for the hype given and in comparison to the work he put in on mixtapes and remixes in the last 12 months (For a while, he had me at “I am the beast. Feed me rappers or feed me beats”. I expected nothing from “Mr. Carter” as Jay-Z has been phoning it in since The Blueprint IMHO while “Tie My Hands” with Robin Thicke doesn’t recapture the awesomeness that was “Shooter” but it is a good groove. I will say this about his album: the producers brought it for him. From Kanye West to Swizz Beats (Who actually made a beat that didn’t reloop an annoying ass sample! Branching out!) the beats on this album are worth the $9.99 price I paid for it. Lil Wayne’s lyricism is unparallel on guest verses and mixtapes but I don’t believe he has EVER brought it like Common, Kanye and even T.I. on a FULL ALBUM. A great album isn’t three great songs (Let The Beat Build, Playing With Fire and Shoot Me Down I really like) and a slew of average songs. Oh, and Lollipop which sucks ass, I don’t care what anyone says. You know, the songs he left off or had on UK or iTunes exclusive versions were better than some of the songs left on for the mass release (I HATE the hook for “Whip It” but that fucker is catchy as hell).
Overall, this album is on par with his first albums (I said I never BOUGHT a Lil Wayne album) but nowhere near as good as his first album. I miss Mannie Fresh. In closing, it was more of the same from Weezy which is a letdown as I was really expecting him to really jump that threshold concept-wise when putting together an album. I don’t know what it is, but the creativity and freedom he gives us on guest spots and street mixes are not heard on his albums and that is disheartening. If KG doesn’t win the NBA Finals this year, he really COULD BE raps Kevin Garnett. I give "Tha Carter III" Three Platinum Chains out of Five!
Well, that is all for now. I will odds are not be up tomorrow as I will be in Denver for work but I will have the Countdown up on either LAAAAAATE Friday night or Saturday for the first time in a year or so. I try to keep a schedule on this thing. Oh, and I don’t post before it comes out….I never thought I would say this…but GO SEE “THE INCREDIBLE HULK!”
I am officially sold on this movie. I will be there! Oh....and Mandy Moore is the most beautiful woman on the planet.
Chachi Out.
Break Or No Break Part II: The Re-Breakening!
Is that even a word? I don’t know…but I think it isn’t. Anyway, let’s get started. Yesterday was the rational aspects of dating (Religion, baby killing, tattoos) so now it is time for a few things I am on the fence about.
Kind Of A Deal Breaker: Fake Breasts
Okay, understand something right now: if you have them that is fine. I cant take them out and if you are happy with forgien objects in your chest than more power to you. However, I have always believed that there is a lot of undue stress put on the titty, not just by men but by women themselves. I would say that one in every three women I know (You know who you are and if we haven’t had this conversation…I thank you because your funbags are not a topic I want to have as a discussion piece) hate their breast size. First off, why are you telling me this shit? I don’t care! Your breasts aren’t paying my student loans or driving me to work! If they are too small, SO THE FUCK WHAT! Be happy with what you have because if someone is judging you for your boobs then they are kind of a cockwad anyway. Cockwad….priceless. If they are too big….SO THE FUCK WHAT! Be happy you have something others don’t have the luxury of having. You think I get all pissy about being fat? Hell no, I rub it in to homeless and Africans all the damn time! I send pictures of myself to hungry Ethiopians once a week eating at a buffet. Fuck them skinny, hungry bastards! Stop fucking and start farming!
Anyway, the fact that you are willing to modify your body cosmetically for something that is in essence is just there to produce milk and help you learn how to master soccer when you are older (I will give you time to get that one) is to ME (Again dumbfucks, TO ME) is a waste of time and is the ultimate in insecurity. I understand that they give you self-esteem and they make you feel “symmetrical” (I say that because a girl said that to me when I was at Denver Tech and I literally laughed in her face. I….am not a sensitive man) but seriously. Unless one was stolen by pirates….which would be the coolest band of pirates ever….there is no need for fake breasts. To get fake breasts is like niggas with platinum grillz in their mouth: you want the attention but in the end you just look like you don’t want to be. A whore, which I personally believe isn’t fair (I know a lot of flat-chested whores out there that aren’t getting their due) but much like me still being a nigger although I can read and have no felonies it is life. Here is a news flash for you. Both fake breasts and platinum teeth are:
• Gaudy. Fake breasts don’t look attractive. I am sorry, they don’t. It is just like Napolean invading Russia in the winter. A good idea at the time but after the alcohol and dumbfuckery wear off, you realize that is a pretty stupid-ass idea. Except now they are locked into place like Voltron lions. Gotta keep it nerd!
• Not-Functional. Now this is kind of a non-truth because breasts DO serve a purpose: to distract the stupid. Oh, and give milk but we also have Safeway and it is cheaper. ZING! From babies to bros, a breast serves its purpose as a weapon of mass distraction. But aside from that, they are just like niggas: they just lay there…taking up space. Besides, all women do is complain about them in terms of them either hurting them physically (Back aches and whatnot) or my all-time favorite that no one takes them seriously. Well, think of it like this: if you surgically give yourself a third eye, people will look. It is the exact same aspect: breasts that stick out and up like an Kobe Bryant in Japan are out of the norm and people will stare. It is SIMPLE FUCKING LOGIC! Gawd, why is that so hard to comprehend?!
