Morning, peeps! First things first, thank you for voting in Douchebrawl this round! After the lackluster turnout for the Suckass Sixteen (maybe it’s the name…) I am glad to see the peeps back in FORCE to put Mel Gibson in the Finals. Just KIDDING! Be sure to tell your friends, I want the Final Four to be bigger than the Bryan Adams comeback tour!
So today I want to try something new. I rant every now and then (a lot less than before but still) but one thing I rarely do is give commentary. I leave that to others, mainly because my commentary turns into an angry diatribe (kind of redundant, eh?) anyway. However, sometimes there are things that I just want to take a second and say a little something on. So today, I have the first installment of…
How Chachi Feels About:
Being Shallow
Now as many of you know, I’m a nerd. Total dweeb. One thing that I do as a nerd is look at Ctrl+Alt+Del every morning before I get going at work. It is good stuff, almost has replaced Penny Arcade as my favorite (No one can top the Merch Christmas). As a storyline driven web comic, I have liked a lot of the arcs like the Mac Panthers arc. He has a current arc where Lucas decides to get back on the dating scene and joins a Match.com like dating site. Zeke (an X-Box robot) sets him up on a date behind his back with a heavier woman. The arc basically shows how Lucas is not attracted to her but still goes out with her. Come to find out she ISN’T overweight, just wearing a fat suit and she is actually skinny. He has a good time and the end.
Tim Buckley (not like I know him so I won’t act like I do) gave an explanation this morning about why he portrayed Lucas the way he did after some e-mails from upset people. This made me think. What is wrong with being shallow anyway?
Okay, as a fat, black jerk I can honestly say that I have no reason to be shallow. Hell, I already have three strikes against me and two strikes in the second inning (being sexually ambiguous and nerd count against me, too). Yet, I think being ‘shallow’ is confused with having certain standards, right or wrong. Case in point: I don’t like skinny women. Hell, I don’t like skinny people in general. Call it jealousy, call it a preference but if I had my choice I would not date a skinny woman no matter what my size because I don’t find that initially attractive. Does that make me shallow? In terms of the way the word is used now, yes it does. Does that mean I won’t talk to that person if I like her personality? Hell no. Will that curb my physical attraction to her? Hells no because if you love someone solely based on how they look, good luck with that.
On the flip side, I also understand that I am not the ideal for most women. I’ve been told by women that they don’t find fat guys attractive. Can’t blame them for that at all. Who would I be to judge them when I do the exact same thing (albeit reversed)? It may hurt, it may suck and it may mean they miss out on the 100% Grade-A Mancake but it is their fucking choice. I have been told by one girl in particular (Who was Mormon. Bad move on MY PART) that she liked me but didn’t date black men. I was surprisingly okay with that. You know why? Because I don’t date black women, or they don’t date me spin that how you want. That was her choice and although I didn’t like it I (sadly) respected it. Even weirder was when we DID date and I met her dad when I picked her up and all he could do was stare and sloooooowly close the door in confusion. Is that shallow? No, that is a choice. I know this all too well because for a long time I wasn’t en vogue not because of my weight but because I was TOO DARK when light-skins were hot (Fuck Christopher Williams). Griff can tell you, that shit HURTS. Was it fair? No, and I will stick by that to this day because I am a SEXY SHADE OF MOCHA! I accepted it as a choice they made and to each their own.
So quite simply is being ‘shallow’ a bad thing? Well, yes and no. Just like anything there are pros and cons to being choosy. If the military took anyone and everyone that enlisted because they were desperate the drunk, ugly sorority girl at a frat party we would be….you know that joke is too easy. If you aren’t attracted to women with tattoos (Especially at the small of the back. REAL ORIGINAL) because you think that shows a personality of being weak and easily influenced then that is your choice. If you think that a guy that watches cartoons isn’t your type because it means they never grew up and shows immaturity, it is quite alright. The simple fact is that we are by nature ‘shallow’. Looks matter and that is the bottom line.
However, with people being like snowflakes being ‘shallow’ really limits you. If everyone looked alike and had the same ideal of beauty, it would be…well creepy. I don’t like all of the same traits Rick likes in a woman (we’ve been over this) but several overlap. I am not a fan big boobs (especially fake ones. CREEPY), for the most part he digs ‘em like Sugar Smacks. He isn’t about the illegal shift in the backfield but I am all about that 5-yard penalty. Yet, we both aren’t fans of tattoos or smokers. That still gives a wide spectrum of women out there that we find attractive. That being said, once you get past that, there is a very important factor that outweighs that: personality.
Now that is when being shallow can truly fuck you over. I for one am the exception to this rule because if you don’t like the cover of this book you sure as HELL aint going to like the story. If I hear another person say ‘he was cute but he was such a jerk!’ or ‘she was hot but man she was a bitch’ I will rip your lower mandible out and use it as a fucking cup holder. This is when I use the word shallow. Not to describe a person, but their PERSONALITY. A shallow personality is one that is devoid of any depth or originality. A pretty woman that has no sense of humor is not sexy. She may be a physical specimen but for the most part, you can’t have sex all day. At some point you have to talk about SOMETHING and when you do, if she or he is shallow it is going to SUCK. Since the majority (okay, all) of my time is spent NOT having sex the ability to relate and have fun with someone is key. Having a great personality actually should (and for me does) make up for not fitting into my ‘ideal’. Is it the same for everyone? No, some people have a box and if you don’t fit in that box then it is on to the next girl/guy. Again, there is nothing wrong with that. Keep in mind; people don’t like to be in boxes. They keep on escaping, and then you have to use the cattle prod…let’s just say it’s not worth it.
So back to the original point: how does the Chachi feel about being shallow? It is a part of being human. Everyone has their preferences and there is nothing wrong with that. Keep in mind, it is an INDIVIDUAL preference. With the rise of Maxim, Cosmo, Spike TV and Sex in the City (dumbest fucking show EVER) people are really falling into this ‘ideal beauty’ that is portrayed and if that is your thing then do it to it. No matter how ‘unbiased’ you are, you have preset ideas of what is attractive to you. So don’t get pissy when someone else’s are different from yours or aren’t you. If someone doesn’t find a trait about you attractive, odds are you weren’t right for that person anyway. If you were, then they just missed out on the greatest thing to happen since all-natural applesauce. At least that’s the lie I tell myself to get to sleep without crying. Just kidding, everyone is beautiful. Nothing wrong with being ‘shallow’ but you could be missing out.
Phew, glad I got that out. I will be back tomorrow with the Top 20 Video Countdown I think Nolan, Zach, Nick and I are going to D&B’s for a ZOMBIE KILLING PARTEEEEEY! I will try to get pictures of the excursion for viewing. And hopefully no 13 year old will hit on me this time. Oy…that was awkward. Until Friday, here is something for the male demographic. New Kumi Koda live! Get the penicillin, because I would so hit that.
Holy crap, has she been eating?! She no longer looks like she is about to blow away! Alright, alright, alright! Be sure to vote in Douchebrawl, polls close Sunday night and the Final Four begins!!
Chachi Out
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
You May Need A Shower After This Rant...
Good morning, peeps! As you know, the Regional Finals of Douchebrawl 2007 has begun! We are down to the eight biggest douches as voted on by the people and it is time to send four of them to the Douchebrawl Championship! Here are the Regional Final match ups!
George Lucas Acting Regional Final:
(1) Mel Gibson
Vs.
(10) Hayden Christensen
Last year Mel Gibson came one victory away from the Douchebrawl Championship and infamy. This year, the favorite to take the trophy home has a second chance, something Jesus never got (ZING!). Unlike last year, when Mel was the underdog against an on-a-roll and eventual winner Tom Cruise, Mel is the favorite against the young shitty Jedi Hayden Christensen. Last year Hayden lost in the second round (to Tom Cruise as well) rather convincingly. This year, he knocked off #2 seed Ashton Kutcher and upset #11 seed Russell Crowe to get one step away from Douchebrawl glory. Can Hayden pull one more upset and make it to the finals? Or will Mel Gibson avenge last years close defeat and take his place in Douchebrawl lore? Only you can decide! The next match up is…
50 Cent Musician Regional Final:
(1) Bono
Vs.
(3) Eminem
Wow, now this is a battle. The self-righteous Irish douchebag or the most overrated hip hop fucktard since L.L. Cool J. Who will win? Bono is back in the Regional Final for the second straight year after losing to 50 Cent last year, costing him a spot in the Douchebrawl Championship. The peeps have put him one step away again this year. Can he bring it home? Or will the newcomer Marshall Mathers take his place in the Final Four? Eminem wasn’t even in Douchebrawl last year and has made an impressive showing by beating out #2 seed Diddy in convincing fashion and making it this far. Can Slim Shady add a Douchebrawl Championship trophy to his resume? Or will Bono win for the starving children out of the goodness of his heart? We will see! Next we have…
Heather Graham Trollop Whore Regional Final:
(1) Paris Hilton
Vs.
(6) Lindsay Lohan
In my opinion, the best match of the four. Lindsay has avenged her Suckass Sixteen loss last year by defeating #3 seed Tara Reid and #2 seed Britney Spears en route to the Regional Finals. Can she beat her on-again/off-again best friend? In her first year in Douchebrawl, Paris has had a run similar to Tom Cruise last year, simply CRUSHING her foes (by an average of about 86% to 14%) on her way to being one step away from the Finals. Who will win Skankfest 2007? Only you can decide, peeps! Lastly, we have…
Andy Dick Fucktard Regional Final:
(1) K-Fed
Vs.
(3) Nick Cannon
If there was a more worthless battle, I don’t know what it is. K-Fed once again has Popozao’d his way to the Regional Final and he is looking to be the first person to go to TWO Douchebrawl Championships. That may be more impressive than winning, because that shows douche staying power. Standing in his way may be the most worthless celebrity since….well Ray J. Nick Cannon has taken his first shot in Douchebrawl and made the most of it, knocking off #2 seed Peyton Manning to be one step away from immortality. Because this is the only immortality he will get because he sucks it dry. Can K-Fed make Douchebrawl history or will Nick Cannon continue his march toward fucktard greatness? The power is YOURS!
Those are your Regional Finals! Be sure to vote (the Suckass Sixteen was half of what the first two rounds were) and there is no limit! I just ask you don’t be a fucker about it. I am looking at Rick and his four Ben Affleck votes. Eh, can’t complain because Ben Affleck deserves it. The polls close at 10pm eastern time this Sunday night and then we begin the Douchebrawl Championship!
Okay, it is SO rant time. It has been a while since I have done a legit rant (I think the last one was the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy but that was back when I was acting like a punk bitch) and this has been a LONG TIME FUCKING COMING.
Why is it that I cannot hear a fucking R&B/Hip-Hop/radio jingle without R. Kelly in it? I mean…okay I want to choose my words carefully here. Screw it, we are all adults. If you aren’t an adult then this is a lesson. First off, I understand that in America you are guilty until proven innocent. Err…innocent until proven GUILTY. Sorry, I’m Black so it’s flip-flopped, I mess that up sometimes. Despite his ‘innocence’ (BULL-FUCKING-SHIT) I am one that believes that R. Kelly should not be allowed to make music. Not necessarily because he is a pedophile (because he IS and it has been proven by the trying to marry Aaliyah fiasco that niggas still ignore to this day) but because he is a pisser. Yeah, I said it a PISSER.
Having sex with children is wrong. Now I JOKE about the Hinoi Team (and it is all good and legal in Japan, which is SCARY because R. Kelly in Japan is like an all-you-can-piss-on buffet. That shit is TAME compared to what Japanese men do to them, I’ve sadly seen the movies) but at the end of the day I would never DO anything. Because that shit is not fucking cool. And before a certain someone (who doesn’t read this anyway but karma shows that she WILL this time just because that’s the way my life works) mentions my comments about locking Hayden Paniterre in a box I just will say that I said I would do it AFTER she turned 18 or keep her in the box UNTIL she turned 18. See, I have morals so QUIT YOUR BITCHING!
Back to the point. The fact is that R. Kelly has had several problems with sexual misconduct and minors. It has been proven that he has had relations with underage girls. There have been documents about an abortion by a 16 year old that reportedly was carrying R. Kelly’s child. Pictures of R. Kelly having sex with girls as young as FOUR-FUCKING-TEEN were seized from his house (charges were dropped when it was found there was no warrant for the seizure)! All this evidence and any normal man would have been locked up and probably had every hole violated in prison like Jasmine Byrne. With all this being said and all this evidence….
Why does R. Kelly have another single out? WITH T.I. NO LESS!! Why is he doing a song with BOW WOW?! We all know the age range of HIS fanbase. Why is he on ‘Go Getta’ with Young Jeezy? That song rules it, but I can’t listen to it because the King of R & Pee is on it. Oh, and most importantly WHY IN THE HELL IS HE ON THE ‘MAKE IT RAIN’ REMIX?! Does anyone aside me get the innuendo with that? Don’t worry, I’ll wait. Get it? Just think golden shower and I am SO moving on.
I was talking to a friend (kind of, I think its more of tolerance of my wanton anger on her part) and a very important point hit me as I ranted about how much I hate this nigga. When pedophiles are released from prison, they are told (in some cases forced) to stay away from children. Yet, not only is R. Kelly allowed to be around kids (he took some girl to her 8th grade Sadie Hawkins dance in 2003. Or maybe I made that up. He’s so fucking nasty YOU AINT EVEN SURE!), he is allowed to make songs with them! Remember ‘Bump, Bump, Bump’ with B2K? Or ‘Gigalo’ with the biggest fucktard of them all Nick Cannon? What better way to meet underage black girls than to work with artists whose fanbase is UNDERAGE BLACK GIRLS?! Well, like Adam West said in ‘The Boondocks’ at least he is all about the sistas. Problem is they are young enough to be Chris Brown’s young sister. Disgusting ass nigga. Oh, and remember the whole ‘Pied Piper of R&B’ moniker of his with the gay ass Lone Ranger mask? Anyone know about the story? Read it and tell me he isn’t disgusting.
The part of this that pisses me off the most…damn it, I just said piss in an R. Kelly rant. That was unintentional, I swear. Anyway, what irritates me is how people (especially YOU, black people) are letting this slide. I mean you listen to his music STILL, granted he is everywhere. And yes, Chocolate Factory was scandal proof. However, the rest of his stuff has SUH-UCKED and you know it. Innocent until proven guilty is fine as long as THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OUT THERE TO PROVE YOU ARE GUILTY! With all the videos, pictures and track record of this man it is pretty much obvious that he is a molester and a pisser. Yet, I am the only person that seems to think this fuck needs to be in jail. Am I the only sane Black man in America? Am I the only one that sees R.Kelly for the disgusting pervert that he is? The answer to that question is sadly yes. How it all breaks down is this:
The reason R.Kelly is not in jail is because deep down…..we all want have sex with and pee on 14 year old black girls. I never thought that was the case, but I guess that is the only rational fucking reason that anyone would support him or find him as a victim in this whole thing. Well, let me be the first person to say I do not want have sex with or pee on a 14 year old black girl. Nor a 26 year old black woman for that matter (Sadly, black women and I don’t get along. Get a few drinks in me and I will tell you about it). I don’t want to pee on any-damn-body. That shit is gross!
I want R.Kelly in jail. I want him as far away from children as possible. I want him as far away from video cameras as possible. I WANT HIM AS FAR AWAY FROM A MICROPHONE AS POSSIBLE!! No more ‘R&B classics’ and no more fucking up remixes. It is a god damned shame that Shyne is in jail for having Diddy’s back and Lil Kim went to jail for NOT SNITCHING (I am down with Katt Williams on this point) while R.Kelly is still free to make bad music. Probably peeing on a 15 year old as I type this. I fucking hate R.Kelly. Strong words, but he is a perv. That and he is a pisser. I leave you with this:
Preach it, Huey. Preach it. I will be back on Friday for the Top 20 Video Countdown and maybe up on Thursday. On a side note, rumor is they are moving Scrubs to ABC. Can you imagine Knights of Prosperity, In Case of Emergency and Scrubs on the same night? COMEDY PAR-TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!! Until Friday, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out. And no peeing on minors!
George Lucas Acting Regional Final:
(1) Mel Gibson
Vs.
(10) Hayden Christensen
Last year Mel Gibson came one victory away from the Douchebrawl Championship and infamy. This year, the favorite to take the trophy home has a second chance, something Jesus never got (ZING!). Unlike last year, when Mel was the underdog against an on-a-roll and eventual winner Tom Cruise, Mel is the favorite against the young shitty Jedi Hayden Christensen. Last year Hayden lost in the second round (to Tom Cruise as well) rather convincingly. This year, he knocked off #2 seed Ashton Kutcher and upset #11 seed Russell Crowe to get one step away from Douchebrawl glory. Can Hayden pull one more upset and make it to the finals? Or will Mel Gibson avenge last years close defeat and take his place in Douchebrawl lore? Only you can decide! The next match up is…
50 Cent Musician Regional Final:
(1) Bono
Vs.
(3) Eminem
Wow, now this is a battle. The self-righteous Irish douchebag or the most overrated hip hop fucktard since L.L. Cool J. Who will win? Bono is back in the Regional Final for the second straight year after losing to 50 Cent last year, costing him a spot in the Douchebrawl Championship. The peeps have put him one step away again this year. Can he bring it home? Or will the newcomer Marshall Mathers take his place in the Final Four? Eminem wasn’t even in Douchebrawl last year and has made an impressive showing by beating out #2 seed Diddy in convincing fashion and making it this far. Can Slim Shady add a Douchebrawl Championship trophy to his resume? Or will Bono win for the starving children out of the goodness of his heart? We will see! Next we have…
Heather Graham Trollop Whore Regional Final:
(1) Paris Hilton
Vs.
(6) Lindsay Lohan
In my opinion, the best match of the four. Lindsay has avenged her Suckass Sixteen loss last year by defeating #3 seed Tara Reid and #2 seed Britney Spears en route to the Regional Finals. Can she beat her on-again/off-again best friend? In her first year in Douchebrawl, Paris has had a run similar to Tom Cruise last year, simply CRUSHING her foes (by an average of about 86% to 14%) on her way to being one step away from the Finals. Who will win Skankfest 2007? Only you can decide, peeps! Lastly, we have…
Andy Dick Fucktard Regional Final:
(1) K-Fed
Vs.
(3) Nick Cannon
If there was a more worthless battle, I don’t know what it is. K-Fed once again has Popozao’d his way to the Regional Final and he is looking to be the first person to go to TWO Douchebrawl Championships. That may be more impressive than winning, because that shows douche staying power. Standing in his way may be the most worthless celebrity since….well Ray J. Nick Cannon has taken his first shot in Douchebrawl and made the most of it, knocking off #2 seed Peyton Manning to be one step away from immortality. Because this is the only immortality he will get because he sucks it dry. Can K-Fed make Douchebrawl history or will Nick Cannon continue his march toward fucktard greatness? The power is YOURS!
Those are your Regional Finals! Be sure to vote (the Suckass Sixteen was half of what the first two rounds were) and there is no limit! I just ask you don’t be a fucker about it. I am looking at Rick and his four Ben Affleck votes. Eh, can’t complain because Ben Affleck deserves it. The polls close at 10pm eastern time this Sunday night and then we begin the Douchebrawl Championship!
Okay, it is SO rant time. It has been a while since I have done a legit rant (I think the last one was the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy but that was back when I was acting like a punk bitch) and this has been a LONG TIME FUCKING COMING.
Why is it that I cannot hear a fucking R&B/Hip-Hop/radio jingle without R. Kelly in it? I mean…okay I want to choose my words carefully here. Screw it, we are all adults. If you aren’t an adult then this is a lesson. First off, I understand that in America you are guilty until proven innocent. Err…innocent until proven GUILTY. Sorry, I’m Black so it’s flip-flopped, I mess that up sometimes. Despite his ‘innocence’ (BULL-FUCKING-SHIT) I am one that believes that R. Kelly should not be allowed to make music. Not necessarily because he is a pedophile (because he IS and it has been proven by the trying to marry Aaliyah fiasco that niggas still ignore to this day) but because he is a pisser. Yeah, I said it a PISSER.
Having sex with children is wrong. Now I JOKE about the Hinoi Team (and it is all good and legal in Japan, which is SCARY because R. Kelly in Japan is like an all-you-can-piss-on buffet. That shit is TAME compared to what Japanese men do to them, I’ve sadly seen the movies) but at the end of the day I would never DO anything. Because that shit is not fucking cool. And before a certain someone (who doesn’t read this anyway but karma shows that she WILL this time just because that’s the way my life works) mentions my comments about locking Hayden Paniterre in a box I just will say that I said I would do it AFTER she turned 18 or keep her in the box UNTIL she turned 18. See, I have morals so QUIT YOUR BITCHING!
Back to the point. The fact is that R. Kelly has had several problems with sexual misconduct and minors. It has been proven that he has had relations with underage girls. There have been documents about an abortion by a 16 year old that reportedly was carrying R. Kelly’s child. Pictures of R. Kelly having sex with girls as young as FOUR-FUCKING-TEEN were seized from his house (charges were dropped when it was found there was no warrant for the seizure)! All this evidence and any normal man would have been locked up and probably had every hole violated in prison like Jasmine Byrne. With all this being said and all this evidence….
Why does R. Kelly have another single out? WITH T.I. NO LESS!! Why is he doing a song with BOW WOW?! We all know the age range of HIS fanbase. Why is he on ‘Go Getta’ with Young Jeezy? That song rules it, but I can’t listen to it because the King of R & Pee is on it. Oh, and most importantly WHY IN THE HELL IS HE ON THE ‘MAKE IT RAIN’ REMIX?! Does anyone aside me get the innuendo with that? Don’t worry, I’ll wait. Get it? Just think golden shower and I am SO moving on.
I was talking to a friend (kind of, I think its more of tolerance of my wanton anger on her part) and a very important point hit me as I ranted about how much I hate this nigga. When pedophiles are released from prison, they are told (in some cases forced) to stay away from children. Yet, not only is R. Kelly allowed to be around kids (he took some girl to her 8th grade Sadie Hawkins dance in 2003. Or maybe I made that up. He’s so fucking nasty YOU AINT EVEN SURE!), he is allowed to make songs with them! Remember ‘Bump, Bump, Bump’ with B2K? Or ‘Gigalo’ with the biggest fucktard of them all Nick Cannon? What better way to meet underage black girls than to work with artists whose fanbase is UNDERAGE BLACK GIRLS?! Well, like Adam West said in ‘The Boondocks’ at least he is all about the sistas. Problem is they are young enough to be Chris Brown’s young sister. Disgusting ass nigga. Oh, and remember the whole ‘Pied Piper of R&B’ moniker of his with the gay ass Lone Ranger mask? Anyone know about the story? Read it and tell me he isn’t disgusting.
The part of this that pisses me off the most…damn it, I just said piss in an R. Kelly rant. That was unintentional, I swear. Anyway, what irritates me is how people (especially YOU, black people) are letting this slide. I mean you listen to his music STILL, granted he is everywhere. And yes, Chocolate Factory was scandal proof. However, the rest of his stuff has SUH-UCKED and you know it. Innocent until proven guilty is fine as long as THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OUT THERE TO PROVE YOU ARE GUILTY! With all the videos, pictures and track record of this man it is pretty much obvious that he is a molester and a pisser. Yet, I am the only person that seems to think this fuck needs to be in jail. Am I the only sane Black man in America? Am I the only one that sees R.Kelly for the disgusting pervert that he is? The answer to that question is sadly yes. How it all breaks down is this:
The reason R.Kelly is not in jail is because deep down…..we all want have sex with and pee on 14 year old black girls. I never thought that was the case, but I guess that is the only rational fucking reason that anyone would support him or find him as a victim in this whole thing. Well, let me be the first person to say I do not want have sex with or pee on a 14 year old black girl. Nor a 26 year old black woman for that matter (Sadly, black women and I don’t get along. Get a few drinks in me and I will tell you about it). I don’t want to pee on any-damn-body. That shit is gross!
I want R.Kelly in jail. I want him as far away from children as possible. I want him as far away from video cameras as possible. I WANT HIM AS FAR AWAY FROM A MICROPHONE AS POSSIBLE!! No more ‘R&B classics’ and no more fucking up remixes. It is a god damned shame that Shyne is in jail for having Diddy’s back and Lil Kim went to jail for NOT SNITCHING (I am down with Katt Williams on this point) while R.Kelly is still free to make bad music. Probably peeing on a 15 year old as I type this. I fucking hate R.Kelly. Strong words, but he is a perv. That and he is a pisser. I leave you with this:
Preach it, Huey. Preach it. I will be back on Friday for the Top 20 Video Countdown and maybe up on Thursday. On a side note, rumor is they are moving Scrubs to ABC. Can you imagine Knights of Prosperity, In Case of Emergency and Scrubs on the same night? COMEDY PAR-TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!! Until Friday, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out. And no peeing on minors!
Sunday, March 11, 2007
March Movie Madness, Baby!
WHOO HOO! It's Sunday, which means tomorrow is Monday! More poor tech support and shit that doesn’t work! At least this weekend was okay. Well, your weekend just got better as it is time for....
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD!!: 'The Host' and '300'
So I made the trek to Denver yesterday to see ‘The Host’ (I gave a synopsis in an earlier post last year) and you know what? That movie kicked ass. The translation was interesting (not like I even KNOW Korean, but it was different than the version I downloaded and some of the jokes made no sense the way they were translated) but the movie itself had some campy moments a la Shaun of the Dead (FUCK YES!) and the monster even looked convincing, albeit in the last boss in Resident Evil 2 convincing. The acting was actually good (in comparison to American counterparts in the same genre) and the last ten minutes or so is kind of heart-wrenching as long as you took the time out to get in touch with the characters. Minus the older sister, she really wasn’t focused on but she plays an important part. All in all, there was some cheese in there but this movie is pretty fucking bad-ass. Drama, comedy (DROPKICK, FOOL!) action and even a little bit of horror tossed in made this a great watch. However, the movie skipped around a little and was a little forced in the middle but it wasn’t enough to turn me off. I recommend it. The Chachi gives The Host…
8.5 out of 10 stars!!
Now, it is time for the ultimate in homo-erotic cinema. On Friday I went to see 300 with Nolan, Zach and some other guy (Dylan? Brandon? Wait, that’s 90210. Fuck, I can’t remember!) and I must say, first off from what I remember of 300 graphic novel wise (it has been YEARS and I didn’t want to read it and pre-judge the film like I did Sin City) it was almost panel for panel a dead on adaptation. As a comic fan I like it when the story stays true to the comic (you listening Ang Lee?!) so that was a plus. Second was the actual locals. People were pissed because the backgrounds were hella lavish and didn’t ‘look like ancient Greece’. To them I say so the fuck what?! It was ANCIENT GREECE! Not Greece in the 1980’s you fucktards! Besides, the backgrounds and landscape kicked ass. The detail wasn’t up to part with Lord of the Rings but the hordes and locales weren’t the focus of the movie. The big part of the movie were the Spartans. And wow. Those men were MEN. I’m talking MAAAAAAAAAAAN CAAAAAAAAAAKE! Whoo….made me want to enlist right then. Wasn’t a non-hawtie in the bunch.
And they were wrecking shop! As Master Shake would say ‘They came to throw down!’ There were more beheadings and limb removals since…hmm…I can honestly say I have never seen this many beheadings and limb removals. And I played God of War on the hardest level. The violence really was just awesome in this. Yes, the blood never hit the ground but it was Sparta. The Spartan men were so hot the blood never was ABLE to touch the ground. Aside from that (which I heard but didn’t even notice until it was over) the rest of the movie was bad ass! When I say bad ass, I mean back fucking ass! This movie was better than Gladiator in terms of action definitely in terms of writing because Frank Miller rules (I don’t think he gets a lot of credit as writer as much as he gets it for changing the style. Yes he popularized the grim and gritty comic character but he still made it all work with kick-ass storytelling) and as for action we all know that the Spartans fought in bullet-time. It has been documented several times. Countless deaths, awesome visuals, superb dialog for a comic based movie and Greek mancake aplenty. Combine that with some great music and you have the best movie of the year so far, peeps. The Chachi gives 300 his highest recommendations and a….
10 out of 10 stars!!
(Aside from the focus on the over-the-top-violence, this movie was everything an epic is supposed to be. Well worth the watch, and MUST been seen in the theater to get the full effect. Oh, and this is so a date movie. Boobies and decapitations for men, hawt and shirtless Spartans for the ladies. Can’t go wrong with that!)
So did anyone watch that Pussycat Doll show? Why do these girls have to know how to sing? Only Nicole does and she is only above average at best. I SO remember her from Eden’s Crush! I…have their album somewhere. Sue me, I loved that show! I was watching a little of Best Week Ever before I left to Denver yesterday and what is with the confusion of being a whore with having independence and power? It’s like rappers confusing wealth with material goods. Yes you have a platinum coated ferret but who in the fuck is going to buy a PLATINUM COATED FERRET?! There is no resale value in that! Just like women using the Pussycat Dolls as role models. They aren’t role models, they are entertainers. There is nothing powerful about dressing and dancing like a stripper if you don’t get paid handsomely for it. Think about that next time you get your grind on for a free drink or just to prove you can have a man in the palm of your hand. Unless you got twenty dollars for it, you just wasted your time and are a little deader inside.
Eh, that had been pissing me off for a few minutes. People getting awards for being mediocre to shitty at what they do just because they are attractive. I am SO LOOKING AT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Justin. I like some of his music. However, there really isn’t anything special about him. He’s not hotter than Usher, he can’t dance a good as Bi and he can’t sing like the dudes from EXILE (more on them in a minute). He is literally an average dude with an ego. Oh, and he is white which helps out a lot. J-Tim may be better looking than me, but he thinks he’s Gackt. And let me tell you something, homeboy. YOU ARE NO GACKT!
Back on EXILE. You may not know who they are. You fucking should. This is what a boy band should sound like. They aren’t really a BOY BAND as much as they are a MAN BAND but still. Funky fresh dance moves + smooth R&B beats + groovy dance tracks = best band out there right now. I had ‘Lover’s Again’ on my MySpace page for a while and I just got their album and WHOA. Check out ‘Evolution’ their newest single from the ‘Prison Break’ TV show:
Good stuff.
Well, after last nights horrible weather debacle (good god, Monument Hill was horrible) I am gonna head outside again for a while. Oh, and FUCK CONGRESS. Daylight savings time three weeks early? THAT WILL HELP OUT THE ECONOMY. Aside from the costs companies have to incur to make all the changes to their systems to accommodate this change, I mean. If it pointless to Indiana, it’s pointless to me. Stay up, peeps. Be sure to vote for Douchebrawl! Only about four hours left until the Regional Finals begin!!
Chachi Out!
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD!!: 'The Host' and '300'
So I made the trek to Denver yesterday to see ‘The Host’ (I gave a synopsis in an earlier post last year) and you know what? That movie kicked ass. The translation was interesting (not like I even KNOW Korean, but it was different than the version I downloaded and some of the jokes made no sense the way they were translated) but the movie itself had some campy moments a la Shaun of the Dead (FUCK YES!) and the monster even looked convincing, albeit in the last boss in Resident Evil 2 convincing. The acting was actually good (in comparison to American counterparts in the same genre) and the last ten minutes or so is kind of heart-wrenching as long as you took the time out to get in touch with the characters. Minus the older sister, she really wasn’t focused on but she plays an important part. All in all, there was some cheese in there but this movie is pretty fucking bad-ass. Drama, comedy (DROPKICK, FOOL!) action and even a little bit of horror tossed in made this a great watch. However, the movie skipped around a little and was a little forced in the middle but it wasn’t enough to turn me off. I recommend it. The Chachi gives The Host…
8.5 out of 10 stars!!
Now, it is time for the ultimate in homo-erotic cinema. On Friday I went to see 300 with Nolan, Zach and some other guy (Dylan? Brandon? Wait, that’s 90210. Fuck, I can’t remember!) and I must say, first off from what I remember of 300 graphic novel wise (it has been YEARS and I didn’t want to read it and pre-judge the film like I did Sin City) it was almost panel for panel a dead on adaptation. As a comic fan I like it when the story stays true to the comic (you listening Ang Lee?!) so that was a plus. Second was the actual locals. People were pissed because the backgrounds were hella lavish and didn’t ‘look like ancient Greece’. To them I say so the fuck what?! It was ANCIENT GREECE! Not Greece in the 1980’s you fucktards! Besides, the backgrounds and landscape kicked ass. The detail wasn’t up to part with Lord of the Rings but the hordes and locales weren’t the focus of the movie. The big part of the movie were the Spartans. And wow. Those men were MEN. I’m talking MAAAAAAAAAAAN CAAAAAAAAAAKE! Whoo….made me want to enlist right then. Wasn’t a non-hawtie in the bunch.
And they were wrecking shop! As Master Shake would say ‘They came to throw down!’ There were more beheadings and limb removals since…hmm…I can honestly say I have never seen this many beheadings and limb removals. And I played God of War on the hardest level. The violence really was just awesome in this. Yes, the blood never hit the ground but it was Sparta. The Spartan men were so hot the blood never was ABLE to touch the ground. Aside from that (which I heard but didn’t even notice until it was over) the rest of the movie was bad ass! When I say bad ass, I mean back fucking ass! This movie was better than Gladiator in terms of action definitely in terms of writing because Frank Miller rules (I don’t think he gets a lot of credit as writer as much as he gets it for changing the style. Yes he popularized the grim and gritty comic character but he still made it all work with kick-ass storytelling) and as for action we all know that the Spartans fought in bullet-time. It has been documented several times. Countless deaths, awesome visuals, superb dialog for a comic based movie and Greek mancake aplenty. Combine that with some great music and you have the best movie of the year so far, peeps. The Chachi gives 300 his highest recommendations and a….
10 out of 10 stars!!
(Aside from the focus on the over-the-top-violence, this movie was everything an epic is supposed to be. Well worth the watch, and MUST been seen in the theater to get the full effect. Oh, and this is so a date movie. Boobies and decapitations for men, hawt and shirtless Spartans for the ladies. Can’t go wrong with that!)
So did anyone watch that Pussycat Doll show? Why do these girls have to know how to sing? Only Nicole does and she is only above average at best. I SO remember her from Eden’s Crush! I…have their album somewhere. Sue me, I loved that show! I was watching a little of Best Week Ever before I left to Denver yesterday and what is with the confusion of being a whore with having independence and power? It’s like rappers confusing wealth with material goods. Yes you have a platinum coated ferret but who in the fuck is going to buy a PLATINUM COATED FERRET?! There is no resale value in that! Just like women using the Pussycat Dolls as role models. They aren’t role models, they are entertainers. There is nothing powerful about dressing and dancing like a stripper if you don’t get paid handsomely for it. Think about that next time you get your grind on for a free drink or just to prove you can have a man in the palm of your hand. Unless you got twenty dollars for it, you just wasted your time and are a little deader inside.