• Self-Defeating. This goes along with non-functional but I think that non-functional is too far. Like I stated before, women feel they have a negative connotation from men AND other women (Because women are the ultimate haters. Talk to one for ten minutes and see what I mean. JUST LIKE NIGGAS! Man, I need to turn this shit into a book) when they get fake breasts. Yet….they still get them and then they complain.
At the end of the day, I am not against them altogether because like I said people do things that I think are unnecessary but I am one man with one opinion. Getting them doesn’t make you a horrible person just like getting a tattoo or an abortion don’t make you a horrible person. Hell, chicks that get abortions are awesome because odds are they will cut a nigga for you. THEY KILLED A BABY, MAN! That is stone cold! I kid, I kid. However, I believe that you should at least ATTEMPT to be happy with what you have whether it is in excess or lacking. Besides, having fake breasts doesn’t mean you should be devoid in…what’s that thing people lack so often…oh a FUCKING PERSONALITY. Just like men need to learn that nice cars don’t mean you can have the brain capacity of a retarded bat, women need to understand that while I fake breasts are okay you have to have more personality than them. I am just saying. I don’t want none of this:
Give me some of this:
Better yet….
DAMN, TOO MUCH BOOTY IN THE PANTS!!
I likes the backyard…I admits it.
Not Really A Deal Breaker: Kids (Unless They Bad. Then We Gots To Have A Talk)
Okay, I have had this conversation with some of homies and they always say “Oh, I will never date or marry a woman with kids! That is ground zero!” and I understand that statement. Kids are a responsibility that I do not want and I have a high amount of respect for women doing it on their own because someone has to. Don’t want to have to beat a kid with a bat because he tried to rob me because daddy wasn’t there to put a foot in his ass. Oh, and for those of you who have stripper daughters because daddy wasn’t there to tell her that he loved her….you can’t win them all:
Doesn’t make you a bad parent at all. You did good. Restecpa. At the end of the day, only Muslims have 70 female virgins lying around because….they is all in those burkas and shit. No man wants a sweaty bitch. This is Colorado Springs and the dude to chick ratio rivals the fucking Smurfs so odds are a woman has had “teh sex” with another man and since people here are dumb from the lack of oxygen they don’t protect themselves. In other words, there are rugrats running around and like Bruce Lee did his demons in Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story you to must confront a woman’s children. Which is fine because children are the future and there is nothing more vindicating than warping someone else’s children like I would do mine. Children absorb your knowledge like the sponge a woman wasn’t smart enough to use that would have kept her from getting pregnant in the first place. Or with at least more accuracy than not.
There is nothing wrong with a woman with kids…unless they are bad. Now there is a CERTAIN PERSON who will remain nameless that has two hellions that are THIS CLOSE to catching a brain-ah-bustah:
Now all kids are rambunctional. Hell, I had my destructive day. Yes, DAY because my mom was the master of a little something called “Killanigga-Fu” that kept me from doing a lot of shit. At the end of the day, a woman with kids is a fact of life just like a man with kids. Yes, it is rarer than usual but it happens and that shouldn’t stop you from getting to know that person. Unless that kid is in need of a serious chairshot:
God, The Rock nearly killed like seven people with chairshots. It’s what made him The People’s Champ!
A TOTAL Deal Breaker: A Penis
Yeah…..um….ew. Now understand one thing here. VERY CLEARLY. I am very open in my sexuality but one thing I will not tolerate from a mate is a penis. Little known fact: dispite my love of the theater, Wham! And disco I am totally straight. I don’t care who’s it is….that shit is gross. The human wang is NOT a beautiful thing when it is supposed to be in or on me and it is not my own. Yes I have an affinity for Zac Efron and Bi but at the end of the day we are not having the sex. I mean, maybe some cuddling but sex is OUT. I KID, I KID. I would totally go legs akimbo for Johnny Depp.
FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY, I AM JOKING!
I’m cereal right now. No more dudes buying me drinks. I feel bad about not giving it up at the end of the night. I don’t want to be a “roadrunner” as Nicole put it. I swear I’m not a whore!
Well, that is enough of that for a while. I am surprised you all liked the first one but hey, to each their own. So I bought my first CD’s since I bought The Little Mermaid Broadway Production (Seriously…I am straight) and I am one of the reportedly over 423,000 people that bought Lil’ Wayne’s “Tha Carter III” ON ITS FIRST DAY OF RELEASE. Those are some sick numbers right there. I mean like Kanye or Eminem numbers! I mean….it’s Lil Wayne! Now I have never bought a Lil Wayne album and think his best song never even got a damn video:
That is some bad ass notes right there. However, I decided to give the album a chance in hopes he would improve over the ball of shit that was “Lollipop” because that itself made me NOT want to buy it. So now, let me give you the first (I believe) ever album review on the Passion of Chachi! So now, since everyone else has already reviewed it or downloaded the bootleg I give you…
Master Chief Captain Chachi Presents: Turn My Headphones Up!