Eh, that had been pissing me off for a few minutes. People getting awards for being mediocre to shitty at what they do just because they are attractive. I am SO LOOKING AT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Justin. I like some of his music. However, there really isn’t anything special about him. He’s not hotter than Usher, he can’t dance a good as Bi and he can’t sing like the dudes from EXILE (more on them in a minute). He is literally an average dude with an ego. Oh, and he is white which helps out a lot. J-Tim may be better looking than me, but he thinks he’s Gackt. And let me tell you something, homeboy. YOU ARE NO GACKT!
Back on EXILE. You may not know who they are. You fucking should. This is what a boy band should sound like. They aren’t really a BOY BAND as much as they are a MAN BAND but still. Funky fresh dance moves + smooth R&B beats + groovy dance tracks = best band out there right now. I had ‘Lover’s Again’ on my MySpace page for a while and I just got their album and WHOA. Check out ‘Evolution’ their newest single from the ‘Prison Break’ TV show:
Good stuff.
Well, after last nights horrible weather debacle (good god, Monument Hill was horrible) I am gonna head outside again for a while. Oh, and FUCK CONGRESS. Daylight savings time three weeks early? THAT WILL HELP OUT THE ECONOMY. Aside from the costs companies have to incur to make all the changes to their systems to accommodate this change, I mean. If it pointless to Indiana, it’s pointless to me. Stay up, peeps. Be sure to vote for Douchebrawl! Only about four hours left until the Regional Finals begin!!
Chachi Out!
Friday, March 09, 2007
Don't Stop The Rockin'!
I’m back, and better than ever! Well, it is Friday again (WHOO-HOO!) and 300 is out tonight! The Host is also playing in Denver, thinking about heading up and pulling a double-dip. Well before that, the peeps know what time it is. It is time for the…
CHACHI TOP 20 VIDEO COUNTDOWN!!
Let’s get started!
20. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (New Entry)
Okay, I know what you are thinking. Well, here is a little known fact: I liked Avril Lavigne’s second album. I admit, what wanna fight about it? I also liked ‘Falling Down’ and ‘Things I’d Never Say’ as well so I have a track record of secretly listening to Avril. Well…this song is WAY TOO CATCHY. Oh, and the video is kinda hot. Okay, very hot.
19. Young Jeezy – I Love It (Last Week #15)
So The Snowman has almost melted. Jeezy is on his way out of the Countdown and it was a pretty good run (two weeks at #2) for him. Hell, I even dig ‘Go Getta’ (still the illest beat out right now aside from DJ Khalied’s “We’re Taking Over”) but it has R.Kelly. And FUCK R.KELLY!
18. Monkey Majik feat m-flo – Picture Perfect (Last Week #20)
Monkey Majik moves up two spots this week! I just got their discography so far and I must say I am rather impressed. Not too bad for Canadians. I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I love Canadians. Bret Hart’s Canadian and I would punch a small child if he told me to. Really Bret, just say the word. SERIOUSLY.
17. Justin Timberlake – What Goes Around, Comes Around (Last Week #18)
So the rumor is true. J-Tim DID dis Prince and that is NOT COOL. Prince is to music what Street Fighter II is to fighting games. The greatest of all fricking time. Because of that, combined with the awesomeness of this video, he moves up one spot. Wanted to take this out but…you know…Scarlett is kind of hot.
16. Halcali – Look (Last Week #11)
The ladies of Halcali fall five big spots and are on the verge of falling off of the Countdown. It has been a hella long time since Bacon was released (Yes that is the name of their album) and I haven’t seen hide nor hair of a video for ‘Lights, Camera, Action’ yet. Quit teasing!!
15. Nelly Furtado – Say It Right (Last Week #13, #1 for three weeks)
Damn, Ms. Furtado is STILL hanging around! Yet, I still watch this video rather often and this song is on every MP3 mix I make. This is now officially the biggest video of the year so far and the longest reigning video ever on the Countdown! Now, for another record breaker…
14. Home Made Kazoku – Nagaraboshi ~Shooting Star~ (New Entry)
Home Made Kazkou makes a HUGE splash in their first entry into the Countdown by themselves! They charted last year with May J, Pushim and Rhymester but they make a splash with this kickass closing theme from Naruto: Shippuuden. I just got this video Wednesday (Thanks to Roxanne at Jpop N Kpop for this one! I owe you BIG TIME!) and you KNOW the mp3 is on the iPod! This is also the highest debut EVER by a new entry (UVERworld debuted at #15 in November) and it is well deserved. J-pop fan or not, this is good music right here.
13. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (Last Week #16)
Speaking of good music! UVERworld moves up another three spots this week! Two weeks and counting until the ‘D-Technolife’ intro hits Adult Swim! Trust me, if you watch Bleach you will be blown the fuck away by that song. Well worth staying up until the ASSCRACK OF DAWN IF YOU LIVE IN COLORADO! 1am?! Bullshit. Anyway, good stuff peeps.
12. Yui – Rolling Star (Last Week #6, #1 for three weeks, Plunge of the Week)
First, the bad news. Yui falls a staggering SIX SPOTS out of the Top 10 for the first time since December. I have said it once I will say it again; this song acoustic is mind-blowing. Ladies with acoustic guitars are H-A-W-T. Don’t feel bad Yui fans…
11. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #14)
…Because the good news is Yui is a step away from the Top 10 again with another video! So I got this single a few days ago and yeah. Yui’s voice rules. I got a video of kind of an Unplugged show and she seems like a nice young lady. Speaking of Unplugged….I like Korn’s Unplugged show. Watching it now and yeah it kicks ass. Nothing to do with Yui, but still check it out. We enter the Top 10!
10. Hinoi Team – Dancin’ and Dreamin’ (Last Week #12)
And what a way to enter! Whoa, that is not innuendo laden. Just sounds like it. The ladies of Hinoi Team break into the Top 10 for the first time! Making up for not being able to have ‘Now And Forever’ on here because…you know. If you don’t know, I wont tell you. Anyway, congrats!
9. Game feat. Kanye West – Wouldn’t Get Far (Last Week #10)
The Game moves up another spot this week with his third video on the Countdown! With the ‘Hyphy Movement’ not taking off like I thought it would (The Pack FUCKING SUCKS) The Game is the only real rapper from the West Coast making noise. Aside Snoop and that nigga can kiss my ass. I said it. Fuck him. They cancel Undergrads but Doggy-Fizzle and that Nick Cannon show get syndication or picked up for a second season?! Eat if, assholes! Sorry…I gets mad sometimes.
8. T.I. feat Young Jeezy, Young Dro, Big Kuntry, & B.G. – Top Back (Remix) [Last Week #5, two weeks at #1]
T.I. falls back three spots this week after holding down the Number One spot for half a month. Have you seen the Chevy commercial where Black people crash a NASCAR event? Part of me wants to be happy, the other part wants to cry. NASCAR sucks ass and is hella boring. Hmm…hip hop sucks ass and is hella boring. Shit, lets mash them up like mashed potatoes and peas!
7. TERIYAKI BOYZ feat Kanye West – I Still Love H.E.R. (Last Week #8)
Go VERBAL, it’s your birthday! The Boyz move up a spot and close in on the Top Five! Also, Kanye West is working on his next album and reports are (RUMORS!) that the TERIYAKI BOYZ will be on it. Can I get a fuck yeah? Fuck yeah.
6. Bennie K – 1001 Nights (Last Week #9)
So I got the single the other day (Once again, thank you Roxanne. I owe you a Coke or something) and all I can say is that ‘Echo’ kicks EVEN MORE ASS than this song does. Here is to hoping there is another Bennie K album sooner than later. And to hoping that Cico decides to show off her hips a little bit more. She has some movement in the backcourt if you get my drift. Man, how many innuendos can I create for shaking hips?
5. May J feat. VERBAL – Here We Go (Last Week #3)
NOOOOOO!! May J falls two more spots this week. She does stay in the Top 5 though. I am WAITING for a new video from you, woman! Why do you ignore me?! I mean, I stopped leaving the notes and gave you back your puppy! If that doesn’t say love what the hell does?! Dammit…
4. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #7)
Yeah, you know it. John Legend does a little bit of a leapfrog and hops into the Top 5 for the third time, tying UVERworld. This is one of the few love songs I like right now (not emotional, actual love songs that make me want to talk to the opposite sex) and it is a doozy. Good stuff by Mr. Legend as usual. No, into the Top Three!
3. Daughtry – It’s Not Over (Last Week #4)
How does Paula Abdul 2.1 keep fucking surviving on American Idol?! MOTHERFUCKERS VOTED OFF SUNDANCE INSTEAD OF HIM!! Fuck you, America. Fuck you. You can’t ruin this. Daughtry makes the Top Three with his first video EVER! No first time artist has ever made it this high (Yui had two videos before Rolling Star in case you wanted to question that)! And even though he didn’t win American Idol (which has proven that Democracy doesn’t work) he is a winner here and that is all that matters!
2. Evanescence – Lithium (Last Week #2)
Amy Lee and company stand pat at Number Two this week. This seems AWFULLY familiar. These guys got caught behind the juggernaught that was John Legend’s Save Room and couldn’t take the top spot. Well, with Evanescence at number two that means there is a returning champ at Number One…
1. Namie Amuro – Baby Don’t Cry (Last Week #3, #1 for two weeks)
Evanescence, meet the juggernaught. Namie Amuro may have a vice-grip on the Top Spot after all! I still jam on this song and the video, in all its simplicity, is freaking brilliant. Great video, great song and two time champ. Congrats, Namie!
Well, that is all for today. Douchebrawl is still going on so let your vote be counted! The Suckass Sixteen ends on Sunday night so get your choices in! Also, be sure to see 300 tonight! Spartans rule, everyone else DROOLS! Until Sunday night, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out!
CHACHI TOP 20 VIDEO COUNTDOWN!!
Let’s get started!
20. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (New Entry)
Okay, I know what you are thinking. Well, here is a little known fact: I liked Avril Lavigne’s second album. I admit, what wanna fight about it? I also liked ‘Falling Down’ and ‘Things I’d Never Say’ as well so I have a track record of secretly listening to Avril. Well…this song is WAY TOO CATCHY. Oh, and the video is kinda hot. Okay, very hot.
19. Young Jeezy – I Love It (Last Week #15)
So The Snowman has almost melted. Jeezy is on his way out of the Countdown and it was a pretty good run (two weeks at #2) for him. Hell, I even dig ‘Go Getta’ (still the illest beat out right now aside from DJ Khalied’s “We’re Taking Over”) but it has R.Kelly. And FUCK R.KELLY!
18. Monkey Majik feat m-flo – Picture Perfect (Last Week #20)
Monkey Majik moves up two spots this week! I just got their discography so far and I must say I am rather impressed. Not too bad for Canadians. I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I love Canadians. Bret Hart’s Canadian and I would punch a small child if he told me to. Really Bret, just say the word. SERIOUSLY.
17. Justin Timberlake – What Goes Around, Comes Around (Last Week #18)
So the rumor is true. J-Tim DID dis Prince and that is NOT COOL. Prince is to music what Street Fighter II is to fighting games. The greatest of all fricking time. Because of that, combined with the awesomeness of this video, he moves up one spot. Wanted to take this out but…you know…Scarlett is kind of hot.
16. Halcali – Look (Last Week #11)
The ladies of Halcali fall five big spots and are on the verge of falling off of the Countdown. It has been a hella long time since Bacon was released (Yes that is the name of their album) and I haven’t seen hide nor hair of a video for ‘Lights, Camera, Action’ yet. Quit teasing!!
15. Nelly Furtado – Say It Right (Last Week #13, #1 for three weeks)
Damn, Ms. Furtado is STILL hanging around! Yet, I still watch this video rather often and this song is on every MP3 mix I make. This is now officially the biggest video of the year so far and the longest reigning video ever on the Countdown! Now, for another record breaker…
14. Home Made Kazoku – Nagaraboshi ~Shooting Star~ (New Entry)
Home Made Kazkou makes a HUGE splash in their first entry into the Countdown by themselves! They charted last year with May J, Pushim and Rhymester but they make a splash with this kickass closing theme from Naruto: Shippuuden. I just got this video Wednesday (Thanks to Roxanne at Jpop N Kpop for this one! I owe you BIG TIME!) and you KNOW the mp3 is on the iPod! This is also the highest debut EVER by a new entry (UVERworld debuted at #15 in November) and it is well deserved. J-pop fan or not, this is good music right here.
13. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (Last Week #16)
Speaking of good music! UVERworld moves up another three spots this week! Two weeks and counting until the ‘D-Technolife’ intro hits Adult Swim! Trust me, if you watch Bleach you will be blown the fuck away by that song. Well worth staying up until the ASSCRACK OF DAWN IF YOU LIVE IN COLORADO! 1am?! Bullshit. Anyway, good stuff peeps.
12. Yui – Rolling Star (Last Week #6, #1 for three weeks, Plunge of the Week)
First, the bad news. Yui falls a staggering SIX SPOTS out of the Top 10 for the first time since December. I have said it once I will say it again; this song acoustic is mind-blowing. Ladies with acoustic guitars are H-A-W-T. Don’t feel bad Yui fans…
11. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #14)
…Because the good news is Yui is a step away from the Top 10 again with another video! So I got this single a few days ago and yeah. Yui’s voice rules. I got a video of kind of an Unplugged show and she seems like a nice young lady. Speaking of Unplugged….I like Korn’s Unplugged show. Watching it now and yeah it kicks ass. Nothing to do with Yui, but still check it out. We enter the Top 10!
10. Hinoi Team – Dancin’ and Dreamin’ (Last Week #12)
And what a way to enter! Whoa, that is not innuendo laden. Just sounds like it. The ladies of Hinoi Team break into the Top 10 for the first time! Making up for not being able to have ‘Now And Forever’ on here because…you know. If you don’t know, I wont tell you. Anyway, congrats!
9. Game feat. Kanye West – Wouldn’t Get Far (Last Week #10)
The Game moves up another spot this week with his third video on the Countdown! With the ‘Hyphy Movement’ not taking off like I thought it would (The Pack FUCKING SUCKS) The Game is the only real rapper from the West Coast making noise. Aside Snoop and that nigga can kiss my ass. I said it. Fuck him. They cancel Undergrads but Doggy-Fizzle and that Nick Cannon show get syndication or picked up for a second season?! Eat if, assholes! Sorry…I gets mad sometimes.
8. T.I. feat Young Jeezy, Young Dro, Big Kuntry, & B.G. – Top Back (Remix) [Last Week #5, two weeks at #1]
T.I. falls back three spots this week after holding down the Number One spot for half a month. Have you seen the Chevy commercial where Black people crash a NASCAR event? Part of me wants to be happy, the other part wants to cry. NASCAR sucks ass and is hella boring. Hmm…hip hop sucks ass and is hella boring. Shit, lets mash them up like mashed potatoes and peas!
7. TERIYAKI BOYZ feat Kanye West – I Still Love H.E.R. (Last Week #8)
Go VERBAL, it’s your birthday! The Boyz move up a spot and close in on the Top Five! Also, Kanye West is working on his next album and reports are (RUMORS!) that the TERIYAKI BOYZ will be on it. Can I get a fuck yeah? Fuck yeah.
6. Bennie K – 1001 Nights (Last Week #9)
So I got the single the other day (Once again, thank you Roxanne. I owe you a Coke or something) and all I can say is that ‘Echo’ kicks EVEN MORE ASS than this song does. Here is to hoping there is another Bennie K album sooner than later. And to hoping that Cico decides to show off her hips a little bit more. She has some movement in the backcourt if you get my drift. Man, how many innuendos can I create for shaking hips?
5. May J feat. VERBAL – Here We Go (Last Week #3)
NOOOOOO!! May J falls two more spots this week. She does stay in the Top 5 though. I am WAITING for a new video from you, woman! Why do you ignore me?! I mean, I stopped leaving the notes and gave you back your puppy! If that doesn’t say love what the hell does?! Dammit…
4. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #7)
Yeah, you know it. John Legend does a little bit of a leapfrog and hops into the Top 5 for the third time, tying UVERworld. This is one of the few love songs I like right now (not emotional, actual love songs that make me want to talk to the opposite sex) and it is a doozy. Good stuff by Mr. Legend as usual. No, into the Top Three!
3. Daughtry – It’s Not Over (Last Week #4)
How does Paula Abdul 2.1 keep fucking surviving on American Idol?! MOTHERFUCKERS VOTED OFF SUNDANCE INSTEAD OF HIM!! Fuck you, America. Fuck you. You can’t ruin this. Daughtry makes the Top Three with his first video EVER! No first time artist has ever made it this high (Yui had two videos before Rolling Star in case you wanted to question that)! And even though he didn’t win American Idol (which has proven that Democracy doesn’t work) he is a winner here and that is all that matters!
2. Evanescence – Lithium (Last Week #2)
Amy Lee and company stand pat at Number Two this week. This seems AWFULLY familiar. These guys got caught behind the juggernaught that was John Legend’s Save Room and couldn’t take the top spot. Well, with Evanescence at number two that means there is a returning champ at Number One…
1. Namie Amuro – Baby Don’t Cry (Last Week #3, #1 for two weeks)
Evanescence, meet the juggernaught. Namie Amuro may have a vice-grip on the Top Spot after all! I still jam on this song and the video, in all its simplicity, is freaking brilliant. Great video, great song and two time champ. Congrats, Namie!
Well, that is all for today. Douchebrawl is still going on so let your vote be counted! The Suckass Sixteen ends on Sunday night so get your choices in! Also, be sure to see 300 tonight! Spartans rule, everyone else DROOLS! Until Sunday night, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out!
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
And We Some Lovely Parting Gifts...
Good morning, peeps! It’s a mid-week update for the people and needless to say, I missed you guys. And check out T-Money’s Zangief vs. Baby gif on his profile pic! Hells yeah!
So this year I want to do something special for Douchebrawl. I was going to make a trophy last year but I didn’t have no job and if nigga have no job than nigga can’t make no trophy. Ah, Tokyo Breakfast; the racism kills me inside. With that being said I would like to announce that this year (seeing as how I kind of have a job and actually have $8.71 left after I pay bills) that the winner of Douchebrawl 2007 will receive….
THE DOUCHEBRAWL GIFT PACK!! (patent not pending)
This year, the Champion of Assholes with get a gift bag worthy of their doucheiness. I am taking ideas from the peeps and friends (and Rick) as what the winner should receive but here is what I have so far:
One (1) Douchebrawl 2007 Champion T-Shirt (Also thinking about t-shirts for the runner-ups depending on cost)
One (1) Douchebrawl Trophy (Same, thinking about Regional Final and National Semi-Final Trophies as well depending on how much it will set me back)
One (1) copy of Night Rangers Greatest Hits, with or without case (MOTORIN’!!!)
One (1) copy of the old school Squaresoft Nintendo classic King’s Knight, slightly used with no instruction booklet (Square’s worst game. EVER. Even worse than SaGa Frontier and that game SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED IT HARD)
One (1) copy of Cabin Fever (Zach, Griff and Beth can vouch for me. WORST MOVIE EVER)
I am willing to spend $25 on this whole endeavor (so far, this should cost maybe $10-$15 except for the shirt. I am all about any donations or ideas from the peeps!) because as you know, I’s poor. Especially after my FASHION PARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY last week. On a bright note, I am one sexy bitch after that. So hot the ladies can’t keep their hands off all this All-American Come-And-Get-It. Anyway, feel free to drop a line for some ideas about what else to put in the gift pack. I would also like to give a letter of congratulations with the signatures and a little quote for all the people that voted (if you would like, I know I am going to say a few words) to the winner of Douchebrawl. Tell me if you think if that’s a good idea. Not sure of the legal ramifications of all this. I’m STILL surprised Tom Cruise hasn’t tried to sue me in England yet.
THEY KILLED CAPTAIN AMERICA?! FUCK, MAN! At this rate, all that will be left will be H.E.R.B.I.E! A free drink to anyone who remembers that brainrape. Man, I need to take this in. Okay, I’m done. Captain America was lame, but the man deserves some respect. He killed more Nazi’s than Chuck Norris. And that is a LOT of Nazi’s.
Well, that is all for now. I will have the Countdown up on Friday and don’t forget to vote in Douchebrawl! The count is low considering I gave an extra day! DO IT NOW!
Chachi Out.
So this year I want to do something special for Douchebrawl. I was going to make a trophy last year but I didn’t have no job and if nigga have no job than nigga can’t make no trophy. Ah, Tokyo Breakfast; the racism kills me inside. With that being said I would like to announce that this year (seeing as how I kind of have a job and actually have $8.71 left after I pay bills) that the winner of Douchebrawl 2007 will receive….
THE DOUCHEBRAWL GIFT PACK!! (patent not pending)
This year, the Champion of Assholes with get a gift bag worthy of their doucheiness. I am taking ideas from the peeps and friends (and Rick) as what the winner should receive but here is what I have so far:
One (1) Douchebrawl 2007 Champion T-Shirt (Also thinking about t-shirts for the runner-ups depending on cost)
One (1) Douchebrawl Trophy (Same, thinking about Regional Final and National Semi-Final Trophies as well depending on how much it will set me back)
One (1) copy of Night Rangers Greatest Hits, with or without case (MOTORIN’!!!)
One (1) copy of the old school Squaresoft Nintendo classic King’s Knight, slightly used with no instruction booklet (Square’s worst game. EVER. Even worse than SaGa Frontier and that game SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED IT HARD)
One (1) copy of Cabin Fever (Zach, Griff and Beth can vouch for me. WORST MOVIE EVER)
I am willing to spend $25 on this whole endeavor (so far, this should cost maybe $10-$15 except for the shirt. I am all about any donations or ideas from the peeps!) because as you know, I’s poor. Especially after my FASHION PARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY last week. On a bright note, I am one sexy bitch after that. So hot the ladies can’t keep their hands off all this All-American Come-And-Get-It. Anyway, feel free to drop a line for some ideas about what else to put in the gift pack. I would also like to give a letter of congratulations with the signatures and a little quote for all the people that voted (if you would like, I know I am going to say a few words) to the winner of Douchebrawl. Tell me if you think if that’s a good idea. Not sure of the legal ramifications of all this. I’m STILL surprised Tom Cruise hasn’t tried to sue me in England yet.
THEY KILLED CAPTAIN AMERICA?! FUCK, MAN! At this rate, all that will be left will be H.E.R.B.I.E! A free drink to anyone who remembers that brainrape. Man, I need to take this in. Okay, I’m done. Captain America was lame, but the man deserves some respect. He killed more Nazi’s than Chuck Norris. And that is a LOT of Nazi’s.
Well, that is all for now. I will have the Countdown up on Friday and don’t forget to vote in Douchebrawl! The count is low considering I gave an extra day! DO IT NOW!
Chachi Out.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Monday Night Chachi!!
Hells yeah, peeps! It’s Monday so you know what that means. Its time for the Douchebrawl recap!! The second round ended last night and here are the updated brackets with the results: 
As you can see, there were a few upsets:
George Lucas Acting Region
(1)Mel Gibson
(8)Heath Ledger
(4)Ben Affleck
(13) Julia Roberts
(3)Nick Cage
(11)Russell Crowe
(2)Ashton Kutcher
(10)Hayden Christensen
Biggest Upset:
(10) Hayden Christensen over (2) Ashton Kutcher
Wow. I know Russell Crowe and Julia Roberts had big wins but Manikin beat the Kutch! I mean WOW! Was really expecting a Mel Gibson/Ashton Kutcher Regional Final but what can you do? The peeps voted and the killer of the Star Wars franchise moves on!
Best Suckass Sixteen Match-Up:
(1) Mel Gibson vs. (13) Julia Roberts
For the first time ever, a #1 seed is in danger of not making the Regional Finals. Julia Roberts is on a roll this year after taking out Clooney AND Affleck. Can she take out her THIRD Oscar winner? I honestly think she may…
Projected Winner:
(11) Russell Crowe
Fighting round the world and winning Douchebrawl! Tugger would be proud! Something tells me he has the edge over Hayden (this is in no way discounting his douchieness) and should punch his way right to the finals!
50 Cent Musician Region
(1)Bono
(8)Fergie
(12)James Blount
(13)Snoop Dogg
(3)Eminem
(11)Dave Matthews Band
(2)Diddy
(10)Nelly
Biggest Upset:
(12) James Blount over (13) Snoop Dogg
I know James was a higher seed, but the track record of suck is so long for Snoop I thought he had this on lock. People really don’t like this guy. Shocked me, especially the margin. Can he tame the juggernaught that is Bono?
Best Suckass Sixteen Match-Up:
(2) Diddy vs. (3) Eminem
A hip hop showdown of crap! Can it get any better than this? After not even being in last year Eminem makes a shot to make the Regional Final while Diddy tries to get there after losing to Fiddy last year. Who will win? Only you can decide!
Projected Winner:
(1) Bono
Yeah, I still don’t see him losing YET. I mean James Blount sucks but…come the fuck on. It’s Bono. He’s Irish, Catholic and a self-righteous fuckface. No way he loses although the Diddy/Eminem winner has a good shot.
Heather Graham Trollop Whore Region
(1)Paris Hilton
(8)Tyra Banks
(4)Angelina Jolie
(5)Nicole Ritchie
(3)Tara Reid
(6)Lindsay Lohan
(2)Britney Spears
(10)Katie Holmes
Biggest Upset:
(6) Lindsay Lohan over (3) Tara Reid
I so called this one. Lindsay is STILL my dark horse. Tara has been out of the news while Lindsay has been skanking it up like gang-busters. It wasn’t even CLOSE between these two and Lindsay takes her momentum into a Suckass Sixteen battle with Britney Spears.
Best Suckass Sixteen Match-Up:
(1) Paris Hilton vs. (4) Angelina Jolie
Angelina’s forigen baby adopting ass needs a reality check. There are several white children that need parents. Paris has been trying to de-whore over the last few weeks but…yeah she still has the SyphilAIDS. Interesting match-up that is a toss-up.
Projected Winner:
(6) Lindsay Lohan
I still believe she has what it takes to win this thing. If she gets past Baldney (not an easy task, mind you) she could face off against her best frenemy in Paris Hilton. Oh, the crapitude overflowith!!
Andy Dick Fucktard Region
(1)K-Fed
(8)Ryan Seacrest
(4)Quentin Tarantino
(5)Wilmer Valderrama
(3)Nick Cannon
(6)Flavor Flav
(2) Peyton Manning
(7)Terrell Owens
Biggest Upset:
(2) Peyton Manning over (7) Terrell Owens
Okay, even I was shocked here. It came down to the last day and Peyton won by ONE VOTE. I really believed that seeding wouldn’t matter but Peyton and his Seabiscuit looking ass pulled it out.
Best Suckass Sixteen Match-Up:
(2) Peyton Manning vs. (3) Nick Cannon
Wow…this is going to be tough. Mainly because Nick Cannon doesn’t do ANYTHING but piss me off. I mean Peyton’s hype irks me but Nick Cannon taking breaths that Richard Pryor could have just….GRRRR! It should be craptastic.
Projected Winner:
(1) K-Fed
It can be close but this is still K-Fed’s tournament to win or lose.
So the brackets for the Suckass Sixteen are set and ready to go! The polls are open and from this point on the polls will be open from SUNDAY TO SUNDAY!! An extra two days for voting for the peeps. I will be back at some point this week for a rant (odds are Wednesday) and a new Countdown on Friday! Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out!
As you can see, there were a few upsets:
George Lucas Acting Region
(1)Mel Gibson
(8)Heath Ledger
(4)Ben Affleck
(13) Julia Roberts
(3)Nick Cage
(11)Russell Crowe
(2)Ashton Kutcher
(10)Hayden Christensen
Biggest Upset:
(10) Hayden Christensen over (2) Ashton Kutcher
Wow. I know Russell Crowe and Julia Roberts had big wins but Manikin beat the Kutch! I mean WOW! Was really expecting a Mel Gibson/Ashton Kutcher Regional Final but what can you do? The peeps voted and the killer of the Star Wars franchise moves on!
Best Suckass Sixteen Match-Up:
(1) Mel Gibson vs. (13) Julia Roberts
For the first time ever, a #1 seed is in danger of not making the Regional Finals. Julia Roberts is on a roll this year after taking out Clooney AND Affleck. Can she take out her THIRD Oscar winner? I honestly think she may…
Projected Winner:
(11) Russell Crowe
Fighting round the world and winning Douchebrawl! Tugger would be proud! Something tells me he has the edge over Hayden (this is in no way discounting his douchieness) and should punch his way right to the finals!
50 Cent Musician Region
(1)Bono
(8)Fergie
(12)James Blount
(13)Snoop Dogg
(3)Eminem
(11)Dave Matthews Band
(2)Diddy
(10)Nelly
Biggest Upset:
(12) James Blount over (13) Snoop Dogg
I know James was a higher seed, but the track record of suck is so long for Snoop I thought he had this on lock. People really don’t like this guy. Shocked me, especially the margin. Can he tame the juggernaught that is Bono?
Best Suckass Sixteen Match-Up:
(2) Diddy vs. (3) Eminem
A hip hop showdown of crap! Can it get any better than this? After not even being in last year Eminem makes a shot to make the Regional Final while Diddy tries to get there after losing to Fiddy last year. Who will win? Only you can decide!
Projected Winner:
(1) Bono
Yeah, I still don’t see him losing YET. I mean James Blount sucks but…come the fuck on. It’s Bono. He’s Irish, Catholic and a self-righteous fuckface. No way he loses although the Diddy/Eminem winner has a good shot.
Heather Graham Trollop Whore Region
(1)Paris Hilton
(8)Tyra Banks
(4)Angelina Jolie
(5)Nicole Ritchie
(3)Tara Reid
(6)Lindsay Lohan
(2)Britney Spears
(10)Katie Holmes
Biggest Upset:
(6) Lindsay Lohan over (3) Tara Reid
I so called this one. Lindsay is STILL my dark horse. Tara has been out of the news while Lindsay has been skanking it up like gang-busters. It wasn’t even CLOSE between these two and Lindsay takes her momentum into a Suckass Sixteen battle with Britney Spears.
Best Suckass Sixteen Match-Up:
(1) Paris Hilton vs. (4) Angelina Jolie
Angelina’s forigen baby adopting ass needs a reality check. There are several white children that need parents. Paris has been trying to de-whore over the last few weeks but…yeah she still has the SyphilAIDS. Interesting match-up that is a toss-up.
Projected Winner:
(6) Lindsay Lohan
I still believe she has what it takes to win this thing. If she gets past Baldney (not an easy task, mind you) she could face off against her best frenemy in Paris Hilton. Oh, the crapitude overflowith!!
Andy Dick Fucktard Region
(1)K-Fed
(8)Ryan Seacrest
(4)Quentin Tarantino
(5)Wilmer Valderrama
(3)Nick Cannon
(6)Flavor Flav
(2) Peyton Manning
(7)Terrell Owens
Biggest Upset:
(2) Peyton Manning over (7) Terrell Owens
Okay, even I was shocked here. It came down to the last day and Peyton won by ONE VOTE. I really believed that seeding wouldn’t matter but Peyton and his Seabiscuit looking ass pulled it out.
Best Suckass Sixteen Match-Up:
(2) Peyton Manning vs. (3) Nick Cannon
Wow…this is going to be tough. Mainly because Nick Cannon doesn’t do ANYTHING but piss me off. I mean Peyton’s hype irks me but Nick Cannon taking breaths that Richard Pryor could have just….GRRRR! It should be craptastic.
Projected Winner:
(1) K-Fed
It can be close but this is still K-Fed’s tournament to win or lose.
So the brackets for the Suckass Sixteen are set and ready to go! The polls are open and from this point on the polls will be open from SUNDAY TO SUNDAY!! An extra two days for voting for the peeps. I will be back at some point this week for a rant (odds are Wednesday) and a new Countdown on Friday! Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out!
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Anime, Historical Epics and Saucy Ladies. Sounds Like My Kind of Sunday!
What’s up, peep! If you are tuning in, it is a RARE weekend update for the Chachi! What can I say, I’m a giver.
So it is the end of one of the oddest months for me in history (Febuary had ups and downs for the Duece, but that is every month since 1998 for me) but March kicked off with an awesome bang! First off, Naruto : Shippuuden kicks more ass that you can even comprehend! As one that watched Naruto for the first few seasons via MIRC I LOVED IT. It was faithful to the manga (which I will admit I didn’t read very often due to the fact I was all about watching FMA and Tenjho Tenge) and even more the openings and endings kicked the ass. Flow rules, and you fucking know it. Then they said ‘STOP! Filler time’ and had about 90 episodes that were anime specific and not even PART of the manga (which is why I stopped reading for the most part) and I said ‘screw this’ and got into Peach Girl and Noir. Now, after about a year and a half of CRAP Naruto is back to the ass-kicking ninja goodness that made it cool! Oh, and the opening theme and closing theme kick ass!
Heroes Come Back! By Nobodyknows+ feat DJ Mitsu (this is becoming a ring-tone BTW) starts off the awesomeness:
And the uber-awesome Home Made Kazkou with Shooting Star to end the show!
Good stuff peeps. Seeing as only one (maybe two because I don’t think Beth ever liked Naruto) person gives a rats ass about anime that visits this blog this if for you: WATCH NARUTO: SHIPPUUDEN RIGHT NOW! YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO SMOKE A BOWL! I ALREADY MADE A PROFILE FOR YOU! PRESS A! PRESS A!
Sorry, had to get that out. Also, can I get a ‘Whoop Whoop!’ for 300 coming out Friday?! That movie may end up being better than any movie that comes out this summer (there is always a chance for suck, but I doubt it with this one) and I am talking to YOU Spiderman 3 and Pirates of the Caribbean 3. And it’s historical! It all happened and in real time like Highlander and Pootie Tang! So this Friday, you KNOW where I will be. THIS IS FOR SPARTA!!!
So it is the end of one of the oddest months for me in history (Febuary had ups and downs for the Duece, but that is every month since 1998 for me) but March kicked off with an awesome bang! First off, Naruto : Shippuuden kicks more ass that you can even comprehend! As one that watched Naruto for the first few seasons via MIRC I LOVED IT. It was faithful to the manga (which I will admit I didn’t read very often due to the fact I was all about watching FMA and Tenjho Tenge) and even more the openings and endings kicked the ass. Flow rules, and you fucking know it. Then they said ‘STOP! Filler time’ and had about 90 episodes that were anime specific and not even PART of the manga (which is why I stopped reading for the most part) and I said ‘screw this’ and got into Peach Girl and Noir. Now, after about a year and a half of CRAP Naruto is back to the ass-kicking ninja goodness that made it cool! Oh, and the opening theme and closing theme kick ass!