Today’s Album: Lil’ Wayne’s “Tha Carter III”
Okay, let’s get this out of the way. “A Milli” and “Lollipop” suck ass. “Feel Like Dying” should be on there (there is a hidden track that iTunes won’t play and I hope that is it) as it really branches out, giving us something that is more Andre 3000 than Lil Wayne. With that out of the way, the album is full of average songs for the hype given and in comparison to the work he put in on mixtapes and remixes in the last 12 months (For a while, he had me at “I am the beast. Feed me rappers or feed me beats”. I expected nothing from “Mr. Carter” as Jay-Z has been phoning it in since The Blueprint IMHO while “Tie My Hands” with Robin Thicke doesn’t recapture the awesomeness that was “Shooter” but it is a good groove. I will say this about his album: the producers brought it for him. From Kanye West to Swizz Beats (Who actually made a beat that didn’t reloop an annoying ass sample! Branching out!) the beats on this album are worth the $9.99 price I paid for it. Lil Wayne’s lyricism is unparallel on guest verses and mixtapes but I don’t believe he has EVER brought it like Common, Kanye and even T.I. on a FULL ALBUM. A great album isn’t three great songs (Let The Beat Build, Playing With Fire and Shoot Me Down I really like) and a slew of average songs. Oh, and Lollipop which sucks ass, I don’t care what anyone says. You know, the songs he left off or had on UK or iTunes exclusive versions were better than some of the songs left on for the mass release (I HATE the hook for “Whip It” but that fucker is catchy as hell).
Overall, this album is on par with his first albums (I said I never BOUGHT a Lil Wayne album) but nowhere near as good as his first album. I miss Mannie Fresh. In closing, it was more of the same from Weezy which is a letdown as I was really expecting him to really jump that threshold concept-wise when putting together an album. I don’t know what it is, but the creativity and freedom he gives us on guest spots and street mixes are not heard on his albums and that is disheartening. If KG doesn’t win the NBA Finals this year, he really COULD BE raps Kevin Garnett. I give "Tha Carter III" Three Platinum Chains out of Five!
Well, that is all for now. I will odds are not be up tomorrow as I will be in Denver for work but I will have the Countdown up on either LAAAAAATE Friday night or Saturday for the first time in a year or so. I try to keep a schedule on this thing. Oh, and I don’t post before it comes out….I never thought I would say this…but GO SEE “THE INCREDIBLE HULK!”
I am officially sold on this movie. I will be there! Oh....and Mandy Moore is the most beautiful woman on the planet.
I love you, Mandy!
Chachi Out.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Break The Walls Down!!
First things first: I hate the people in Colorado Springs. You non-driving, inbred, redneck fucktards need to DIE SLOW. Three open lanes and you chill in the merging lane?! See, this is why I don’t carry a gun because I would sho’nuff thin out the fucking ranks. Yet if I eliminate this person and make the world better for the smart people, I GO TO JAIL. Where is the damn justice?
So I am watching what is arguably the most ELECTRIFYING DVD to ever grace the planet Earth as I just picked up The Rock’s DVD:
Aaaaaaand I just came again. If you hate The Rock, you hate America. Now if THE ROCK were running for president I am sure no country would ever mess with us. It is more of a retrospective seeing as how I am about 25 minutes in and I HAVENT SEEN THE ROCK YET but hey, I am happy just to have The Rock vs. Chris Jericho for the Undisputed Title. I will put that up there with most matches as one of the best ever and I may have marked out harder for that than I did for Ricky Steamboat beating Randy Savage at Wrestlemania III. I also enjoy him kicking the shit out of Triple H. Sir Snoz pisses me off so much.
So a while back a certain female out there asked me a question that at the time I didn’t answer because it wasn’t pertinent to our drunken discussion (Or it may have been, I think we were talking about being shallow but I was about four vodka & tonics in so my memory is sketchy) but I think it needs to be addressed since people seem to think I am anti-woman and think they are less than people. That could not be more farther from the truth and right on the button despite being so incorrectly right. To paraphrase what she asked:
“So what ISN’T a deal breaker when choosing a woman to date?’