Heroes Come Back! By Nobodyknows+ feat DJ Mitsu (this is becoming a ring-tone BTW) starts off the awesomeness:
And the uber-awesome Home Made Kazkou with Shooting Star to end the show!
Good stuff peeps. Seeing as only one (maybe two because I don’t think Beth ever liked Naruto) person gives a rats ass about anime that visits this blog this if for you: WATCH NARUTO: SHIPPUUDEN RIGHT NOW! YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO SMOKE A BOWL! I ALREADY MADE A PROFILE FOR YOU! PRESS A! PRESS A!
Sorry, had to get that out. Also, can I get a ‘Whoop Whoop!’ for 300 coming out Friday?! That movie may end up being better than any movie that comes out this summer (there is always a chance for suck, but I doubt it with this one) and I am talking to YOU Spiderman 3 and Pirates of the Caribbean 3. And it’s historical! It all happened and in real time like Highlander and Pootie Tang! So this Friday, you KNOW where I will be. THIS IS FOR SPARTA!!!
FUCK YES. Be there.
Let’s see…what else is going on today….oh yeah, the Second Round of Douchebrawl 2007 ends tonight! Make sure you vote, there are a couple of close races and if things stay the way they are there may be a few upsets! I will have the results up tonight and the updated brackets up tomorrow! The Suckass Sixteen will officially begin on Tuesday!
American Idol update: The dudes still for the most part suck, people vote for crap, Antonella CANNOT SING and Kellie Pickler likes to push it. Push it real good. Or maybe she shops where Katherine McPhee does, who knows:
I’m not a breast-ologist so I don’t know or care if they are fake or not. As most people know unless you are Jennifer Love Hewitt or Salma Hayek I could care less about boobs (because Salma is just PERFECT. My god…cup filling) because they are overrated but I will say this. Kellie’s backfield is IN MOTION IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
That girls body is thick like a McDonald’s milkshake. A behind like that brings ME to the yard if you get my drift. THE BACKYARD!! Ah…my innuendo is priceless. IN-HER-ENDO! Subtlety has always been a strong point of mine. Lemme get one more for the road…
Man, too bad Ryan Seacrest is gayer than Gay Day in Gayzor, South Gayvania because I would have to beg for a bit of change if you know what I mean. Better to beg for change than beg for bills. If you don’t get that joke shape your hand for getting a dollar bill and then shape your hand for getting change. EUERKA! Yeah, you know that’s good stuff.
Well, it is a kick ass day outside so I am going to go back outside for a while. There are still a few more hours to vote for Douchebrawl so get your last second ballots in! I will be back tomorrow or LATE tonight with an update on the results of Douchebrawl! Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi out.
American Idol update: The dudes still for the most part suck, people vote for crap, Antonella CANNOT SING and Kellie Pickler likes to push it. Push it real good. Or maybe she shops where Katherine McPhee does, who knows:
I’m not a breast-ologist so I don’t know or care if they are fake or not. As most people know unless you are Jennifer Love Hewitt or Salma Hayek I could care less about boobs (because Salma is just PERFECT. My god…cup filling) because they are overrated but I will say this. Kellie’s backfield is IN MOTION IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
That girls body is thick like a McDonald’s milkshake. A behind like that brings ME to the yard if you get my drift. THE BACKYARD!! Ah…my innuendo is priceless. IN-HER-ENDO! Subtlety has always been a strong point of mine. Lemme get one more for the road…
Man, too bad Ryan Seacrest is gayer than Gay Day in Gayzor, South Gayvania because I would have to beg for a bit of change if you know what I mean. Better to beg for change than beg for bills. If you don’t get that joke shape your hand for getting a dollar bill and then shape your hand for getting change. EUERKA! Yeah, you know that’s good stuff.
Well, it is a kick ass day outside so I am going to go back outside for a while. There are still a few more hours to vote for Douchebrawl so get your last second ballots in! I will be back tomorrow or LATE tonight with an update on the results of Douchebrawl! Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi out.
Friday, March 02, 2007
It's Ladies Night!
It’s Friday, ya’ll! It is time for the Friday staple! Get your applesauce and crack up your speakers because it is time for the….
CHACHI TOP 20 VIDEO COUNTDOWN!!
We start with a debut video!
20. Monkey Majik feat m-flo – Picture Perfect (New Entry)
Okay, I can explain. A CANADIAN GROUP THAT DOES JAPANESE MUSIC?! I can’t explain it. I have been all about this video for about a month but with new stuff from UVERworld, John Legend and Bennie K it was hard to fit these guys in. Groovy tune and more great work by m-flo. Don’t look now, but VERBAL has THREE VIDEOS on this week. Damn, he is the T.I. of 2007. Just everywhere.
19. Koda Kumi – Twinkle (Last Week #16)
Sadly, we will soon be saying goodbye to one Koda Kumiko. It is a shame, Black Cherry has some kick ass songs on it (albeit most already have videos) and one more single couldn’t hurt. Even still, nice run for Ms. Koda with this one.
18. Justin Timberlake – What Goes Around, Comes Around (New Entry)
Michael Jackson had no less that seven. Usher had one. Bi had one. Now Justin Timberlake has his epic video. This one clocks in at about 8 minutes of greatness. Oh, and I agree with Zach. Scarlett Johanssen’s breasts can cure cancer and stop wars. Great song to boot. (Update: J-TIM DISSED PRINCE?! OH NO HE MOTHERFUCKING DIDN’T! PRINCE RULES YOUR FACE!)
17. Rain (Bi) – In My Bed (Last Week #14)
So I was getting my jam on to Freeway yesterday and I realized that maybe this whole boycott is silly of me. Maybe I can live without ‘Man Up’ being released as a video. Fuck that, give me my DAMN VIDEO! NOW!
16. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (Last Week #19)
So UVERworld moves up three spots this week. So here is the album review of BUGRIGHT. Ahem. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR! BUY THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW! PRESS A! PRESS A! ZOMBIES IS AT THE DOOR! IF YOU DON’T BUY IT THEY GONNA EAT YOU! Seriously, aint a bad song on that bad boy and ‘51%’ is the BEST SONG ON THERE. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.
15. Young Jeezy – I Love It (Last Week #11)
So Young Jeezy falls another four spots after peaking at #2 for two weeks in January. So I am probably the only one that wants this, but a remix of ‘Go Getta’ with T.I. and Rick Ross would be fucking tits. I’m just saying.
14. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #17)
So someone gave the look on Sunday when I had this on and the windows open. You know the look. The look of confusidisgusthatredshock. It hurts because this song is modern J-Rock goodness. Like Lisa Loeb but Japanese and tap worthy. Anyone who has heard her acoustic work knows she is good stuff. As is this video.
13. Nelly Furtado – Say It Right (Last Week #9, #1 for three weeks)
For the first time since December, Nelly Furtado falls out of the Top 10! It has been a long time but if you have heard the song and seen the video you know why. She has a new video with Timbaland and Justin Timberlake (Oh yeah, the cup runs over) so she wont be gone for long!
12. Hinoi Team – Dancin’ and Dreamin’ (Last Week #15)
The Hinoi Team is having a pretty good showing for their first time on the Video Top 20! Just a small hop from the Top 10 to boot. A small hop like they do in the video…yeah that’s good stuff. Can I just say AGAIN to do that whole routine in high heels takes skills? I mean not like I have ever tried, but I can only imagine and all.
11. Halcali – Look (Last Week #7)
First Nelly Furtado now Halcali?! What gives man? Even though they fall, I still dig this video and am waiting patiently for the next one.
10. Game feat. Kanye West – Wouldn’t Get Far (Last Week #12)
Westside! The Game records his third Top Ten while Kanye West has his second of 2007! I still like how this video pokes at the video vixen craze that I figured would be over by now. I mean there are several ideas for videos; do they all have to include half dressed women? That is another rant altogether. Anyway, congrats to The Game!
9. Bennie K – 1001 Nights (Last Week #13)
Speaking of multiple Top Tens. Another day, another Bennie K video is in my playlist. The song doesn’t do it for me like ‘Joy Trip’ did but this video is pure CGI goodness. Oh, and did I mention that Cico dances again? Hells yeah, can’t beat that with a baseball that. I never would, I’m a lover.
8. TERIYAKI BOYZ feat Kanye West – I Still Love H.E.R. (Last Week #10)
More VERBAL, fool! This video and song have finally found a groove with me. It actually doesn’t freak people out because it has Kanye West in it and the members of the TERIYAKI BOYZ brought their notebooks with them because the lyrics are coherent. And the video is rather original, too.
7. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #8)
Well DUH! If John Legend has a video, it is on here. And he is coming to Denver in April! Guess who will be there? Yeah, you know it. If his live show is anything like the House of Blues DVD then I am in for one hell of a show! Check him out if you cant, I guarantee satisfaction!
6. Yui – Rolling Star (Last Week #4, #1 for three weeks)
Now we have a video on the downswing. Yui has been on here for a while (15 weeks I think) and she is finally making the move down. It is about time for a new Bleach opening (maybe episode 119-121, somewhere in there) and I am looking forward to it. All the opening themes have either ruled all (Asterik, D-Technolife, and of course Rolling Star) or grew on me (Ichirin No Hana and Tonight, Tonight, Tonight) so get ready for some awesomeness! Time for the Top Five! We begin with a shocker…
5. T.I. feat Young Jeezy, Young Dro, Big Kuntry, & B.G. – Top Back (Remix) [Last Week #1, two weeks at #1]
After two weeks, T.I. falls out of the Top spot! And it is the biggest fall since Beat Crusaders fell from #1 to #10 with Tonight, Tonight, Tonight. This is a reflection more on the fact that I NEED SOME NEW T.I. RIGHT NOW! I recommend ‘Get It’ because….well Swizz Beats can kick ass sometimes and it is one of the times he does. Reminds me of ‘Bring Em Out’ a little. Even still, let us move along…
4. Daughtry – It’s Not Over (Last Week #5)
Daughtry inches closer to the Top Three moving up one spot to the number 4 spot. I think I may watch American Idol now, if not to boo the crap out of the male contestants. Can you believe that Chris didn’t win but these fuckfaces can make it past the prelims?! This is shenanigans! At least he gets his props on the Chachi Top 20 Video Countdown! We have entered the Big Three, peeps!
3. May J feat. VERBAL – Here We Go (Last Week #2)
May J falls a spot after ALMOST taking the crown from T.I. last week. Still waiting for some new stuff from her and I CANNOT be the only one. I mean c’mon look at this video! It has dancing, hot chicks and VERBAL! It only needs explosions and we have a classic. Like ‘I’m Coming’ by Bi but hawter. And that is hard to do because Bi is fucking FIY-YAH! On to Number Two…
2. Evanescence – Lithium (Last Week #6, Biggest Mover)
Look who it is! Once again, they sneak up and make a bid for being my favorite video and song! I used to be a closet Evanescence fan but now I don’t care. The world can know I find Amy Lee to be hawt and that I think this band rocks the box. Even after a large leap, Amy Lee and Co. couldn’t take the Number One spot! Who has it?
1. Namie Amuro – Baby Don’t Cry (Last Week #3, #1 for one week)
You got that right, nobody fucks with the Namie! Namie has her first Number One video on the Chachi Video Countdown! As anyone can tell you, this is my favorite song since ‘I Wanna Be Rich’ by Calloway and my favorite video since ‘Give It To You’ by Jordan Knight. Yeah, I’m eclectic. It’s my favorite ringtone and Namie is looking quite nice, too. STILL needs a sandwich. Great song, awesome video and new Number One!
Well, that is all for this week! Can Namie hold on for a second week? Or will Evanescence’s second run get them to the top spot? Or will May Jay or Daughtry pull a fast one and conquer the Countdown? Tune in next Friday to find out! Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out!
CHACHI TOP 20 VIDEO COUNTDOWN!!
We start with a debut video!
20. Monkey Majik feat m-flo – Picture Perfect (New Entry)
Okay, I can explain. A CANADIAN GROUP THAT DOES JAPANESE MUSIC?! I can’t explain it. I have been all about this video for about a month but with new stuff from UVERworld, John Legend and Bennie K it was hard to fit these guys in. Groovy tune and more great work by m-flo. Don’t look now, but VERBAL has THREE VIDEOS on this week. Damn, he is the T.I. of 2007. Just everywhere.
19. Koda Kumi – Twinkle (Last Week #16)
Sadly, we will soon be saying goodbye to one Koda Kumiko. It is a shame, Black Cherry has some kick ass songs on it (albeit most already have videos) and one more single couldn’t hurt. Even still, nice run for Ms. Koda with this one.
18. Justin Timberlake – What Goes Around, Comes Around (New Entry)
Michael Jackson had no less that seven. Usher had one. Bi had one. Now Justin Timberlake has his epic video. This one clocks in at about 8 minutes of greatness. Oh, and I agree with Zach. Scarlett Johanssen’s breasts can cure cancer and stop wars. Great song to boot. (Update: J-TIM DISSED PRINCE?! OH NO HE MOTHERFUCKING DIDN’T! PRINCE RULES YOUR FACE!)
17. Rain (Bi) – In My Bed (Last Week #14)
So I was getting my jam on to Freeway yesterday and I realized that maybe this whole boycott is silly of me. Maybe I can live without ‘Man Up’ being released as a video. Fuck that, give me my DAMN VIDEO! NOW!
16. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (Last Week #19)
So UVERworld moves up three spots this week. So here is the album review of BUGRIGHT. Ahem. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR! BUY THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW! PRESS A! PRESS A! ZOMBIES IS AT THE DOOR! IF YOU DON’T BUY IT THEY GONNA EAT YOU! Seriously, aint a bad song on that bad boy and ‘51%’ is the BEST SONG ON THERE. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.
15. Young Jeezy – I Love It (Last Week #11)
So Young Jeezy falls another four spots after peaking at #2 for two weeks in January. So I am probably the only one that wants this, but a remix of ‘Go Getta’ with T.I. and Rick Ross would be fucking tits. I’m just saying.
14. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #17)
So someone gave the look on Sunday when I had this on and the windows open. You know the look. The look of confusidisgusthatredshock. It hurts because this song is modern J-Rock goodness. Like Lisa Loeb but Japanese and tap worthy. Anyone who has heard her acoustic work knows she is good stuff. As is this video.
13. Nelly Furtado – Say It Right (Last Week #9, #1 for three weeks)
For the first time since December, Nelly Furtado falls out of the Top 10! It has been a long time but if you have heard the song and seen the video you know why. She has a new video with Timbaland and Justin Timberlake (Oh yeah, the cup runs over) so she wont be gone for long!
12. Hinoi Team – Dancin’ and Dreamin’ (Last Week #15)
The Hinoi Team is having a pretty good showing for their first time on the Video Top 20! Just a small hop from the Top 10 to boot. A small hop like they do in the video…yeah that’s good stuff. Can I just say AGAIN to do that whole routine in high heels takes skills? I mean not like I have ever tried, but I can only imagine and all.
11. Halcali – Look (Last Week #7)
First Nelly Furtado now Halcali?! What gives man? Even though they fall, I still dig this video and am waiting patiently for the next one.
10. Game feat. Kanye West – Wouldn’t Get Far (Last Week #12)
Westside! The Game records his third Top Ten while Kanye West has his second of 2007! I still like how this video pokes at the video vixen craze that I figured would be over by now. I mean there are several ideas for videos; do they all have to include half dressed women? That is another rant altogether. Anyway, congrats to The Game!
9. Bennie K – 1001 Nights (Last Week #13)
Speaking of multiple Top Tens. Another day, another Bennie K video is in my playlist. The song doesn’t do it for me like ‘Joy Trip’ did but this video is pure CGI goodness. Oh, and did I mention that Cico dances again? Hells yeah, can’t beat that with a baseball that. I never would, I’m a lover.
8. TERIYAKI BOYZ feat Kanye West – I Still Love H.E.R. (Last Week #10)
More VERBAL, fool! This video and song have finally found a groove with me. It actually doesn’t freak people out because it has Kanye West in it and the members of the TERIYAKI BOYZ brought their notebooks with them because the lyrics are coherent. And the video is rather original, too.
7. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #8)
Well DUH! If John Legend has a video, it is on here. And he is coming to Denver in April! Guess who will be there? Yeah, you know it. If his live show is anything like the House of Blues DVD then I am in for one hell of a show! Check him out if you cant, I guarantee satisfaction!
6. Yui – Rolling Star (Last Week #4, #1 for three weeks)
Now we have a video on the downswing. Yui has been on here for a while (15 weeks I think) and she is finally making the move down. It is about time for a new Bleach opening (maybe episode 119-121, somewhere in there) and I am looking forward to it. All the opening themes have either ruled all (Asterik, D-Technolife, and of course Rolling Star) or grew on me (Ichirin No Hana and Tonight, Tonight, Tonight) so get ready for some awesomeness! Time for the Top Five! We begin with a shocker…
5. T.I. feat Young Jeezy, Young Dro, Big Kuntry, & B.G. – Top Back (Remix) [Last Week #1, two weeks at #1]
After two weeks, T.I. falls out of the Top spot! And it is the biggest fall since Beat Crusaders fell from #1 to #10 with Tonight, Tonight, Tonight. This is a reflection more on the fact that I NEED SOME NEW T.I. RIGHT NOW! I recommend ‘Get It’ because….well Swizz Beats can kick ass sometimes and it is one of the times he does. Reminds me of ‘Bring Em Out’ a little. Even still, let us move along…
4. Daughtry – It’s Not Over (Last Week #5)
Daughtry inches closer to the Top Three moving up one spot to the number 4 spot. I think I may watch American Idol now, if not to boo the crap out of the male contestants. Can you believe that Chris didn’t win but these fuckfaces can make it past the prelims?! This is shenanigans! At least he gets his props on the Chachi Top 20 Video Countdown! We have entered the Big Three, peeps!
3. May J feat. VERBAL – Here We Go (Last Week #2)
May J falls a spot after ALMOST taking the crown from T.I. last week. Still waiting for some new stuff from her and I CANNOT be the only one. I mean c’mon look at this video! It has dancing, hot chicks and VERBAL! It only needs explosions and we have a classic. Like ‘I’m Coming’ by Bi but hawter. And that is hard to do because Bi is fucking FIY-YAH! On to Number Two…
2. Evanescence – Lithium (Last Week #6, Biggest Mover)
Look who it is! Once again, they sneak up and make a bid for being my favorite video and song! I used to be a closet Evanescence fan but now I don’t care. The world can know I find Amy Lee to be hawt and that I think this band rocks the box. Even after a large leap, Amy Lee and Co. couldn’t take the Number One spot! Who has it?
1. Namie Amuro – Baby Don’t Cry (Last Week #3, #1 for one week)
You got that right, nobody fucks with the Namie! Namie has her first Number One video on the Chachi Video Countdown! As anyone can tell you, this is my favorite song since ‘I Wanna Be Rich’ by Calloway and my favorite video since ‘Give It To You’ by Jordan Knight. Yeah, I’m eclectic. It’s my favorite ringtone and Namie is looking quite nice, too. STILL needs a sandwich. Great song, awesome video and new Number One!
Well, that is all for this week! Can Namie hold on for a second week? Or will Evanescence’s second run get them to the top spot? Or will May Jay or Daughtry pull a fast one and conquer the Countdown? Tune in next Friday to find out! Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out!
Monday, February 26, 2007
This Is ChachiCenter! Work In Progress On The Name...
What is up, peeps? Its time for MONDAY NIGHT CHACHI!!! Eh, the name is a work in progress. Let first off thank everyone for their votes in Douchebrawl 2007! As this goes on it can get nothing but more awesome. Your votes mean a lot to the Chachi. I said I wasn’t gonna cry….strong Chachi….
Lets get on with the show!! Here are the finalized results!
Biggest Upset#4 R.Kelly vs #13 Snoop Dogg
Wow. For the second straight year Snoop makes it to the second round beating someone I thought was more of an asshat than him. I really thought R.Kelly had a HUGE chance to win this but I was so wrong. Congrats, Snoop!
Biggest Upset: None.
Projected Winner: #1 Kevin Federline
Lets get on with the show!! Here are the finalized results!
Now, for the recap!
50 Cent Musicians Region
50 Cent Musicians Region
Best Match-Up#5 Clay Aiken vs. #12 James Blount
It is times like this that they play the game! I thought Clay had this matchup on lockdown but the douchery of James Blount prevailed! Clay actually had the lead on the first few days but James came on strong for one of the biggest upsets in Douchebrawl history!
It is times like this that they play the game! I thought Clay had this matchup on lockdown but the douchery of James Blount prevailed! Clay actually had the lead on the first few days but James came on strong for one of the biggest upsets in Douchebrawl history!
Biggest Upset#4 R.Kelly vs #13 Snoop Dogg
Wow. For the second straight year Snoop makes it to the second round beating someone I thought was more of an asshat than him. I really thought R.Kelly had a HUGE chance to win this but I was so wrong. Congrats, Snoop!
Best Second Round Match-Up#3 Eminem vs. #11 Dave Matthews Band
DMB pulled another upset by beating Toby Keith in the First Round while Eminem dusted Akon. The official music of Bro Rape has a legit shot to take down Mr. Mathers and then who knows?
DMB pulled another upset by beating Toby Keith in the First Round while Eminem dusted Akon. The official music of Bro Rape has a legit shot to take down Mr. Mathers and then who knows?
Projected Winner: #1 Bono
As of right now, the losses of R.Kelly and Clay Aiken give him an easy road (perceivably) to the Douchebrawl Final Four. As the people have shown anything can happen, but Bono’s road has just gotten a tad bit easier.
George Lucas Acting Region
Best Match Up: #7 Leonardo DiCaprio vs. #10 Hayden Christensen
WOW. Once again, Hayden finds a way to win in the First Round of Douchebrawl! It came down to a tiebreaker (the second one ever!) and Hayden gets the nod over Leo because he is the love interest of Jessica Alba in his next movie. Congrats, dick! On to the Second Round!
WOW. Once again, Hayden finds a way to win in the First Round of Douchebrawl! It came down to a tiebreaker (the second one ever!) and Hayden gets the nod over Leo because he is the love interest of Jessica Alba in his next movie. Congrats, dick! On to the Second Round!
Biggest Upset: #4 George Clooney vs. #13 Julia Roberts
Rory Cow! For the second straight year George Clooney gets bounced in the First Round by a lower seed! Julia meanwhile gets to the Second Round yet again in a rematch with Ben Affleck! I really thought this was George’s year.
Rory Cow! For the second straight year George Clooney gets bounced in the First Round by a lower seed! Julia meanwhile gets to the Second Round yet again in a rematch with Ben Affleck! I really thought this was George’s year.
Best Second Round Match-Up#11 Russell Crowe vs. #3 Nick Cage
This is the match that could blow this thing open. A win by Russell Crowe could do for him what the upset of Cameron Diaz did for Heather Graham but opening up the bracket for a showdown with the top seed. Or, Nick Cage could parley being retarded (or from Tennessee) into the Final Eight. This matchup is HUGE.
This is the match that could blow this thing open. A win by Russell Crowe could do for him what the upset of Cameron Diaz did for Heather Graham but opening up the bracket for a showdown with the top seed. Or, Nick Cage could parley being retarded (or from Tennessee) into the Final Eight. This matchup is HUGE.
Projected Winner: #1 Mel Gibson
Yeah, gotta go with Mel this time. He still trumps out all the rest in all around douchiness.
Yeah, gotta go with Mel this time. He still trumps out all the rest in all around douchiness.
Heather Graham Trollop Whore Region
Best Match-Up: #8 Tyra Banks vs #9 Pamela Anderson
This is more by default. The were no real shockers this year with there being such a top heavy field. Tyra dominated Pam which was a bit of a shock, though.
This is more by default. The were no real shockers this year with there being such a top heavy field. Tyra dominated Pam which was a bit of a shock, though.
Biggest Upset: #7 Jessica Simpson vs. #10 Katie Holmes
Katie avenges last years First Round exit! Being the wife of Tom Cruise automatically got her some votes here and pushes her to an upset of the obviously-missing-Nick Lachey Jessica Simpson.
Katie avenges last years First Round exit! Being the wife of Tom Cruise automatically got her some votes here and pushes her to an upset of the obviously-missing-Nick Lachey Jessica Simpson.
Best Second Round Match-Up: #3 Tara Reid vs. #6 Lindsay Lohan
This match-up could be VERY hotly contested mainly because they both suck about evenly. Lindsay more so lately but Tara’s track record is a LOT longer in terms of suckitude. Let the battle begin!!Projected Winner: #1 Paris HiltonNo change. Britney is REALLY trying to win this bad boy but Paris until further notice is the UCLA of this region.Andy Dick Fucktard Region
This match-up could be VERY hotly contested mainly because they both suck about evenly. Lindsay more so lately but Tara’s track record is a LOT longer in terms of suckitude. Let the battle begin!!Projected Winner: #1 Paris HiltonNo change. Britney is REALLY trying to win this bad boy but Paris until further notice is the UCLA of this region.Andy Dick Fucktard Region
Best Matchup:#6 Flavor Flav vs. #11The Verizon Guy
This was a personal shocker because I hate Verizon so much now. My signal doesn’t even work in my house! Meh, the peeps spoke and now Flav and the clock are in the Second Round in a rather close matchup.
Biggest Upset: None.
All the higher seeds won their First Round Match-Ups. Kind of shocking but it makes for a stacked Second Round.
Best Second Round Matchup: #1 Kevin Federline vs. #8 Ryan Seacrest
I totally underestimated the distain for Ryan Seacrest. He has a real legit chance of knocking out K-Fed or at least giving him a run for his money. The Valderrama/Tarrentino match up is intriguing but I gotta go for the Moron vs. The Idol Idiot.
I totally underestimated the distain for Ryan Seacrest. He has a real legit chance of knocking out K-Fed or at least giving him a run for his money. The Valderrama/Tarrentino match up is intriguing but I gotta go for the Moron vs. The Idol Idiot.
Projected Winner: #1 Kevin Federline
I repeat ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. But odds are it wont. K-Fed wins this bad boy.
Well, the First Round is officially over and the Second Round kicks off tomorrow! I am working on the polls as we speak and once they are up cast your votes! You have until Sunday at 10pm MST to cast your ballots! I will be back soon!
Chachi Out!
Well, the First Round is officially over and the Second Round kicks off tomorrow! I am working on the polls as we speak and once they are up cast your votes! You have until Sunday at 10pm MST to cast your ballots! I will be back soon!
Chachi Out!
Idol Chatter
What’s up peeps? Douchebrawl 2007’s First Round went off pretty damn well and I first want to thank you guys for that. I have updated the brackets already and will have them in PDF format on the website and as a JPEG on the Blogger and MySpace blogs. There were a few upsets and a TIE for the second straight year that I had to break myself! Great work, peeps!
Okay, now with that out of the way it is rant time! Now not many of you watch American Idol (Hell, I stopped watching after ‘Daughtrygate’ because HE WUZ ROBBED!) but I have been hearing about Antonella Barba and her ‘scandalous’ pictures on the interweb. First off, YES I have seen the pictures and YES it does kind of look like her. Could be, could not be but it isn’t a dead ringer. Need to do some more investigation if you get my drift. Forensic reasons! Either way, even if it is I have something to say to America:
SO THE HELL WHAT?!
Okay, people think I have a really big issue with women. I think they can be really ignorant about their decisions and their rational for their actions (staying with an idiot for EIGHT YEARS?! What the hell, man?!) but at the end of the day, it’s the same as I ALWAYS SAY. You have to chalk it up as a loss and charge it to the game. Big ups to 40 Water for that one. I understand that the position she was in is rather compromising but let’s face it. Ladies, be serious how many times have you given mouth-love to a guy? Now simple logic would be to never EVER film it in any way shape or form. Not for protection (although I think that would be smart, it’s like filming a damn robbery) but quite simply there is no reason to. However, if that is your thing than it is just your thing.
I honestly believe that people have a REAL issue about this solely because this is a show geared for teens. However, who are the dirtiest of all? Teens! Teenagers now do nastier acts now than when I was a kid (keep in mind my experience is limited and impaired by substances) so seeing or hearing about the images are actually not that big of a deal IMHO. Besides, she is human (a HAWT human at that but with no talent) and humans do stupid things. Hell, Paris Hilton parleyed worse than this into movies and a record deal. And she isn’t nearly as good as Antonella is!
The simple fact is that mouth-love is a fact of life. People are acting like this is a big deal and it is SO WRONG when there are people on the show with kids. That means they actually had SEX rather than just mouth-love. Let’s not kick her off of the show because of her actions off of it. Let the peeps decide! I mean we can buy albums from drug dealers, wife beaters and child molesters but a girl works a wang on camera and is the epitome of all that is whoredom and must be ostracized. Bullshit. I for one am boycotting American Idol if they kick her off for this, same as I did for Frenchie. I hope the peeps join me in watching ABC’s line-up of Knights of Prosperity and In Case Of Emergency! VIVA ANTONELLA!!
Wow…I defended a woman. Yeesh, I must be softening my stance on my nemesis. I guess New Year, new attitude. Oh, on Saturday Nick and I went SHOPPING!! Yes, that sounded gay and I don’t care. I got some shoes, watches and sunglasses. And I finally found something I have wanted for a LOOOOOONG time in my size. Stay tuned because CHACHI’S FASHION PARTAAAAAY is coming soon! You better work it, bitch! Sashay shante! *Sigh* I swear I’m not gay.
So lastly I got Civil War #7 on Wednesday and all I can say is I was not expecting THAT. I won’t ruin it for you (albeit aside from two of you I know none of you give a fuck) but it wasn’t up to par with Identity Crisis (few things are) in terms of the ending. It was rather deep (NO, CAP! NOOOOO!) at the end and NAMOR came and wrecked shop! Aquaman should take note on how to be an underwater king. Anyway, if any of you read comic I recommend reading this since this is the precursor to where Marvel is going for the next year or so until they revamp or create a fucking pocket universe. And Tony Stark is a dick.
Well, that is all for now. I will have the detailed results of Douchebrawl 2007’s First Round up later today and the polls will be up no later than Wednesday (odds are tomorrow morning) so tell your friends and stalkers to vote! With your help this could be bigger than The Snorks! Oh, also this week I will have reviews of Reno 911: Miami (best movie of the year so far?) and album reviews of UVERworld’s BUGRIGHT and Dragon Ash’s INDEPENDINETE! Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out!
Okay, now with that out of the way it is rant time! Now not many of you watch American Idol (Hell, I stopped watching after ‘Daughtrygate’ because HE WUZ ROBBED!) but I have been hearing about Antonella Barba and her ‘scandalous’ pictures on the interweb. First off, YES I have seen the pictures and YES it does kind of look like her. Could be, could not be but it isn’t a dead ringer. Need to do some more investigation if you get my drift. Forensic reasons! Either way, even if it is I have something to say to America:
SO THE HELL WHAT?!
Okay, people think I have a really big issue with women. I think they can be really ignorant about their decisions and their rational for their actions (staying with an idiot for EIGHT YEARS?! What the hell, man?!) but at the end of the day, it’s the same as I ALWAYS SAY. You have to chalk it up as a loss and charge it to the game. Big ups to 40 Water for that one. I understand that the position she was in is rather compromising but let’s face it. Ladies, be serious how many times have you given mouth-love to a guy? Now simple logic would be to never EVER film it in any way shape or form. Not for protection (although I think that would be smart, it’s like filming a damn robbery) but quite simply there is no reason to. However, if that is your thing than it is just your thing.
I honestly believe that people have a REAL issue about this solely because this is a show geared for teens. However, who are the dirtiest of all? Teens! Teenagers now do nastier acts now than when I was a kid (keep in mind my experience is limited and impaired by substances) so seeing or hearing about the images are actually not that big of a deal IMHO. Besides, she is human (a HAWT human at that but with no talent) and humans do stupid things. Hell, Paris Hilton parleyed worse than this into movies and a record deal. And she isn’t nearly as good as Antonella is!
The simple fact is that mouth-love is a fact of life. People are acting like this is a big deal and it is SO WRONG when there are people on the show with kids. That means they actually had SEX rather than just mouth-love. Let’s not kick her off of the show because of her actions off of it. Let the peeps decide! I mean we can buy albums from drug dealers, wife beaters and child molesters but a girl works a wang on camera and is the epitome of all that is whoredom and must be ostracized. Bullshit. I for one am boycotting American Idol if they kick her off for this, same as I did for Frenchie. I hope the peeps join me in watching ABC’s line-up of Knights of Prosperity and In Case Of Emergency! VIVA ANTONELLA!!
Wow…I defended a woman. Yeesh, I must be softening my stance on my nemesis. I guess New Year, new attitude. Oh, on Saturday Nick and I went SHOPPING!! Yes, that sounded gay and I don’t care. I got some shoes, watches and sunglasses. And I finally found something I have wanted for a LOOOOOONG time in my size. Stay tuned because CHACHI’S FASHION PARTAAAAAY is coming soon! You better work it, bitch! Sashay shante! *Sigh* I swear I’m not gay.
So lastly I got Civil War #7 on Wednesday and all I can say is I was not expecting THAT. I won’t ruin it for you (albeit aside from two of you I know none of you give a fuck) but it wasn’t up to par with Identity Crisis (few things are) in terms of the ending. It was rather deep (NO, CAP! NOOOOO!) at the end and NAMOR came and wrecked shop! Aquaman should take note on how to be an underwater king. Anyway, if any of you read comic I recommend reading this since this is the precursor to where Marvel is going for the next year or so until they revamp or create a fucking pocket universe. And Tony Stark is a dick.
Well, that is all for now. I will have the detailed results of Douchebrawl 2007’s First Round up later today and the polls will be up no later than Wednesday (odds are tomorrow morning) so tell your friends and stalkers to vote! With your help this could be bigger than The Snorks! Oh, also this week I will have reviews of Reno 911: Miami (best movie of the year so far?) and album reviews of UVERworld’s BUGRIGHT and Dragon Ash’s INDEPENDINETE! Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out!
Friday, February 23, 2007
Aw, Ish Duece K Back Again
Good morning, peeps! It’s Friday again so you know what it is time for! It’s time for the…
CHACHI TOP 20 VIDEO COUNTDOWN!!
Let’s get this party started! Whoop Whoop! Kam? Anyone? Eh, screw it I got some West Coast in me.
20. RBD (Rebelde) – Ser o Parecer (Last Week #16, Plunge of the Week)
The longest reiging video on the Countdown spends what may be its last week on. They have been videoless for about 3 months now and needless to say, it is about time for a new one. Here is to more Anahi soon!
19. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (New Entry)
Yeah, you know it. UVERworld is attempting to be the first ANYTHING with four #1 videos on the Countdown! It is possible, but with John Legend, Bennie K and Yui on it may be a hell of a dogfight. I should be getting the album any day now!