Let me preface this by the fact that she asked me about her tattoo (Which narrows it down to about….99.93 percent of the women I know. And the one without one BETTER NOT GET ONE UNLESS IT IS OF A SILVER SNAKE! LEGEND OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE, FOOL!) and I pretty much told her I think that they are stupid and that I am not a fan but that is just me and she responded with “WAH WAH WAH WAH-WAH-WAH-GOOBADY GOO.” I kid, I kid that’s how all women sound to me. I KID! She said something about are tattoos a deal breaker and I said “no, because that would rule out about 80% of the 21-30 age range” which sadly is about true. It got me to thinking, especially about how I have done three….well, two and a half rants about how being shallow isn’t effective if you ever want to find someone that isn’t a fucktard, whore, douchebag or crazy bitch. Please understand, when I say I don’t like tattoos or multiple peircings or women voting that doesn’t mean you are a bad person and that doesn’t mean I will say “You have a tattoo of a butterfly on the small of your back?! UNCLEAN! BEGONE TROLLOP WHORE TO YOUR HOME ON WHORE ISLAND!” even if I SHOULD because that is not cool. I wouldn’t want someone saying I’m undatable because I am Mayor McFattie. I am undateable because I love too much….and I am fucking nuts. Either way, I wanted to address a few things because it is what I do here on the Passion of Chachi and quite simply…I’M AWESOME!
Chachi’s Break or Don’t Break!
Deal Breaker: Your Religion
Now you all know I could give a rats ass who you pray to just as long as you don’t expect ME to pray to your pussy-ass god. Now since most people (Females especially) spit on the Bible or Torah or Quran or Chronicles of Narnia or whatever book of bullshit you follow just by waking up in the morning I don’t care about how you live your life in a religious aspect. I had dated a Mormon in college and she wanted me to go to church with her one time. Her father put the KABOSH on that shit real quick and I knew it would happen. Don’t even get me started on the conversation I had with a certain woman that will remain nameless but this is how it went:
Her: So don’t believe in God?
Me: I believe in Jack Burton. Does that count?
Her: Who is Jack Burton?
Me: Porkchop…never mind. No, I don’t believe in the Christian god nor anyone else’s. To believe in one discounts all others way of life and believes which in its essence makes you a bad person.
Her: Well you ARE a bad person if you don’t believe in Jesus Christ.
Me: ….what in the BLOODY FUCK is your PROBLEM, woman?!
Surprisingly, we lasted three more months before we got fed up with the lies. Well, I gave up listening to and believing in the lies and she got tired of telling them I guess. It’s a lot harder to live the lie than to just admit it. BTW, I should be slapped a lot more, honestly. That was uncalled for and FUNNY AS SHIT! However, most people would see that as mean while I see that as good clean, humor. Anyway, I don’t have a religion and I honestly don’t mind if you have one. DO NOT try to convert me to your religion and think that pussy will make me do it because if you give it up before you are married…you are going to hell. So all you unwed and divorced mothers say hello to Hilter and Martin Luther King Jr. for me. Shouldn’t have been sexing up the white women. That sweet, sweet white sugar aint for darkies you chubby cheeked monkey! I don’t mind if you are religious but that is one thing that I will NOT back down on. Just because you believe in Jebus or Moses doesn’t mean I have to. Fuck a bowl of matzo ball soup. Give me some BUKKAKE!
Udon. You are so nasty!
NOT A Deal Breaker: Tattoos
WHAT?! After all the shit I talk about women with tattoos they arent a deal breaker when it comes to dating one? Hell no because they all have one. It is like saying I won’t draft an NFL player because the dude smoked weed. Or saying I won’t date a woman that sucked another man’s’ dick. They all have, that’s why women brush their teeth so much. Isn’t it? In all seriousness here. I am not a fan of tattoos and never have been. Never will be, either. However, I have never judged anyone with a tattoo and never will because we all do things that aren’t the brightest. Hell, I used to have an S-Curl. It didn’t scar me and be something that at 50 won’t look like such a good idea but man, I pray there are no pictures of that time. I looked like I was a member of Troop:
KICKING IT OLD SCHOOL! Sorry, back to my point. Some of my best friends have tattoos both male and female. Mostly female because my male friends (Aside from Copper who has the tribal band. BRO!) don’t have tattoos because they pretty much run under the same creedo that I do: Tattoos are for: Yakuza members, prisoners to represent street warfare and Pete from “Adventures of Pete and Pete”. If you aint one of them, you just wasted some ink and scarred yourself for life. That doesn’t make you a bad person and doesn’t mean you can’t be the object of my affection…but it does make me wonder about you ability to not succumb to peer pressure because that is what you did. Oh, and if you are religious AND have a tattoo the rules are different. You fucking suck.
Let’s keep on going, shall we?
NOT A Deal Breaker: Having An Abortion
You killed a baby in cold blood? YOU ARE FUCKING AWESOME! Seriously, the first time a girl told me she had an abortion in a way that she thought it would make me think poorly of her was when I was in college. She was a year younger than I was which made me think that keeping her legs closed was a better idea but say lah vee and all that jazz. She thought I would be upset and not like her anymore which was awkward but understandable. Let me explain something right here and now: I am not pro-choice, I am anti-baby. The fewer the babies in this world the safer we are. Santa can deliver presents faster and we can finally be free of children’s programming. As a woman I don’t give a fuck what you do with your body because life begins when those in power say so. Is your body and if you feel like ending a life then go for it. Think of it like The Sims when you don’t feed your Sim or let it go to the bathroom….then suck it out of the house with a vacuum cleaner. As long as you are okay and you feel it was the best decision there aint a damn thing anyone can say. Unless you use it as a form of birth control. You KNOW how babies are made and you KNOW where they come from. After the first one, I think you should have to go through an obstacle course or something because condoms are a lot cheaper than a visit to the Roto-rooter. Hell, swallowing is free! Aaaaaaand that’s why no woman will ever love me: they don’t know funny.
Deal Breaker: Fucking Nick Cannon
Yes, I do ask that of you so be prepared. That shit is gross and if you have done it then you officially have the Yak Clap. Fuck Nick Cannon, say no to the Chachi. YOU’RE CUT OFF!
Well, now you know more about me. I will try to be back up tomorrow night as Thursday I will be in Denver for a conference all day until around 11pm so the Countdown will either be on Thursday or Saturday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
So I am watching what is arguably the most ELECTRIFYING DVD to ever grace the planet Earth as I just picked up The Rock’s DVD:
Aaaaaaand I just came again. If you hate The Rock, you hate America. Now if THE ROCK were running for president I am sure no country would ever mess with us. It is more of a retrospective seeing as how I am about 25 minutes in and I HAVENT SEEN THE ROCK YET but hey, I am happy just to have The Rock vs. Chris Jericho for the Undisputed Title. I will put that up there with most matches as one of the best ever and I may have marked out harder for that than I did for Ricky Steamboat beating Randy Savage at Wrestlemania III. I also enjoy him kicking the shit out of Triple H. Sir Snoz pisses me off so much.
So a while back a certain female out there asked me a question that at the time I didn’t answer because it wasn’t pertinent to our drunken discussion (Or it may have been, I think we were talking about being shallow but I was about four vodka & tonics in so my memory is sketchy) but I think it needs to be addressed since people seem to think I am anti-woman and think they are less than people. That could not be more farther from the truth and right on the button despite being so incorrectly right. To paraphrase what she asked:
“So what ISN’T a deal breaker when choosing a woman to date?’
Let me preface this by the fact that she asked me about her tattoo (Which narrows it down to about….99.93 percent of the women I know. And the one without one BETTER NOT GET ONE UNLESS IT IS OF A SILVER SNAKE! LEGEND OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE, FOOL!) and I pretty much told her I think that they are stupid and that I am not a fan but that is just me and she responded with “WAH WAH WAH WAH-WAH-WAH-GOOBADY GOO.” I kid, I kid that’s how all women sound to me. I KID! She said something about are tattoos a deal breaker and I said “no, because that would rule out about 80% of the 21-30 age range” which sadly is about true. It got me to thinking, especially about how I have done three….well, two and a half rants about how being shallow isn’t effective if you ever want to find someone that isn’t a fucktard, whore, douchebag or crazy bitch. Please understand, when I say I don’t like tattoos or multiple peircings or women voting that doesn’t mean you are a bad person and that doesn’t mean I will say “You have a tattoo of a butterfly on the small of your back?! UNCLEAN! BEGONE TROLLOP WHORE TO YOUR HOME ON WHORE ISLAND!” even if I SHOULD because that is not cool. I wouldn’t want someone saying I’m undatable because I am Mayor McFattie. I am undateable because I love too much….and I am fucking nuts. Either way, I wanted to address a few things because it is what I do here on the Passion of Chachi and quite simply…I’M AWESOME!
Chachi’s Break or Don’t Break!
Deal Breaker: Your Religion
Now you all know I could give a rats ass who you pray to just as long as you don’t expect ME to pray to your pussy-ass god. Now since most people (Females especially) spit on the Bible or Torah or Quran or Chronicles of Narnia or whatever book of bullshit you follow just by waking up in the morning I don’t care about how you live your life in a religious aspect. I had dated a Mormon in college and she wanted me to go to church with her one time. Her father put the KABOSH on that shit real quick and I knew it would happen. Don’t even get me started on the conversation I had with a certain woman that will remain nameless but this is how it went:
Her: So don’t believe in God?
Me: I believe in Jack Burton. Does that count?
Her: Who is Jack Burton?
Me: Porkchop…never mind. No, I don’t believe in the Christian god nor anyone else’s. To believe in one discounts all others way of life and believes which in its essence makes you a bad person.
Her: Well you ARE a bad person if you don’t believe in Jesus Christ.
Me: ….what in the BLOODY FUCK is your PROBLEM, woman?!
Surprisingly, we lasted three more months before we got fed up with the lies. Well, I gave up listening to and believing in the lies and she got tired of telling them I guess. It’s a lot harder to live the lie than to just admit it. BTW, I should be slapped a lot more, honestly. That was uncalled for and FUNNY AS SHIT! However, most people would see that as mean while I see that as good clean, humor. Anyway, I don’t have a religion and I honestly don’t mind if you have one. DO NOT try to convert me to your religion and think that pussy will make me do it because if you give it up before you are married…you are going to hell. So all you unwed and divorced mothers say hello to Hilter and Martin Luther King Jr. for me. Shouldn’t have been sexing up the white women. That sweet, sweet white sugar aint for darkies you chubby cheeked monkey! I don’t mind if you are religious but that is one thing that I will NOT back down on. Just because you believe in Jebus or Moses doesn’t mean I have to. Fuck a bowl of matzo ball soup. Give me some BUKKAKE!