18. Omarion – Ice Box (Last Week #14)
Update: Still no video for ‘Man Up’. Man, they should just hire me to direct it. Greatest music video since that Jacksons’ video with the eye in the hand. Scary stuff.
17. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #20)
Yui makes a modest three place jump this week. I have yet to hear word about her album (March is the latest I heard) but guaranteed I will be one of the first to buy that bad boy. This video has grown on me. Still hate deer, though.
16. Koda Kumi – Twinkle (Last Week #13)
The second wave of Kumi’s greatest hits is coming! Can you say hells yeah? Because I can. Here is to hoping for a new video to go along with that album. I kind of miss her and her refusal to wear clothes.
15. Hinoi Team – Dancin’ and Dreamin’ (Last Week #17)
The ladies of Hinoi Team move up two spots this week. So I get looked at pretty weird when I am singing along to this song in my car. Odds are because I do the dance too but that is neither here nor there. This video is quite nice and so are they. In a strictly legal way, of course.
14. Rain (Bi) – In My Bed (Last Week #11)
Yeah, no ‘Man Up’ no Top 10. Those are the rules. Also, it has been a while since a new video which sucks because Eternal Rain is a bad ass album. There are at least 5 good singles on it. Eh, thems the breaks.
13. Bennie K – 1001 Nights (Last Week #18, Biggest Mover)
Ah, my Yuki and Cico fix has finally been given. Bennie K is like a drug, man. I needs my hit! Has anyone noticed that Yuki never really moves? I mean Cico dances in the videos but even on stage Yui is planted to the ground. I would like to plant something in her if you know what I mean. And I think you do. My innuendo is priceless.
12. Game feat. Kanye West – Wouldn’t Get Far (Last Week #15)
So The Game moves a little closer to his third straight Top Ten video. That would tie the usual suspects (UVERworld, Nelly Furtado, Bi and John Legend) so that is pretty elite company. Oh, and Gloria Velez. Quite nice.
11. Young Jeezy – I Love It (Last Week #8)
So Young Jeezy got to #1 with T.I. but his solo video falls out of the Top Ten for the first time since December. ‘Go Getta’ is really getting to me as that beat is bangin. The video is okay (standard ‘booty butt cheeks’ fare) but it has R.Kelly in it. Damn it, the quandary this creates! Well, we are into the Top Ten!
10. TERIYAKI BOYZ feat Kanye West – I Still Love H.E.R. (Last Week #12)
Hells yeah! VERBAL is in the Top Ten for a second time with the TERIYAKI BOYZ this time! Don’t forget, he had one of my favorite songs last year with ‘Summer Time Love’. I am still digging this video and hopefully this equals a new TERIYAKI BOYZ album (that is better than their first lackluster attempt) AND a new Kanye album, minus the insanity.
9. Nelly Furtado – Say It Right (Last Week #9, #1 for three weeks)
Whoa, Nelly! Ms. Furtado hangs on to the Top Ten AGAIN! This makes her record 11th week in the Top Ten, breaking UVERworld’s record for Shamrock! Sadly, I haven’t seen a new video from her in a while so she HAS to hang on. Even still, congrats are in order.
8. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #10)
Well look who it is! Mr. Legend is slowly making his way up the Countdown again. This video has grown on me, even more so than ‘Heaven’ did. Can he make it his 3rd straight Number One? We'll see!
7. Halcali – Look (Last Week #4)
Halcali falls this week after a stay in the Top Five, but don’t fret! ‘Lights, Camera, Action’ will be out soon and it’s the opening to the anime ‘Getsumen to Heiki Mina’ which was in Densha Otoko (WHICH RULES ALL! Too bad it was so true. I’M SO LAME!). Hopefully there will be a video for that soon because that song is CATCHY!
6. Evanescence – Lithium (Last Week #7)
Wow, these guys always find a way to sneak up on me. With the fan fare that is UVERworld, Bennie K and Yui racing up the Countdown, once again Evanescence is nonchalantly making their way into the Top Five. Last year ‘Call Me When You’re Sober’ peaked at #2 for two weeks behind a little guy named John Legend. Look out for this video, it is AWESOME.
5. Daughtry – It’s Not Over (Last Week #5)
After a blazing run up the Countdown, Daughtry slows down and takes a break at #5 for the second straight week. Has anyone seen American Idol lately? I watched about seven minutes of it yesterday and BOY DOES IT SUCK! I heard the dudes sound like the rejected tryouts from O-Town and from what I saw the girls were ‘bleh’. At least Chris didn’t suck.
4. Yui – Rolling Star (Last Week #2, #1 for three weeks)
Aw, man! Yui falls two more places this week after a lengthy stay at #1. Although she has another video on the Countdown (and an album I HOPE!) I still love this video. And her, of course. Got the acoustic version of this song and it is quite nice. Now, to the Top Three!
3. Namie Amuro – Baby Don’t Cry (Last Week #6)
Namie busts into the Top Three after only a MONTH of being on the Countdown! That is the fastest rise EVER. And rightfully so, this song is grandtastic! Great video that really goes in line with it, as well. Oh, and even though she needs a sandwich (or two) and can be robotic when it comes to dancing I still think she is ‘the hawtness’. Yeah, I’d hit that.
2. May J feat. VERBAL – Here We Go (Last Week #3)
Speaking of hawt ladies! May J moves up one spot to the runner up position! Just one step away from the Number One spot! I have yet to see a new video from her, but like it matters. This video is enough for me. Well, with May J and VERBAL at Number Two, you know who Number One is…
1. T.I. feat Young Jeezy, Young Dro, Big Kuntry, & B.G. – Top Back (Remix) [Last Week #1, two weeks at #1]
The King holds on to his throne for another week! Sadly it may be a while before we get a new video because his album ‘T.I. vs. T.I.P.’ isn’t coming out until this summer. Man, that is quite the wait. Even still, the ‘Top Back Remix’ holds the top down for a second week.
That is all for today, peeps. Douchebrawl is up and running and the polls will be open until next Thursday! Also, tune in next Friday for the Top 20 Video Countdown! Can T.I. tie Nelly Furtado and Yui for the longest running #1’s of 2007? Or will May J FINALLY take the Number One spot after 14 weeks? Or can Namie Amuro continue her meteoric rise and take the crown? Tune in next Friday for the Countdown and Douchebrawl updates! Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out!
CHACHI TOP 20 VIDEO COUNTDOWN!!
Let’s get this party started! Whoop Whoop! Kam? Anyone? Eh, screw it I got some West Coast in me.
20. RBD (Rebelde) – Ser o Parecer (Last Week #16, Plunge of the Week)
The longest reiging video on the Countdown spends what may be its last week on. They have been videoless for about 3 months now and needless to say, it is about time for a new one. Here is to more Anahi soon!
19. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (New Entry)
Yeah, you know it. UVERworld is attempting to be the first ANYTHING with four #1 videos on the Countdown! It is possible, but with John Legend, Bennie K and Yui on it may be a hell of a dogfight. I should be getting the album any day now!
18. Omarion – Ice Box (Last Week #14)
Update: Still no video for ‘Man Up’. Man, they should just hire me to direct it. Greatest music video since that Jacksons’ video with the eye in the hand. Scary stuff.
17. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #20)
Yui makes a modest three place jump this week. I have yet to hear word about her album (March is the latest I heard) but guaranteed I will be one of the first to buy that bad boy. This video has grown on me. Still hate deer, though.
16. Koda Kumi – Twinkle (Last Week #13)
The second wave of Kumi’s greatest hits is coming! Can you say hells yeah? Because I can. Here is to hoping for a new video to go along with that album. I kind of miss her and her refusal to wear clothes.
15. Hinoi Team – Dancin’ and Dreamin’ (Last Week #17)
The ladies of Hinoi Team move up two spots this week. So I get looked at pretty weird when I am singing along to this song in my car. Odds are because I do the dance too but that is neither here nor there. This video is quite nice and so are they. In a strictly legal way, of course.
14. Rain (Bi) – In My Bed (Last Week #11)
Yeah, no ‘Man Up’ no Top 10. Those are the rules. Also, it has been a while since a new video which sucks because Eternal Rain is a bad ass album. There are at least 5 good singles on it. Eh, thems the breaks.
13. Bennie K – 1001 Nights (Last Week #18, Biggest Mover)
Ah, my Yuki and Cico fix has finally been given. Bennie K is like a drug, man. I needs my hit! Has anyone noticed that Yuki never really moves? I mean Cico dances in the videos but even on stage Yui is planted to the ground. I would like to plant something in her if you know what I mean. And I think you do. My innuendo is priceless.
12. Game feat. Kanye West – Wouldn’t Get Far (Last Week #15)
So The Game moves a little closer to his third straight Top Ten video. That would tie the usual suspects (UVERworld, Nelly Furtado, Bi and John Legend) so that is pretty elite company. Oh, and Gloria Velez. Quite nice.
11. Young Jeezy – I Love It (Last Week #8)
So Young Jeezy got to #1 with T.I. but his solo video falls out of the Top Ten for the first time since December. ‘Go Getta’ is really getting to me as that beat is bangin. The video is okay (standard ‘booty butt cheeks’ fare) but it has R.Kelly in it. Damn it, the quandary this creates! Well, we are into the Top Ten!
10. TERIYAKI BOYZ feat Kanye West – I Still Love H.E.R. (Last Week #12)
Hells yeah! VERBAL is in the Top Ten for a second time with the TERIYAKI BOYZ this time! Don’t forget, he had one of my favorite songs last year with ‘Summer Time Love’. I am still digging this video and hopefully this equals a new TERIYAKI BOYZ album (that is better than their first lackluster attempt) AND a new Kanye album, minus the insanity.
9. Nelly Furtado – Say It Right (Last Week #9, #1 for three weeks)
Whoa, Nelly! Ms. Furtado hangs on to the Top Ten AGAIN! This makes her record 11th week in the Top Ten, breaking UVERworld’s record for Shamrock! Sadly, I haven’t seen a new video from her in a while so she HAS to hang on. Even still, congrats are in order.
8. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #10)
Well look who it is! Mr. Legend is slowly making his way up the Countdown again. This video has grown on me, even more so than ‘Heaven’ did. Can he make it his 3rd straight Number One? We'll see!
7. Halcali – Look (Last Week #4)
Halcali falls this week after a stay in the Top Five, but don’t fret! ‘Lights, Camera, Action’ will be out soon and it’s the opening to the anime ‘Getsumen to Heiki Mina’ which was in Densha Otoko (WHICH RULES ALL! Too bad it was so true. I’M SO LAME!). Hopefully there will be a video for that soon because that song is CATCHY!
6. Evanescence – Lithium (Last Week #7)
Wow, these guys always find a way to sneak up on me. With the fan fare that is UVERworld, Bennie K and Yui racing up the Countdown, once again Evanescence is nonchalantly making their way into the Top Five. Last year ‘Call Me When You’re Sober’ peaked at #2 for two weeks behind a little guy named John Legend. Look out for this video, it is AWESOME.
5. Daughtry – It’s Not Over (Last Week #5)
After a blazing run up the Countdown, Daughtry slows down and takes a break at #5 for the second straight week. Has anyone seen American Idol lately? I watched about seven minutes of it yesterday and BOY DOES IT SUCK! I heard the dudes sound like the rejected tryouts from O-Town and from what I saw the girls were ‘bleh’. At least Chris didn’t suck.
4. Yui – Rolling Star (Last Week #2, #1 for three weeks)
Aw, man! Yui falls two more places this week after a lengthy stay at #1. Although she has another video on the Countdown (and an album I HOPE!) I still love this video. And her, of course. Got the acoustic version of this song and it is quite nice. Now, to the Top Three!
3. Namie Amuro – Baby Don’t Cry (Last Week #6)
Namie busts into the Top Three after only a MONTH of being on the Countdown! That is the fastest rise EVER. And rightfully so, this song is grandtastic! Great video that really goes in line with it, as well. Oh, and even though she needs a sandwich (or two) and can be robotic when it comes to dancing I still think she is ‘the hawtness’. Yeah, I’d hit that.
2. May J feat. VERBAL – Here We Go (Last Week #3)
Speaking of hawt ladies! May J moves up one spot to the runner up position! Just one step away from the Number One spot! I have yet to see a new video from her, but like it matters. This video is enough for me. Well, with May J and VERBAL at Number Two, you know who Number One is…
1. T.I. feat Young Jeezy, Young Dro, Big Kuntry, & B.G. – Top Back (Remix) [Last Week #1, two weeks at #1]
The King holds on to his throne for another week! Sadly it may be a while before we get a new video because his album ‘T.I. vs. T.I.P.’ isn’t coming out until this summer. Man, that is quite the wait. Even still, the ‘Top Back Remix’ holds the top down for a second week.
That is all for today, peeps. Douchebrawl is up and running and the polls will be open until next Thursday! Also, tune in next Friday for the Top 20 Video Countdown! Can T.I. tie Nelly Furtado and Yui for the longest running #1’s of 2007? Or will May J FINALLY take the Number One spot after 14 weeks? Or can Namie Amuro continue her meteoric rise and take the crown? Tune in next Friday for the Countdown and Douchebrawl updates! Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out!
Okay, Finally Some Order To This Thing...
Okay, first off I am glad to see everyone voting. Sad that I take more pride in this than national elections but I REALLY dont like Nick Cannon. Due to the early start of Douchebrawl (Tuesday) I have decided to change the end date from Friday of each week to Sunday of each week. That cuts two days off but it gives me a chance to give the updates and prepare then next round. That means voting days will be:
First Round: 2/21/2007 to 2/25/2007
Second Round: 2/27/2007 to 3/4/2007
Suckass Sixteen: 3/6/2007 to 3/11/2007
Elite Eight: 3/13/2007 to 3/18/2007
Final Four: 3/20/2007 to 3/25/2007
Douchebrawl Championship: 3/27/2006 to 4/1/2007
Holy shit that hits on April Fools Day. Wow, I seriously didnt catch that. Anyway, take note and vote! THE POWER IS YOURS!!!
Chachi Out
First Round: 2/21/2007 to 2/25/2007
Second Round: 2/27/2007 to 3/4/2007
Suckass Sixteen: 3/6/2007 to 3/11/2007
Elite Eight: 3/13/2007 to 3/18/2007
Final Four: 3/20/2007 to 3/25/2007
Douchebrawl Championship: 3/27/2006 to 4/1/2007
Holy shit that hits on April Fools Day. Wow, I seriously didnt catch that. Anyway, take note and vote! THE POWER IS YOURS!!!
Chachi Out
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Testing! Testing!
Hey, Blogger peeps! If you look to your right, you will see the Douchebrawl first round matchups! It is okay to vote, although the kickoff is Friday. Think of it as absentee. I am still tweaking the site and trying to figure out how to do this on MySpace so until then Douchebrawl is officially ON!
Chachi Out.
(Update: I have four matchups for each region up. I will have four today and then four up tomorrow. Once the site is up I will have all 32 matchups up until next Thursday at Midnight. Lets get douchy!)
Chachi Out.
(Update: I have four matchups for each region up. I will have four today and then four up tomorrow. Once the site is up I will have all 32 matchups up until next Thursday at Midnight. Lets get douchy!)
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
It's Time To Man(ning) Up.
Good morning peeps! Haven’t spoken to ya’ll in a bit! I have been sick on my ass the last few days. I literally sounded like Wheezy yesterday and coughing up pleghm is…not fun to say the least. And DayQuil sucks for the most part. Shit doesn’t work.
Major announcement! The Douchebrawl 2007 polls are finished and the website is…not. But the polls will be up on Friday on my Blogger page and the website (it should be up and running by then). I will try to fit the polls on the MySpace page, too.
Okay, it is rant time. As you know, I try not to rant about sports (unless I am hanging out with Rick) but today…I hate people. Now before I say this let me preface: I don’t like Tom Brady. Anyone that will travel into the void that is Tara Reid’s gullyhole is someone I CANNOT respect. With that being said….since when is Peyton Manning better than Tom Brady?! Just because Peyton wins ONE SUPER BOWL people are putting him up there with Marino, Elway and Montana (THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME). Manning is NOT better than Troy Aikman, Steve Young or even….Brett…Farve. My god, I think my brain just cracked with that one. All I can say is this. Peyton Manning was two bonehead Rex Grossman plays from being the next Warren Moon. Hell, Warren Moon was a better quarterback than Peyton solely because god HATED the Houston Oilers! Seriously, powder blue is cool in college, not the pros. Denver Nuggets; I am looking squarely at you. I mean you can’t take the numbers away from Peyton and I don’t want to because he earned them bad boys. One Super Bowl doesn’t make you great. Hell, Trent Dilfer quarterbacked a Super Bowl.
Now I am not hating on Peyton himself, I am hating on the NFL’s love affair with him. It’s the same thing with the NBA and LeBron ‘Of Course I’m Twenty!’ James. Both put up gaudy numbers on pretty good teams (well, the Cavs kind of suck) and they are seen as the future of the sport. Yet, what have they accomplished? Let’s not forget the Colts had home field advantage TWICE in the last five years and didn’t win nary a Super Bowl. And even with all the hype (and there is A LOT) around Mike Vick at least he lives up to (and exceeds) it with the talent around him (of which there is none). Name the starting receivers on the Colts. Now, the Atlanta Falcons. Nuff said. Peyton Manning has a LOADED offense and a defense that can stop people, kind of. And he until this year CHOKED. More on that later.