Udon. You are so nasty!
NOT A Deal Breaker: Tattoos
WHAT?! After all the shit I talk about women with tattoos they arent a deal breaker when it comes to dating one? Hell no because they all have one. It is like saying I won’t draft an NFL player because the dude smoked weed. Or saying I won’t date a woman that sucked another man’s’ dick. They all have, that’s why women brush their teeth so much. Isn’t it? In all seriousness here. I am not a fan of tattoos and never have been. Never will be, either. However, I have never judged anyone with a tattoo and never will because we all do things that aren’t the brightest. Hell, I used to have an S-Curl. It didn’t scar me and be something that at 50 won’t look like such a good idea but man, I pray there are no pictures of that time. I looked like I was a member of Troop:
KICKING IT OLD SCHOOL! Sorry, back to my point. Some of my best friends have tattoos both male and female. Mostly female because my male friends (Aside from Copper who has the tribal band. BRO!) don’t have tattoos because they pretty much run under the same creedo that I do: Tattoos are for: Yakuza members, prisoners to represent street warfare and Pete from “Adventures of Pete and Pete”. If you aint one of them, you just wasted some ink and scarred yourself for life. That doesn’t make you a bad person and doesn’t mean you can’t be the object of my affection…but it does make me wonder about you ability to not succumb to peer pressure because that is what you did. Oh, and if you are religious AND have a tattoo the rules are different. You fucking suck.
Let’s keep on going, shall we?
NOT A Deal Breaker: Having An Abortion
You killed a baby in cold blood? YOU ARE FUCKING AWESOME! Seriously, the first time a girl told me she had an abortion in a way that she thought it would make me think poorly of her was when I was in college. She was a year younger than I was which made me think that keeping her legs closed was a better idea but say lah vee and all that jazz. She thought I would be upset and not like her anymore which was awkward but understandable. Let me explain something right here and now: I am not pro-choice, I am anti-baby. The fewer the babies in this world the safer we are. Santa can deliver presents faster and we can finally be free of children’s programming. As a woman I don’t give a fuck what you do with your body because life begins when those in power say so. Is your body and if you feel like ending a life then go for it. Think of it like The Sims when you don’t feed your Sim or let it go to the bathroom….then suck it out of the house with a vacuum cleaner. As long as you are okay and you feel it was the best decision there aint a damn thing anyone can say. Unless you use it as a form of birth control. You KNOW how babies are made and you KNOW where they come from. After the first one, I think you should have to go through an obstacle course or something because condoms are a lot cheaper than a visit to the Roto-rooter. Hell, swallowing is free! Aaaaaaand that’s why no woman will ever love me: they don’t know funny.
Deal Breaker: Fucking Nick Cannon
Yes, I do ask that of you so be prepared. That shit is gross and if you have done it then you officially have the Yak Clap. Fuck Nick Cannon, say no to the Chachi. YOU’RE CUT OFF!
Well, now you know more about me. I will try to be back up tomorrow night as Thursday I will be in Denver for a conference all day until around 11pm so the Countdown will either be on Thursday or Saturday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Another Day Older, Another Day I Wish Flanders Were Dead...
Okay, I am back up for a little something-something. Almost bedtime though because I have been tired AS FUCK the last few mornings.
Random Thought #1: Putting Lime In A Beer Doesn’t Make It Better. It’s Just Lime Piss.
Okay, first off let it be known that I DO NOT LIKE BEER. I can tolerate a Blue Moon because I pretty much lived off of it for a while (Aahhh, the Happy Hours on Friday when I was at The Q. Those were the…drunken…halcyon days) but aside from an occasional Asahi/Sapporo (Or Ichiban. Now THAT is some good drinkin!) I really hate beer. It is fucking nasty and the people that say it is “tasty” are devoid of any kind of palette and have had it desensitized due to the years of PBR and Nati Ice. What I don’t understand are the “premium” beers that still must taste like shit. Budweiser Select is still Budweiser which means it tastes like mid-life crisis and poor fathering. Miller High Life is the nastiest beer I have ever had and I only enjoyed it as I attempted to drown my sorrows in 2005 when the Philadelphia Eagles and Atlanta Falcons played in the NFC Championship Game. After about 5 pitchers, anything tastes good.
What really gets me is the lime in the beer. Now I will put an orange slice in my Blue Moon but that is because it is already there when I get it. Now I am not a beer aficionado so I am unsure why people do that it is there and I figure why the hell not. The lime in the Mexican beer is understandable because they are a weird people. Ever celebrated that “Day of the Dead” holiday of theirs? Fucked up shit. Putting a lime in a Corona or a Negra Modelo (Another beer I can stand but don’t necessarily like) and other Mexican beers (Which I don’t drink)…
HOLY SHIT! CHRIS JERICHO JUST MARTY JANETTY’D SHAWN MICHAELS!!! I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY!!
Sorry, I just like seeing Shawn Michaels get what is coming to him. Y2J! Y2J! Y2J! Bret Hart is proud of you. My bad, back on the beer. Putting lime in Mexican beers is okay because it is custom I think. Just like Speedy Gonzalez and being sleepy. They are a people deep in tradition of…drinking which brings on sleeping. Wow, circle of life. Anyway, can someone tell me who thought it was a good idea to put lime in Miller Beer?
Okay, let’s do some math here:
PISS + LIME + DOUCHEBAG = LIMEY PISSANT FUCK
That pretty much covers it. Beer is bad. Shitty beer is bad enough. Adding a lime just makes it pisstris nastyness. Wow…piss + citrus = pistriss. I AM AWESOME!
Random Thought #2: Pimp My Daughter: K-Pop Style!
Okay, I will be the first to admit my love for Hinoi Team and take myself to task that they are well underage. Well, in JAPAN they are good and legal. Here, they are good and legal if I pee on them and dammit, I am not that kind of pervert. Anyway, I have been listening to Wonder Girls for a while and I really liked “Tell Me” and “Irony” but never saw the videos of them so I had no idea what they looked like or even did. So a few months ago I saw the “Tell Me” video:
O…..kay? Not as sexful as some of the other girl groups out there that are a tad older (Tenjo Chiki, Jewelry, etc) but still a little bit on the risqué end of the spectrum. And what was up with the hentai in the locker hopping out and showing his nasties?! I know “hentai” is Japanese but I don’t remember the Korean word for “nasty ass old man showing his googly giggidy to teenage girls.” So despite the adult-like wears they are still dressing their age with isn’t saying much because girls their age dress like skanks. Compared to their age group, they are actually dressed rather concervatively. Now…check out their latest video for “So Hot”:
First off….DAMN THIS SONG IS FUCKING AWESOME! I don’t know why, but this song is the shit! Catchy as HELL. I even know the first verse! I am so festive! Secondly…did you look at the lyrics? What in the hell are they, Pussycat Dolls: Seoul Patrol? That song is trifiling as hell! Not only that, why in the hell are they dancing like that? Now don’t get me wrong, I know they are no Kumi Koda or Namie Amuro. However, the dances are just….bad. Not even sexy as much as….Kids Incorporated bad. What is really weird is that three of the members are 18 or older (Sun Ye, Yeh Eun and Yoo Bin) while the other two are Hinoi-esque in their ages (Sun Mi is 16 and So Hee, the one who sang second….IS FIFTEEN!) and yet I don’t think anyone can tell. Can you?
Don’t pull the “all Asians look alike!” card because if can tell the difference between Japanese, Koreans and Chinese (Mainly because of imported porn, but hey it’s a skill) then you can. Can you tell which the jailbait? I thought so. That is wrong….so, so , so wrong-wrong. I know this is about money and getting fans but I think this is very right for them as an image. What do I know, though. They were brought to us by a professional, one Jin Young Park or JYP, the genius that brought us Rain:
WHOA, that is one ugly nigga! The man makes 50 Cent looks like Terrance Howard! I guess I know why he makes little girls act sexy for him…he is a fucking pervert. For shame, JYP! You sick, sick man! R. Kelly even finds you disgusting! Unless you pee on them, then I guess it’s cool. Hell, release an American language CD and you may get a Grammy out of it! Man….that was wrong.
Random Thought #3: Rebelde….GREATEST SHOW EVER THAT I DON’T COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND!
Seriously… this show was so damn awesome it made me hit a second puberty. Roberta y Mia…tu Corazon es EN FUEGO!!!
Damn it, does anyone know these episodes? I am watching right now and I don’t need to skip to them but I need to know where to save up the lotion at. I kid, I kid. Seriously, though. This show was AWESOME. I know why Nolan went apeshit when they deleted his saved episodes at the Buy.
Well, I am out for now. I may not have a post up Wednesday because I plan on buying “The Rock: The Most Electrifying Man In Sports Entertainment” on DVD Tuesday. Oh, and Boondocks Season Two comes out that day, too. I will be incommunicado for a while. IF YOU SMEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL-LA-LA-LA-LA-LAOW….what the Chachi…is….cooking.
Chachi Out
Random Thought #1: Putting Lime In A Beer Doesn’t Make It Better. It’s Just Lime Piss.
Okay, first off let it be known that I DO NOT LIKE BEER. I can tolerate a Blue Moon because I pretty much lived off of it for a while (Aahhh, the Happy Hours on Friday when I was at The Q. Those were the…drunken…halcyon days) but aside from an occasional Asahi/Sapporo (Or Ichiban. Now THAT is some good drinkin!) I really hate beer. It is fucking nasty and the people that say it is “tasty” are devoid of any kind of palette and have had it desensitized due to the years of PBR and Nati Ice. What I don’t understand are the “premium” beers that still must taste like shit. Budweiser Select is still Budweiser which means it tastes like mid-life crisis and poor fathering. Miller High Life is the nastiest beer I have ever had and I only enjoyed it as I attempted to drown my sorrows in 2005 when the Philadelphia Eagles and Atlanta Falcons played in the NFC Championship Game. After about 5 pitchers, anything tastes good.