Hell, there are two quarterbacks better than Manning in the AFC RIGHT NOW (Tom ‘Babydaddy’ Brady and Carson Palmer who is the best QB in the league) and two in the NFC (Drew Brees and Brett Farve when he isn’t throwing it to the other team). Yes, he has a Super Bowl right but Brady has three, Farve has one and went a second time and if not for Troy Aikman/Steve Young may have went more. Carson Palmer would have had one if someone had not tried to roll him up like an SUV in a gentle curve last year. As for Drew, I have a soft spot for the Saints and had Fred ‘The Sun Was In My Eyes!’ Smith actually COVERED the Bears receivers the Super Bowl would have been a different story. The Colts D would have had NO ANSWER for Bush and McAllister. Meh, in closing Peyton is not all that. Jim McMahon won a Super Bowl! And he was a better singer AND DANCER!!
I had to get that out. I will update the peeps on Douchebrawl soon. Stay up, peeps.
IT’S THE UPTOWN TOKYO SLAMMING NIGHT!!!
Kid ‘N’ Play, j-pop style.
Chachi Out.
Major announcement! The Douchebrawl 2007 polls are finished and the website is…not. But the polls will be up on Friday on my Blogger page and the website (it should be up and running by then). I will try to fit the polls on the MySpace page, too.
Okay, it is rant time. As you know, I try not to rant about sports (unless I am hanging out with Rick) but today…I hate people. Now before I say this let me preface: I don’t like Tom Brady. Anyone that will travel into the void that is Tara Reid’s gullyhole is someone I CANNOT respect. With that being said….since when is Peyton Manning better than Tom Brady?! Just because Peyton wins ONE SUPER BOWL people are putting him up there with Marino, Elway and Montana (THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME). Manning is NOT better than Troy Aikman, Steve Young or even….Brett…Farve. My god, I think my brain just cracked with that one. All I can say is this. Peyton Manning was two bonehead Rex Grossman plays from being the next Warren Moon. Hell, Warren Moon was a better quarterback than Peyton solely because god HATED the Houston Oilers! Seriously, powder blue is cool in college, not the pros. Denver Nuggets; I am looking squarely at you. I mean you can’t take the numbers away from Peyton and I don’t want to because he earned them bad boys. One Super Bowl doesn’t make you great. Hell, Trent Dilfer quarterbacked a Super Bowl.
Now I am not hating on Peyton himself, I am hating on the NFL’s love affair with him. It’s the same thing with the NBA and LeBron ‘Of Course I’m Twenty!’ James. Both put up gaudy numbers on pretty good teams (well, the Cavs kind of suck) and they are seen as the future of the sport. Yet, what have they accomplished? Let’s not forget the Colts had home field advantage TWICE in the last five years and didn’t win nary a Super Bowl. And even with all the hype (and there is A LOT) around Mike Vick at least he lives up to (and exceeds) it with the talent around him (of which there is none). Name the starting receivers on the Colts. Now, the Atlanta Falcons. Nuff said. Peyton Manning has a LOADED offense and a defense that can stop people, kind of. And he until this year CHOKED. More on that later.
Hell, there are two quarterbacks better than Manning in the AFC RIGHT NOW (Tom ‘Babydaddy’ Brady and Carson Palmer who is the best QB in the league) and two in the NFC (Drew Brees and Brett Farve when he isn’t throwing it to the other team). Yes, he has a Super Bowl right but Brady has three, Farve has one and went a second time and if not for Troy Aikman/Steve Young may have went more. Carson Palmer would have had one if someone had not tried to roll him up like an SUV in a gentle curve last year. As for Drew, I have a soft spot for the Saints and had Fred ‘The Sun Was In My Eyes!’ Smith actually COVERED the Bears receivers the Super Bowl would have been a different story. The Colts D would have had NO ANSWER for Bush and McAllister. Meh, in closing Peyton is not all that. Jim McMahon won a Super Bowl! And he was a better singer AND DANCER!!
I had to get that out. I will update the peeps on Douchebrawl soon. Stay up, peeps.
IT’S THE UPTOWN TOKYO SLAMMING NIGHT!!!
Kid ‘N’ Play, j-pop style.
Chachi Out.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Clash of the Champions!
Lazy Sunday, peeps! The Chonic-WHAT-cles of Narnia! Ah, I still love that song. So, how goes it? I am feeling SHIT-TY. Yesterday afternoon I guess the flu hit me like a ton of bricks on my way to Denver. Decided to turn around and go to sleep and it ain’t much better today. However, I have to do something for the peeps. Yes, the peeps (all nine of you) come before my own health. Today is the beginning of the grandest battle in history! Today, the eve of President’s Day I give you the final brackets of the ultimate in asshole standoffs! I give to you…
THE 2ND ANNUAL TOM CRUSIE DOUCHEBRAWL 2007 SELECTION SHOW!!!
The votes have been tallied, the recommendations have been taken to heart and the cold medicine is SO KICKING IN! KEEEEEEWWWWT!
Behold, the final brackets!!
Now let’s have an in-depth look at the 2007 Brackets!
50 Cent Musicians Region
Favorite: #1 Bono
Lets face it. This was his bracket last year and Fiddy winning was actually kind of an upset. Yes, he helps the starving children but so does Sally Struthers. Although she then ate them. Despite the compition (Nelly, Emimem, Clay Aiken) this is Bono’s region to lose
Dark Horse: #4. R.Kelly
After coming in as a #4 seed, if R.Kelly can get past Snoop Dogg in the first round and then the Clay Aiken/James Blount winner that puts him odds are against Bono. If R.Kelly gets past him, he could make a run to the Championship!
Best First Round Matchup/UPSET ALERT!!: #2 Diddy vs. #15 Nickelback
This is intriguing. Like I said a week ago, a 15 seed over a 2 seed is almost a given in the NCAA’s due to variance and a week team. Diddy has been quite and don’t underestimate the hatred of Nickelback (which I never got. I hate Hinder more than I hate them but to each their own) because a win here could make them the Heather Graham of 2007!
Projected Winner: #1 Bono
Like I said, the matchup between Fiddy and Bono last year was the closest of all the Region Finals so this is Bono’s year to take the Douchebrawl Trophy home. Despite some tough competitors this year, Bono has it. Don’t count out Nelly, though!
George Lucas Acting Region
Favorite: #1 Mel Gibson
Mel was actually dominating the region until he ran into the Douche-saw that is Tom Cruise in his run to Douchebrawl immortality. Mel has had a truly douchy 12 months with the anti-Semitic rants and the shitty movie. Even still, after last years performance (which he led Tom until the last day of voting!) it is hard to go against him winning this region.
Dark Horse: #11 Russell Crowe
Barely missed out making it last year (seriously, he didn’t make it on because of a copy and paste mistake on my part) Mr. Crowe gets a low initial seed but has a VERY winnable part of the bracket. If he beats Jack Black and the Del Toro/Nick Cage winner in the Second Round then he has a very good chance to make it to face Mel. And as we saw with the Heather Graham/Britney Spears Region Final last year, anything can happen!
Best First Round Matchup: #4 George Clooney vs. #13 Julia Roberts
This battle intrigues me only because no matter who wins, we are all the loser because I can’t stand either one of these people. The winner also has an interesting chance of beating Mel Gibson in the Suckass Sixteen.
UPSET ALERT!: #6 Jack Black vs. #11 Russell Crowe
Like I said, Russell has a good chance to win this bad boy. Even though Nacho Libre is enough to garner hatred for Jack I think that this could be the big shocker of this region.
Projected Winner: #2 Ashton Kutcher
WHAT?! Not going with Mel on this one?! Well, it is the underdog theory. Last year Ashton was the hunted (he was more despised than K-Fed according to the responses I got), but this year it is all about Mel in this region (and the newly invited Russell Crowe). Don’t be surprised to see Ashton sneak into the Region Final and the peeps hop on his suckass bandwagon. It could happen!
Heather Graham Trollop Whore Region
Favorite: #4 Angelina Jolie
Why do I put her as the favorite? Well, due to the luck of the draw she gets the top half of the bracket which aside from Paris Hilton isn’t as stacked as the bottom. Also, I feel that she broke up Brad and Jen (YOU BITCH!!) and I think the peeps feel the same. Besides, she scares me.
Dark Horse: #6 Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay has been all OVER THE PLACE over the last month or so and is only behind (sadly) Anna Nicole in the gossip section. Like in the NCAA’s it is about who comes in hot (Georgia Tech in 2004) and bracket position/competition (LSU in 2006) and Lindsay has the bottom half of the bracket AND is on a roll. Don’t count her out!
Best First Round Matchup: #4 Angelina Jolie vs #13 Kumi Koda
This will be interesting because most people have NO IDEA who Kumi Koda is. However, those that hate her are diehard. With enough interest this could be the most hotly contested match up of the First Round!
UPSET ALERT!!: #3 Tara Reid vs #14 Drew Barrymore
This is more by default because Tara Reid has kind of…disappeared. What has she done over the last five months of note? No booby slips or nothing. Meanwhile, Drew Barrymore is still breathing which garners my anger so this is an interesting first round matchup. It also really opens things up in the bottom half of the Bracket.
Projected Winner: #1 Paris Hilton
Now this is a given. There is almost no way she doesn’t win this in her first year. Lindsay has a chance and I despise Angelina more but Paris is like Bono right now. This region is hers to lose.
Andy Dick Fucktard Region
Favorite: #1 Kevin Federline
C’mon, peeps! The man made Popozao. POPOZAO! Nuff said!
Dark Horse: # 9 Papa Bear
It pains me to say this, but after himself pwn3d by Stephen Colbert it seems that the heat on Bill has gotten really bad. If he beats K-Fed (which is completely possible) he could win this region. I’m sorry, Papa Bear.
Best First Round Matchup: #2 Peyton Manning vs. #15 Carlos Mencia
This was actually a request from a complete stranger (which is odd, because I have maybe two people that visit this site in the tri-city area) and I had to oblige. Carlos’s humor has run its course (although sometimes he is still funny, but less and less) meanwhile Peyton Manning is PEYTON FUCKING MANNING! This could be an upset because more people think Carlos is unfunny than think Peyton needs to be put down. It is funny because he looks like a fucking horse.
UPSET ALERT!! #6 Flavor Flav vs. #11 Verizon Guy
Fuck Verizon. Anyone that has Verizon and hates it will odds are vote for this dude. You know how many times my calls drop a day? An average of three times. Biggest network my fat black ass! Flav may want to watch out, this could be a sleeper close match.
Projected Winner: #1 Kevin Federline
A lot of things COULD happen. However, K-Fed is K-Fed. And he sucks. It. Hard. Nick Cannon could sneak up and win this bad boy (FUCK NICK CANNON) but this is K-Fed’s region to win.
I can make all the predictions I want, it is up to the peeps to chose who the CHAMPION OF DOUCHEBRAWL 2007 will be! I will have the first 16 polls up this Thursday or Saturday (I have to pay my bills you know) and the second set up Friday or Sunday. Also, to avoid clutter half will be on MySpace the other will be on Blogger. If things change I will let the peeps know ASAP.
That is all for now, peeps. Enjoy the long weekend and I am out to get some more cold medicine. That shit RULES ALL. Stay up, peeps.
Chachi out.
THE 2ND ANNUAL TOM CRUSIE DOUCHEBRAWL 2007 SELECTION SHOW!!!
The votes have been tallied, the recommendations have been taken to heart and the cold medicine is SO KICKING IN! KEEEEEEWWWWT!
Behold, the final brackets!!
Now let’s have an in-depth look at the 2007 Brackets!
50 Cent Musicians Region
Favorite: #1 Bono
Lets face it. This was his bracket last year and Fiddy winning was actually kind of an upset. Yes, he helps the starving children but so does Sally Struthers. Although she then ate them. Despite the compition (Nelly, Emimem, Clay Aiken) this is Bono’s region to lose
Dark Horse: #4. R.Kelly
After coming in as a #4 seed, if R.Kelly can get past Snoop Dogg in the first round and then the Clay Aiken/James Blount winner that puts him odds are against Bono. If R.Kelly gets past him, he could make a run to the Championship!
Best First Round Matchup/UPSET ALERT!!: #2 Diddy vs. #15 Nickelback
This is intriguing. Like I said a week ago, a 15 seed over a 2 seed is almost a given in the NCAA’s due to variance and a week team. Diddy has been quite and don’t underestimate the hatred of Nickelback (which I never got. I hate Hinder more than I hate them but to each their own) because a win here could make them the Heather Graham of 2007!
Projected Winner: #1 Bono
Like I said, the matchup between Fiddy and Bono last year was the closest of all the Region Finals so this is Bono’s year to take the Douchebrawl Trophy home. Despite some tough competitors this year, Bono has it. Don’t count out Nelly, though!
George Lucas Acting Region
Favorite: #1 Mel Gibson
Mel was actually dominating the region until he ran into the Douche-saw that is Tom Cruise in his run to Douchebrawl immortality. Mel has had a truly douchy 12 months with the anti-Semitic rants and the shitty movie. Even still, after last years performance (which he led Tom until the last day of voting!) it is hard to go against him winning this region.
Dark Horse: #11 Russell Crowe
Barely missed out making it last year (seriously, he didn’t make it on because of a copy and paste mistake on my part) Mr. Crowe gets a low initial seed but has a VERY winnable part of the bracket. If he beats Jack Black and the Del Toro/Nick Cage winner in the Second Round then he has a very good chance to make it to face Mel. And as we saw with the Heather Graham/Britney Spears Region Final last year, anything can happen!
Best First Round Matchup: #4 George Clooney vs. #13 Julia Roberts
This battle intrigues me only because no matter who wins, we are all the loser because I can’t stand either one of these people. The winner also has an interesting chance of beating Mel Gibson in the Suckass Sixteen.
UPSET ALERT!: #6 Jack Black vs. #11 Russell Crowe
Like I said, Russell has a good chance to win this bad boy. Even though Nacho Libre is enough to garner hatred for Jack I think that this could be the big shocker of this region.
Projected Winner: #2 Ashton Kutcher
WHAT?! Not going with Mel on this one?! Well, it is the underdog theory. Last year Ashton was the hunted (he was more despised than K-Fed according to the responses I got), but this year it is all about Mel in this region (and the newly invited Russell Crowe). Don’t be surprised to see Ashton sneak into the Region Final and the peeps hop on his suckass bandwagon. It could happen!
Heather Graham Trollop Whore Region
Favorite: #4 Angelina Jolie
Why do I put her as the favorite? Well, due to the luck of the draw she gets the top half of the bracket which aside from Paris Hilton isn’t as stacked as the bottom. Also, I feel that she broke up Brad and Jen (YOU BITCH!!) and I think the peeps feel the same. Besides, she scares me.
Dark Horse: #6 Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay has been all OVER THE PLACE over the last month or so and is only behind (sadly) Anna Nicole in the gossip section. Like in the NCAA’s it is about who comes in hot (Georgia Tech in 2004) and bracket position/competition (LSU in 2006) and Lindsay has the bottom half of the bracket AND is on a roll. Don’t count her out!
Best First Round Matchup: #4 Angelina Jolie vs #13 Kumi Koda
This will be interesting because most people have NO IDEA who Kumi Koda is. However, those that hate her are diehard. With enough interest this could be the most hotly contested match up of the First Round!
UPSET ALERT!!: #3 Tara Reid vs #14 Drew Barrymore
This is more by default because Tara Reid has kind of…disappeared. What has she done over the last five months of note? No booby slips or nothing. Meanwhile, Drew Barrymore is still breathing which garners my anger so this is an interesting first round matchup. It also really opens things up in the bottom half of the Bracket.
Projected Winner: #1 Paris Hilton
Now this is a given. There is almost no way she doesn’t win this in her first year. Lindsay has a chance and I despise Angelina more but Paris is like Bono right now. This region is hers to lose.
Andy Dick Fucktard Region
Favorite: #1 Kevin Federline
C’mon, peeps! The man made Popozao. POPOZAO! Nuff said!
Dark Horse: # 9 Papa Bear
It pains me to say this, but after himself pwn3d by Stephen Colbert it seems that the heat on Bill has gotten really bad. If he beats K-Fed (which is completely possible) he could win this region. I’m sorry, Papa Bear.
Best First Round Matchup: #2 Peyton Manning vs. #15 Carlos Mencia
This was actually a request from a complete stranger (which is odd, because I have maybe two people that visit this site in the tri-city area) and I had to oblige. Carlos’s humor has run its course (although sometimes he is still funny, but less and less) meanwhile Peyton Manning is PEYTON FUCKING MANNING! This could be an upset because more people think Carlos is unfunny than think Peyton needs to be put down. It is funny because he looks like a fucking horse.
UPSET ALERT!! #6 Flavor Flav vs. #11 Verizon Guy
Fuck Verizon. Anyone that has Verizon and hates it will odds are vote for this dude. You know how many times my calls drop a day? An average of three times. Biggest network my fat black ass! Flav may want to watch out, this could be a sleeper close match.
Projected Winner: #1 Kevin Federline
A lot of things COULD happen. However, K-Fed is K-Fed. And he sucks. It. Hard. Nick Cannon could sneak up and win this bad boy (FUCK NICK CANNON) but this is K-Fed’s region to win.
I can make all the predictions I want, it is up to the peeps to chose who the CHAMPION OF DOUCHEBRAWL 2007 will be! I will have the first 16 polls up this Thursday or Saturday (I have to pay my bills you know) and the second set up Friday or Sunday. Also, to avoid clutter half will be on MySpace the other will be on Blogger. If things change I will let the peeps know ASAP.
That is all for now, peeps. Enjoy the long weekend and I am out to get some more cold medicine. That shit RULES ALL. Stay up, peeps.
Chachi out.
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