What really gets me is the lime in the beer. Now I will put an orange slice in my Blue Moon but that is because it is already there when I get it. Now I am not a beer aficionado so I am unsure why people do that it is there and I figure why the hell not. The lime in the Mexican beer is understandable because they are a weird people. Ever celebrated that “Day of the Dead” holiday of theirs? Fucked up shit. Putting a lime in a Corona or a Negra Modelo (Another beer I can stand but don’t necessarily like) and other Mexican beers (Which I don’t drink)…
HOLY SHIT! CHRIS JERICHO JUST MARTY JANETTY’D SHAWN MICHAELS!!! I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY!!
Sorry, I just like seeing Shawn Michaels get what is coming to him. Y2J! Y2J! Y2J! Bret Hart is proud of you. My bad, back on the beer. Putting lime in Mexican beers is okay because it is custom I think. Just like Speedy Gonzalez and being sleepy. They are a people deep in tradition of…drinking which brings on sleeping. Wow, circle of life. Anyway, can someone tell me who thought it was a good idea to put lime in Miller Beer?
Okay, let’s do some math here:
PISS + LIME + DOUCHEBAG = LIMEY PISSANT FUCK
That pretty much covers it. Beer is bad. Shitty beer is bad enough. Adding a lime just makes it pisstris nastyness. Wow…piss + citrus = pistriss. I AM AWESOME!
Random Thought #2: Pimp My Daughter: K-Pop Style!
Okay, I will be the first to admit my love for Hinoi Team and take myself to task that they are well underage. Well, in JAPAN they are good and legal. Here, they are good and legal if I pee on them and dammit, I am not that kind of pervert. Anyway, I have been listening to Wonder Girls for a while and I really liked “Tell Me” and “Irony” but never saw the videos of them so I had no idea what they looked like or even did. So a few months ago I saw the “Tell Me” video:
O…..kay? Not as sexful as some of the other girl groups out there that are a tad older (Tenjo Chiki, Jewelry, etc) but still a little bit on the risqué end of the spectrum. And what was up with the hentai in the locker hopping out and showing his nasties?! I know “hentai” is Japanese but I don’t remember the Korean word for “nasty ass old man showing his googly giggidy to teenage girls.” So despite the adult-like wears they are still dressing their age with isn’t saying much because girls their age dress like skanks. Compared to their age group, they are actually dressed rather concervatively. Now…check out their latest video for “So Hot”:
First off….DAMN THIS SONG IS FUCKING AWESOME! I don’t know why, but this song is the shit! Catchy as HELL. I even know the first verse! I am so festive! Secondly…did you look at the lyrics? What in the hell are they, Pussycat Dolls: Seoul Patrol? That song is trifiling as hell! Not only that, why in the hell are they dancing like that? Now don’t get me wrong, I know they are no Kumi Koda or Namie Amuro. However, the dances are just….bad. Not even sexy as much as….Kids Incorporated bad. What is really weird is that three of the members are 18 or older (Sun Ye, Yeh Eun and Yoo Bin) while the other two are Hinoi-esque in their ages (Sun Mi is 16 and So Hee, the one who sang second….IS FIFTEEN!) and yet I don’t think anyone can tell. Can you?
Don’t pull the “all Asians look alike!” card because if can tell the difference between Japanese, Koreans and Chinese (Mainly because of imported porn, but hey it’s a skill) then you can. Can you tell which the jailbait? I thought so. That is wrong….so, so , so wrong-wrong. I know this is about money and getting fans but I think this is very right for them as an image. What do I know, though. They were brought to us by a professional, one Jin Young Park or JYP, the genius that brought us Rain:
WHOA, that is one ugly nigga! The man makes 50 Cent looks like Terrance Howard! I guess I know why he makes little girls act sexy for him…he is a fucking pervert. For shame, JYP! You sick, sick man! R. Kelly even finds you disgusting! Unless you pee on them, then I guess it’s cool. Hell, release an American language CD and you may get a Grammy out of it! Man….that was wrong.
Random Thought #3: Rebelde….GREATEST SHOW EVER THAT I DON’T COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND!
Seriously… this show was so damn awesome it made me hit a second puberty. Roberta y Mia…tu Corazon es EN FUEGO!!!
Damn it, does anyone know these episodes? I am watching right now and I don’t need to skip to them but I need to know where to save up the lotion at. I kid, I kid. Seriously, though. This show was AWESOME. I know why Nolan went apeshit when they deleted his saved episodes at the Buy.
Well, I am out for now. I may not have a post up Wednesday because I plan on buying “The Rock: The Most Electrifying Man In Sports Entertainment” on DVD Tuesday. Oh, and Boondocks Season Two comes out that day, too. I will be incommunicado for a while. IF YOU SMEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL-LA-LA-LA-LA-LAOW….what the Chachi…is….cooking.
Chachi Out
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